“Thank you so much for your time Pandora,” the head doctor, Roberts? Richards? Whoever he was, said. “We thought we’d be overloaded like it was four years ago, after we heard Panacea died. Never expected there would be another healing hero in Brockton Bay, not after what we’ve been through.”
“It’s fine,” Pandora replied quickly, shaking her head. “And I’m not really a healer, I just modify peoples’ biology so it fixes itself and…” She blinked, glancing at the doctor. “Sorry did you say Panacea died?”
“That’s what I heard,” he said, shrugging. “Of course New Wave didn’t announce it, just said she’s on a sabbatical or something. But I mean...with how things have gone in the last few months, I’d be shocked if she survived. Sorry, that’s a little grim but…”
“No, I get it,” she sighed. People thought she was dead huh? Maybe it would be better that way… “At least I’m around though.”
“Small miracles,” he said, chuckling. “May I ask what you’re doing outside our hospital? Not that it’s any of my business but, well, we could certainly use your healing hands around here more often. Could take to the managers about extending a contract and—”
“I’m contracted with the local PRT,” Pandora cut him off. “And I go around to every hospital here, I’m not exclusive.”
“Of course not,” he said quickly. “We wouldn’t expect you to only come here just...more regularly.”
“Sorry,” she replied firmly.
“Well, can’t blame me for asking,” the doctor sighed as they came to the door. He turned and offered her a tired smile. “Have a good night Pandora, and merry Christmas.”
Christmas. The reminder hit like a slap in the face as she walked out into the snowy evening. Amy found a secluded spot to remove her mask and the nurse cap that had become part of her new costume. She stared down at the emblem, four simple lines, three straight and one diagonal to suggest an open box.
With a sigh, she stuffed her costume pieces in her bag and headed down to the bus stop, part of her wanting to just go back and keep healing until she forgot what day it was. For months, Amy had been looking forward to Christmas. It was the first time in years she’d actually anticipated it with any sort of positive feelings but now…
Now Amy was going to spend it alone in her cold apartment, tired because she was barely able to sleep most nights. Well, she’d probably wind up in one hospital or another, realistically. It wouldn’t do to waste time moping over a girl who didn’t love her.
A sigh escaped her lips as she got on the bus and sat down, resting her forehead against the cool glass. She’d spent so much time mulling it over, but still couldn’t find an answer besides one she really didn’t want to consider. Amy hoped she hadn’t misjudged Lia so badly but...here she was.
The journey home wasn’t too long, she’d been working at Bay General downtown. Soon enough, she was walking into their— her apartment and kicking off her slushy shoes. Amy shuffled into the living room and collapsed on the couch, a lump growing in her throat. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she sniffled as she pulled it out and opened it.
‘Merry Christmas Eve Amy! What are you and Lia up to?’ a text from Crystal. With her lower lip trembling, Amy hit the call button. “Hey, Amy?” Crystal answered on the first ring.
“Hey,” Amy said hoarsely. “Um, how’s it going?”
“Pretty good, we’re just getting ready to go over to Aunt Carol’s for dinner,” she replied brightly. “What about you?”
“I…” She sniffled and swallowed. “I’m fine, I guess.” Why the fuck had she called? It’s not like they wanted her any more than Lia did.
“Are you sure?” Crystal asked, sounding concerned. “Are you and Lia doing okay?”
The dam broke, despite how Amy tried to hold it back. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks and ugly sobs escaped her throat. She blubbered to her cousin about Lia, about her life, and how everything had just...fallen apart. It felt like Amy was spilling her guts out, emptying all the ugliness her life had devolved into, but she just couldn’t stop.
“Sorry,” Amy sobbed when she’d finally finished. “I’m sorry Crystal, I didn’t mean to…” She took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Crystal said gently, like Amy was made of glass and could shatter with the wrong word. “That...I’m sorry Amy, that’s awful. I can’t believe she just...left.” Amy couldn’t help the choked sob that escaped her at ‘left’. “Sorry. Um, god, I wish I had more time to talk and help, you know? I just...actually hold on one sec.”
Amy hung her head as the line went quiet. Just fucking up her family’s Christmas Eve, because god knew she was the common denominator in the misery that surrounded her. She never should have called, just sent a text or—
“Hey, are you doing anything?” Crystal asked quickly, making Amy jump.
“Um…” Amy sniffled and cleared her throat. “No just...I’m at home.”
“Come to dinner,” she said brightly. “Mom said it would be great to see you, and I bet auntie and uncle would like it too.”
“I can’t…” Amy bit her lip. Could she? She couldn’t deny that she wanted to see her family, to see… But that was the danger, that in her current state she would wind up doing something awful again. But at the same time...she didn’t want to do that again. “I’ll get the next bus.”
“Hell no you won’t!” Crystal exclaimed, and Amy could hear her aunt admonishing her cousin in the background. “I’ll get your address from Mom and be there in five minutes. Get your boots and coat, and see you soon Amy!”
Amy sighed as the line clicked and went dead, closing her phone. Well, guess she was going to a family dinner tonight. She rose and walked to her bedroom, sparing a glance at her bed that was far too large for just one person. With a shake of her head, Amy turned her attention to the closet. She shoved aside the clothes that weren’t hers, focusing on the ones left that were.
She changed quickly, shedding her sweaty work clothes and into some fresh underwear. She considered a skirt for half a second before remembering she would be flying and that didn’t exactly mix well. Instead she opted for a pair of slim fitting jeans and a dark red, knit sweater. Amy went to the bathroom and spent a couple minutes running her fingers through her hair, making it look at least like she cared for it.
By the time she was done, her phone had already buzzed twice with texts, so she raced from the bathroom and threw on her jacket and boots. Amy texted an apology to Crystal as she ran down the stairs. How she managed to mess this up already was—
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“Hey Amy,” Crystal greeted her with a bright smile and a cheery wave. “Nice jacket, where’d you get it?”
“Um.” Amy froze, staring at her cousin. God she was fucked up, for a second she looked like— “Yeah, thanks, it’s just from some place in the mall.”
“Which mall?” Crystal asked, cocking her head.
“I...don’t know,” she replied, shrugging. “Sorry.” Her cousin giggled and shook her head.
“It’s fine, was a bit of a long shot anyway,” Crystal said easily. “Ready to go? We’re heading straight to Aunt Carol’s, Mom’s taking the car so the ride home won’t be so...brisk.” Amy shivered and nodded sharply.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Crystal scooped Amy up, and her stomach lurched as they rose rapidly into the skies over Brockton Bay. They didn’t go too high, the snow made visibility iffy, but the feeling of flying again was… Amy hadn’t realized how much she had missed it. Despite the cold, the snow, and her general state, she enjoyed the flight home.
Home… Her stomach twisted as they touched down outside of it. Not Amy’s home, not anymore; but with the warm light shining from the windows and the Christmas lights glowing she could pretend like it was 2007 and everything was okay…just for tonight.
“Hey Auntie Carol,” Crystal greeted the woman when she opened the door. She gave her a quick hug, then stepped aside. “I brought a guest, hope that’s okay.”
“Ah, hello Amy,” Carol said. She...didn’t sound happy. “Are you doing alright?”
“I’m fine,” Amy replied quickly. “Um, sorry, didn’t mean to show up unannounced. I can go if—”
“No, it’s good to see you.” To Amy’s shock, she sounded genuine. “Please, come in and get warm, dinner won’t be long at all.”
“Okay, um, thanks Mom,” Amy mumbled, ducking her head and walking in behind Crystal.
She kicked off her boots and hung her jacket in the closet, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm herself down a little. It smelled like Christmas, and it made her want to cry. Amy held herself together though, she’d cried herself dry over the last week and wasn’t about to ruin the evening for everyone else. Bad enough she’d spent so long blubbering to Crystal and—
“Hey kiddo.” She started and recoiled, heart racing. Her face went scarlet as she realized it was just her dad, now wearing a look of concern along with his ‘Flash the Bang’ apron. “Whoa, you okay sweetheart? You look a little pale.”
“I’m okay,” Amy said shakily. “Really just...not used to flying, that’s all. Kind of jittery.”
“Ahh, alright.” He smiled kindly and gripped her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s good to see you Amy. We were going to invite you and Lia over for presents tomorrow, if you weren’t busy.” Amy felt her throat start to close and shook her head.
“No, it’s alright, don’t want to impose,” she replied, forcing a smile onto her face. “What’s for dinner? It smells great.”
“Oh, the usual ham,” Dad said, leading her into the kitchen. “Shouldn’t be long now. Want to help with the biscuits?”
“Sure.”
It was something to hopefully keep her mind off...everything. She was back home for the holidays and it felt...nice. Crystal had been nice, Dad seemed like he was having a good day, and even Mom hadn’t seemed that standoffish. Maybe everyone was just trying to enjoy the holidays. Well, Amy would just try to avoid ruining them.
Fortunately, working in the kitchen helped take her mind off things. Biscuits weren’t a regular part of her meals, but it wasn’t unlike making bread with…it wasn’t unlike making bread. Despite how terribly her week had gone, Amy found a smile creeping onto her face as she worked. The kitchen was warm, filled with the sounds of Christmas music and the smells of delicious food. The noise from happy conversations and laughter filtered through from the living room. It felt like home.
She helped her dad set the table while the biscuits cooked in the oven. The ham seemed smaller than usual, but then again they didn’t have as many places at the table as usual. It still looked delicious, and Amy could feel her mouth watering at the sight. Dad left and called everyone in while Amy got the biscuits out of the oven and set them on the table with a dish of warm butter.
“Oh this looks great Uncle Mark!” Crystal said brightly as she came into the dining room.
“Hello Amy,” Aunt Sarah said, giving her a smile. “It’s good to see you.”
“Hey Aunt Sarah,” Amy replied, offering a smaller smile in return. “It’s um, it’s good to be here.” The rest of her family took their seats. Victoria barely spared her a glance before taking the seat furthest away...of course.
Fortunately, that was as bad as things got during dinner. Everyone else just seemed happy to enjoy the holidays and a little bit of quality time together. The food tasted better than any meal she’d had in recent memory, almost enough to make her weep. Amy held herself back though, she didn’t want to make things more awkward than she had just by being here.
“That was wonderful Mark,” Mom said with a warm smile. “And I appreciate you being here Amy, unexpected as it was.”
“Sorry,” Amy said quickly, ducking her head.
“Is Lia okay?” Victoria asked, making a lump grow in Amy’s throat.
“She’s…” Amy swallowed hard. “She’s fine. Um, please excuse me.”
She fled the table as fast as she could, tears already leaking from her traitorous eyes. Fortunately the bathroom wasn’t too far, and Amy locked herself inside and threw on the tap. She sat heavily on the toilet seat, face in her hands as she tried to not break down. God, fucking everything was too much, and it wasn’t like Vick—
“Amy?” Victoria’s voice filtered through the door, making her start. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Amy replied shakily, wiping her eyes. “Just...had to go.” There was a long, heavy pause.
“I’m sorry,” Vicky said at last. “I...I didn’t know about you and...you know. I just...I get it, so I’m sorry okay?” Vicky was apologizing? That...that didn’t make any sense. “Do you, I don’t know, do you maybe want to talk about it with someone who kind of gets it?”
“Is that—” Amy bit her lip, eyes flicking from the door to the floor. “Is that okay?”
“It’s fine,” her sister replied, sounding a little tense. “Just...yeah, come on.”
Amy rose from the toilet and padded over to the door, slowly pushing it open. Victoria beckoned for her to follow, and they headed upstairs, away from the rest of their family. Amy kept her distance, a few feet behind her sister. She wouldn’t do anything to make Victoria uncomfortable, not when she’d already done so much to her…
“Here’s fine,” Victoria said quietly, pausing outside Amy’s old room. “So...Crystal told me Lia broke up with you.” Amy grit her teeth as a lump grew in her throat, nodding slowly. “I’m sorry Amy, really I am. I...I broke up with Dean not too long ago, so I know how it feels.”
“You and Dean...you broke up?” Amy asked shakily.
“We did.” Amy winced as her sister scowled, a look of utter fury. “He...he lied to me about something important. I couldn’t stay with him, not after that.” Victoria took a deep breath and shut her eyes, then let out a heavy sigh. “I’m just...do you want to talk about it?”
Amy did.
“Thanks again Vicky,” Amy said quietly as she got her boots and jacket on. “I’m...just thanks.”
“It’s alright,” Victoria replied, offering a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes; but she was smiling. “It was okay talking to you.”
“Yeah,” Amy agreed, hiding a smile of her own as she ducked her head and did up her laces.
“It was great to see you sweetheart.” Mark said when she rose, opening his arms. She eagerly accepted the hug, though it made her feel like a little kid again. “Thanks for the help with dinner.”
“I barely did anything,” she mumbled into her dad’s chest as she squeezed him tight.
“You could have sat watching and I’d have been happy to have you there,” he replied.
“Thanks,” she said, pulling away with a smile on her face.
“Amazing dinner as always Mark,” Aunt Sarah said, giving him a hug of her own. “Thanks again for hosting, Carol.”
“It’s no trouble Sarah,” Mom replied, smiling. “It was good to see you too, Amy. Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night.”
“It’s fine,” Amy said quickly, shaking her head and glancing at Victoria, who looked deeply uncomfortable with the idea. “Really, I’ll just...I don’t know, go home I guess.”
“You can stay with us,” Crystal offered. “We have a spare room, and it would be nice to have a bit more of a crowd for Christmas.”
“I don’t want to impose,” she replied. “Really it’s fine, I’ll be okay.”
“Crystal’s right, it would be great to have you over,” Sarah said, putting a hand on Amy’s shoulder and smiling at her. “What’s Christmas without family?” Amy smiled as she headed out the door and got into the car with them, cheeks colouring as she stared up at the snow slowly falling from the sky.
She was glad she wouldn’t have to find out.
