The_Luce

  Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl.

  Swapping back and forth between forms was fun and all, but this was making me teeter on the brink of throwing up yesterday's lunch. Note to self: switching forms too much too fast can make you very nauseous. Good to know!

  A knock suddenly sounded at my bedroom door. It sounded like Mom, so she was about to open the door regardless of my response.

  I swapped one more time. Couldn't let Mom find out.

  "D'you have any undry in here, Ryan?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at my disheveled state.

  Laundry. Laundry. Something about that word was setting off arm bells in my head, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I pointed at the haphazard pile of clothes at the foot of my bed, "Yup."

  Wait.

  Pile of clothes at the food of my bed. Dirty clothes. Clothes I had worn yesterday. The dress. Crap! Crap, crap, crap!

  She started towards the pile. "Um!" I stammered, springing out of bed so fast I almost fell over from the ensuing dizzy spell. Then I realized I was still holding the amulet, so I subtly hid it behind my back. "I can grab it for you! You, ah, I've been, um, thinking a lot about how I should take responsibility for things, you know, I'm a grown adult now, well, legally speaking, and..." I was rambling.

  Mon's raised eyebrow turned into a full blown Concerned Look, with a hint of Suspicion of Antics. After years of academy training - well, school - I knew all of her looks. "Are you... doing okay, honey?"

  "Oh! Yeah, I'm doing okay. More than okay, actually, great! Never better!" I gave a thumbs up, and I even caught myself before I ended up using the amulet hand.

  It hardly convinced her, but she at least seemed to drop it. She sighed, "I don't want to invade your privacy, dear, but I... I'm worried about you. You aren't- aren't getting up to anything illegal, are you? Drugs?"

  I blinked, half genuinely caught off guard and half pying it up to seem more innocent, "Wh- drugs?! No, you know I'm way smarter than that, right? I'd never." I was just doing something else illegal. No problem.

  She nodded, "I know, Ryan, it's just... well, mothers worry. You'll understand when you have kids of your own. If there's anything you need to talk to me or your dad about, just tell us, okay?"

  "Okay!" I eagerly nodded.

  As she closed the door, she called out one st thing, "And make sure to actually bring down the undry, please!"

  "Course, Mom!" I shouted. Not a second ter I flipped the amulet again. Woosh, boobs. Sure, maybe I wasn't the most careful person in the world, but I knew keeping this secret would be a piece of cake.

  What could go wrong?

  ***

  School was so boring now. Heck, I thought it was boring before, but that was before I had magical power at my literal fingertips. It wasn't about being able to turn into a girl - though it was really interesting to see what things are like as a girl - it was just... being able to do anything magical.

  Careful not to unlock it, I fidgeted with the amulet in my hand, zily picking at my school lunch with the other.

  Wizards were, like, the coolest people in the world, but it took decades of rigorous training - training that I definitely couldn't handle - to be licensed as one, and all their products were super expensive on account of being impossible to mass produce. It was almost another world entirely, one that I could finally get the smallest taste of.

  “So that's why my house doesn't have any knives in it any- hey!" Drew snapped his fingers in my face, derailing my train of thought, "You're zoning out again. Sheesh, that's the fifth time this week."

  "Oh, sorry!" I shook my head, "It's just, you know... this pce is such a such a drag, dude."

  Drew did that funny thing where he bobbed his head from side to side when he was thinking about what to say, "Well... it's alright. I know it's, uh, tantamount to bsphemy to say this, but I think it's pretty interesting sometimes. When the teachers are good, anyway."

  "Ughhh!" I groaned in exasperation, throwing my hands into the air. Did you see what I had to deal with? This crap was bad enough from my parents, let alone from someone who's supposedly my age. "Nuh-uh, it's an evil little factory for mindless drones that do whatever boss tells 'em to do. It's about systematically drilling out all individuality and desire for a forgotten art known as 'fun'. I guess they got you, too. 'tantamount to bsphemy'? Who says that? Are you a vampire? You'd tell me if you were a vampire, right?"

  Drew didn't respond, instead staring at my hand. Oh, yeah, my amulet was there. "Ryan!" he hissed, "Why did you bring that here?!"

  "Oh! I was thinking about swapping in the unisex bathroom after school. Then I could have some fun during the week!" I grinned.

  His eyes widened, "What-?! What are you thinking?! There's like hundreds of students here, and teachers, and administrators, and- and if you get caught we'll get arrested and- and we'll go to jail and I- I- I'll never be able to get a good job or- or-"

  "Woah there!" I blinked, dropping the amulet on the table and raising my hands in a disarming way, like I was trying to calm a wild animal. Or, actually, my neurotic best friend, who was really quite simir to a wild deer if you thought about it. "I'm not gonna get caught, and if I do I won't get charged with anything, and if I do it'll only be a fine, and if it's not then you won't go with me. How's that work for ya?"

  He took a deep, shuddering breath, the one he did when he was trying to release all that tension he builds up. "I... I'm just worried something will happen to you, okay? It's dangerous stuff! That's centuries old, unlicensed magic! Who knows what kind of bugs or- or loopholes it has?"

  Before I could respond, someone walked up to our table and snatched the undefended amulet. My eyes snapped upwards: it was preppy-in-chief Chris (short for Christian, not Christopher) Peterson. The singur most annoying guy in school. Trailing behind him was his brainless ckey who took every word Chris said as gospel, Paul Woods.

  Any guy who wore a polo shirt to school every day was bad news in my book; Chris just proved the theory.

  "Well then, what do we have here?" he sneered, peering at the amulet in his hands. "Looks gay."

  Drew was too terrified to speak, so it was my time to shine. "Y'know, I could say the same thing about you," I remarked, swiftly twisting off the bench to stand, "But I guess that's offensive to gay people, lumping you in with 'em."

  Chris scowled. "Shut up, loser," he cleverly countered, "What's with the fidget toy? You got ADHD?" He pushed at the disc, trying to spin it. thankfully I had locked the tch, or else things would've gone... uh, poorly.

  "None of your business!" I shouted, reaching for the amulet. Admittedly, not the subtlest way to try and get it back.

  "Ah-ah-ah," he grinned, holding it out of my reach. Curse my slightly-below-average heightedness! "Why d'you want it so bad? Is it magic?" he mocked. Better for him to mock than to actually suspect, right?

  I kicked him in the shin.

  "Ow!" he cried, reflexively clutching it with his hands and hopping on the other foot. I snatched it while he was distracted. Some may call my strategy dishonourable, but this was not a pce of honour; it was school.

  Paul, behind him, just stared. What, too zy to help his dear leader? With friends like that... "You fell off, bro." I smirked with superiority. Back in the day, Chris used to bully Drew. I, of course, had put a stop to that. He never recovered.

  His eyes fshed with anger - aww, did the little rich boy get a booboo? "Hey, man, what's the big deal?! Is it... wait, no way, is that actually enchanted? Who the hell did you steal it from?" His lips curled into an ugly grin that was attempting - but failing - to look evil. "Wait 'til my father hears about this. You're cooked."

  I pocketed the amulet in my bag, then folded my arms across my chest. Jeez, this guy really had an uncanny ability to get on my freaking nerves. I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh no, I'm so scared! Christy's gonna run to daddy! Grow up, dude. It's not even magic, so Iunno what's up your butt."

  Hopefully he didn't see through that st part. He'd never been very perceptive - as proven by the many times I had flicked him in the face with the old 'something on your shirt' trick - so I had decent odds.

  Roll for Deception: "I don't get what your deal is, Dixon," Chris gred, "but I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. Something stinks-"

  "Might just be you," I interjected. Too easy. At least he wasn't sure about the magic thing - I probably got, like, a twelve.

  "Agh!! You annoying-" he jumped me like a bull that saw red. Was that even a real thing, or just a myth? Nevermind, I had to get this jerk off of me! Just as I started to get the upper hand, he called out, "Paul! Come on, help me out here!"

  At some point, Drew had ran off to find a teacher during the scuffle. Two against one was never easy.

  Ow.

  ***

  Two days ter, I was in the unisex bathroom making good on my pn from before. I had been sent home for getting into a fight, and then I had detention yesterday. Ugh, I hated that word. 'Detention'. It represented everything that was wrong with our society, the evil intent to punish all who dare to rebel against its so-called 'order', to cruelly lock up all those it sees as guilty of treason or sedition! I wasn't even allowed to bring my phone.

  Where was I? Oh, yeah, girl time.

  Today was especially boring - a thirty-question test on dark wizard Noah Webster's regime with full written answers (the worst kind of test!) was not my idea of a fun time - so I was gd to finally have a chance to unwind.

  My change of clothes, stashed away in my backpack all day, was only moderately wrinkled when I pulled it out. An unfortunate, but necessary sacrifice. Hiding away in a stall, I flipped to Mary mode and started getting dressed.

  A vender wool sweater, pid skirt, and stylish belt - I was running low on my allowance savings, but it was for a good cause - completed my transformation from average boy... to cute girl! The discarded, boring boy clothes went right into my bag.

  Rushing to the mirror, I surveyed my look. I still hadn't figured out how to fix the hair, but a couple of clips in the front helped it look less boyish. Down below, I had started shaving my legs in preparation for girl time. It worked fine during winter when I could wear jeans, but I wasn't sure how I could expin it come summer - California heat was not to be trifled with. Whatever, that was a problem for Future Ryan. Present Day Mary looked great!

  I couldn't resist striking a pose or two. Or three. Or ten. Okay, I admit it, I was downright preening. So what? It wasn't every day that you could be someone else entirely. Unless you had a magical amulet, anyway. I grinned, fluttering my eyeshes as I admired my dimples.

  The door opened. I spun to face them.

  Holy crap. In walked my crush of six months - I sat behind her in Social Studies - Vienna D’Arcy. Looking down at the floor, she bumped directly into me. That was the first time she had ever touched me. Woah! She stopped, looked up, then blinked. With her eyes. "Ack, sorry! I didn't think anyone would be here."

  Funny, I thought the same thing. "Oh, haha, ha, no worries, I- I was just... looking," I stammered. Huh?

  "Haha," she chuckled politely, "Um... what?"

  Stupid! This was making me look like a massive hypocrite. Who was I to teach Drew how to talk to girls if I couldn't even talk to one myself? Okay, just calm down, py it cool. I knew how to handle the dies. "I apologize." I smirked in what I hoped was a vulnerable yet enticing way, "I just got distracted thinking about..." ...your beautiful eyes. Wait, I was a girl right now. "Boys," I finished.

  No! Idiot! Idiot! I should've gone for the lesbian manoeuvre!

  She ughed, more genuinely this time, "Yeah, I know the feeling."

  This was a complete disaster. What was I even doing? Then... ding! A cartoon lightbulb practically shone like the sun over my head. What if I were to befriend Vienna and inquire about her taste in guys, but disguise it as simple girl talk? Ohoho, delightfully devilish, Mary. Then I could ask her out as Ryan!

  "Heh, mhm, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Uhh..." I stumbled. Crap, how did I do this without seeming like a total weirdo? I'd never tried girl talk before; I was out of my depth here!

  She looked simirly awkward, "Um... so- do you, uh, wanna talk about it, or..."

  Okay, okay, okay! Here's the pn: talk about a made up guy for a minute, and then she'll reciprocate with her own romantic woes. Easy! I started vomiting words, "Oh, um, yeah, uh, there's this g- guy I like, he's... tall?"

  Vienna nodded slowly, with a bemused expression. "O...kay?" she replied. Uh oh, she looked like she wanted to leave. I needed to be more believable!

  What did girls like in guys? I had no idea, besides what I'd seen in media. Well, uh, I just had to think logically about it. What would I like if I really was Mary? "H- he's, um, really nice, and, uh, respectful, and he's always looking out for me," I needed a hook! "But, uh, he sees m- me as a friend, so we can't... uh, date?"

  I gulped. What the heck was that?! It was like I had forgotten how to speak there! Totally incoherent, F- performance!

  "Oh, that su-" Vienna started speaking, but I'd selected the flee option and was already booking it out of the bathroom, knowing I was completely red in the face.

  Maybe I needed some help with talking to girls, too.

  ***

  Drew stumbled as I - still Mary - speed-walked past him outside the school. "Crap, crap, crap! Drew, I can't ever show my face here again. Please. I'd rather die. I gotta run away. Help?"

  The campus was thankfully rather vacant thirty minutes past the end of css, so I had nearly free rein to shout my woes to all who may hear. And by 'all' I, of course, meant Drew. Pray that he doth not find himself in the path of any loose rocks I happened to kick!

  "Woah, wait, what happened?" he asked, rushing to catch up with me, "Oh no, did- did someone see you change? Are you gonna g- get expelled?! I can't-"

  Whoops, I had to nip that spiral in the bud. Couldn't have both of us panicking. I pced a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, calm down, Andy," he rolled his eyes at the nickname, "Nobody found out. I just, y'know, completely ruined my social life forever and ever. Geez, What is wrong with me, dude."

  We stopped on the sidewalk. Drew pulled my hand off his shoulder, though he kept a hold of it. He smiled reassuringly, and said, "For what it's worth, I don't think you have much of a social life to even ruin."

  "Ouch!" I chuckled half-heartedly.

  "Besides, what'd you even do? Can't be worse than some of the things that've come outta your mouth before."

  "Hey, it's not my fault! my mouth just does that sometimes!"

  "I think that categorically does count as your fault. What happened, anyway?"

  Ugh, he was gonna ugh at me about this for years. Whatever, I was man enough to admit what happened, even if I was currently a girl. "Um, so, you know Vienna?"

  "Yeah, the girl you like?"

  I nodded, "Yeah, so, uh, I ran into her in the bathroom after I changed, and I tried talking to her, and, oh my God, I completely freaking fell apart and she probably thinks I'm a total freak and I'll be mocked forever and I'm supposed to be better with girls than you!" Alright, that wasn't my most coherent sentence, but they were even worse earlier.

  Drew ughed.

  "What?" What was so funny? This was serious stuff!

  "Mary..." he began. I raised an eyebrow in response. He continued, "Mary. You talked to her as Mary, moron, not Ryan."

  "Oh." I blinked in realization, "Oh!"

  "Social life, or ck thereof, secured." He grinned. There was an awkward pause. He was still holding my hand.

  "Ahem," I cleared my throat, extricating myself from that awkward situation both literally and figuratively, "So, whatcha up to this weekend?"

  Drew started walking beside me. We were headed in the direction of his house, so I could hang out and change back before going home. Bummer that my parents couldn't know, but if they ever found out, I was pretty sure I'd be under house arrest until I was thirty.

  "Let me guess," he said, putting his hand on his chin, "Humouring you again?"

  "Duh!" I grinned, "We both know a dweeb like you wouldn't have any other pns."

  He side-eyed me and shrugged, "Wow, you should be a detective with those reasoning skills. And yeah, sounds good. Just as long as you aren't making me use that thing." He shivered.

  Pfft! Spoilsport. That wasn't the current pn, but I wanted him to try it eventually. For science! I rushed ahead, turning to face him as I walked backwards. Don't try this at home, kids; I was a trained and certified expert. "Aww, c'mon!" I compined, "Why not?"

  He took a deep breath - geez, why did I even ask? - and answered, "Let's see," he started counting on his fingers, "I don't wanna be a girl. It's illegal. We don't know the rules of it. I don't wanna be a girl. Am I repeating myself?"

  "Yup." I replied, stick my tongue out. I nodded at what he said, "Those are all valid, reasonable points. Counterargument: It'll be fun!"

  "No."

  "Please?"

  "No!"

  "I'll give you twenty bucks!"

  "There's a pole behind you."

  "What?"

  You could guess what happened next. On the plus side, I didn't get a concussion!

  "Are you okay?!" he asked, kneeling down to my sprawling body, "Any brain damage? You- you gotta go to the hospital. There c- could be internal bleeding!"

  "Shut it, dweeb." I smirked up at him. There was only one of him, so I was probably fine. I pointed to the back of my very-much-still-hurting head, "I don't have one of those big red cartoony bumps here, do I?"

  "Uh, no."

  Heh. Distracting him with silly questions always worked. "Yeah, so there's no problem! That reminds me, though..."

  He furrowed his brow, "What reminds you, hitting your head?"

  "Mhm! D'you wanna go on a date?"

  He froze. "Okay, uh, maybe there is some brain damage. Do you know the name Ryan?" He reached to feel my head.

  "Yes, stupid!" I replied, swatting his hand away, "And I don't mean a real date! A practice one."

  Drew sighed and stood up, leaving me to get up by myself. I probably should have asked him to help me before I asked him out for a fake-date. Get some girl privilege, and all that. "That's... way too far. I was fine pying along with the flirting, but, like, that would be essentially a real date, wouldn't it? We'd be going out in public, and everyone would think-"

  "So what?" I asked.

  "It's just..." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Are you... sure you aren't gay? Trans, maybe? Trying to let out some repressed emotions?"

  Ugh. This crap again. "No. I am, for your information, a straight guy. That's it. End of story."

  He shot me a skeptical look, "A straight guy who turns into a girl and asks his guy friend on a date."

  "Dude, It's rolepy," I expined, "You know, back in Shakespeare's day, all the girl roles were pyed by male actors. And they kissed each other, and stuff! That's what this is. It's like an RPG!"

  For some annoying reason, he wasn't dropping it, "Right, except-"

  "Zip it!" I shouted, starting to get mad for real, "Just can it, alright, man? It's not like that. Accept it or screw off."

  "Woah!" he held his hands up, frowning, "Sorry I hit a nerve, I guess."

  Finally, that line of questioning had been closed for good. Good riddance. Introspection was the opposite of fun, and the opposite of fun could not, under any circumstances, be tolerated.

  'Cause it made me feel weird.