“This sort of conduct is unacceptable Amaranth!” Deputy Director Renick barked. “Absolutely unacceptable with the leeway we’ve given you.”

  “Yes sir,” I said flatly, staring straight ahead at the knot on his tie. It had a subtle pinstripe pattern on the fabric, and was starting to come loose.

  “How long have you been doing this Amaranth?” he demanded.

  “Three or four weeks, sir,” I said.

  “Weeks?” Clockblocker said, head twisting to look at me. “Are you fff— kidding me Lia?” Nice save boss.

  “No,” I said shortly. “I was out there protecting people, and I broke the rules to do it.” I didn’t regret it right now, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t last long.

  “Jesus,” he said, shaking his head. “Uh, deputy director, this seems pretty open and shut; why’d you ask for me?”

  “Because we need to figure out what to do going forward,” Renick said gruffly. “Director Higgins is occupied. Right now, I’m leaning towards a vigilantism charge.” I rolled my eyes when he shot me a look.

  “That seems...a little extreme sir,” Clockblocker said. “I mean, we didn’t even hit Shadow Stalker with one.”

  “I’m not sure what else will get it through to her.”

  “Fine and confinement?” Clockblocker said with a shrug, and I shot him a venomous look.

  “Why the fuck are you assholes punishing me for doing the right thing?” I demanded. “Someone triggered last night and I helped them, I called you for backup because I knew I needed help and I knew what the consequences were, then I went and made sure the people Bitch mauled didn’t die. But no, because I went out at all fuck me right?” My face was burning and I could feel sweat pricking at my back.

  “Amaranth…” Clockblocker said as the deputy director turned scarlet.

  “You’re way out of line,” Renick said, voice low and dangerous. “You’re not only endangering yourself, but the people you’re ‘saving’. The threat doesn’t end when you walk away.”

  “No kidding, but I’m doing a hell of a lot more than you,” I spat. “Who was on the way before I called? I didn’t hear any sirens even after Bitch tore the place up; and again, I called. Like…why are you this mad when even though, when I knew it would screw me, I did things right?”

  “You haven’t done things right,” the deputy director retorted. “You’ve flouted the rules every chance you’ve had, lied to our faces to get more slack, and then done it again. At this point, I don’t think you’ll see a patrol before you leave the Wards; one way or another.”

  His eyes met mine, grey and unflinching like the armour the officers wore. He wasn’t kidding. They’d keep me here, basically use me as a prop until they broke me down enough to work with them, and only then let me out to do good under whatever mandate they had left by the end of it. A year or more of bullshit, of more chafing, of more unfair rules hurting other people. It made me sick.

  “One way or another sir?” I said numbly. His eyes widened.

  “Amaranth you—”

  “I quit.”

  The silence was sudden and tense, filled only by the rhythmic beating of my heart. My breathing was steady, my heart wasn’t racing despite being pissed as hell. I didn’t want to quit. I wanted to be a hero, to have friends, people who cared about me. I had all that in spades here, like Yamada had promised ages ago.

  What was that worth if I couldn’t help people?

  “You can’t—”

  “I can,” I cut Clockblocker off. “This isn’t working. I want to help, you don’t want my help, so why am I even here? I don’t want to be a little merch puppet selling dolls to eight year olds who think I’m cool when I’m doing fuck all, but that’s all you want me to be.”

  “We want you to be a hero,” Clockblocker countered. “Like us, your friends.”

  “I’m sorry Clock.” I turned and looked at the deputy director, who seemed to have shaken off his shock. “You too sir, for what it’s worth. I’m done.”

  “It’s not going to work like that,” Renick said tersely. “You’re a minor under our care, the Youth Guard wouldn’t stand for it.”

  “I don’t really see how you can stop me,” I said. “Let me talk to Miss Stanford, I’ll tell her myself. But really, how do you intend to stop me?”

  “I could,” Clockblocker said, his voice low.

  “You could break my projection,” I conceded. “But how are you going to stop my counterpunch into your nose? I guess the deputy director could pull his gun, but we’re not—”

  “Shut up, both of you,” Renick barked, making me snap my mouth shut. He took a deep breath, then sighed. “I cannot begin to understand what’s going on inside your head Amaranth. Do you know what you’re asking of us?”

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  “I’m asking you to let me quit my job,” I replied. “I’m beyond a fuckup sir. It’s been problem after problem, and everyone knows it.” Me most of all. “Let’s stop pretending I can ever be a real Ward, because frankly considering how it’s been, and how it’s going to go, I don’t think I want to be one.” There was a tense silence, then Renick’s chair creaked as he leaned back.

  “I think you’re making a tremendous mistake,” he said gravely. “Worse than any idiot stunt you’ve pulled in your short career.”

  “I could be,” I agreed. “But staying and doing nothing while Nazis are doing god only fucking knows what to people in the city would be worse.” He sighed, looking older than I’d ever seen.

  “Clockblocker, go find an officer to escort Amaranth to get her belongings,” Renick said quietly.

  “Sir we can’t—”

  “I’m not having a god damn cape fight in my office,” he snapped. “And she’s made it very clear that’s the alternative here. While I’m tempted to arrest her for threatening one, I can’t ignore that you did as well. Go.” Clockblocker rose and left. Once the door shut, the deputy director leaned forward. “Amaranth, I’m asking you not to do this. Not as your boss, as someone who doesn’t want to see a young woman out on the streets of Brockton Bay; and definitely not dead in a gutter because she bit off more Nazi ass than she could chew.”

  “I appreciate the vote of confidence,” I said sarcastically, then sighed. “I can handle myself, got places I can go.”

  “Pandora.”

  “Yeah right, after last night?” I scoffed. “No I can go squat in my own house I guess. Nobody owns it, or I guess the bank does but whatever. Not like I don’t have the money to feed myself either, so I’ll be fine.”

  “You’re not taking this seriously,” Renick chided. “How are you going to keep up with school? If you intend to be an independent it’s going to take compromises.”

  “We’ll see,” I said simply. “I assume the next step is paperwork?”

  “So you wanna explain why I’m watching you pack your shit instead of teaching you how to box?” Hooks said, standing in the doorway as I stuffed clothes into a duffel.

  “I quit,” I said. “I mean, it was...mutual, sort of. I was kinda going out on patrols on my own. Had to call them after a dogfight got broken up and some people were mauled. Bitch, not me for the record. I just helped someone who the Nazis were...well I don’t wanna think about it.”

  “Christ,” she muttered. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

  “Sure, whatever,” I said bitterly.

  “You get suspended for breaking the rules and your response is breaking more rules?” I glanced back and saw her cocking her head, frowning. “Am I reading that right?”

  “Read it however you want,” I snapped. “I was helping people the Protectorate wasn’t. I’m sorry it messed things up.” But only because I got caught.

  “I thought you were smarter than that,” Hooks said. “You could have been one of the best the local team had and you’re giving it up?”

  “If the Protectorate was doing anything, that might matter to me,” I retorted. “Look I said I’m sorry and I am. Doesn’t change what happened or what’s going to.” I zipped my last bag shut and rose, hefting my backpack on before picking up the pair of duffels.

  “So this is it,” she said, looking me up and down. I wasn’t much in my civilians, with just a balaclava over my head. She didn’t look as angry as I thought just...sad.

  “Yeah,” I said, throat suddenly tight. “I’m...I’ll be okay I…” She took a step forward and her arms wrapped me in a tight hug. I shut my eyes and took a shaky breath filled with the smell of sandalwood.

  “I’m gonna miss you Mara,” Hooks said quietly.

  “Miss you too, Hooks,” I said quietly, blinking as my eyes stung with tears.

  “Lafayette.”

  “Huh?”

  “My name,” she said. “Lafayette. If you’re gonna be a civilian, no point standing on ceremony.”

  “Lafayette,” I repeated, sounding it out. “Okay...thanks.”

  “Thank me by dropping by the gym sometime,” Hooks, Lafayette, said as she pulled away. She dug around in one of the many pockets of her uniform before pulling out a card and handing it to me.

  “’Palooka’s’?” I asked, glancing up at her.

  “It’s where me and Bailey actually train,” she explained. “He stops by sometimes to watch. Come around, I’ll give you some real coaching.” There was a dangerous look in her eye. Despite that, I grinned and pocketed the card.

  “We’ll see,” I hedged. “I...need to figure out what the fuck my life is gonna be first.”

  “Need a place to crash?” she said, falling in behind me as I left my room.

  “Ehh, we’ll see,” I said, shrugging and wincing at the weight of my bags. We headed into the connector, my heart beating harder. “Should be okay.”

  “Well just shout,” Lafayette said, stopping beside me as I paused at the halfway point.

  This was it. There was no going back from here. Really there never had been, they’d sent a PRT officer along to make sure of it. My grip on the strap of my duffel tightened. I still didn’t know what I was going to do, except I’d still be a hero. What that meant...I’d have to figure it out. I took a deep breath and continued, leaving Hooks and my life behind.

  I shed my balaclava once I cleared the connector, walking through the empty back halls of the neighbouring building to the side entrance we, or I guess the Wards, all used. I shifted my bags, then pushed through the door and out onto the streets outside.

  “There you are.” I started and whipped my head around, letting out a tense sigh when I saw Amy.

  “Hey,” I said, offering her a smile. “Good to see you.”

  “Want to explain this?” she asked, pulling out her phone and showing me the screen. ‘Quit :)’, the text I’d sent earlier. My cheeks flushed.

  “Uhh...bad taste?” I said sheepishly. “Sorry I just...I had no idea how to tell you.”

  “And you didn’t talk to me about it first?” she said, cocking her head.

  “No,” I replied, shaking my head. “It was...there was nothing to talk about. The Wards wasn’t going to work out for me, that’s it.”

  “Lia…” Amy said, taking my hand. She gave me a plaintive look that quickly turned into one of shock. “Fuck, you’re… Hey, do you remember some—”

  “Shut up,” I snapped, pulling my hand away. She cringed back and I felt my guts twist. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t...I don’t know what’s going on in my head.” I remembered four first kisses that never happened and swallowed hard. “Can we just...not, right now?”

  “Okay,” Amy said, giving me a worried look. “If...if you’re sure.”

  “I’m not,” I said. “But I just...look, let’s just talk about it another time. I still have to figure out a place to stay and stuff so...yeah.”

  “Later then,” she agreed, turning on her heel. “Come on, let’s go home.”

  “What?”

  “I said let’s go home,” she said, looking back at me. “You don’t have a place right?”

  “I don’t but like, aren’t you mad?” I grimaced and stared at the pavement. “I fucked up, I’m...I’m not a hero anymore. I thought you wouldn’t—” The light faded rapidly as she wrapped me in a hug.

  “Dumbass,” she muttered. “You’re still my girlfriend still...my hero, even if you’re not in the Wards.” I gripped her tightly, nodding against her chest.

  “Thanks,” I said, throat tight and eyes stinging. “I...I love you Amy.” Her hold around my back tightened.

  “Come on,” she whispered, pulling away. “Home?”

  “Home,” I agreed eagerly.