“You’re insane…”
Those words lingered in the air like a bad omen. They were the only outward indicator of the denial rushing through Maximillion Pegasus’s mind. This world was a world of magic and monsters. A world of the Millennium Items, of long-dead mages, cults, spirits, and more. Yet even in that world, nothing Pegasus saw inside the head of Phillip Jenson was possible.
Denial.
It continued to rule Pegasus’s thoughts. Phillip Jenson was insane. Delusional. Nothing in that man’s memories or thoughts could be trusted, other than the vague sense that he truly meant no harm. That somehow was almost as ridiculous as everything else Pegasus saw through the eye. Even that sense was partially influenced by what Pegasus had seen of the man’s actions throughout the tournament. Otherwise, Pegasus would have had a difficult time trusting that feeling as well.
“Naw mate, I’d say I’m pretty much one-hundred-percent certified sane.” The madman replied, pausing only to flip off a patch of empty air right next to him. Phillip did not seem to realize that a madman most certainly would deny their own insanity.
Denial.
For the first time… ever, Maximillion Pegasus found himself unable to trust what he saw through the Millennium Eye. Yet, what was this smile tugging at his face? Was it an unintended response to finding out this mage, as mad as he appeared to be, was one who posed no harm to him or the other guests of his castle? Or was it the duel – a close one at that?
No. Those were factors, but not the entire story.
Denial.
That was right. How long had it been since he’d dueled without using the Eye? For the first time in a very long time, Pegasus found himself without the knowledge of what would come next. How could he? The thoughts of his opponent continued to float before his gaze, but how could they be trusted?
The golden light faded from under the curtain of silver hair obscuring the Millennium Eye. The smile tugging at Pegasus’s lips grew ever wider.
“My my~, what a strange game this is~,” Pegasus’s voice slipped back into its usual habitual playfulness. The man before him did not serve the Sons of Kul Elna. He was guilty of no more than a case of self-defense and stealing from Maximillion Pegasus. With that knowledge, what reason did he have to remain oh so exhaustingly serious? He would test this man. If Phillip was found lacking, his soul would be forfeit. And if not… then there was no need to pay further attention to him. Pegasus had far more pressing issues to bother with than simple thievery.
“I draw~.”
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
“He thinks you’re a loon! He might have a point!” Lumina cackled, doubling over with her arms crossed from the force of her laughter. Phil flipped her off.
But Phil knew he wasn’t crazy. A little bit weird? Sure. Knew some stuff that he shouldn’t know? Definitely. And that was probably the crux of it all. When Pegasus took a peep into his noggin, he’d likely seen everything. The accumulation of several lives lived, unknowable sights seen, and the knowledge that this was a television show. Of course he would think Phil was insane. If their places were traded, Phil would think Phil was insane.
Golden light no longer poured out from under Pegasus’s hair. Did that mean he had abandoned the use of the Millennium Eye? It would make sense. Pegasus thought Phil to be insane, and there was little use in plumbing the mind of a madman for sane thoughts that could be used to grasp the future of the duel.
Then there was the man’s manner of speech. His voice had changed from deadly serious to the usual playful tone Phil heard him use during the announcements and in the anime before shit got serious with Yugi. His words were drawn out, a smile tugged at his lips, and even the look in his eye was no longer a dangerous one.
“Oh~ look at this!” Pegasus joyfully shouted out, revealing a familiar monster card in his hand. “I seem to still have Toon Gemini Elf (1900/900) in my hand~! Come on out, girls!”
Once more the twin cartoon elves took the field, one of them blowing a kiss toward Phil as they did. Phil swayed to the side to avoid the invisible missile. Only this time, as if they sensed their master's will, the actions of the twin elves appeared far more lighthearted and playful, unlike before, when there had been a sense of malice partially hidden in their eyes.
“That being said~, they still can’t attack the turn they’re summoned, Gravity Bind or no. So!” Pegasus revealed a second monster card in his hand. “Allow me to make my field a little bit funnier! I still have four Sheep Tokens on my side! By sacrificing one, I can special summon Toon Summoned Skull (2500/1200) from my hand in attack mode!”
Phil let out a whistle of appreciation. “Nice, that sidesteps the little ‘cannot be used for a tribute summon’ caveat the Sheep Tokens have, since that ain’t a tribute summon.”
“Precisely~.”
Pegasus looked at the green ropes covering his elves and the cartoonish, almost maddened skeleton demon on his field. He looked as if he was about to say something, only to find his own unspoken words to be amusing enough to giggle internally over.
“My my~,” Pegasus repeated, and then his next words set Phil off in laughter as well. “I don’t think I have any way to destroy that trap card yet. I’ll pass my turn~ to you, you devilish rogue~.”
In all reality, Gravity Bind hardly mattered for that turn. Phil knew full well neither of the Toon monsters were the rare Toons that could actually attack on the turn they were summoned. To his memory, the only ones that lacked that weakness were Toon Dark Magician Girl and Toon Black Luster Soldier (which wouldn’t even be out yet). There was also Toon Alligator, he supposed, but that one hardly counted since it was a normal monster, therefore possessing no effect at all.
“Draw. I got me a nice copy of Swords of Revealing Light.” Phil continued to announce his draw to the world, but Pegasus no longer reacted to his words, other than to keep that same amused smile on his face.
At the very least, Pegasus appeared intent on sticking with the Toon side of his deck, both a boon and an annoyance. Thousand-Eyes Restrict would be a pain in the ass to deal with, but with Light of Intervention up, Phil was heavily restricted in what he could do to deal with the Toons.
It was funny, in a way. P.A.C.M.A.N. was his 'shit just hit the fan' deck, and his first opponent with it managed to have one of the best cards to counter it just lying around. Perhaps he should have expected that, considering Pegasus had created the game in its current form.
Still, it kind of sucked that the game for Phil was in a ‘draw Mystical Space Typhoon or bust’ state. That was the case for both players, it seemed.
“I’ll swap my Golem Sentry to defense position. Turn end.” Phil calmly declared.
"That brings it back to me, Phil-boy~. And while I still cannot defeat your Gravity Bind, allow me to shore up my defenses a little more! I activate Magic Reflector! This card allows me to target one face-up spell I control to place a counter on! If you try to destroy that card whilst the counter remains on it, I’m afraid the counter will be destroyed in its place~.”
The target was obvious. A shimmering purple barrier formed around the floating magical book titled ‘Toon World’.
“The rodeo returns to you!” Pegasus cheerfully ended his turn.
Phil’s eyes flicked over to the new addition to his hand as he drew a card. “Here we go! Here’s the fucking gas! Pot of Greed! What does it dooooo!!!”
“It lets you draw two cards~,” Pegasus replied with a chortle of laughter.
“That it do! Then here’s the double, here’s the trouble! First off, Mystical Space Typhoon! Get that Light of Intervention off of my board! Then I’ll set a monster in face-down defense position, use Golem Sentry’s effect to flip itself back face-down, and pass my turn.”
Once the raging storm of Phil’s fully dispersed the rays of light beaming down onto the field, Pegasus’s turn began with similar fanfare as Phil’s had.
“Poor me~, staring down two reusable flip monsters~… if not for this!” Pegasus mockingly responded. “The spell card, Mimicat! As I control both Toon World and a Toon monster, I can steal your Pot of Greed from your graveyard to set on my field!”
A cartoonish black cat sprang out from the pages of Toon World, pausing long enough to let out an exaggerated snicker before its thieving little claws reached into Phil’s graveyard to withdraw a certain spell card. Then, to Phil’s repeated cries of ‘what does it do!?!?!’, Pegasus flipped his ill-gotten spell card over to activate it.
“Draw two! Then, I activate a Mystical Space Typhoon of my own! The target is Gravity Bind!”
At that, Phil had no response. Just like it had the turn prior, a massive watery typhoon tore through the green ropes strewn across the field to scatter them beyond recognition, freeing both of Pegasus’s monsters from their bindings.
“Battle phase.” Those words, while seeming lighthearted, still dripped with a certain amount of cartoonish malice, enough so that Phil flipped over his face-down trap card with a grimace.
“Not on my watch. I activate my trap, Threatening Roar! You cannot declare an attack this turn!”
Just as Pegasus’s two cartoonish monsters were about to leap forward sporting bloodthirsty grins, a massive shockwave burst out from Phil’s side of the field that left them cowering on the floor, fearful of an attack that never came. The millionaire placed a card face-down and passed his turn with an annoyed, yet still jaunty (if not a little bit mocking), flick of his hair.
"Draw!" Phil shouted, and with a look at the card, burst out in a fit of evil laughter before slamming it down onto the field. "Continuous spell card, Level Limit – Area B! All level four and higher monsters on the field will be stuck in defense position so long as this card remains active!”
Immediately replacing the fading green ropes was a line of spotlights, all shining on a giant letter ‘B’ that covered the floor so that the rather nice-looking Persian rug under their feet was utterly obscured. Both of the Toon monsters were forced into defensive postures, scowling at the offensive letter of the alphabet as if it had personally paralyzed their mothers in a drunk driving accident, was let off by the judge with only a slap on the wrist, and was currently busy urinating on the graves of their dearly departed grandmothers. A criminal most heinous, by all accounts.
“You’d better hope that rug isn’t damaged!” Pegasus mockingly shook his fist at the sight. “It’s worth several million dollars, I’ll have you know~!”
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
“Fuck you Pegasus, you're callin' me crazy, but you're worried about a rug?!?! I swear I’m not crazy! I’m not!” Phil cried out with an equal amount of mockery.
“Several million dollars?” Jean leaned forward in his chair, his fingers steepled as he stared at the rug in deep contemplation. His words caused Phil’s head to snap around to face him.
"Several million dollars." Phil echoed. He looked back at Pegasus. "American dollars?"
“Indeed~, but good luck carrying it out~. It is quite heavy. That is, if you can defeat me first~.”
His words spoke of the undeniable truth. The rug was extremely large, big enough to cover almost the entire floor of the room. Would two men be able to successfully remove it from the castle with enough time to spare before the tournament ended? Then there was the logistics of taking it to the dock.
No. The rug was definitely not worth it. Phil signaled his exact thoughts on the matter by shaking his head mournfully at Jean.
“No rug. And for defeating you, unless you can crack my Level Limit, I’d say things are looking pretty Phil so far! With a flip and a flop, here’s my flip-summoned monster Swarm of Locusts (1000/500)! Its effect is simple – each time it’s successfully flip summoned, I get to blow up a spell or trap card you control. Locusts, take a bite out of Pegasus’s funny little cartoon book!”
A swarm of brown locusts tore through the air, the cloud of insects being so thick that the room appeared almost as if it were filled with a sort of living mud. The locusts converged on the target in question – Toon World. The book was still surrounded by a shimmering purple shield. As the swarm came closer, their wings began to smoke, causing large clumps of the locusts to drop to the ground dead. Still, the damage was done. By the time the final locust finished slamming against the book, its barrier was gone. Toon World was defended no longer.
The removal of the counter on Toon World was not all that interested Phil, however. When he had originally set Swarm of Locusts face-down on the field, he’d purposely avoided announcing the name of the card, just to test the waters a bit. There was no more golden light emanating from Pegasus’s eye, and the man clearly thought Phil to be insane, so had he actually abandoned his main mind-reading gimmick for the time being?
It was a possibility. Pegasus had one hell of a poker face for sure, but even he couldn’t hide everything. There was a tightness around his eyes, one that had come into being after seeing Swarm of Locusts flipped face-up. Was that surprise that it was Swarm of Locusts, or irritation that Pegasus knew he couldn’t do jack shit to stop it at this moment?
“I’ll flip my Golem Sentry face-up, using its effect to bounce your Toon Summoned Skull back to your hand. Battle phase, Swarm of Locusts will destroy one of your Sheep Tokens! Since it’s level three, it can sidestep the effect of my Level Limit – Area B.”
Once the locusts devoured one of the screaming multicolored sheep, Phil continued without missing a beat. Mind reading or no, the game still trundled forward. “Then I’ll finish things off in my second main phase by using the secondary effects of both my monsters to flip themselves back to face-down defense position. Next turn…” Phil shot an imaginary bullet from a finger gun toward Toon World, “That fella’s going bye-bye.”
“Such confidence~” Pegasus sneered back as Phil ended his turn, “because if it doesn’t, you may find yourself living in much~ smaller quarters soon.”
A card was played after only the slightest glance.
“Graceful Charity~.” Pegasus joyfully declared. “It allows me to draw three, and then discard two cards from my hand! My choices to discard are my lovely Thousand-Eyes Idol and the always beautiful Toon Mermaid! I'm afraid to say neither is useful right now, but this other card of mine certainly is! But first, an intermission. Yes, that’s right! Here’s my old friend~, Toon Summoned Skull (2500/1200)! By sacrificing another Sheep Token, I can summon it to the field.”
Pegasus clapped his hands as if he were signaling something.
“Intermission over~! Say goodbye to Toon Summoned Skull and Toon Gemini Elf! By sacrificing both of my monsters, I tribute summon Toon Barrel Dragon (2600/2200)! Now, I know what you’re thinking~. Pegasus, you dashing multi-millionaire, what use is a funny copy of a dead man’s card when it still gets switched to defense position by a wittle bitty continuous spell? Oh the horror, oh the humanity~!”
Even as Pegasus spoke in a jaunty tone, the light in his eye had turned slightly dangerous once more.
“Well, Phil-boy, you seem rather knowledgeable about the game. Therefore, you must know the effect of Bandit Keith’s ace monster. Well, allow me to reassure you – Toon Barrel Dragon does indeed possess that same effect! Gimme a coin toss and make it funny, because your target is the face-down Swarm of Locusts!”
The room was silent as each and every living soul within waited with bated breath. To successfully destroy Phil’s Swarm of Locusts, at least two of the results needed to be heads. Would Toon Barrel Dragon succeed in, as Pegasus requested, ‘making it funny’?
It did not.
As cartoonish as the machine monster was, with bright purple and teal paint coloring three different toy pistol barrels, all it did was vomit out a coin from its fanged mouth, precariously balance the circular metal object on the end of one of its barrels, and with a clumsy motion repeated three times in a row, swung the barrel upward to send the coin soaring into the air.
Heads.
The coin arced through the air.
Tails.
The cartoonish machine paused, letting a drop of sweat drip down the side of its metallic face, and, with lips pursed and eyes narrowed in concentration, the coin arced through the air for a third time.
Tails.
Toon Barrel Dragon sank to its little knobby knees in pure and abject despair. But the situation quickly became all the more dire. As Toon Barrel Dragon sobbed, wailed, and beat at its chest with the ends of its revolver arms, the final remaining Sheep Token ambled over to hand deliver the cartoon beast a letter. As clumsily as it had flipped the coin, Toon Barrel Dragon opened the letter, only to let out another scream of pure hopelessness normally reserved for times such as a stock market crash, having a house suddenly foreclosed, or seeing a close relative pass away.
"Oh dear~," Pegasus remarked as the Sheep Token gently took the letter from the Toon's gun arm to reveal its contents to the rest of the world. “My deepest condolences on your wife leaving you for failing the coin flip.”
Toon Barrel Dragon, in a very clumsy fashion, began to slam its head against the expensive rug.
“Very well,” Pegasus sighed dramatically, “I place one card face-down and end my turn.”
Golem Sentry was flipped over by Phil as soon as his turn began.
“Bounce the Toon Barrel Dragon back to your hand.” Phil announced with a grin. Swarm of Locusts was next, the buzzing ball of bugs tearing through Toon World to finally destroy the book.
“Now. Swarm, attack! Destroy the final Sheep Token.”
As soon as the tattered cover of Toon World fell to the ground, the ever-hungry swarm made a sharp right turn to tear through the last multi-colored Sheep Token like a chainsaw through wood, albeit accompanied by the sound of the sheep screaming in horror as it was eaten alive.
“Main two, I’ll reset my Locusts and Golem, place a card face-down, and pass turn.”
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Pegasus clicked his tongue. As much as he disliked admitting, the man before him was quite the powerful duelist. Still, it was his own fault, really, for stubbornly sticking with his main Toon lineup instead of opening the floodgates for his Relinquished to take the field. Frankly, he'd considered it, but after a moment’s hesitation, he’d declined. At the end of the day, this duel was only one of many. Even if Relinquished clinched the victory (which was still up for debate if it could) and allowed Pegasus to seal Phillip within a card, there was still one more observer in the room – the Frenchman, Jean Dubois. If he fled and alerted Yugi Muto of the true monster sleeping within Pegasus’s deck, then the final duel of the following day would get all the more… iffy. Much too iffy for his taste.
No. He would greatly prefer a few tricks to be left unknown to the others.
It was, from his point of view, a necessary sacrifice. Holding back a hair in this duel so as to benefit in the next. And if Phillip did win… well, so long as Cecelia could return, Pegasus cared not a whit what happened to his possessions. Gold, Jewelry, precious stones, confidential documents, all of that was like the dirt underneath his shoes. What was wealth, what were possessions, without her? Nothing. That was what they were. Nothing.
Cecelia was all that mattered.
“Draw~! Heavy Storm!”
He never left home without it. Or in this case, without three copies. But as quick as Pegasus was to activate the powerful spell card, Phil was more than capable of matching him.
“We’ve already done this rodeo, mate! You’ve got your Heavy Storm, looks like a full playset, too! But you know what? Fuck you! Solemn Judgment! I’ve got a whole playset too!”
For a second time, Heavy Storm was stopped right in its tracks by the most powerful counter-trap card in the game – Solemn Judgment. A card that allowed the user to negate almost anything in return for sacrificing half their current life point total.
Phil: 1000 Pegasus: 3000
The howling winds died down. Another failed attempt at clearing away the continuous spell card acting like shackles around Pegasus’s legs had passed.
At this rate… he might actually lose. The thought brought a mocking smile to Pegasus’s face. Though the outcome of the game hardly mattered now that he was sure Phillip had no ties with the Sons of Kul Elna, the thought was like a thorn to his pride.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
One step away from death. Or in this case, one step away from being carded. Phil knew he was walking a fine line. The second Pegasus found an out to his Level Limit that he couldn’t immediately answer, that was the very second Phil was, as they said in the biz, completely and utterly fucked. It was his turn. Phil drew a card. Nothing crazy, but it didn't need to be. P.A.C.M.A.N. was a deck that dealt a death by a thousand cuts. The game would never end in a single turn unless it was Phil on the losing end.
“I flip up my Locusts! Their target to destroy is your face-down!” Phil called out.
“Then allow me~!” Pegasus replied with equal vigor. “In response, here’s my face-down, Book of Moon! You go ahead and set your monster back the way it was!”
Phil snorted. “Hardly matters. I suppose since you don’t have any monsters, and Golem Sentry is a level four, I’ll just set a face-down card and pass.”
Pegasus’s turn began. Unlike before, there were no dramatic moves. He simply passed his turn. Phil had expected that. Without having a way to deal with his Golem Sentry + Swarm of Locusts + Level Limit – Area B combo, there was absolutely zero point in summoning a monster or setting a trap (unless, of course, those could be used to deal with said combo).
“Draw! I’ll flip up my Locusts and go to the battle phase. Locusts, attack directly!”
The screeching bugs bombarded Pegasus’s life points, tearing a nice chunk out of them to leave him at exactly half.
Phil: 1000 Pegasus: 2000
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Death by a thousand cuts, Pegasus sneered to himself in his mind. Inelegant but efficient. He drew a card. “Pot of Greed!” He declared, to Phillip’s obvious irritation. This time the man did not shout, 'What does it do!'. Two more cards were added to his hand. Then, Pegasus revealed another spell card.
"Monster Reincarnation activates! By discarding my Toon Barrel Dragon, I can take my Toon Gemini Elf from the graveyard back to my hand. Then, allow me to show you another reason why Toon Barrel Dragon is a little bit different~. See, it's one of the few Toon monsters that does not need Toon World on the field to be summoned! I activate Premature Burial! By paying 800 life points, this equip card allows me to resurrect Toon Barrel Dragon from the graveyard! Of course, it does get switched to defense position, but I still will activate its effect. Toss those coins, dragon-boy, because I need that Level Limit gone!”
A coin was once more tossed into the air by a pair of clumsy gun arms.
Tails.
A bead of sweat collected on Toon Barrel Dragon’s brow.
Heads.
Toon Barrel Dragon licked its lips. Its eyes darted to a cartoon can of beer lying by its feet. It was so very thirsty. It had never been thirstier before in its short cartoonish life.
Heads.
Toon Barrel Dragon jumped into the air with a scream of victory, finally able to forget for a few precious seconds that its wife was never coming back.
Phil let out a series of explosive swears that would cause a sailor to blush in shame as the giant ‘B’ on the floor was blasted apart in drunken celebration by Pegasus’s monster.
"Now, I know~ what you're thinking~, it isn't over yet. Toon Barrel Dragon cannot attack on the turn it's summoned, nor can this familiar card! Ladies, take the field once more! I summon Toon Gemini Elf (1900/900)! Then, one card face down, and that's my turn~!”
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Back to square one it was. Phil looked the field up and down. Pegasus had two monsters. He had two as well.
And then he grinned.
"Sucks for you! Sure, you killed my floodgate, but I still have two very important cards. Number one, come on out, Swarm of Locusts! Use your effect to destroy Premature Burial!”
It was a fact that if the equip spell, Premature Burial, was destroyed, then the monster summoned by it would bite the dust as well. Thus, Toon Barrel Dragon faded back into the afterlife.
"Number two, here's Golem Sentry! Please, if you may, return Toon Gemini Elf to the hand.”
There was, of course, still a face-down card on Pegasus’s field. It could be anything. A trap, a spell, or something Phil hadn’t even seen before. Mirror Force. Sakuretsu Armor. Or the most useless card in existence! Yes, a face-down card. A face-down card Phil couldn’t do jack shit to.
“I’ll flip my Golem Sentry back to face-down defense position out of caution, but that will be followed by summoning another Swarm of Locusts in attack mode!”
Two clouds of ravenous grasshoppers buzzed around Phil’s body, their many eyes laser-focused on Pegasus.
“I could hold off. I could.”
Phil raised his arms out wide. Shadow duel? What shadow duel!? If he lost, he’d be carded, but his life would still be safe. He knew Yugi would win tomorrow. Losing his soul would only be a minor, albeit embarrassing experience. Hell, it might give the kid another shot of motivation. Heh, like he even needed anymore in the first place.
“But mama ain’t raised no bitch! I’m callin’ your bluff, magic man!” Phil shouted, roaring with laughter as he pointed right toward Pegasus. "Battle phase! Both of my monsters strike directly!"
The face-down card did not activate. The monsters struck true. And the battle between mages reached its conclusion.
Phil: 1000 Pegasus: 0
https://discord.gg/jfRn8j5GaE!

