Phaedra could tell Isran was feeling guilty about something. The taller woman wouldn’t look at any of them in the eye, and although she wasn’t the most talkative, considering Phaedra had asked her to read her letter and they had legal problems coming she was being a bit too quiet.

  Morgana and Elysi were having a conversation a few feet away and Calliope was talking to Leopold. Morgana and Elysi had a lot of conversations. Phaedra wondered if they knew each other before Isran.

  Phaedra was standing beside Isran, who was gently rubbing the silky cape wrapped around her arm.

  Phaedra took in a deep breath and decided to just go for it.

  “Did you read it?” She whispered.

  Isran lifted her head and blinked a few times. “Uh… yeah.” She blushed, her guilty expression fading.

  Phaedra blushed a bit, her brief confidence fading.

  Isran smiled and took Phaedra’s hand in hers. “I—uh I like you too.”

  Phaedra had not realized how eager she was to hear that. Sure Elysi had all but told her Isran liked her, but hearing it from Isran herself was different. Amazing. She breathed out and smiled up at the blonde woman, the thoughts on how to navigate such a retionship would be addressed ter. As happy as she was to hear how Isran felt from Isran herself she had to know what was bothering her.

  “You look… stressed?” Saying guilty would be an accusation, and Phaedra didn’t want to start their retionship like that.

  Isran smiled, but she looked pained.

  “I…uh… I’ll tell you when we’re all together.”

  Phaedra nodded, she didn’t have to wait long since Elysi and Morgana were done speaking.

  Morgana patted Isran’s shoulder gently and nodded before walking away.

  Then Isran led them closer to the wall, there was next to no one outside the barracks considering there were only ten contestants left.

  Isran sighed. “I uh… almost fucked someone today.”

  Phaedra hummed, and Elysi tilted her head. Calliope didn’t seem at all bothered by the information.

  “Is that why you’re so stressed.”

  Isran nodded unsteadily. “It… I don’t want to say it wasn’t me, because it was me, I could’ve stopped it… but I’ve been feeling strange tely..”

  “Strange how?” Phaedra asked.

  Isran took in a rge shaky breath. “When I… hurt that mage and was… when I hurt that mage I was contempting dropping out. But the next day… I almost couldn’t give two cents about it. Not a care. But there was so much happening and I just didn’t think that hard about it.”

  Phaedra watched, a bit worried as Isran rubbed her face. “Then I just… today I was so hard… god that sounds bad but I had never been that out of it before. I couldn’t think about anything else. Mi followed me to the bathroom and if Morgana hadn’t come to find me...”

  Elysi and Phaedra both pced their hands on Isran at the same time. The sheepfolk and dark woman had talked about the retionship they were slowly entering. They would have to talk to Isran about too, but conversations between just the two of them were nessecary first.

  “I’m personally not against you having sex with others.”

  “Neither am I,” Phaedra added. She was jealous, she could admit that if she was asked. But she didn't own Isran, they weren't in that kind of retionship.

  Isran smiled a broken smile. “I am.”

  Phaedra frowned. “Do you think you’ve been hexed?”

  Isran shook her head with a small smile. “I should tell you guys how I ended up in Neos.”

  Phaedra gnced at Elysi, a bit panicked.

  “We shouldn’t have this conversation in public,” Elysi whispered.

  Isran shook her head. “I can’t keep this a secret any longer. Please.” She took a step closer to them. Phaedra took in a sharp breath when she noticed the blonde woman’s teary eyes.

  After calming Isran down slightly, Elysi gave in.

  “I—I’m from Palos… the old world.”

  Calliope tilted her head, paying more attention to the conversation. Phaedra swallowed, she really hoped against all odds Isran wasn’t a summoned.

  “I was given a… fuck this sounds absurd but I was given a second chance by the gods.”

  “By the gods?” Elysi frowned. Phaedra was also confused.

  Isran nodded, her eyes flicking nervously between the two of them. “I don’t remember much of my past life o—or even how I died but I met Sephia and Vycor, they gave me this second chance.”

  Isran’s fists balled tightly. “I’m so scatterbrained and forgetful in this life and I think it’s because there is something the gods don’t want me to remember. Sometimes I don’t even remember what I used to look like.”

  Phaedra swallowed and drew closer to the taller woman when tears started streaming down her face.

  “I—I’m sorry I’m just scared.” Her voice cracked as she said the st word. “I don’t want to find out because of what I can’t remember I am a different person, that I’m not the same. God, what if this body was for some poor dead person?”

  “Hey.” Elysi reached up to wipe some tears away. “Don’t think like that. You are beautiful inside and out, and even if this body belonged to someone else, or you aren’t the same because of what you can’t remember what matters is who you are right now.”

  Phaedra hesitated slightly, not wanting to intrude on a tender moment, but she felt stupid thinking that. It was a tender moment she could also share.

  She was taller and had a better reach to Isran’s face than Elysi, and she used that advantage to wipe more tears from Isran’s face.

  “No matter what, you are you. And even if you get your memories back—” Isran gazed into her eyes. “—and you behave differently. It will always be you.”

  Phaedra whispered lowly. “I will always like you. Every version of Isran.”

  Isran took in a deep breath and leaned closer to Phaedra.

  Phaedra closed her eyes and sighed internally when their lips met. Isran kissed her slowly, with almost hesitant pecks. It was Phaedra who had to push harder against the taller woman.

  When they split Isran’s eyes were still closed, tears leaving her closed lids and a smile on her face. “I don’t deserve you… any of you.”

  Phaedra watched as Elysi drew closer and y her head against Isran’s chest, smiling up at Phaedra.

  “We don’t deserve you.”

  They were all surprised to hear Calliope add to the conversation.

  The mousefolk blinked up at them and smiled. “You saved my life. And since you aren’t from Noes I don’t know if you understand how horrible being owned by smugglers is. But I wouldn’t be here, happy, if not for you. We don’t deserve you.”

  Red pushed the mousefolk forward till she was also against Isran, Leopold climbed onto the taller woman’s shoulder.

  Isran was still crying, but from her expression Phaedra knew she was feeling better about herself. “I’m the luckiest person to ever exist, I’m so grateful that I met you three.”

  Phaedra hummed.

  It was getting very te by the time they split up, Phaedra had been thinking a bit more about their kiss, and the more she did the more she wanted it to happen again. Isran was still a bit emotionally downtrodden so that would be insensitive an—

  Phaedra’s eyes widened when she felt Isran lips on her again, her hand cradling her head.

  When they split apart Isran was smiling down at her with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Don’t think too hard about kissing me. You can do it whenever you want.”

  Phaedra blinked rapidly with her blush worsening. Isran could be so timid and unsure of herself sometimes, but she was so sexy when she was sure and confident.

  Phaedra leaned up and gave her one st kiss before drawing away.

  Elysi looked back as they walked out of the arena, a pained look on her face. “I’m worried about her.”

  Calliope reassured her. “Don’t be. I have a feeling she will be fine.”

  Elysi didn’t look convinced but Phaedra was as she gnced back as well, Isran waved and she waved back. “She’ll be fine. She’s stronger than gives herself credit for.”

  But they did have other things to worry about. First, they had to find out if gods could create summoned and if that was still in the realm of illegality.