“MAIL! Phil! We got mail!”

  Those were the words that jolted Phil from his lazy stupor from where he was laying in his hammock, with one leg poking out and a closed-up deck box bouncing between his hands. Jean had burst in like a madman, excitement glittering in his eyes like miniature stars. In one of his hands was a simple box, already half-open. In it, resting on a piece of blue cloth, was an odd-looking glove and two chips in the form of stars.

  “Looks like Solomon came through.” Phil grinned as he hopped down from his hammock to investigate the goods.

  Jean fully opened the lid, revealing a short note that had been hidden a moment before by it. He began to read it out loud.

  “Bonjour, I hope this finds you in good health, Phil. As there is only a short amount of time before the famed ‘Duelist Kingdom’ tournament is set to begin, I have enclosed your invitation and the two items you will need to participate in the tournament within this package. Though invitations were only sent to 40 of Japan’s top duelists, a list of which would have ordinarily excluded you not due to a lack of skill, but a lack of reputation, you are in luck. A close colleague of mine by the name of Mito Katsuragi received an invitation by virtue of being among the top 20, but his daughter has recently given birth to a wonderful grandson and he wishes to remain home to assist her with any troubles that might come up. Thus, I was able to redirect this package to you, Phil. Best of luck, and please give Jean my apologies for failing to find a second glove for him. Though, I have a feeling you still might find some way to get him in.”

  “Nice.” Phil gave two thumbs up, which Jean immediately mirrored. “You should still come with.”

  “You have a plan?” Jean sharply caught on to where Phil was heading with his words.

  “Let’s just say I have a… somewhat advanced idea of what we’re gonna face there. There’re normal duelists, and then there’s a group of flaming cunts hired by Pegasus to trim down the numbers. They call themselves ‘Player Killers’. They aren’t really in the tournament, but they go around trapping duelists to steal their chips. Think of ‘em as a way to quickly get the semi-finals going. Anyway, I say we find one of those assholes, beat them in a children’s card game, steal their glove, and take their chips. Profit.”

  Jean grinned. Phil grinned back. Their hands met in a vigorous and manly handshake.

  “Now… I do wonder why this got mailed…” Jean offhandedly wondered. “Kame Game is pretty close by. Solomon could have called us, had us stop by…”

  Phil momentarily closed his eyes. That was a fair point. Which meant… it had probably happened. The shadow game between Yugi and Pegasus had found its victor. No matter how many times Phil had agonized over it and gone back and forth with not only himself, but even Lumina over whether or not to break canon to warn Yugi, he still felt like dogshit about it.

  "Dunno." Phil finally forced out. His mood had turned somewhat sour after that realization. "We should pack. I heard this should last for a couple of days. Can't expect some asshole millionaire to make sure we have food on his shithole of an island, either. Uh, off the top of my head, we'll need some food, camping gear, and something to make a fire with. We should probably call up the others, make sure they do some prep work too."

  "Already on it." Jean leaned over to pick the room's phone off the receiver, twirling the cord around his finger while it rang. "Bonjour, this is Monsieur Jean. Is this the Muto residence? Yes. Oh, good morning, Mademoiselle Muto! Is the short one there? No? Yes, Phil did request I call him ‘the short one’. I’ll pass that on. Well, could you let him and his friends know to pack for that tournament of theirs like it was a camping trip? Because it will be. Perfect. Oh, and thanks for sending the wedding cake, Tilla loved it!”

  Jean set the phone back down. “He wasn’t available, but his mom should pass on the message. She also says if she ever hears you call Yugi 'the short one', she'll belt you with a frying pan. She was laughing while she said it but I still wouldn't test her."

  Phil gave a lazy, two-finger salute. "Noted, Captain. I'll make sure to do it out of her earshot. The kid needs some good-natured teasing in his life.”

  “Also Ms. Muto says you should hurry up and find a good wife. Apparently, if you shave your beard, cut your hair, and look presentable for once in your life, you should have a good chance. If you don’t have a set of decent clothes you can borrow some of Solomon’s old shirts from back in his youth. Her words, not mine.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  "Damn she is a gem, caring about some random scruffy rascal like me.”

  “Yes. Like Tilla, she makes the world brighter by existing!”

  "She say anything else?"

  Jean shrugged. "No, not really, though on second thought, her voice did sound a little bit worried."

  "Right." Phil leaned against the wall and knocked the back of his head softly against it. "You know, she's probably just concerned about the tournament. You know, her boy's going off on a private island for a few days with a bunch of strangers. Not many parents would be cool with that."

  Jean could only shrug in response to that.

  -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

  Phil took a deep breath as he glanced around the crowded waiting room for familiar faces. It was finally here. Duelist Kingdom. The invitation was received and preparations were made. Now he was here, in a waiting room located in the Domino City Harbor, whiling away the time until the ferry arrived. Yugi hadn’t shown up yet. That was alright, though. Phil was still preparing himself to act naturally in front of the kid. The words ‘it will work out alright’ spun through his head over and over. Of course it would be alright. Solomon wouldn’t be in pain and Atem has more than enough skill to resolve the issue. All Phil needed to do was rack up some fame in the prelim round, make sure not to take too many star chips, and then exit to stage right so Yugi could drop Pegasus to get Solomon, Kaiba, and Mokuba back to normal.

  Easy does it.

  Phil’s eyes flicked past a woman with long, spiky blonde hair. Mai Valentine. If his memory was correct, she was still a major asshole by this point in time. No sense in striking up a conversation, if Mai would even bother talking to a guy like him in the first place. She’d chill out after losing to Joey and finding a little sister figure in Serinity Wheeler. Past her in a corner, he could see Rex Raptor bragging to a bunch of nameless duelists. The kid still wore his signature red hat and green jacket. That’s right. He’d get a partial ego check against Mai on the ferry ride, and then get the other part handed to him by Joey. He still looked rough and ready to rumble, like a dinosaur stomping toward its prey.

  Phil’s gaze continued to sweep around the bland white waiting room. There wasn’t even a single attempt at decoration in any part of the room, not even a vase of wilted flowers or a cheap painting hanging on its lonesome on the wall.

  Past Rex was Weevil Underwood with his round yellow glasses, sneering at everyone else from where he was leaning against the door leading to the docks. He truly did look like a sleazy beetle given human form. The kid was certainly no slouch at dueling, but Phil still had a hard time holding in chuckles when Weevil turned and he could see how the glasses magnified Weevil’s eyes. Even that looked bug-like.

  Jean was at the counter making sure their tickets were all proper and the like. It was something Phil could have done himself if not for Jean volunteering to get more practice with his Japanese. For once Tilla wasn’t next to him, having skipped out of Duelist Kingdom with the excuse of having a different tournament with Reiko and the rest of the Duel Professors to participate in.

  Which meant, of course, this was a lad’s trip. Phil’s mouth curled into a smile at the thought. Sure, Tilla was fun to be around, but it was also nice to have an adventure with just him and Jean again. Oh, and Lumina too. Which technically meant this wasn’t a lad’s trip, but fuck technicalities. Lumina counted as an honorary lad. She’d earned that right several times over with the amount of times she’d saved his ass.

  “All sorted.” Jean was back at Phil's side before Phil even realized it. Two ferry tickets were clutched in one of his hands, while the other kept a firm grip on his ratty deck box.

  Phil wordlessly accepted one of the tickets. 8 a.m., from Domino City to Duelist Kingdom. Heh. He'd forgotten Pegasus had literally named his private island 'Duelist Kingdom'.

  “Look at them all.” Jean nodded his head toward the rest of the people in the waiting room. “Ready to up and piss themselves out of nerves.”

  It was true. Other than a small handful of exceptions (most of those being named duelists from the manga), most of the duelists were visibly nervous. They bit at fingernails, twisted their hair, and loudly spoke with each other about what they might be about to see. Then there were the aforementioned ‘named duelists’. Those were stoic. Calm. Centered and experienced duelists who couldn’t be easily fazed.

  And on a wooden bench near the corner, opposite where Rex Raptor still sat bragging to a horde of sycophants, there was a bird. The sight wasn’t particularly odd at first. It was a long-legged bird of some sort. Its plumage was a fine mix of black and white, and its beak looked sharp enough to puncture through a sheet of steel. However, the greatest oddity about the bird, aside from how patiently it was waiting inside a room full of humans as if it too was hoping to seek passage on the ferry, was its feet. The feet of the long-legged bird were enclosed in a pair of dainty little red boots.

  The bird wore those boots as if it were natural to do so. Then, the longer Phil stared at the bird, the odder it seemed past its initial appearance. A leather satchel hung around the bird's neck, with the bottom of the satchel tucked neatly under its left wing like that of a postman. The leather was remarkably well-worn, but overall it looked to be quite well cared for. And the strangest thing of all was that no one else in the room seemed to notice the bird.

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Phil tugged at Jean's arm. "Bird with shoes at 2 o'clock."

  Jean’s eyes roved around. Eventually, after passing over the bird several times, Jean’s eyebrows raised in mild surprise.

  “Sacre Bleu! A stork with shoes!”

  A stork?

  “I like to go birdwatching sometimes. Free entertainment, you see.” Jean casually explained, and then his expression turned slightly more serious. “How did I not see that bird earlier? I looked in that direction multiple times, but only when I stared so hard it felt like my eyeballs were about to pop out, did it appear!”

  “Look at its little booties!” Lumina cracked up. “What a strange fellow!”

  “Come Jean, we must investigate this gentlemanly bird further!” Phil said. Jean nodded in eager agreement, and the two, with Lumina in tow, walked quickly over to the bird. A stork with red boots that hardly seemed bothered by the crowd at all was the perfect distraction to while away the time between now and the ferry’s arrival.

  “Wassup!” Phil called out.

  The stork glanced over with a grim look in its eye.

  “Krrkrrk! Two man-creatures. Speak your part and begone.” It ruffled its feathers to further accentuate its displeasure.

  Phil and Jean shared a look. “He speaks!” They said in unison.

  “Man-creatures are surprised?” The stork spat.

  “Oh, you know,” Phil held out his hands in a calming gesture, “We’re just two ordinary fellas who’ve never seen a talking bird before. Didn’t know there were any at all. Sorry mate.”

  “Krkrk. What man-creatures do not know could fill an entire book! An eight-volume piece of which the author died midway and was later finished by a much less talented person to a rather mediocre reception from the rest of the world! Rude man-creatures! To not even give your names to this noble bird! Who! I say, who are you to stand before me, man-creatures?”

  Phil blinked, taken aback. One part of him wanted to reply with the snark level turned up to the maximum for how much of a dick the stork was being. The other part of him was internally doing cartwheels while screaming ‘A bird! A bird! A talking bird!’. Somehow in a world of magic and duel spirits, a talking bird was still an exciting discovery.

  The cartwheel part won out. Phil bowed at the same time Jean did.

  “Phillip Jenson, at your service.”

  “Jean Dubois, at your service, monsieur.”

  The stork clicked its tongue and then began to speak in a rather strange, rhythmic manner. “I, am a stork, with a fork, who likes to eat pork, and hails from York." With each rhyming word, its head bobbed to the right and the left. “Man-creature Phillip Jenson, man-creature Jean Dubois, this stork is known to many as Kounotori Tori. At your service.”

  Jean’s eyes were filled with sparkles when he came out of his bow. Phil knew his eyes were probably the same. A rhyming stork! Immediately Phil forgave the bird for being an asshole.

  "You can just call me Phil," Phil said out of habit. "So, Kounotori, are you here for Duelist Kingdom too?”

  “Indeed that is the case.” Kounotori replied in clipped tones, though his words were not quite as harsh now that the introductions were made. “This stork has business to attend to on the island, man-creature Phil.”

  “The tournament?”

  Kounotori simply nodded, seemingly disinterested in elaborating further.

  Any further questions from Phil or Jean were put on hold by the appearance of Yugi and his friends. Phil immediately stepped over to say hi, even as Lumina continued to laugh at the strange and comical sight of the red-booted stork.

  “He’s got those little booties! Hahaha! Look at him go!”

  “Mornin’ gents, lady.” Phil said, speaking slightly louder even though he knew they couldn’t hear Lumina’s laughter unless she wanted them to.

  “Good morning Phil.” Yugi replied. As expected, his face was drawn tight. Similar looks of worry were spread across the faces of Tea, Joey, and Tristan. "Are you here for the tournament? Mom thought you might be."

  Phil nodded, quickly glancing them over before he replied. Good. Yugi’s mom had passed on his message. Both Joey and Tristan had large, chunky backpacks strapped to their backs, doubtlessly filled with food and sleeping supplies. Hopefully. Hopefully they weren’t just filled with crap. Phil checked the straps of his own backpack almost habitually. In it was a large amount of cheap food, some sturdy tarps borrowed from Reiko, and two sets of flint and steel.

  “Gotta rep Kame Game. Check this out!” Phil slid off his backpack and turned around to show his back. There was no tattoo on his back, like he had jokingly offered, but wrapped around Phil was a black jacket given to him by Solomon. It had a turtle shell, the logo of Kame Game, stitched onto the back in an amateur but overall well-done job apparently done by Yugi’s mother. As this was before the age of the Internet, that was just about the only way to get a piece of clothing custom-made, unless one had connections with a professional.

  The look of the jacket was at complete odds with the rest of Phil’s appearance, which was still rather hobo-like in nature despite the fact that he was no longer living under the bridge and hadn’t been for several months by now. Even his beard was still long and scraggly, reaching down to the middle of his chest, and his hair was equally untamed. The rest of him had cleaned up nicely, though, mainly due to Lumina’s insistence that she wasn’t going to be roommates with a crackhead.

  Finally, a smile spread across Yugi's face in response to Phil’s antics. Then, as quickly as it arrived, the smile disappeared. “That looks cool. I hope… grandpa can see it soon.”

  Phil let out a soft, instinctual sigh. Before he even realized it, his hand was on top of the short boy’s head, roughly ruffling away at Yugi’s hair.

  “You’ll save him. I know you will. Hell, with how smart Solomon is, I half expect him to figure out a solution himself before you even get to the semi-finals.”

  “You know? How?” Yugi let out a shocked yelp. Joey and Tea both gave Phil equally surprised looks, though Tristan was far too focused on watching the ferry arrival time board to notice the change in atmosphere.

  Phil shrugged. “Remember what I said? I know things. It’s what I do. Don’t worry. I’ll do what I can to help and I don’t care about the prize. I owe the old man big time. He got me the invite for this, you know. For Jean too. Don’t know how the hell he did, but he did.” Phil did not fail to notice the poorly concealed sigh of relief that came from Joey after saying he wasn’t particularly interested in the prize.

  “…Thanks. Really. Thank you, Phil.” Yugi said after a moment, accompanied by a brilliantly shining smile from Tea. Phil gave Yugi’s spiky hair one last extremely rough ruffling before jerking his head toward the arrival time board.

  “Ferry’s almost here. How about we queue up? Oh, and watch out for the stork. He’s not as much as an ass as he first appears to be, but he might try to skewer you with that beak of his if you bump into him by accident.”

  “Wait there’s a bird wearing boots over there Yuges! It’s a freaking bird! I looked right past it! How did I not see it? It’s like one moment nothing was there, and then BOOM! Bird!” Joey yelped out in surprise.

  His voice, while loud enough to catch Tristan’s attention, was nowhere near loud enough to cut through the din filling the room.

  “Woah!” Tristan quickly became filled with a similar level of excitement. “Check out that beak! And its knees! Those are weird knees. Are they backwards? Is that normal?”

  “Should we… call someone? Animal control, maybe?” Tea shot a hesitant look over to Phil, who waved his hand through the air reassuringly.

  “Nah. His name’s Kounotori Tori. Bit of a dick, but honestly not too bad once you get to know him.”

  “You… talked to the bird. Of course you did.” Somehow, although Tea was looking at him oddly, she didn’t seem all too surprised that Phil claimed he’d spoken to the stork.

  “The stork, yes. He is not much of a conversationalist, but he is at least polite enough to answer a guy’s honest questions.” Jean helpfully supplied.

  Tea took a moment to process that. She didn’t seem certain if Phil and Jean were joking or serious, but eventually Tea just appeared to accept the situation as it was. “Yes. Okay. Sorry. The stork. I will remember that tip, Jean.”

  “Jean likes birdwatching. He’s got that shit down.” Phil followed up. Then, with a grin upon seeing the worry in Yugi’s face partially ease up from the unexpectedly comedic situation, he wrapped his arms around Yugi’s and Tea’s shoulders, while Jean did the same for Joey and Tristan, and together they led the group of teens toward the docked ferry.

  There was already a line snaking from the gangplank, down the dock, and back into the waiting room, so it was almost twenty minutes before Phil and the rest finally reached the ferry.

  “Name, purpose, and ticket please.” The blue-uniformed man in front of the gangplank said in a bored monotone.

  “Phillip Jenson, Kame Game promoter. Oh, and rescue mission volunteer. You should shop at Kame Game if you're in the area, by the way. It’s got good deals on all sorts of hobby stuff.”

  “Jean Dubois, professional Frenchman and rescue mission volunteer. Ditto what Phil said. You won’t regret it.”

  “Lumina, chaperone to two idiots. Oh. Right. You can’t hear me, Mr. Ferry Man. Phil, I meant those words, of course.” Lumina said in a teasing voice.

  “Yugi Muto… rescue mission, I guess…”

  “Joey Wheeler, rescue mission! Oh, and I’m gonna win this tournament, just you wait!”

  “Tristan Taylor… uh… rescue mission and… moral support I guess?”

  “Tea Gardner, rescue mission!”

  “…Ryou Bakura… sorry. I was in the bathroom. I think I ate something bad for breakfast. Rescue mission as well?”

  Phil gave a double-take as he walked up the gangplank after the ferryman punched a hole through his ticket. There was a Millennium Item around Bakura's neck. Fuck. And… yeah. Bakura's eyes looked extra dead inside. Was that normal, or could he assume Yami Bakura was at least partially in the driver’s seat by now? He knew by the time of Battle City, at least, Yami Bakura was practically in full control. But now? It was difficult to make an accurate guess.

  That complicated things. To his memory, Yami Bakura didn't do much in Duelist Kingdom other than kill a few guards by bringing a card to life and then scooping out Pegasus's Millennium Eye around the very end. Should he… take care of things?

  No. Bakura’s shenanigans were needed to uncover Atem’s name and who knew what would happen if Phil confronted him. Especially considering Yami Bakura could be considered as a soul that was a mix between the Thief King Bakura and a shard of Zorc Necrophades. Meaning things could get tricky if Bakura was cornered.

  He just had to… yeah. Phil just needed to keep a spare eye on the kid whenever possible to make sure no one got iced. That meant the list was roughly made up of… promote Kami Game with as solid of a win record as he could without fucking up the semi-finals and beyond, back up Yugi if he needed it, get his love guru magic going with Lumina to get Yugi and Tea closer, make sure Yami Bakura didn’t murder anyone, get a glove for Jean, and make sure to not accidently butterfly effect anything bad into existence.

  Phil shook his head and turned his attention back to climbing up the ferry. Sheesh. It felt like his list was growing by the minute.

  “Krkrkrk. Kounotori Tori. Vengeance.”

  “A bird?!?! It talks! Animal control! Someone call animal control!" The ferryman shouted in alarm, swiftly followed by the enraged shouts of Kounotori.

  “Stork! A stork! Do you have a problem with that, man-creature? Have you ever seen a talking stork before, man-creature? You should open your eyes, man-creature, before I open them for you with my beak! I will crush them like grapes! Like grapes! Stupid, stupid man-creature!” Each screeching word was followed by a threatening flap of the stork’s wings and a ruffling of its feathers.

  "Yes, of course, sir. No need for unpleasantness! Please, step on the ferry." The ferryman quickly stepped aside with a bow, his shoulders shaking in fear as Kounotori loomed over him clacking his beak threateningly.

  “Hmph. No, not a man-creature. You are not one indeed. No, you are a slug-creature. An even lower life form than a man-creature. I shall remember this slight, slug-creature. A slug-creature, worth less than the worms in the dirt. Krkrk!”

  “Awww, look at it! The stork’s bobbing its little head when it walks!” Lumina cried out with her hands held up to her mouth. “It’s bobbing its head with its little red booties and aw it’s so murderously adorable!”

  For the life of him, Phil couldn’t fully understand what the hell Lumina was on about. Sure, it was wearing boots. But its beak looked like it could cut Phil by just glancing at it like one of those tropes in a martial-arts novel.

  “You know if he heard you, he’d probably go for your jugular…” Phil whispered, amused in the face of her excitement.

  “Bah.” Lumina made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "I could beat that guy in a fight. I'd turn him into a nice feathered hat and feed the rest to the big guy."

  Phil could believe that.

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