“So...what’d you think?” I asked, bouncing my foot as I leaned over my coffee.

  “A lot of work to do,” Dean replied, taking a bite of his bagel. “But you did well. Kept your head, kept control of the situation, made sure your priorities were straight. It’s all stuff they’d be looking for if you were trying out for Ward captain.”

  “Don’t think they’d care we let one get away?” I said.

  “Can’t get them all,” he said with a shrug. “You prioritized security and victim care, I’d give you a high grade for that.”

  “Really? Thanks,” I said, leaning back. “I don’t know, I kind of feel bad, like we didn’t do everything we could have.”

  “What else could you do?” Dean asked.

  “I don’t know, kept chasing? You could have taken care of Esther and everything.”

  “And if more had arrived while you and the others were gone?” he countered. “There’s an old saying my dad likes: ‘discretion is the better part of valour’. I don’t think Esther would say you made the wrong choice.”

  “I guess,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “God, gonna have to talk to her on Monday.”

  “Right, you said she was your classmate,” he replied, nodding. “Are you planning on coming out to her?”

  “I...she knows I’m dating Amy?”

  “I mean about being a cape,” Dean sighed, shaking his head.

  “I…” I shook my head, biting my lip. “I don’t know. I don’t want the whole world know I wear a mask.”

  “That’s totally fair,” he said. “Just have to be careful about what you say then.”

  “Yeah, no kidding,” I muttered. “Anyway, we’ll be going out again in a few days. Want to keep working with us?”

  “Well, I would, but are you sure your team is okay with it?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.

  “I mean they didn’t seem to like me too much,” Dean said. “And if having me around is going to cause you trouble, it might be better if I take a backseat role.”

  “Don’t be dumb,” I said. “They’re adults. If they have a problem, they can talk to me about it. I might have been a little annoyed you spent most the night questioning how I did things, but we still work well together.”

  “If you’re sure,” he replied. “I appreciate that though. I hope you understand I question you to make you think about the way you’re doing things; and hopefully find a better way forward for yourself.”

  “Well...maybe just leave it for the after-action,” I said. “Not that I don’t want to get better, but that’s probably part of the reason my teammates were up your ass.”

  “I can do that,” Dean said, giving me a smile. “Thanks for setting a boundary.”

  “Sure, whatever,” I said, waving it off. “Um, so...I was wondering about gift ideas for Amy…”

  “Do tell.”

  “God I hate the mall this time of year,” Amy griped, barely audible over the crowds.

  “Sorry,” I said, pulling her through the crowd as Christmas music blasted from the speakers. “Figured we could go to the fabric store while we were here though, you haven’t been in a while, right?”

  “Because I don’t have a machine,” she grumbled. “Guess I could pick up stuff for handsewing though. Fine, whatever, let’s get whatever you came for and look through there quick.”

  “I thought we’d start there,” I said. “C’mon.”

  “Okay…”

  Amy trudged reluctantly behind me. I didn’t want to be here either, but I hadn’t managed to sort out what I was buying her. Dean had recommended some superhero merch and some books from a series she enjoyed, which sounded fine but didn’t seem like enough. Missing her birthday had been bad enough, even though she promised she’d been happy just spending a quiet night together. If I didn’t make it up to her, it’d be that much worse.

  Hopefully it would be fine. She still hadn’t said anything about the lack of presents, but that might be because she was waiting for Christmas. Not long left, time seemed to be passing too fast these days. There was just too much to do, with school, work, and trying to maintain a relationship between them.

  That was what today was about though, taking some time for us. I weaved through the crowds that packed the promenade, glancing back at Amy with a smile. She looked great, like always, dressed in a red sweater and dark-green corduroys, a scarlet kerchief tying her hair back. When she noticed me looking, she smiled back, making me blush.

  Finally, we made it into the fabric store and I let Amy take the lead. It was a lot quieter by comparison, probably not many people shopping for presents around here. The ones that were looked three times our age, though Amy didn’t seem to pay attention to them. We headed to the back and she began looking through a shelf full of bolts of cloth.

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  It was kind of boring, but I couldn’t help feeling a bit of tension in my chest. I kept my head up and swiveling, watching our backs. Sure we were in civilians, but people sometimes still came up to Amy and tried to get her to admit to being Panacea. I’d been able to chase them all off so far, but I’d rather sort it out before they even started bugging her.

  A big, red sign announcing a sale caught my eye as we turned up another aisle. With Amy distracted, I decided to entertain my idle curiosity and walked over to it. It was a stack of sewing machines, piled as high as I was tall. Dozens of makes and models, none of which I recognized. The prices seemed decent though, ranging from four to eight hundred dollars.

  They were perfect, or at least one of them would be. Of course which one it was I had no clue. There weren’t any store attendants around either, so I couldn’t ask for help. Kind of annoying, since I didn’t really want to buy one and force Amy to take it back because it was wrong or didn’t work or something. At the same time I wanted to surprise her so…

  “Hey, what are you looking at?” Amy asked as she came up behind me, slipping an arm around my back.

  “Oh, um, you know…” I said bashfully.

  “Sewing machines?” she said, looking them over. “What are…”

  “I mean, you said you don’t have one right?” I said, looking up at her. “And um, I don’t really know anything about these. I haven’t got you a present yet so...well you probably know. Pick one.” Her head snapped to look at me, then at the machines, then back to me.

  “Are you…” Amy bit her lip, looking at the floor. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I said, heart fluttering. “Pick your favourite or...or the best one, or whatever you want; and don’t look at the price tag.”

  “You’re sure?”

  I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to hers. She tried to pull away, but I held her tight for a lingering, lovely few seconds before backing off and letting her get to shopping. I stood back as she started browsing the machines, occasionally throwing glances my way.

  This had definitely been the right choice, I decided while watching her browse. Sure it wasn’t quite a surprise, not like a normal birthday, but Amy would get the present she wanted. That mattered more to me than a look of shock and excitement. Plus, I got to look at her without it being weird. Not that it was weird to enjoy looking at my girlfriend but...I probably enjoyed it a bit too much.

  “Finding everything okay?” a clerk asked me with a smile.

  “She is,” I replied, grinning and gesturing to Amy who was looking between two machines and muttering to herself.

  “Ahh, the plus one?” he asked and I nodded. “Well let us know if you need anything, okay?”

  All told, it took Amy almost thirty minutes to choose one of the sewing machines. It was a big one, almost twice the size of most the other boxes there. I helped her carry it to the register, then paid for it; still with my old accounts, Samuel hadn’t gotten my new stuff to me yet.

  It nearly came to a thousand dollars, and I had to reassure Amy that it was fine and she didn’t need to go back and get one that was half the price. After that, I hefted it with a grunt and started lugging it out of the mall, down the road to the bus stop.

  “I’m sorry, I went overboard,” Amy said as we rode the bus home, the sewing machine laid across both our laps.

  “No you didn’t,” I said, taking her hand and smiling at her. “I told you to pick the one you wanted. Did you want this one?”

  “I could have gotten a different one,” she said, looking out the window.

  “But did you want this one?”

  “...Yeah.”

  “Then I’m happy,” I said, leaning over and kissing her cheek. She looked back at me, blushing. “Happy birthmas.” She snorted and laughed, and soon I found myself joining her. We probably looked like a pair of idiots, but I didn’t care. “I love you,” I breathed when I’d finally calmed down enough.

  “Thanks,” Amy replied, briefly pressing her lips to mine. “Best gift ever.”

  Well...I couldn’t beat that.

  Reading the news was a depressing way to spend my lunch. It seemed, no matter how much work my team and the other heroes put in, there was always more pain in the world. It was important of course, I needed to keep my finger on the pulse of the city. The problem was that pulse was feeling more and more arrhythmic, thready and erratic.

  The only thing we could do was keep going though. Tattletale hadn’t contacted me yet, so either she didn’t have targets or was keeping me on the rocks until she needed some hero cover again. Whatever the case, it meant my work was cut out for me. Too bad, I’d rather spend the time finding a quiet corner with Amy and—

  “Hey.” I started as Esther sat down next to me.

  “Hi,” I said, looking her over. Her hair was messy, half-up in a bun that had fallen apart a long time ago. Her lips were chapped, eyes bloodshot and ringed with heavy bags. “Um, are you okay?”

  “I’m…” She sniffed. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I reassured her. “Do you uh, want to talk?”

  “I…yeah, if that’s okay?”

  “Sure.” I nodded, closing my laptop and turning to face her. I had a pretty good idea what was going on.

  “So, um.” Esther chewed her cracked lip, shifting in her seat. “I...you were here in the city the whole time, right?”

  “The whole...you mean after Leviathan?” She gave me a nod. “I was, yeah.”

  “How do you like, deal?” she asked, waving her hand around.

  “With what?” I said, confused. “Do you mean how I survived?”

  “I guess that’s part of it,” Esther sighed. “My family stayed with our cousins in New York, so I missed the worst of it. But you were right here, right?”

  “Yeah,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “It was...I’d say it was a nightmare, but I have those and they don’t really compare. As for how I did it, I guess I’ve got a rabbit’s foot attached to my soul or something.” Or a parasite in my brain that refused to let me stay dead...the fucker.

  “What about after?” she asked. “You mentioned nightmares?”

  “Oh, um, yeah,” I said. “I don’t know, you just...get used to it I guess. Having Amy around helps too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Oh um, we’ve been living together for a while now,” I explained. “Sorry, that probably doesn’t help you though.”

  “No but...it’s good to hear,” Esther said, offering a weak smile. “Who knows, maybe I’ll find someone who’ll actually like me and—” Her voice broke as tears began to trail down her cheeks.

  “Shhhit I’m sorry Esther,” I said, reaching out and putting my arm around her shoulders.

  She clung to herself tightly as she took rapid, shuddering breaths. I murmured reassurances to her, not really certain what else I could do. She wasn’t Amy, so a lot of what I knew was a little...intimate. Still, after a few minutes her breathing slowed and she wiped her eyes.

  “Sorry,” Esther whispered.

  “Hey, it’s alright,” I said gently. “You’re going to be okay. It’s tough, but it does get easier, believe me.”

  “Okay,” she said, voice small. She shivered and pulled away from me. “Um, sorry, you have a girlfriend.”

  “Yeah? We weren’t doing anything,” I said with a shrug. She eyed me, but gave a nod as the bell rung. “Ah crap, see you later?”

  “Yeah, see you.”

  I packed up my laptop and started heading to class. It sucked I couldn’t help Esther out more than I had back there, but I couldn’t really come out and say ‘hey I know all about what happened’ either. Hopefully she had someone to talk to, friends or family, who could actually help. Besides, comfort wasn’t really something I was good at giving.

  No, my job was making sure things like that didn’t happen again.