The dirt buried its way into fifteen-year-old Daphne’s fingernails. She yanked hard on the stems of the yellow mums that were growing out of her mother’s garden bed. They tore, but the root ball still wasn’t coming up with them. Yellow petals were crushed into the dirt all around the plant as Daphne squeezed the yellow flowers off of their stems.

  I hope she’ll be completely unable to salvage this plant. Daphne wiped away some of the tears streaming down her face, leaving her with streaks of mud. How dare she not let me join a single after school activity? A sob caught in Daphne’s throat and she pushed it back down, causing her to make a bit of a strangled noise. All of my other siblings are allowed to be in after school activities. Why not me? Why do I have to sit at home and suffer while everyone else gets to have a fun time?

  Daphne gritted her teeth as she pulled at the plant again, managing to only pull up leaves. She slapped them into the dirt, burying some of the yellow petals.

  She and her two best friends had spent hours figuring out what extracurricular activity the three of them were going to join together. Daphne had been overjoyed. It had already been a battle to find new friends after moving school districts right before high school. But she had also never even been involved in any extracurricular activities. She had always envied the girls who got to be in dance or choir.

  Yet, when she had gone and asked her mother if she could join choir in high school, her mother had simply said no. “We don’t have enough money for you to be involved in any extracurricular activities,” her mother had said. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

  Bullshit. Daphne pulled at the plant again. She wins gardening contests all the time. We live in an enormous house now. And she doesn’t have the money to let me join after school choir? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!

  Daphne yanked hard at the plant again. It’s root ball was finally starting to give way an come up out of the dirt.

  She’s just a selfish bitch, just as she’s always been. She’s just going to spend the money on her plants, just as she always has! Why do I have to sacrifice everything for mother? Am I supposed to just rot away so she can be happy?

  The plant came up out of the dirt. Daphne smiled at the roots, dangling with dirt in her hand, still having tears escape from her eyes.

  Why am I never good enough for her? Daphne turned to the next plant, a purple chrysanthemum. She began tearing off the flowers so she would be able to get at the body and the root of the plant.

  Why will she never acknowledge me? Why do I live in this family as if I’m an invisible slave?

  She looked at the crushed purple flowers in her hands. Blood smeared where she had dug her fingernails into her palms to pull out the previous flowers mixed with the dirt on her hands, and some flower petals.

  I should just run away and disappear. That is what Mother probably wants from me anyway. If I just left, we would all probably end up happier. Daphne gritted her teeth, yanking at the next plant. I’m never going to get it right anyway. I’m never going to be able to compare to my siblings, no matter how hard I try.

  Glass shattered next to Daphne’s face, near the house. Her cheek stung, and she felt granules of glass cut her arm, too. What the fuck? She turned and saw a shattered vase on the ground next to her, crystal glass littering the edge of the garden bed where she had been kneeling only a few minutes earlier. Daphne touched her cheek, noticing the blood on her hand where she had touched it.

  Daphne stood, and whirled around, to see her mother across the garden, panting heavily, her face filled with rage.

  Did she just throw a vase at me?

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Kimberly screeched at Daphne. “You’re ripping up my flowers?”

  “Fuck you!” Daphne shouted back, taking a couple of steps towards her mother. “Fuck you and your stupid flowers!”

  Glass shattered on the pavement in front of Daphne, stopping her in her tracks. Her feet in her sandals were peppered with little cuts.

  She looked back at her mother. There was no one else who could possibly be throwing the vases at Daphne.

  Daphne shuddered. Thank God her aim is so bad. If that had hit me in the leg, I could have died.

  “How dare you try to murder your own child!” Daphne shouted at her mother, gritting her teeth.

  She probably wasn’t actually trying to kill me, right?

  Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  “Not that I’d be surprised if you are trying to kill me, since you’re doing everything you can to make my life hell in every other way possible.”

  “You don’t think you make my life hell?” Kimberly screeched back.

  Tears were starting to flow from Daphne’s eyes again, against her will. “Don’t you think you should at least try to hide that you don’t love me?” Daphne replied. “We both know that I would have been better off in an orphanage that living under your roof for eighteen-years, but there’s no need to make it so obvious.”

  Kimberly laughed at Daphne’s words. “Don’t you think I feel the same way?” she asked, a malicious smirk on her face. “My life would have been much better off if I hadn’t given birth to such a little devil. Don’t you know how much I do for you? I feed you, clothe you, put a roof over your head…and how am I repaid? By you killing my flowers?”

  Daphne scoffed at her mother. “So you do the bare minimum and expect the highest praise?”

  Kimberly scowled at Daphne, her face full of contempt. “How dare you destroy my flowers!” Kimberly shrieked at Daphne. “How could you? That’s a source of income for this family. Do you think we all deserve to suffer because of your actions?”

  “As if we all haven’t suffered because of your actions,” Daphne shot back.

  Kimberly threw another vase, this one, heading straight towards Daphne’s head. She managed to duck out of the way, and the crystal shattered behind her.

  “I planted those flowers three years ago. They had finally hit the age where I could show them off in a contest!”

  Daphne gritted her teeth. “Are you really trying to kill me?” she asked.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” Kimberly screeched back. “You’re killing my beloved flowers!”

  Daphne felt as though all of the wind had been knocked out of her. “So you love your flowers more than you love your own daughter?”

  Kimberly let out a sharp laugh. “Flowers are so much easier to deal with than you. The choice is obvious.”

  Daphne’s heart was pulverized, and she fell to the ground, scraping her knees on the pavement. I mean nothing to her. Daphne’s lungs felt like they were collapsing.

  Will it always be my fate to be overlooked like this? Am I doomed to always beg for the bare minimum?

  Kimberly smiled a little, observing her defeated daughter. Daphne closed her eyes. No, I can’t let that happen. I’ve been fighting against the current my mother controls my whole life. Fighting has gotten me nowhere. It’s time to comply. Maybe if I bend over backwards for her, and do everything she asks, I’ll finally be able to get what I want. That’s the only thing that will make my life bearable and easy. Daphne bit her lower lip as she watched her mother walk away from her, silent sobs wracking her body. When will it be my turn to be happy?

  ~

  Daphne woke up in the darkness with a start. Tanpopo mewed at her at the end of her bed, and she met his eyes in the darkness. Daphne brought her hand to her chest, where she could feel her heart rapidly beating underneath her skin. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart. She shivered, the looks of hatred on her mother’s face stuck in her mind.

  Daphne reached down to the end of the bed, petting Tanpopo’s fur. He started purring gently, and she threaded her fingers into his fluffy body, enjoying the sensation of his fur between her fingers. “I love you, bud,” she murmured.

  I can’t believe I forgot that happened. Daphne continued to pet Tanpopo. That was the day when mother finally broke my spirit. She felt a tear sneak out of a corner of one of her eyes. My mother literally tried to kill me.

  Daphne swallowed hard, trying to remember if she had stood up to her mother ever since.

  I don’t know if I did or not. What I do know is that the resolution I made that day, most certainly, is the thing that made it possible for me to make it through the rest of the years while I was living under her roof.

  Daphne sniffled and Tanpopo got up and span in a circle. He plopped down on her toes, still purring. She scratched his ears. I sacrificed myself and my happiness just to ensure I would be able to survive. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know what I want to do with my life…

  She gnashed her teeth together, the tears free flowing now. So many of the problems I have had as an adult boil down to the results of interactions I had with my mother in the past. She wiped her tears, pulling herself closer to Tanpopo. What would my life have looked like if I had been born to a loving mother instead of one who was dead set on destroying me?

  Daphne laid her head on her knees, drawing little circles with her pointer finger in Tanpopo’s fur. I know that my circumstances brought Asher and I together, but my current happiness doesn’t diminish the pain of my past.

  Though her heart had slowed to it’s normally steady rhythm, it ached in her chest. She hasn’t changed a bit. She remembered how her mother had thrown her dinner knife at where Maggie had been standing at their family Thanksgiving. I don’t know how many times I have to relearn this lesson before I’m finally going to know for sure, wholeheartedly, that Kimberly Woods is who she is.

  Daphne shook her head. At least I finally know, for sure, that it’s not about me. It’s never been about me. Kimberly’s behavior has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her.

  Daphne pressed her lips together tightly as one of the tears got close, threatening to enter her mouth. She sniffled loudly. I need to walk away again…this time for good. She’s dangerous, and I may end up putting myself in danger again a different way if I continue to have a relationship with her. Daphne wiped her eyes. I’m pretty sure the killer is Rose…so I no longer need to keep Mother close to find out who murdered me before I came back to the past.

  Daphne looked up, balancing her chin on her knees as she gently stroked the dark shape of Tanpopo’s body again. I cannot, and will never be…able to find long-term, sustainable happiness as long as I stay in contact with my mother, Daphne decided. The two are just mutually incompatible.

  Daphne felt her heart twinge. I think I’ve always known. But I was never willing to accept it. She swallowed hard. But knowing what I know now…all the additional dark secrets she was hiding from all of us…Remembering some of the horrible things in the past that occurred between her and I that I had forgotten…I have to accept the truth unequivocally. There is no future relationship possibility between my mother and I. If I want to be happy, I have to walk away.

  Daphne let out a sob into the darkness. Goodbye, woman who should have been my mother. Goodbye.