Gods, I know you are ughing.

  Knowing when I will fail and suffer

  Only to stop me when it affects the heavens

  The Academy of Arcane Magic was once a grand old castle that belonged to a great old wizard whose name was said in css, but I was not paying enough attention to remember. It was transformed into an institution for teaching magic, and it is much rger than it appears from the outside, with space for every aspect of magic to study. The Academy’s hallways were full of wonder, creativity, and desire to know more. Csses include alchemy, runic studies, wizardry, transmutation, theurgy, magic history, magic arts, illusions, evocation, abjuration, conjuration, or summoning, however, you want to call it. There are also enchantment csses, magical creature biology and zoology, druidic, sorcery origin, bardic, herbalism, botany, talismans, astrology, and many more that my tongue will fall off first before I name all of them. If you want to study a type of magic, the Academy has a css for it, and the Grand Library will have the topics you are looking for. Anyone can learn magic; it is free and accessible, except when one of the past headmasters of the academy had a brilliant idea to add some death trials to the requirements for getting accepted into the academy, consisting of high-mortality challenges. There were no new students that year. The magic council intervened in the trials and forced the people behind the idea to undergo the deadly trials. There were new job openings at the academy that year.

  In Professor Lanceote's intermediate transmutation css, everyone thought I was a new student. Their eyes were fixed on me as if I were the honored guest at a fancy ball dance, where I would be judged on my impeccable manners. The cursed book in the pockets of my robe felt eerie the moment I entered the room. This was the css I was supposed to bring the demon’s bane to, but I have a perfectly good excuse if they ask me where my assignment is.

  “Oh, it seems we have a new student I wasn't aware of. Who might you be, dear?” Professor Lanceote asked me.

  She was a sweet old dy, but a devout believer in the goddess of Nature Verdant, assuming by the pendant with the goddess symbol she is wearing. I need to be wary of those who mainly worship that goddess, they might not be so friendly with my new look. Although Cassia also believes in Mother Nature…

  The students in the cssroom all had their eyes on the new girl. Me, in front of the css. They did not even allow me to sit in my seat. Even Julius had sharp eyes on me. I haven’t seen him since that night in the alchemy boratory. I also need to be wary of him, being the son of the captain of the guards of Dimhlem city. I knew this was going to happen, and I was prepared for it. Yet it did not make it any easier. I know what I need to say… But I felt trapped in my body again, incapable of expressing who I am. This was a bad idea, I should not have come to css. This is a huge step. The sudden fp of Zephyr's wings stopped my train of thought. They nded on my shoulder and gave me a nod.

  “Alex, is that you?” Professor Lanceote asked, fixing her gsses this time. The other students were whispering and murmuring around me, making me anxious. Yet I remained steadfast in my decision, knowing it was too te to back down anyway.

  “Yes, Professor, it is me,” I confessed, wearing a mantle of fake confidence.

  “I can vouch for her,” said Cassia, sitting at her desk.

  “Oh, what a surprise this is.” She gasped. “Was a gender-bending potion to you in the potion assignment?” she asked.

  “No, it was a demon’s bane potion. But what happened was that the potion needed bloodroot, and the alchemy boratory ran out of it, and there wasn’t any left in the whole Academy. So when I was packing my things and giving up, the demon attacked that night, and in the explosion, a variety of potions and ingredients fell on me. As a result, I transformed into a female and was ill for a week, my body struggling to cope with the effects of the potions. All of the potion effects have gone away, but I remain like this for some reason.”

  After I said that, I hoped the goddess Crescent, who had a domain over arcane magic, would not break my illusion spell right then and there for lying this much. I assumed it was because it was daytime and not nighttime when she would have taken full notice of this bsphemy. I could have come up with a better lie than that, but I had already told Cassia that a bunch of potions fell on me. So I had to keep my story straight. Wait, now that I think about it…

  “Oh, that's awful. Don’t worry about the assignment, the Academy staff has decided to cancel any alchemy work for the time being. We still haven’t gotten anything from the alchemy professor. He is still feeling ill at his home. Now that I see you, it would be quite a scene if that happened to him, and that’s why he hasn’t responded yet.” Professor Lanceote giggled. “Ah, sorry, Alex. I didn’t want to make fun of your situation. May our Mother Nature Verdant bless you and remove that curse from you,” she apologized.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t mind being like this. I actually prefer it.” I murmur the st part, hoping nobody heard it. Who am I kidding? They know I like being like this. I look down at myself. No sane man cursed to be a woman and would not try to find a way to turn back.

  The other students chattered and gossiped again. Suddenly, there was a loud ‘thunk’ on the floor that left everyone silent. Everyone turned around to see what had caused the noise. Cassia had smacked the floor with her staff, like an angry grandma silencing their noisy grandkids. She seemed startled for a moment as everyone looked at her. She did it impulsively and was now thinking about what she should do next.

  “Uh- Whoever has a problem with Alex being a woman. Eh- you are going to have a problem with me as well,” she warned.

  I was as shocked as the other students. Cassia was the sweetest girl I had known. I never expected her to threaten people to defend me. Nor stand up to me like she did. I expected Zephyr to do it, not her. Maybe she is not a faithful believer in the goddess of nature.

  “Cassia, that’s nice that you're supporting Alex, but please don’t smack the floor with your staff,” the professor scolded her.

  Cassia nodded timidly. The css then continued as usual afterward. I still felt some of the students' gaze on me. Zephyr, in return, stared at them back from my shoulder.

  The students at the academy didn't seem to mind that I was a woman now; they were mostly shocked. They said it was a sudden, drastic change. Usually, transformations like mine were temporary, unless you were cursed. But they haven’t connected the dots yet. I wonder if, because I look complete and normally female, they haven’t made such a fuss about it compared to how I expected. Maybe if I didn’t have a curse turning me into a woman and were just a born man wearing a dress, they would have a harsher opinion.

  The other csses went as expected, I got asked a bunch of questions by students and professors. One ballsy student told me if my chest was real. Zephyr proceeded to rain lightning on him. One of the girls complimented my hair, which made me feel so relieved of my hard work of stressing over my hair in the morning. Maybe I was overreacting. Coming out to the Academy wasn’t as bad as I expected. It is a magic academy after all. I know it would not be the same if I came out to the capital or my family…

  ***

  At lunch, Cassia saved me a seat at her table in the cafeteria. She was already eating with Oliver and his friends, whom I do not know well. They take csses with me, but we only do small talk. I sat down next to her, crossing my ankles like a dy. Cassia talked about her experience of being transformed into a cat the other day and how she knew how to move in her new body, even if she had never been a cat. I, for some reason, find how to rete.

  “Alex, how has your return to the real world outside your dorm been?” She asked.

  “Csses were about the same, and I got some good pointers for practicing illusion magic. I'm surprised that I’m quite good at it.” I said in between bites of my food. “This tastes amazing,” I say, taking another bite. The cafeteria food is better than training camp food will ever be. Because even if it’s a magic academy, they have actual cooks who prepare the meals. Unlike in the army, they just conjure food that cks any real fvor. I prefer bread rations over mass-conjured food any day. That’s why I haven’t even bothered to learn any spell that makes food; it just tastes awful. It is believed that the reason food made by magic tastes bad is because it was not naturally harvested, which angers the goddess of nature, making any food made by magic taste bad.

  “Alex, that is not what I meant,” she said, looking up and down at my body.

  “Ah, didn’t want to talk about it because it’s a bit embarrassing, but-” I paused to eat a bit of my pte as I felt my chest burning up. “It is going better than I expected. I have been nervous all day, but Zephyr hasn’t left my side.” I pause, having noticed my cheerful yet anxious feminine tone of voice. “It has been tense, I admit. Maybe I should have hidden myself more, rather than coming out so openly. I can’t help but feel that people will not accept me, since they are so used to the old me, they expect my past version. Also, I'm scared that people might say that I was corrupted or influenced by the demons. People have been afraid of every little change they say is demonic. Everyone has treated me well, even if some have prayed for me to be turned back.” I bite down on some more of my food. “It was annoying how I had to come out and tell them who I was in every css. Now that I think about it would have been more difficult if I started going by another name. But I haven’t thought about it. Despite all of that, it is nice being me. I like myself, and it is worth it. Now other people are finally able to see the real me.”

  Cassia was quiet, with somewhat of a confused look on her face. “Alex, that's great. But why are you so worried about whether people will accept you or not? I know being accepted is important but screw what other people think. That also includes the thinking that you were influenced by the demons. That’s just the darkness of the demons putting insecurity in you and others. We don't have to worry about any demons. They are gone now,” she brushed off nonchantly. As if she did not almost get blown up yesterday. For a moment, I got concerned about her carefreeness and then envied it a bit. “Another thing is that you seem so much brighter now! Sure, it's an amazing change. I prefer this version of you to what I thought of you, I never would imagine you being- well,” she cut herself off to stare up to think.

  “Well, I…” I raised my head to look at people in the cafeteria, none of them looked aggressive toward me. Maybe Cassia is right, there is no reason for me to fear anyone. “I guess you are right. I just have some issues,” I dismissed.

  “Sorry, I didn’t hear. I was thinking about something. What did you say?”

  “And you make fun of me for spacing out. Don’t worry, it was nothing,” I murmur.

  “Hey, does anybody know what happened to Professor Oleander? He has not given csses for a few days, and students say they have not seen him in the academy.” Oliver spoke over me from the other side of the table.

  I wonder how much he heard about my conversation or if he was paying any attention to it.

  “They say he has been sick for the past few days, not leaving his home. I saw his house one time with my aunt when we were taking a stroll. It's a remote, cute cottage with a big garden outside the city.” Cassia answered.

  “Maybe a demon got him,” said Julius, sitting down at the table. “It could have gotten him when the alchemy boratory was destroyed. Oliver and I saw the demon when it attacked. Maybe that thing got hold of him and drank his blood before we saw it,” he concluded.

  “Then it would have been a vampire. Demons don’t drink blood, and if the demon got the professor, the academy would have announced his casualty.” Cassia corrected him.

  “Still, demons eat humans; maybe they needed his blood to summon more demons or get more power,” Oliver commented. “Who even was the st person who was at the boratory then?”

  All eyes moved on me. The now female student who was not seen all this time until today. The one who has a cursed book containing blood magic and is currently hiding behind illusion magic.

  “Well, I was up until te at night, but I left before the attack. I left when I got a bunch of potions and felt sick. That's how I end up like this,” I pointed at myself. At that moment, I prayed to whatever god saw in the current situation and blessed me with divine charisma. “I never saw the demon; I was on my way to my dorm when the explosion happened. Zephyr can vouch for me,” I point at them on my shoulder. They nodded in response. “Didn’t they say the guards already killed the demon? It would be pretty bad, Julius, if your dad, the captain of the guards, said he killed the demon to get credit when he didn’t,” I said, trying to get any suspension off me.

  “Maybe so, but there might be more demons out there,” said Julius.

  They did not say it, but their eyes did. Everyone thought I was the prime suspect now. I was certain. Especially Julius, he did not remove his eyes from me for even a second. At least Cassia believes me, even if she is a bit na?ve. Now I have to make another eborate scheme to fake my death again to convince them I'm not a demon. Then I realized that I was overcomplicating this again, I just needed to break the curse before they found that it was me.