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Chapter 4: Of Fake Catgirls and Fake Gods

  ...

  …

  [A few days ter…]

  "Hmm? What's this?" Astel (as Aster) asked curiously while hovering around Albedo's workstation, his eyes inspecting the potion Albedo had just effortlessly created.

  "A simple advanced Recovery Potion," Albedo answered while pcing the potion into a box next to eleven others. He smiled slightly as the box closed itself before disappearing with a pop. "Why the sudden interest?"

  "Well… I guess I'm curious about what each potion of yours does. There are so many types, you know?" Aster responded thoughtfully, humming as Albedo began cleaning up after himself. The discarded remains all disappeared with a pop as Albedo merely blinked and nodded in thanks.

  "Interested in Potion Making?" Albedo asked, slightly surprised at Aster's interest in Alchemy. After all, he was the best Delivery Man.

  "Kinda! It would be neat if I learned how to make potions and spread them across Teyvat on the side while delivering stuff," Aster noted thoughtfully while summoning one of the potions Albedo had given him a few days ago in case he got hurt. "I think many people would be safer if they had access to potions."

  "... You care about the people of this world?" Albedo asked curiously and with slight puzzlement.

  "Of course I do!" Aster answered seriously, crossing his arms to look serious. This only made Albedo suppress a smile at the sight. "I like this world. I don't want its people to disappear."

  Albedo hummed at Aster's answer, acquiescing to his point without much protest.

  "Plus, more people means more deliveries, right? If the potions allow people to work more and stay safe, there's a higher chance they'll eventually use our services." Aster's bright smile suddenly turned mischievous as he expined further, leaving Albedo stunned at Aster's sudden change of priorities.

  "Is that so?" Albedo eventually asked amusedly. "I suppose that's your business sense speaking as the Ultimate Delivery Man…"

  Aster stared bnkly at Albedo as he called him by that moniker again, still unsure why it had stuck so thoroughly. His deadpan slowly faded as Albedo nodded to himself and turned away, picking up a paper to begin writing the letter he'd send to Jean.

  "Sure… By the way, I was meaning to thank you!" Aster slowly hovered over to Albedo's side with his bright smile back on his face, confusing Albedo. "Your letter of introduction to Jean helped me quite a lot! Our new cooperation with the Knights of Favonius has been very fruitful."

  "Ah… That's it, huh?" Albedo nodded in understanding before shaking his head dismissively while hiding a smile. "It was nothing. Like you… I, too, needed someone's endorsement to get my position in the Knights of Favonius. I simply returned the favor."

  "No need to be so humble.~" Aster deadpanned wryly, taking the letter Albedo handed him and fist-bumping him simultaneously, surprising Albedo with the gesture. "You did me a huge favor either way. Thank you, Albedo."

  "... Yeah. It's no problem." Albedo turned away quietly, staring at his hand, seeming quite puzzled.

  "If you ever need anything, you know how to contact me. I need to pick up a few deliveries to Favonius HQ before I'm free for a while." Astel informed him while waving with the hand holding the letter before he stored it away and winked at Albedo. "I wouldn't mind making a few food deliveries for free if you're ever craving anything. I've made enough millions for the boss to get away with it.~"

  "I'll keep that in mind." Albedo didn't take him up on the offer right away, choosing to simply nod as Aster smiled and disappeared with a pop.

  Albedo sighed as Aster disappeared, silently staring at the area he was previously in for a few seconds before moving to a bookshelf and taking a few books.

  "Where did I pce it…?" He muttered thoughtfully before humming as he found what he was looking for.

  'Potion Making for Dummies! Vol. 1'

  …

  …

  [Aster POV – Liyue Harbor]

  Astel hummed happily as he appeared atop an isoted roof in Liyue, quickly moving to the ground and making his way to where he needed to gather the st few packages.

  It's been a few weeks since the encounter with Lumine. Just as Astel expected, Mondstadt's plot was not as rushed as it actually was in the game. The entire Archon Quest spanned about three to four days in the game, but it hasn't all happened right away here.

  Lumine and Venti have yet to steal the Lyre whose name he's forgotten, whoopsie.~

  Unless there was some sort of deviation, it should happen soon. Astel has seen Lumine going around Mondstadt with Paimon, doing commissions at the Adventurer's Guild, and integrating herself into the world of Teyvat, as she shouldn't be very accustomed to it yet.

  After st time's oopsie, he isn't pnning to approach her soon. Nothing good will come from two of their kind sticking together, or so Astel thinks.

  Not that he cares much about any of that stuff. In the end, all that matters is for him to have fun.~

  Aster hummed happily as he took out a few expensive snacks he had purchased with his newly acquired wealth. He snacked on the pastries and candies without any care for the consequences of his actions, as he didn't expect to have any trouble again retrieving the packages.

  He suddenly blinked in surprise as he walked, feeling his head buzzing again for the first time in a few days. Something fun is happening.~

  Entering the commercial area, Astel was surprised to find Liyue's very own (fake) catgirl standing in the designated spot where he must pick up the packages. The Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing, Keqing, stood impatiently while looking around in search of someone, a frown on her face, likely at having to wait.

  Astel dismissed the snacks he was eating just a moment before locking eyes with her, saving himself from the terrible first impression he would've shown if she saw him coming to work with food in his hands.

  Workaholic women… Astel sighed.

  Wait, Jean was his friend. He can't compin!

  "You there! Are you the one supposedly sent by the Knights of the Favonius to handle the delivery of these goods to Mondstadt?" Keqing quickly called out once she saw Aster approaching her location, her eyebrows furrowing as her frown deepened.

  "That's me! I haven't seen you here before. Did the group that usually receives me get sick today?" Aster answered with a bright smile, tilting his head inquisitively. Keqing sputtered and scrunched her nose at the mere insinuation.

  "Of course not. I am Keqing, Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing." She quickly denied in annoyance before sighing. "I am usually in charge of Real Estate and Construction in Liyue Harbor, but unfortunately, my fellow Qixing was unavaible today."

  "That's neat." Aster nodded thoughtlessly without a single active brain cell inside his head, leaving Keqing dumbfounded at his nonchance. "So, where are the merchants I need to speak to like usual?"

  "... That is precisely why I have been summoned here." Keqing's puzzlement quickly faded as her eyes sharpened at Aster. "There have been numerous compints regarding a new trading company that has taken over the deliveries of all merchants headed to Mondstadt."

  Ah, right, that.

  So, many people weren't happy about having to send back the Mora they were given to deliver the goods to Mondstadt. Usually, in a situation like this, they'd get to keep the Mora and goods until the problem in Monstadt was dealt with, as the conditions were too 'dangerous' for them to travel there easily.

  But then Aster arrived! As he was capable of delivering the stuff safely and in a timely manner, the Knights could cancel their contracts with the merchants, as they couldn't deliver the goods as promised, and entrust them to Astel to deliver instead.

  Usually, they wouldn't be able to do this as they were kinda at the mercy of the merchants, but Aster ruined all of that!

  So, to summarize everything, the greedy merchants are throwing a hissy fit!

  "Okay? I… don't care." Aster answered promptly with the same bright smile and a slow blink as Keqing's eyebrow twitched in befuddlement. "I have all of the documents required to retrieve the packages. The Mora has already been delivered. The opinions of the merchants are meaningless."

  "... While that may be true, the merchants have raised a few valid concerns." Keqing slowly nodded at Aster's words before frowning again and narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "They have reported that you, after picking up the first shipment of goods, arrive the day after and retrieve the next shipment immediately while stating that you finished delivering the ones before."

  Ah, what an annoyance…

  Usually, it takes weeks for any shipment or wares leaving Liyue Harbor to reach Mondstadt, so the merchants are kicking up a fuss using that, as it wouldn't normally be possible for someone to deliver that much merchandise in that short amount of time.

  They're basically ciming that Aster is a con artist who secretly took away the goods for himself while ciming that he delivered them to Mondstadt.

  Aster sighed in exhaustion and shook his head, ignoring the confused Keqing, who was still waiting for a response to her unsaid accusation.

  "... That was because I did deliver the goods that fast. As you may know, the Knights of Favonius are currently facing Stormterror and urgently need their supplies. They have paid for my company's exclusive Same Day Shipping service, which is why it took such little time for me to deliver everything." Aster expined impatiently, his bright smile dimming a little, his patience waning with every minute.

  He thought that his head buzzing meant that something fun would happen! This isn't fun!

  It was still buzzing even now… so maybe he just needed to wait a bit more?

  "... Surely you can understand why a concept like 'Same Day Shipping' is quite unbelievable? I find it quite unlikely that something like that is possible." Keqing noted suspiciously as her tone held a more accusing tone.

  Hmph. Screw you, Keqing! How dare you raise valid points and act reasonably suspicious!?

  "... Please consider your words carefully, Miss Keqing. Your words can be seen as defamation against our company's services and capabilities." Aster crossed his arms and matched Keqing's suspicious gaze with a displeased one.

  "Forgive me if my words were out of line, but I believe we'll need to confirm the validity of your cims first before proceeding." Keqing decred seriously as Aster sighed outwardly but panicked inwardly.

  The scary boss dy is trying to detain him! Secret Art: Go, other big boss dy.

  "Very well. A confirmation from the Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius should be sufficient, no?" Aster asked exasperatedly as Keqing raised an eyebrow and nodded her head.

  "Please." He extended a hand to her as Keqing stared at him suspiciously before hesitantly taking his hand, curious at what he was pnning.

  *POP*

  "Jean! I'm getting bullied by the You Hung of Liyue or whatever, and she's stopping me from taking the st batch of goods!" Aster immediately compined and snitched as he and Keqing appeared directly in front of Jean, surprising Jean to death as two people suddenly appeared in her office.

  She quickly hid a book she was reading and opened her mouth to chide Astel for teleporting into her office again. She then paused as she registered his words, immediately gring at the shocked Keqing without any sign of her earlier embarrassment.

  Aster immediately popped away from Keqing and reappeared behind Jean, hiding behind Mama Bear as she gred at the flustered Keqing. He smirked as Keqing's eyes widened at the sight of Jean, smugly nodding his head behind Jean like a cub who got his mom as backup against a predator.

  "Long time no see, Lady Keqing." Jean began, sharply narrowing her eyes as Keqing composed herself and shrunk slightly, aware that she may have messed up. "What's the meaning of this, if you don't mind me asking?"

  "Ah, yes. Apologies for the unannounced visit, Acting Grand Master Jean." Keqing apologized awkwardly, and her eyes moved to gre at Aster momentarily, making him quickly dash behind Jean's chair again. Jean cleared her throat sharply with a warning look, making Keqing promptly turn away. "... There have been a few complications with the merchants that were originally tasked with delivering the shipments to Mondstadt."

  "That should not be our issue. The documents I had Aster deliver should have addressed any problems ahead of time. Their contracts have already been fulfilled. I fail to see how this has any business with the Knights of Favonius or T.I.- Er, The Astral Express." Jean retorted sharply, resting her chin on her two hands and leaning forward to continue interrogating Keqing. She stumbled on her words slightly once she referenced Aster's company, quickly switching names before she went too far.

  Yeah! Get her, Jean!

  Aster suppressed his victorious chuckles as he peeked out from behind Jean triumphantly.

  "... Well, you see…" Keqing squirmed slightly at Jean's words. Astel noticed that there was probably something she wanted to mention, but Jean's protectiveness of him made it hard for her to do so. "That would usually be the case, but… a few rumors and cims from the merchants suggested foul py, and the merchants' contracts could've been in jeopardy had the goods not been delivered."

  Snder!

  Mama Jean! Aster is getting sndered!

  "... Does the Qixing find the Knights of Favonius incompetent enough to hire someone with a dubious background?" Jean asked, narrowing her eyes as Keqing's eyes widened in horror. "I was not aware that the Qixing viewed the Knights so lowly that they'd find it appropriate to step into matters out of their jurisdiction."

  Oh… Jean really put Keqing in a tight spot!

  It's also kinda funny how Jean really is hiring someone of a dubious background! But it isn't a show of incompetence; Aster is awesome at his job, after all.

  "That was not our intention whatsoever! Please do forgive me if our intentions were misunderstood—you should know how important contracts are to the people of Liyue Harbor." Keqing quickly denied firmly while trying to justify her actions, sweating slightly as Jean didn't reply for a few seconds.

  As the silence stretched on for a few more seconds, Aster accidentally caught Keqing's eyes. He blinked slowly before smiling apologetically, feeling just a bit bad for putting Keqing on the spot.

  "... Very well. Mondstadt and Liyue have a very harmonious retionship, and this incident thankfully didn't escate enough for any drastic actions to be taken." Jean eventually decided with a sigh while finally putting her hands down as Keqing sighed in relief.

  "I'm grateful for your understanding, Master Jean." Keqing bowed her head respectfully as Jean returned the gesture with a nod.

  "I trust that you will allow Aster to fulfill his duties without any trouble from now on," Jean asked seriously, and Keqing nodded without hesitation. "Please handle the unscrupulous merchants defaming Aster's company while you're at it. The Astral Express is a close ally and friend to the Knights of Favonius. Such actions are not tolerable."

  "Yes, that can easily be done." Keqing nodded again, gncing at Aster with surprise. Considering their ck of reputation, she did not expect him and his company to have such a close retionship with the Knights.

  Heh.

  Aster nodded his head smugly. He didn't choose the Gangsta life. Gangsta life chose him.

  "I'd normally offer you a chance to rex in Mondstadt for a few days and enjoy its sights, but I'm sure you still had many duties to attend to. Mondstadt also has certain issues to deal with at the moment." Jean coughed and cleared her throat before reaching behind her to pinch Aster's cheek, deadpanning at him as she pulled him forward.

  "Owie~," Aster said, despite not feeling any pain.

  "Aster, please escort Miss Keqing back," Jean requested with a dangerous smile as Aster nodded. "And please do not teleport into my office unannounced with a member of the Liyue Qixing ever again. I do not need that type of stress in my life."

  "I'm sorry! She wanted to throw me in jail, Jean… What if I dropped the soap?" Aster compined with a small pout as Jean opened her mouth to retort before closing it. She didn't find a reasonable response, so she chose to pinch his cheek harder instead.

  Jean blinked as several of her favorite dishes and desserts suddenly appeared on her desk, and a very special book materialized on her p and away from Keqing's sight.

  "You are forgiven." Jean decided while letting go of Aster's cheek and subtly hiding away the book for ter. "Feel free to flee here again."

  Heh.

  "Heh."

  "Go and escort Miss Keqing already. And be sure to come back quickly. I can't eat all of this alone." Jean sent Aster a dry stare and ordered him again as Aster saluted before teleporting behind Keqing and pcing a hand on her shoulder.

  "Okay! See you soon, Jean."

  *POP*

  Keqing and Aster reappeared in the same spot they were both in before Aster took them to Mondstadt and Favonius HQ. Keqing immediately breathed a sigh of relief and stared at Aster with a complicated expression as he let go of her and turned around to look at the packages.

  … Where did the guys that were hiding behind the packages go?

  Aster had sensed them hiding like cowards behind Keqing when he first arrived. Hmph. They feared getting punted into the ocean like that one dude who tried to make trouble for Astel.

  Aster would never hide behind a scary boss dy! He has dignity, after all.

  "... Ahem. I would like to apologize for my earlier actions, Mr. Aster." Keqing spoke apologetically as Aster moved to inspect the boxes and goods.

  He was using his powers to count their number and contents without physically counting them himself, which significantly sped up the process.

  "It's okay. You had reasonable suspicion even if you came off too strongly." Aster smiled reassuringly and easily forgave her, making Keqing sigh in relief and nod her head. "You also said that you're the person who handles Real Estate or whatever, so it makes sense that you'd mess up when dealing with this."

  Keqing's expression froze at Aster's blunt words, a hint of displeasure on her face as Aster basically called her incompetent. Her expression turned helpless as she couldn't find a proper response since what he said technically wasn't wrong.

  "... I see." She eventually muttered, swallowing back any flimsy rebuttals. "Moving past that, I can't help but note how close you seemed to the Acting Grand Master."

  "Oh, yeah, we're besties for sure." Aster nodded confidently and with a bright smile as Keqing's lip twitched. "She's also one of our company's biggest clients. She's always using our services, whether it's important shipments for the Knights of Favonius or personal deliveries from other countries."

  "Wait…" Keqing suddenly paused as she seemed to realize something crucial. Her eyes widened drastically, and she pced a hand on Aster's shoulder. "... Personal deliveries?"

  Aster paused and turned around to answer Keqing, only to freeze as he saw her intense gaze. His head suddenly began buzzing intensely, unlike ever before, producing a forgotten memory he may or may not have seen in the past.

  [Keqing's Hobbies – That indulgent feeling of being spoilt for choice between countless different varieties... That, to me, is the appeal of shopping.]

  Oh.

  "Yeah! It doesn't matter if you're asking for a delivery from Liyue, Mondstadt, Fontaine, or Sumeru. The Astral Express can get anything from anywhere to anywhere in less than 24 hours," Aster decred confidently as Keqing's grip on his shoulder increased in intensity. Her purple eyes sparked slightly with Electro energy due to the intensity of her emotions.

  "Is that so?" She asked in a heavy tone, her eyes glistening with obvious enthusiasm. "What about Inazuma?"

  "... Well, there's a national lockdown there at the moment…" Aster replied neutrally without showing anything on his face as Keqing narrowed her eyes.

  "You didn't say that you couldn't…" She pointed out carefully as Aster deadpanned at her.

  "Aren't you the You Hung or whatever? I'm pretty sure I should stay quiet." Aster pointed out bnkly as Keqing's face twisted at Aster's butchering of her title before she cleared her throat and finally let go of his shoulder.

  "... Not that you'd know what it's like to be hung…" Keqing muttered under her breath before clearing her throat as Aster stumbled in surprise.

  "... While I would not usually condone such actions, the lockdown in Inazuma was initiated by the Shogun. I personally believe that humans should only use the word of gods as advice at most." She carefully expressed her opinion while giving Aster a knowing gnce. "I would certainly not make any fuss should you defy the Electro Archon's decree… and would reward you handsomely if you successfully deliver the items I request."

  She said, 'Rules are made to be broken'. Respecc.

  "I am not against such an arrangement." Aster's smile brightened at Keqing's words as he shook her hand. "Our services do not extend to Natn and Snezhnaya, however. That is non-negotiable."

  "That is understandable." Keqing blinked in surprise before nodding in understanding. "Natn is no surprise, but it's quite a shame that Snezhnaya is not included though…"

  "Fatui," Aster responded simply, and Keqing nodded wryly.

  "That is fair enough… How about we draw a contract, then?" Keqing didn't make too much of a fuss and immediately tried to hasten their discussion towards making her delivery.

  "Now hold on, Miss Keqing. I still need to finish my current job first before working on the next." Aster put a hand up to stop Keqing and gestured toward the packages behind him, making Keqing pause and sigh regretfully.

  Aster thinks Keqing is gonna become one of those influencers who buy a ton of shit off of Amazon to show off… Perhaps it would be a good idea for Aster to work on a tablet that could show off fancy items. Maybe make a Teyvat Phone exclusively for his company so it wouldn't be as complicated?

  He should make Genshin Impact in Genshin Impact.

  "Not to mention, I believe that it would do you some good if you took a day before ordering to think of all of the items you want so that you do not forget anything important. Our rates are quite expensive, so you should think carefully…" Aster continued, nodding his head righteously, as Keqing rolled her eyes and smirked.

  "Money won't be a problem. I will be expecting you in my office tomorrow before dusk; please arrive in a timely manner to draw up the contract," Keqing decred confidently, pcing a hand on her chest as Aster blinked in surprise.

  An impulse buyer with pockets steep enough to handle the blows! His favorite type of customer!

  He felt like Dori right now…

  "Sure thing! I'm off to deliver this stuff to Mondstadt, then." Aster sent her a thumbs-up and waved while preparing to teleport away. "I'll see you soon."

  "Huh?" Keqing blinked. "Shouldn't you take the shipment-"

  Her words trailed off as she suddenly realized that all of the packages and gear had disappeared at some point during their talk, leaving empty space behind where many packages had been mere seconds ago.

  "Oh yeah! Could you please not advertise the part where I kinda kidnapped you to Mondstadt, by the way?" Aster ignored her question in favor of requesting something himself, smiling apologetically. "If you don't say anything, I won't tell anyone about how you wanted to throw me into your dungeon."

  "My what-"

  *POP*

  "Huh!?"

  …

  …

  *POP*

  Astel materialized into the room of the pce he was renting in Mondstadt, inhaling a deep breath to scream loudly and freak Mona out, only to pause as he spotted an uninvited yet not totally unexpected intruder in his room.

  Mona was currently wearing casual clothes without her usual twin-tails and witch hat and garbs, yet her Magical Catalyst was still floating behind her as she crawled to the secret chest Astel 'hid' in his room.

  Her mouth had a dopey smile as she carefully slid the chest out of its hiding spot. She blew on it as if it were an ancient treasure chest with dust covering it before carefully opening it, bypassing the flimsy lock Astel had put on it using her Hydromancy.

  "Hehehe.~" She giggled giddily as the overflowing chest filled with Mora sparkled before her eyes, her eyes clouding slightly as she imagined the equipment she intended to buy with this Mora as if it was already in front of her.

  "Ooh… That's a lot of Mora! What are you gonna use it on?" A voice spoke from next to her on the bed as Mona grinned.

  "A few books and the new Astrology-Scope that was released some time ago but was too expensive for me to get right away…" She answered dazedly, raising a hand to her chin thoughtfully as if contempting how she'd take the money away.

  "Ah… How are you going to take the Mora, though? He'll definitely notice if you take all of it." The voice pointed out worriedly as Mona paused and furrowed her eyebrows, clearly contempting the words of the voice.

  "Astel will definitely notice if I take any of it, so leaving some behind is useless." Mona eventually pointed out while thinking before gasping in realization. "I got it! I'll leave the window open in his room, and once he comes back and finds the empty chest, I'll scold him for being so careless and getting robbed so easily once he asks about the missing Mora!"

  "Ohhh! That's perfect! You could then order Astel to leave his Mora with you for safekeeping, as he can't be trusted with his Mora. This would allow you to use even more Mora! It's hitting two birds with one stone!" The voice excimed excitedly, and Mona's eyes widened at the suggestion.

  "That's genius!" She enthusiastically excimed and raised her head to look at the person on the bed. "Good thinking, Astel-"

  . . .

  The two stared at each other bnkly as Mona froze mid-sentence, neither saying anything for a painfully awkward minute.

  "Wait, I'm Astel?" Astel asked in surprise. "Does that mean I'm the one getting robbed right now?"

  Mona's face twisted into something ugly as she realized that she had been pyed, a pout barely perceptible on her face as she gred angrily at Astel for tricking her.

  "... Whatever! I didn't want it anyway..." Mona didn't make any excuses and smmed the chest closed. She stood up and angrily made her way toward the closed door without looking at Astel.

  "Oi, oi, why are you mad at me?" Astel asked incredulously, crossing his arms with an amused smile. He raised his eyebrow once she put her hand on the door handle. "I wouldn't do that, by the way."

  "Huh-"

  *FWOOOOOOOSH*

  As Mona opened the door to Astel's room, a wave of Mora immediately swept her away like a raging tide in the ocean, pushing her back into the room amidst a sea of shiny Mora filling the entire room.

  "Oh, the tragedy… A bright, young woman, desiring nothing more than to advance her practice, losing herself to greed and betraying her companion for money, only to die amidst all the world's wealth due to her hubris!" Astel sighed dramatically and slowly floated down to where Mona was stuck in the sea of Mora, a devastated expression on his face as he grieved at Mona's 'death'.

  "... I hate you," Mona mumbled while staring at Astel's kneeling form next to her head. Her eyes looked dull and unimpressed as Astel held her shoulders for her. "I really do."

  "Pshhh… You love me!" Astel dismissed her words with a pyful eye roll while removing all of the Mora he had summoned earlier from the room. He then freed Mona's prone body and allowed her head to fall gently on his p. "Or… are you only with me for the money…?"

  Mona deadpanned at Astel as he stared at her with a vulnerable and insecure look from above, eventually sighing and grumbling under her breath while quickly getting her head off his p.

  "Stop acting. I know you too well, idiot. You know I don't care about Mora." She chopped him on the head with her hand as the pitiful expression on his face faded into his usual bright smile. "... Wait, did I just give you more brain damage?"

  "My head has been buzzing a lot today, so maybe?~" Astel innocently pointed out as Mona rolled her eyes, not taking responsibility for the lobotomy she inflicted upon him.

  "Ugh, as if. I wouldn't be surprised if it's because of how many times your head has been hit while you were fighting monsters as Estel…" Mona grumbled and moved to sit on his bed while Astel crossed his legs on the floor and scooted over towards her.

  "I haven't been hit much, actually. The monsters are too weak, and the Guild won't let me take any big missions unless I get another party member…" Astel compined sadly, his shoulders slumping as he stared at the ground with genuine anguish.

  "No amount of acting will make me register in the Guild as your party member," Mona commented bnkly as Astel's pitiful facade disappeared.

  "Tch." Astel puffed his cheeks and waved his hand at Mona. She blinked and suddenly found herself falling, her face impacting the pillows of the bed roughly and her head getting disoriented momentarily.

  "... Astel!" She roared.

  …

  [A few minutes ter…]

  "You feeling better now?" Astel asked curiously while hovering behind the panting Mona, looking no worse for wear while Mona gasped for breath with sweat all over her body.

  "... I still hate you." Mona gred and sent one st orb of concentrated Hydro at him in a show of defiance. He easily dodged to the side and stored it away so as not to ruin the room. "And I'm still not becoming an Adventurer!"

  "Oh, come on! It'd be so fun…" Astel compined and slumped in defeat, this time appearing genuine. "Plus, Estel is supposedly your 'apprentice', yet all you do is stay home and leech off my money while I 'risk' my life against monsters in the eyes of everyone, you know?"

  Mona suddenly bnched as she realized what her image may have become, thanks to Estel's constant hard work. She never thought about it, but that might be what her image is in the eyes of everyone nowadays.

  "... a cruel master sving away their easily exploited and naive apprentice into fighting monsters every day for the Mora while they sat at home all day and spent all the Mora their apprentice got by risking their life for themselves…" Astel dramatically detailed Mona's current image in the people's eyes as Mona's face grew paler and paler.

  Estel is never seen spending any Mora, as Astel doesn't really buy much in the first pce. He's always seen doing the most expensive commissions as if his life depended on it. Those commissions always happen to be monster extermination ones…

  "A-An Astrologist cares not for the opinions and disdain of the people," Mona proudly stated, turning her head away and crossing her arms, trying to appear unphased despite her pale face.

  "Even as the cruel master is approached by people who seek to alleviate her control over her aloof and naive apprentice, she pays no mind to the words of those she deems irrelevant and continues ruthlessly exploiting her poor apprentice for Mora while she lives luxuriously at home…" Astel continued without pausing after Mona finished speaking, leaving Mona dumbfounded as her words backfired on her.

  "T-That's not how it is, you know? You're the one who's fervently sying monsters and taking on commissions!" Mona protested angrily, her face flushed, as Astel shook his head sadly.

  "-Or so the cruel master cimed, but everyone knew the truth. Why was the poor boy anxiously fighting for his life daily without his master's presence by his side if it was of his own volition? Was there truly a world where he was not being forced into it by his ruthless master!?"

  "God damn it Astel! Fine, I'll join your stupid Adventurer Team!" Mona shouted angrily, kicking Astel in the face once he crouched in 'despair'. "But I'm not helping! You have to do all the fighting yourself!"

  "Afraid of her apprentice possibly running away during one of his commissions, the cruel master began personally supervising her naive apprentice-" Mona bsted Astel in the face with a Hydro Pellet before he could continue tarnishing her image again. "Ow."

  "Serves you right… Bastard…" Mona grumbled in annoyance and stood up while dusting herself off, ignoring the beaming Astel on the bedside, who still looked unscathed despite everything.

  "Now that I have another party member, I can finally take the Adventurer Ascension Trial to surpass Iron Rank and reach Bronze!" Astel decred happily, hopping off the bed as Mona sighed. "I'm reaching world level 3!"

  "Why do you even need a party member to advance from being an Iron Adventurer?" Mona ignored Astel's nonsensical words and asked the main question on her mind.

  "Oh, I don't. It's just that I wouldn't need a party member to take on higher-level commissions if I advanced past Iron." Astel shook his head with a bright smile, dodging the (Hydro) Kamehameha wave Mona shot at him immediately.

  "What the hell was the point of all that, then!?" Mona yelled furiously, stomping towards Astel and jabbing his chest with her thumb.

  "... Because…" Astel grabbed her hand on his chest and looked into her eyes. "... I wanted to spend time with you."

  …

  "... I'm leaving." Mona quickly slipped her hand out of Astel's and turned around, hiding her furiously burning face as she tried to escape the room.

  She smmed the door of Astel's room and quickly scurried to hers, smming it shut before turning around and taking a deep breath. As she inspected her room, she suddenly froze.

  Astel was standing in her room, frozen as well, in front of her wardrobe, his hand on the handles of the drawer holding her underwear. His expression appeared panicked as sweat gathered at his temples.

  "It's not what it looks like-"

  *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

  …

  [One minute and thirty-seven seconds ter…]

  "... It was funny, though."

  "You're an animal."

  "You know I didn't actually open it, right? I was with you in my room the entire time…"

  "... Sleep on the couch."

  "That makes it sound like we're married, you know.~"

  *SZZZING*

  "Ahem. I retract my earlier statement and formally apologize for teasing you."

  Astel carefully slid out from beneath the Hydro dagger she threw at his heart and was now impaling the wall, smiling apologetically at Mona as she continued to gre at him with flushed cheeks and slightly misty eyes.

  "... I hate you," Mona repeated weakly before lowering her head and speaking much more quietly. "... When are we going to do our first commission?"

  "Oh…" Astel's strained smile melted into a more genuine one as he sat on the floor in front of Mona again and hummed thoughtfully. "After I take the Adventurer Ascension Trial, preferably. I'd rather not waste your time with extermination quests that I could finish in minutes instead of a more interesting quest we could spend time together doing.~"

  Astel didn't stop humming even as another Hydro dagger sailed past his tilted head harmlessly, bouncing off the wall like it was made of rubber due to its blunted edge.

  Cute.

  "... When?" Mona asked next without raising her head or lowering her extended arm.

  "It's tomorrow. I just finished my T.I.T.S work-" "I hate that name." "-and will now go around Fontaine to check for any cases before reporting at sunrise at the Adventurer's Guild. Apparently, another up-and-coming Adventurer will undergo the trial with me."

  "... Another adventurer as skilled as you? Do you know who it is?" Mona asked with furrowed brows as she finally raised her head to look at Astel.

  "No. I wasn't told who it was." Astel shook his head, not dodging Mona's gentle chop on his head at his response.

  "Lie." She huffed and took her hand back, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at him.

  "Ah. I wasn't explicitly told, but I have a pretty good idea who it may be…" Astel smiled sheepishly as he forgot about Mona's lie detection and got caught in the act. "Have you heard about the Honorary Knight who recently repelled Stormterror single-handedly?"

  "Ah, the other Outnder." Mona nodded her head in understanding before pausing and huffing in annoyance. "Why are all outnders so absurdly skilled and ambitious?"

  "Not all! My friend, Albedo, is quite content with just painting and researching alchemy quietly in his own corner." Astel defended with an affronted pout as Mona opened her mouth to retort before freezing.

  "... You wouldn't mean Chief Alchemist Albedo, would you?" Mona asked hesitantly, facepalming and groaning a moment ter. "Who am I kidding? Of course you do…"

  "Oh? You've heard of my best friend, have you?" Astel asked in surprise, pulling out a few expensive-looking potions and masterfully twirling them between his fingers. Mona was left fbbergasted at his reckless handling of such precious objects.

  "... Just move on already." Mona requested tiredly as Astel dismissed the potions and smiled apologetically at exhausting her so thoroughly.

  "Sure, sure.~ I'll head to Fontaine for a while, then." Astel tried to get up but was stopped by Mona's foot as she pushed his shoulder down and gred irritatedly.

  "Who told you to leave, idiot?" Mona hissed and pushed Astel down to his knees before huffing and looking away with crossed arms. "... You still haven't told me what you've done today. Not that I care, but I have to make sure you didn't do anything stupid…"

  Mona pushed some of the hair blocking her face to the side and turned away, trying to appear uninterested and composed.

  "... I mean, that's not really necessary, is it?" Mona's coy demeanor immediately morphed into a gre as she saw Astel's evasive look. Her eyes dulled as she wordlessly ordered him to expin with an intense aura promising pain should he choose not to.

  "... So, what are Teyvat's views on kidnapping?" Astel asked sheepishly before reaching for Mona's hands as she prepared to bst him with Hydro. "Wait! It was in self-defense!"

  "How do you kidnap someone in self-defense!?" Mona excimed in bewilderment as Astel puffed his chest out.

  "I just have a really good gaming chair."

  "..."

  "... She was trying to throw me in prison while I was delivering packages." Astel defeatedly expined once Mona continued to look at him unamusedly.

  "... What did you do?" Mona asked exasperatedly, not considering the possibility that Astel may be innocent.

  "Nothing!" Astel excimed, aghast at Mona's suspicion. "No, really! Some merchants were jealous of my delivery speed, so they called up the You're Hung of Liyue and tried to have her arrest me."

  "The you're what-" Mona's eyebrows twitched at Astel's butchering the title before she froze and paled dangerously. "You kidnapped one of the Liyue Qixing!?"

  "Yeah, but we made up ter after I teleported her into Jean's office and had Jean chastise her." Astel waved Mona's worries away carelessly with a bright yet slightly sheepish smile. "Despite how annoying it was dealing with her, I felt a tiny bit bad putting her on the spot like that."

  Mona gaped for a few seconds at the reveal of Astel's kidnapping of Keqing to Mondstadt before eventually sighing in defeat.

  "... Don't lie, Astel." Mona's exaggerated paling receded once she composed herself, and an unusually serious expression overtook her face as she gazed into Astel's surprised eyes. "You enjoyed every part of that."

  Astel's carefree and bright smile slowly disappeared, overtaken by a more amused and calm expression.

  "... Yeah, I did." He admitted without much resistance, unafraid of speaking in this way with Mona. "I managed to get an excuse to enter Inazuma after making a contract with her as well, so it was quite a fruitful encounter all in all."

  "Inazuma is very dangerous around now because of the new decrees… Be careful." Mona's eyebrows furrowed worriedly as Astel revealed that he pnned to expand his business into Inazuma, advising him to be more careful even if it was… probably useless.

  "Don't worry; I'm strong." Astel ughed warmly at Mona's concern and shook his head to dispel her worries. Then, he stood up again to prepare to head to Fontaine. "My head is still buzzing even after the kidnapping incident, so something fun should happen soon."

  Mona huffed irritably once she saw Astel's eagerness to chase his next high. She rolled her eyes without stopping him this time, blinking owlishly as Astel booped her nose and teleported to the doorway before she could react.

  "I'm heading out. Feel free to use the Mora in the chest, by the way.~ I wouldn't leave it out of my pocket space if I cared about it." Astel chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, turning his originally pure bck hair into a mismatched mix of white and bck while his inactive purple eyes sparked with life and glowed mysteriously. "Adios, estimada.~"

  *POP*

  "... Fool. Who even asked you for anything?" Mona grumbled halfheartedly while slowly getting off the bed, her eyes glued to where Astel was before he disappeared.

  … At least she can get that Astrology-Scope in the end?

  …

  …

  Above the commonfolk, Astel stood.

  Beyond the bustling crowds and harmonious people, he hovered dauntlessly, watching silently for the next victim of his rectitude…

  For the streets of Fontaine were filled with darkness, and only he, the Ace Attorney, could vanquish that void and achieve true justice…

  That was his ideology. His goal… His creed.

  –Or so Astel thought as he observed the retively peaceful crowds moving through Fontaine's streets, a soft smile on his face as he watched children run around, adults bartering or talking, and cute little Melusine guards hopping through the streets with their ears peeled for any unscrupulous behavior or individuals.

  Wait… That was him, wasn't it?

  Oh well. You can't be cool and mysterious without being the slightest bit suspicious and intimidating. Or edgy, though Astel would like to keep the edge to a minimum. He was an attorney, not Batman.

  Huh… Isn't this kinda like Daredevil? Although… Instead of being blind, he's mentally ill!

  Or so Mona cimed. Astel was actually just built different.

  Astel hummed as he saw some familiar faces walking through the streets he was watching. He recognized them from different cases he'd worked on in the st few weeks since his first case.

  Astel has snuck his way into a few other cases after he stumbled upon them during his 'prowls', using his ridiculous capabilities to get into pces he shouldn't be to gather all the evidence he needs to effortlessly clear the cases while controlling them into being as dramatic and theatrical as possible.

  Acting in front of such a huge crowd was exhirating, and Astel had already amassed a sizable fanbase despite his irregur and unpnned appearances. Who knew that justice-fighting rogues with devilish looks were so loved?~

  Astel loved the looks of shock and hope he saw when he appeared in the rooms of the victims he defended or assisted. But he also loved the defeated and angry looks his victims gave him when the truth was revealed even more.

  It brought a smile to his face. A very evil, sadistic smile.

  Oopsie, that smile wasn't fitting for his current personality.

  After composing his expression, Astel returned to his search through the Fontainian streets, humming listlessly as he inspected the retively boring avenues.

  His eyes widened as he suddenly caught wind of an unlikely and unexpected figure, shock coloring his eyes for a moment before curiosity overtook them.

  As if instinctively reacting to his gaze, a pair of mismatched blue eyes that had previously been scanning the streets in search of something quickly turned to match his gaze as the figure's eyes widened at the sight of Astel.

  Oh? Well, isn't this quite unexpected…

  Astel smiled at the figure and prepared to look away before freezing just as he was about to turn. He blinked, feeling stunned as he watched the figure book it in his direction like their life depended on it.

  ? What the fuck was going on?

  Astel looked at the figure with a genuinely dumbfounded expression as they dashed through the streets toward the building he was standing atop. They panted in exhaustion but didn't stop as they reached the building, moving around towards the fire exit that led to the roof as Astel's confusion grew.

  … He couldn't let them tire themselves out by running up the stairs, could he? Not in good conscience, at least.

  As the figure prepared to face the dastardly trial of the long steps up the fire exit, a girlish squeal was released from their lips as they suddenly felt weightless. A gust of wind took hold of their body and gently levitated them into the air before pulling them up to the roof and carefully pcing them below Astel.

  "While I'm fttered to get the attention of the illustrious Hydro Archon herself, I cannot help but feel curious regarding what Lady Furina wants from me?" Astel immediately got to the point as he got up from where he was prowling to move towards Furina, floating down from his elevated position and extending a hand to help her get up.

  "Haah… You…!" The figure, now identified as Furina, panted breathlessly for a mere second before she took a deep breath and immediately composed herself as if her earlier exhaustion was nothing but an illusion.

  Him? Has Astel done something out of line recently?

  "Become my sidekick!" she ordered confidently, arrogantly extending her arm. Her words left no room for argument, and her posture held unrivaled certainty.

  … Huh?

  …

  …

  New Chapter in like less than three weeks? Yessirrre.

  I've got exams in like two days so I'm gonna be away for the next two weeks, but I should be back with something cooked soon after.

  Anyway there's two more chapters on for those who can't handle the cliffhanger. So gimme money you fucks. I got college to pay for :sob:

  Why tf is education so expensive you fucking donkeys.

  …

  I have a Patreon now, by the way! If you want to see the next chapter early or want to support me, check it out!

  Be sure to check my discord out while you're at it. We fuck around sometimes in there.

  See you all ter!

  …

  …

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