“At least this is familiar,” I say in a weak voice from the hospital bed I woke up in around an hour ago. It’s morning now, and rays of shimmering light are cast from the window into the recovery room that’s similar, but not identical, to the one I occupied last time.

  Honestly, I’m already starting to feel a lot better; my various shields protected me well from all the assaults, and just a few hours in my rest state are helping a lot with the twisting sensation in my stomach. Still, I’ve been given strict orders not to use my powers for a solid week.

  Audrey laughs, smiling broadly from where she sits on the edge of the bed beside me. Has she always smiled so much? I honestly don’t think so. “Kid,” she starts, “you do actually get used to waking up in beds like this eventually. Keep balancing on the edge like you have, and this is where you’ll keep ending up.”

  I groan, “I think I’m going to give my dad a heart attack if I keep doing this to him, though. Does he know how close I came to dying… again?”

  Audrey shakes her head. “Nah, the GDF doesn’t inform families unless it looks like you’re in particularly bad shape. If I finished with my ascension a few minutes later, he would certainly have been informed, though.”

  That thought troubles me; I’ve never purposely hidden things like this from my dad before. Sure, I’ve always hidden small things from him, but never anything major. Yet… what would I say? “Hey, Dad, I almost died again!” If I do that, I’m really not sure what he’ll do — he’s already working on the lawsuit with Grandpa, after all. Probably try to wrap me in bubble wrap and lock me in my room, if I have to guess.

  I sigh, clenching and unclenching my fists as I forcibly turn my attention back to Audrey. “That… that was a close one. I… I never did thank you for pulling us out of the fire. I don’t think any of us would still be here if you didn’t arrive when you did.”

  Really, I hope being rushed to the hospital while unconscious isn’t habit forming because every single one of my missions seems to end the same way. Except for the one where we raided a Reaver base and healed all the people captured there, I suppose. That one went mostly right if you discount the whole killing a man thing.

  Pretty much the moment I shifted out of my assault state near Shirakaze, I fell unconscious, the strain of the mana toxicity too much for me to take. I pushed myself far beyond my limits to try and fight in that battle at all, and I still feel awful for the fact that I was responsible for almost causing our team to wipe. I would argue that they shouldn’t have tried to save me, but if it were Akari, Claire, Baylee, or Haruto down and surrounded by enemies, I would have done anything to try and save them.

  “You’re wallowing,” Audrey accuses, waggling her finger. “Remember last time? What do we do after a mission like this?”

  I blink, straining my tired mind. “We… go over the gains and think about what we did wrong?”

  Audrey nods approvingly, “And do you know what you did wrong?”

  Letting out a long breath, I cover my face with my hands in a vain attempt to hide from my shame. “I… I should have let the town’s doctor deal with the normal injured. I tried to play miracle healer, and I nearly got everyone killed.”

  “That’s a big one,” Audrey says, “but it’s only one in a line of mistakes — not just from you, but your whole team. While we were waiting for you to wake up, Akari said that she joked with you about tying you up and forcing you to stop. If I were Baylee, I would have legitimately ordered that. However, do you know what your team’s biggest mistake of all was?”

  I shake my head, “The tactics we used in that last fight?”

  “No, those tactics were fairly textbook,” Audrey says; “the execution was lacking, but the idea itself was sound. What I’m referring to is that you disregarded the main order of the mission. You were to preserve your own lives over all else.”

  “Now, that first big fight you all participated in was fine because no one was majorly at risk, but that second one, though? You were told that if you needed to pull out, we would send transports for the townspeople and we would abandon the grain. The absolute most important part of what we do is preserving human lives in the moment — leave making the food and logistics work for the egg heads. That barley was not worth risking the lives of the entire town, and the second it looked too dangerous, you should have pulled out. That was the biggest mistake your team made.”

  I bow my head, “I’m sorry, I thought… I don’t know what I thought. I was so wrapped up in thinking about trying to accomplish everything that I barely thought about the bigger picture.”

  Audrey shrugs, “Honestly, that fault was Baylee’s, not yours. She should have realized her team was not fit for battle and pulled out days before that last push happened. Still, Kayne and I are going to individually lecture all of you about this because there were ten sentinels on the ground, and none of you decided to make that call.”

  I sigh, leaning back against my pillows. All of Audrey’s points just seem to drive a knife deeper and deeper into me. While the townspeople did manage to escape with the majority of the barley, we could have left the day before while the volcora were still nowhere to be seen and still gotten half of it. Why did we feel the need to push to the very last second?

  Leaning forward, Audrey places a hand on my shoulder. “Listen, don’t beat yourself up over it, kid. This kind of shit happens. I mean, we essentially gave a bunch of teenagers magical powers and then sent them off into the field to act as proper soldiers with the bare minimum of training. Trouble is that none of you have a proper grounding in tactics. Honestly, it was always going to go wrong, which is why we monitored you enough for me to swoop in at the last minute.”

  “So why do you keep putting us in those kinds of situations?” I ask, sitting up and leaning forward with genuine frustration.

  How many times have I found myself hopelessly out of my depth since becoming a sentinel?! Because it feels like it’s almost every day!

  “Partly because we have to, and partly so you can learn,” Audrey says. “If you haven’t noticed, the world is kind of ending. We don’t have time to do things the right way. Karma would never have taken the risks she does now five years ago when things were stable. We’re betting everything on surviving the year and hoping the Centurions can bail us out before the ship sinks.”

  That, at least, I understand. It doesn’t satisfy me, but I do understand. Still, I can’t help but feel like there’s a better way. For now, though, I’m just going to focus on the plan — save my home, no matter the cost. If we all end up as the playthings of the Centurians afterward, so be it, but at least we’ll be in better hands than if the Volcora tear everyone apart. That’ll be a problem for future me, now, I just need to make sure people stop dying.

  I still need to let Audrey in on part of the plan Althia gave me so I can get some advice on the type of thing that will attract Nightsong — you know, without her coming here to murder someone. That can still wait a bit, but not too much longer. For now, though…

  “I suppose it’s time to look at my gains, right?” I ask, settling back against the wall.

  Audrey grins, “Be honest, of everything we deal with, this is the fun part.”

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  With a mental flex of will, I manage to bring up the notifications I received while I was unconscious.

  Finally! I feel like I’ve been waiting for ages for an ability based around my archery, and now one has finally come! Also, I’m ready to ascend to D Rank? Despite the situation, I can’t help myself from sitting bolt upright in bed once more and staring at the notifications with wide eyes.

  Audrey — watching me with a knowing smile — coughs politely, and I quickly fill her in on what I see.

  “Ascension, huh?” Audrey says, running her hands through her hair. “I suppose it’s about time.”

  Suddenly, Audrey doesn’t seem nearly so upbeat — instead sounding conflicted. Celeste and I haven’t actually gone over what would happen when I’m ready to move from E Rank to D Rank, so I mostly just find myself confused. Honestly, I just kind of thought that when I reached the peak of E Rank, I would just move up into D Rank immediately. Evidently, that isn’t how things work.

  “If you don’t mind explaining… what is ascension? How does it work?” I question, tingles of excitement still running through me — although that might be lingering mana toxicity and pain medicine.

  For a moment, Audrey bows her head as if thinking over how to explain. “Ascension is the point in a sentinel’s growth that marks a clear difference in power. The difference between a low D Rank and a peek E Rank might seem like it should be nothing, but it very much isn’t. I would argue that a low D Rank would be two to three times stronger than any E Rank. All the usual things, barrier strength, familiar strength and size, and your general speed and endurance will increase, but you’ll also become more in tune with your astral path and your dominion.”

  At this point, Audrey begins to look conflicted again. “While ascending… you must either choose to draw closer to your astral path or push it away. Drawing closer means more power, but it also means that the concepts of your path have more power over you. Right now, you will have a drive to seek out hidden wounds in others in order to draw them out and heal them — just your instinct from before you became a sentinel slightly enhanced. Moving closer to your astral path, though… that drive will become a need. You will crave healing others in this manner, and you will stop being able to advance further without it.”

  I frown, hugging myself. “So… I can enhance my path, and there by my title, by drawing closer to my path. What happens if I don’t?”

  “You can turn away from your path at any future point in ascension,” Audrey explains. “Each time you accept your path, though, the power offered by it will compound. More and better abilities, more general strength, and standard advantages, as well as having a deeper mana pool and the ability to use more mana and incur less toxicity. By turning away from your path, you get these things, but they are less potent. If you then try to turn back toward your path in a future ascension, it will start compounding again all the way back at the beginning.”

  The way Audrey explains this… the sadness in her voice… suddenly, I understand.

  “You turned away from your path,” I say, not a question. The Audrey I spoke to before she disappeared for a while wouldn’t have spoken about ascension like this; she would have gone all in on the increase in power, no matter the cost.

  Audrey nods solemnly, “When I completed my ascension to A Rank right before I flew to save you, I turned away from my path. It’s a decision I stand by, as without it, I may not have felt any desire to come and help you.”

  I blink, A Rank… Audrey is A Rank! Will that be enough to save Shinara, even without attracting Nightsong? My gut says no, given that if Audrey has likely been away ascending all this time, surely Althia would have known about it during our discussion. Still, this is a massive advantage!

  Eyes wide, I lean in and give Audrey the biggest hug I can manage. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

  Audrey smiles sadly, “I feel as if I made the right choice turning away from my path at the last moment, but… I also feel awful for leaving power on the table.”

  After a moment, Audrey returns my hug for a few scant seconds before pulling away. She eyes me seriously. “Serena, the choice I just faced will be one that you will face here very soon. Our powers… our paths. They take us further and further from human the longer we follow them. If your power has its way, you will exist solely to seek out people in need and heal them — both mentally and physically. Perhaps that isn’t as distressing as what my path offered me, but it will become a need that you won’t always be able to resist. Like an addiction.”

  I nod my understanding. “So, my choices are to turn away from my path and accept my ascension with less power, or turn towards it and gain more power, but also be driven by the path.”

  “Essentially,” Audrey says. “Although what I described might not actually be how it manifests. Astral paths are complex and often deeply personal, as we’ve previously discussed. The path simply pushes you stronger in a direction you are already heading in. You can turn toward it and control it. As you ascend, you will build a relationship with your path; you will understand it intimately. From there, it’s up to you to decide if it’s good or bad. I decided that becoming an emotionless automaton for more power was a bad idea, but you’ll have to judge your own situation for yourself.”

  I swallow, thinking over the conflict Audrey must have faced before choosing to turn away from her path. She seems so much happier now, but she also left power — and compounding power at that — on the table while the world is falling apart around us. If Shinara falls because we aren’t powerful enough to save it, that guilt will likely eat at her for the rest of her days.

  For myself, I see no real reason to turn away from my path in the short term. More or less, it seems like rewarding me for doing things that I was going to do anyway. Besides, I would be healing people, not losing my emotions. In my eyes, following my path should be all upsides. However, I should probably schedule some time with Calan to discuss how a healer’s astral path can affect them — if he’s willing to talk about that, I suppose.

  “Well,” I tell Audrey, pushing the covers off me and beginning to look around the room in search of my clothes, “I think it’s about time that I go and see my teammates. I need to make sure everyone’s alright.”

  As I slide out of bed, moving to search in some nearby drawers for something other than a hospital gown, Audrey rolls her eyes. “And here I am warning you about the dangers of blindly following your astral path… whatever. What are you looking for, anyway?”

  “My clothes,” I murmur, trying to navigate the room on shaky legs — damn this stupid toxicity. At least it doesn’t hurt, so that’s a plus.

  Audrey lets out a long sigh. “Do you seriously not have a change of clothes in your inventory?”

  I pause. Yes, I do, in fact, have a change of clothes in my inventory — multiple even, given that I packed for a trip away. “I do… but… I’m not supposed to be using magic!” I proclaim victoriously.

  That’s a good explanation for not thinking of it, right? It would be awkward just to say that it’s because I completely forgot about my inventory.

  “Well,” Audrey says, “I guess you’ll just have to borrow something of mine.”

  I turn to her, finding her watching me with a wicked grin. “O-Oh,” I squeak, “Uh… maybe using my inventory just once is fine…”

  Looking over Audrey, I find her wearing her usual. Short jean shorts and a tank top, both of which doing nothing to hide her obvious musculature. It looks good on Audrey, but it’s far more… exposed than I like. Although, a part of me wonders if she has something… else in mind.

  “Oh, no,” Audrey says, still grinning. She rises from where she sits on the bed and strides over to me. “You’re not getting out of this one now, kid. You dug your own grave.”