Orion had set up a BioTent at the base of some purple palm trees. Oslo’s latest invention had clear plastic walls that allowed them to admire the scenery, and a portable air purifier so they could relax without BioSuits. The tent was cozy but still boasted enough room to contain three chairs, a small table, and room enough for the animals to relax in the shade. Orion set out some of the rations Xing had prepared while the others relaxed.
Orion decided to hunt. Maybe there were some ratillac burrows, but he hadn’t found any wheel tracks. He discovered tracks in the red clay and followed them. The trail led to the riverbank, and he risked a glance down. It was pretty deep, but the walls were more or less as steep as the Phoenix crater.
Orion examined his map and frowned at how little information he had about their destination. If they followed the river it should take them right to the new city, but he wasn’t sure of the distance. Apus had been the one to get a bird’s eye view the buried city.
Orion called out, “Apus?”
There was a spark and a flash of pain as Orion’s neural implant kicked to life. Humming like a cheap PC cooling fan, a wavering red hologram appeared on Orion’s shoulder. After a moment the sound died down and Apus’s form fixed into place. Pixels were missing from his wingtips, and there were VHS tracking lines flowing down his projection, but Apus preened himself as if nothing was wrong.
The bird asked nonchalantly. “What can I do ya for, Chief?”
Orion gave him a worried look, “Looking a little peaky there bud. You okay?”
Apus feigned nuzzling against Orion’s cheek, “I’m operating at acceptable l-levels.”
“If you’re sure-” Orion began.
Apus interrupted, “Don’t sweat it boss. Your implant’s just a bit buggy, but it should normalize during y-your next respawn. Whatcha got for me?”
Orion frowned worriedly. Finally he asked, “Could you scout the area for any dangers? Maybe locate some food?”
“Roger that, mon capitaine,” Apus said as he soared into the sky.
Orion wasn’t reassured by Apus’s blasé attitude, but there was little he could do to fix it. Maybe they’d find a more advanced hospital somewhere in the new city. Bolstered by this, he went into explorer mode. His first duty was to name the river for the map. He’d become quite the amateur cartographer, having named most of the landmarks outside of Phoenix. The river needed a suitably majestic name, one that fully encapsulated the majesty of this deep furrow that split the landscape.
After some careful consideration, he labeled the river ‘Denial’.
“Get it? It’s like the Nile, but there’s no water in it. So it’s a river in Denial.” Grinning at his own cleverness, Orion thought, ‘Pretty good, right?’
Apus humored him across their mental link, ‘You’re a laugh riot, Boss.’
The Denial river was still disorienting. At first glance it looked like a dry aqueduct, suitable for little more than racing hotrods while wearing leather jackets. Even with the complete absence of water there were things floating across the sky, fixated at a point a foot below the riverbank. The debris mostly consisted of logs, but there were schools of shiny gold fish swimming through the air.
Hidden among the logs were long, vaguely rectangular metal panels. They almost looked like rafts, if not for the little towers poking out near the backs of each one. Small red birds hopped innocently across the surface, sunning themselves and flying away to catch bugs. Under each of these floating platforms lurked something far more sinister.
Hulking prehistoric lizards with blue-gray scales floated under the platforms. Crocodiles ranging in length from fifteen to twenty feet stared at Orion from the river, weighing their chances with the Org. If there had been water in the river, the beasts would be almost invisible save for the aircraft carrier runways protruding from their backs.
He’d encountered the strange military crocodiles before, but they had been too slow to pose a threat. Now that they were to be following the river to the new city, the hovering warships with teeth would be a more immediate problem. If they were unwary in camping by the riverbank, someone might get dragged away in the night.
Orion activated
“Navy Crocodiles? Come on developers, you’re not even trying anymore.” Orion thought, “Need something snappier, like, aircraftcarrion. Or crocodarriers. No, that’s terrible. It’d be easier if you were battlecruisers. Battlediles. Or cruiserdiles.”
Orion wrinkled his nose. There weren’t any great options. They were such cool designs, but a bad name could taint the whole experience for people. He sighed and entered them as ‘Cruisadile’ in his HUD’s
There was a throaty growl behind Orion, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. Slowly he turned and his heart stopped at what he saw. There was a huge cruisadile mere feet away from him. Somehow it had snuck up to him while he was distracted. Six red birds were glaring at him with a look of determination.
“Nice, cruisadile. Go~od cruisadile,” Orion cooed. “Do you want to be friends?”
With a flurry of feathers, one of the birds launched right at Orion’s face. Panicked, Orion pulled Sunflare out of his inventory and swung wildly. The bird was so small that the air pressure pushed it away and around the hammer. The red missile headbutted him in the face and exploded, fire blossoming around Orion’s head and shoulders.
As the smoke cleared, Orion screamed. “Oh, you little bast-Aaarg!”
Teeth slammed down on his right ankle, yanking hard. Pain lanced up Orion’s leg as he was pulled off his feet, hitting his chin on the baked sand hard enough to rattle his tusks. Before he could push himself upright, the cruisadile scrambled backwards and dragged Orion into the river. This meant the cruisadile was gliding peacefully along the nonexistent surface of the lake, while leaving Orion suspended in the air by his ankle.
Apus appeared on Orion’s right, standing in mid-air, “I’m back! Actually, that Denial river joke was pretty goo-Ah, I see you’re busy. I’ll come back later.” Apus vanished again.
“Apus!” Orion shouted, “Get back here and help me!”
So is this just-, Fangtooth trailed off, searching for the right word. Nothing presented itself so they simply asked, -Normal for you?
Xing still didn’t like Fangtooth after two days of travel. Not even when the deep sea Astropod stripped out of their mech suit and relaxed in a lowcut wetsuit. She felt no pity when she saw the terrible scars or their missing right breast. She was unmoved by the medical implant monitoring the Astropod’s vitals. Xing viewed the bounty hunter as her nemesis, and refused to let her guard down.
Nope! Didn’t care at all! No matter how painful it looked. And there was no way she was going to look up scar removal treatments in her biohacker skill tree later! No way.
Maybe Dr. Birchett could give her some advice...
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Xing shook away the intrusive thoughts. Despite her distaste for Fangtooth, even Xing had to admit this was one of the weirder things she’d seen since meeting Orion. And that was including the strange phenomenons found deep in the bowels of the UF Equinox.
Orion was clinging to the underbelly of the cruisadile, his ankle still firmly trapped in the toothy maw. The cruisadile currently had the screaming Org in a death roll, red birds squawking overhead. The red birds kept trying to fly at Orion, but Apus was sweeping down to block them. A cacophony of angry tweeting and a bad impression of hawk sounds mingled with the terrified shrieks. This was attracting a lot of attention and more cruisadiles were swimming languidly towards the ruckus.
Taking pity on the bounty hunter, Xing responded, “Unfortunately, yes. None of this should be happening, but Orion’s a Sentinel. Strange stuff seems to happen wherever he goes, and nothing phases him.”
“I’m gonna die!” wailed Orion. “I’m gonna throw up! And then I’m gonna die! Apu~us! Get me off this crazy thing!”
“Almost nothing,” Xing corrected.
Orion had a death-grip on the edge of the cruisadile’s platform, but centrifugal force was causing him to slip. His fingers slid off the smooth surface and the Org’s arms flung outward, spinning Orion like a fan blade.
Orion’s shouts were distorted as he spun, “IiIi’m goOoonaAaa pUuuuk-Aaaah!”
There was a tearing sound as sharp crocodilian teeth tore through Orion’s pant leg and sent him careening away toward the center of the river, trailing blood.
This man is our Governor? Everyone speaks of him with such reverence. He’s a clown! Fangtooth groused, I think I hate him.
“Good! Cuz he’s mine! And Aurelio’s. And possibly Ragamuffin’s, if he pulls his head outta his ass,” said Xing, testily.
Fangtooth mentally grunted, You always had terrible taste in partners.
Orion pinwheeled through the air in a high arc. A half dozen cruisadile’s swam faster, their cybernetic tails flipping down in the center and spinning like boat propellers. The mob of cruisadiles clustered under him, jaws opened wide to intercept the falling meal. This caused the debris floating on air to bob about, invisible waves disturbing the river's non-surface.
“Boss! The crocs are right below you!” Apus shouted. “Toss your traps or something!”
Without even opening his eyes, Orion opened his HUD. Xing watched as he blindly fumbled through the digital screen and rummage through his inventory. Random items appeared in his hands and Orion flung them blindly into the rushing air. A combination of traps, building materials and miscellaneous trash rained down on the encroaching reptiles. Not understanding the danger, the mass of gnashing teeth champed down on the rain of garbage.
There was the sound of tormented Styrofoam as one bit down on an ice trap. Icicles punctured the cruisadile’s muzzle, quickly sealing its mouth with frost. Its birds flew up to assist, pecking at the frozen shards while the cruisadile thrashed wildly.
A fire trap landed on the back of a nearby cruisadile with enough force to set it off, igniting between the flock of hopping birds. The resulting explosion tore the beast’s radio tower free in a shower of red feathers and viscera.
A glue trap sealed the mouth and eyes of another croc. The panicked animal thrashed, smacking his head into a different cruisadile’s spinning propeller. Glue splattered everywhere, adhering them together and sending them sinking to the riverbed.
More traps went off as Orion threw down anything he could lay his hands on. The only thing that stopped his reign of terror was landing face first into the runway of the largest cruisadile. The sudden cessation of momentum curved his spine into a backwards crescent, feet dangling just above his head. A dismayed bellow erupted from the stricken throat of the cruisadile Orion landed on, the sounds muffled as if heard underwater. There was a bubbling explosion and a fountain of red feathers as Orion’s spine finally straightened itself and collapsed on the damaged platform, smashing birds.
Xing winced at the carnage. Half the traps went wide and were now laying on the dry riverbed, a hazard for any creature who blundered into them. This certainly wasn’t Orion’s most strategic fight. Despite that, she felt the sudden urge to defend him from Fangtooth’s criticism.
“Sure, I’ve picked some losers in the past. They were manipulative, narcissistic sadists mostly.” Xing admitted, “Orion’s different.”
Agreed. Your former beaus were at least somewhat competent. Fangtooth snarked.
Orion got to his feet groggily, wobbling on the unconscious cruisadile’s back. He shook his head to clear it, focusing on the chaos surrounding him. He tried to speak but his jaw appeared to be dislocated. He braced himself and pushed the loose mandible back into place with a wet pop, the sound making Xing nauseous. Orion spit a broken molar at a passing school of levitating gold fish, scattering them in a flurry of shimmering scales.
Xing cried out, “Orion! Above you!”
A shadow converged overhead, the sun blotted out as the congregation of cyborg reptiles swam down at him. The few maws that could still open aimed for Orion, hissing and drooling blue tinted saliva.
Orion wiped blood and feathers off his face with his jacket sleeve, Orion recalled Sunflare back to his hand. Slamming the butt of the battle sledge on the cracked crusadile back. The hammer’s Orgite head burst into flame as he activated the fire [MOD]. This barely slowed the hungry predators as they bore down on him.
“I didn’t want to do this. I just wanted to catch some rats for dinner, maybe have some pie.” Orion gripped Sunflare tightly, “But now you’ve forced my hand.”
Orion twirled Sunflare, a ring of fire illuminating him in the shadows. He spun in an arc, gripping the handle in both hands and smashing the nearest cruisadile in the side. Metal and bone crumpled like a soda can under the blow, sending the gator spinning away. Quickly raising the hammer again he struck down at the next, the unlucky gator somersaulting over his head. Sunflare connected with three more, a metallic gong sound echoing through the empty river with every strike. Flaming, injured cruisadiles orbited around Orion like a solar system of pain.
There was a moment of shocked silence. Fangtooth stared at the sight with disbelief. It was over in seconds.
W-what? How? Fangtooth stammered, If he can fight like that, why all the hysterics?
“He’s scared of heights,” Xing explained, unsurprised by Orion’s battle prowess. “Besides, he doesn’t like harming animals. He only resorts to it in matters of survival.”
The cruisadile Orion stood on regained consciousness. Its propeller started to rotate, nearly dislodging Orion from its back. The only thing that prevented him from pitching off the side was bracing his prosthetic on the tower and shifting his weight against the dips and weaves. It was a bit like riding a mechanical bull, if that bull was suspended twenty feet in the air.
Orion pushed himself away from the tower and scrambled up, his peg slipping a bit on the slick surface. Orion raised his hammer and rapped the handle on the croc’s thick skull.
Orion demanded, “Stop that! Get me back to the shore and I’ll leave you all alone.”
The cruisadile appeared to be thinking over the request. Instead of complying, the beast opened its mouth and bellowed, a deep guttural growl mixed with the sound of a foghorn.
Orion flinched as another cruisadile answered the call with one of their own. Then another, until every injured beast that still had a working mouth was lifting their voice in a chorus that shook the very air with its deep cadence.
Orion could feel the vibrations in his chest. “That’s not good.”
A mound of earth on the bottom of the lake burst upward in a cloud of dust. Detritus and cruisadiles all bobbed in the air like fishing bobbers on a wave pool. When the dust settled, a nearly forty foot cruisadile rose up from the ground like a zeppelin. It was built like a tank, the thick crocodile body a darker navy blue. This beast looked like it ate other cruisadiles for breakfast and still had room for brunch. It had stunner shades covering its eyes and four brass star-shaped scales on the sides of its body. Panels opened on the aircraft platform, and six blue birds with yellow heads and wingtips rose up from the floor.
It was only then he noticed there was a large ring of dilapidated boats, treasure chests and skeletons scattered over the floor of the river. This formed an uneven circle around him, and the giant lizard spawned right in the center.
“Ah, hell!” Orion yelled, “This is a boss arena!”