Felit?a’s ears hurt and she almost fell over from the unbelievable volume Zandrue had used.

  No. Something odd had happened. Neither Corvinian nor Mikranasta had reacted to Zandrue’s scream.

  Of course. Zandrue had spoken at a normal volume. The scream had been mental.

  Felit?a nodded, and took Zandrue’s free hand. With her other hand, she touched the prayer beads around her neck. The glow remained, but they were fading slightly. Hopefully, they were powered up enough for what she needed.

  In the Room, she brought Zandrue’s presence closer to her. She had to stay focused; she couldn’t let her mind go out of control.

  She focused on the tiny thread that led from Zandrue’s presence out of the Room and to Zandrue herself. In her final struggle against Plavistalorik, she’d used this method to communicate with Zandrue and to enter Plavistalorik’s mind. If she could do the same here, maybe she could—

  In a blur, the Room sped away as her mind was swept along the tiny tube leading to Zandrue’s mind.

  So much for focus.

  Did she say that? Maybe. Though it sounded a bit more like a snarky comment from Zandrue.

  Zandrue, can you hear me?

  It was dark here. Totally dark. There was nothing to be seen.

  But there was fear. So much fear. It threatened to be overwhelming.

  But something was pushing back on the fear. It had to be Zandrue.

  No, it was her. She was pushing back against the fear. But she was Felit?a, not Zandrue. Wasn’t she?

  Oh gods, she needed to stay focused. Maintain her own identity. Not blend with Zandrue’s. Or was it Felit?a’s?

  Shit.

  She took several moments to focus, going through concentration exercises. But the fear was so distracting. So nearly overwhelming.

  She had to step back a bit.

  Now she stood under a starlit sky. There was a tree beside her and shapes occasionally flew overhead, but much of the scene around her was indistinct. She couldn’t make out much detail of what surrounded her other than the tree. Even the tree was only distinct for a short distance up the length of its trunk. Its branches and leaves were hazy. It was all a little like a dream. Or a memory where you could only recall certain bits.

  “Do I have to go?” she asked.

  There was a woman beside her now. They were both sitting against the tree looking at the stars.

  The woman—her mother—barely looked at her. “Yes. Make us proud.”

  The fear was emanating from both herself and her mother.

  “I’m scared.”

  “Don’t let your father hear you say that.”

  “Maybe I’ll tell him,” her sister said.

  Where had she come from? Her mother was gone and Morstraime was there in her place. She was indistinct like so much else here though. It had been so long since she had seen her sister, she could barely remember anything of what she looked like beyond the bright red hair. Morstraime would be a grown woman by now. Unrecognisable.

  No, this was not the right place to be. These weren’t her memories. This was not what she was here for.

  She pushed the memory aside and there was Rudiger, standing proudly and smiling at her.

  Thank the gods! He was all right!

  She ran up to him and threw her arms around him as he lifted her up and spun her around. Then she pushed Rudiger onto the bed and leapt on top of him. They were both completely naked.

  Oh gods, how embarrassing.

  This was not the first time she’d intruded on Rudiger’s sex life, although at least last time, she hadn’t been one of the participants.

  It was so wrong. So unnatural. But gods, she loved it. And she loved him.

  “Disgusting,” her mother said.

  “Fuck off, mom. He’s mine.”

  “You disgust me.”

  This wasn’t a memory, was it?

  It couldn’t be. Her mother had never been there while she was fucking Rudiger.

  No, she had never fucked Rudiger, Zandrue had, and she wasn’t Zandrue! Right? Except she sure as hell was thinking like Zandrue.

  Whatever the case, this wasn’t a memory. This was just worry, anxiety, and fear.

  A Volg sleeping with a human. Tadstaime had said there was no shame in enjoying it, that it was an archaic belief to say otherwise.

  She rolled back over onto Rudiger, biting gently at his ear.

  “Not tired yet?” he said with a laugh.

  “Oh, I can go a long time yet.”

  Right, enough of that!

  Again, this was not what she was here for. She pushed the pseudo-memory/fantasy aside.

  She was back in the darkness. In the seemingly endless fight against the fear.

  Felit?a?

  Zandrue?

  I’m not sure. I think so. Though maybe I’m Felit?a.

  No, I’m pretty sure I’m Felit?a. Though I also just had sex with Rudiger, so I might not be.

  The other one laughed. You’ve always had a thing for him. Remember what happened when you first met him?

  Oh gods, don’t remind me.

  The other laughed again. So, how was it?

  How was what?

  The sex.

  Fuck off.

  You sure you aren’t me? You sound like me.

  My language has gotten a lot rougher lately. Stress can fuck you up a lot.

  No shit. What’s wrong with me, Felit?a?

  You mean, beyond the usual?

  Ha ha.

  Bad joke, sorry. To be honest, I don’t know yet. I’ve just been lost in your head. I haven’t got a clue what to do anymore. I somehow thought…

  I really need you to do something fast. I’m about to kick Corvinian in the face to get away, and I suspect that will go badly for me. I can’t hold out much longer.

  I know. What could she do? How was she supposed to find anything if the only choices were pure darkness or memories where she could barely separate herself from Zandrue?

  Please, Felit?a.

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  Where are you?

  What do you mean, where am I? I’m right here. Right in front of you. Open your fucking eyes and look at me!

  She opened her eyes. Felit?a, eyes still closed, was kneeling beside her, squeezing her hand almost painfully tightly. Corvinian still held her other hand, while Mikranasta stood back a few paces, watching intently.

  No. This was what Zandrue was seeing. Gods, this was confusing.

  Look at me, for fuck’s sake!

  Could she open her real eyes? When she had been in Plavistalorik’s mind, she had had no control over her own body. But the grey walls had been still intact then. Could she do it now?

  Only one way to find out.

  Concentrating, she opened her real eyes. Dizziness threatened to overtake her as she was now seeing through both her and Zandrue’s eyes.

  But that was all right. She could handle it. It was just like being in the Room and operating in the real world at the same time. She just had to treat it the same way.

  Smiling, she relaxed her grip on Zandrue’s hand. “Sorry about that. When I concentrate, I have a tendency to clutch my hands too tightly.”

  “Something you really need to get over,” Mikranasta said.

  “Yes, you’re right. Now, shut up while I deal with this. This isn’t easy.”

  “Apologies, Will-Breaker.”

  Felit?a stood up, straddled Zandrue’s legs, and placed her hands on each side of Zandrue’s face. She had intended to do this from the start, but had gotten swept up by...well, not having control of her abilities. There was so much still to learn, but that was irrelevant right now.

  She cast the spell she’d tried to use on Zandrue before, the power flowing first through the prayer beads, allowing her to augment its strength. It still wasn’t likely powerful enough to find anything she couldn’t find before, but maybe now she had her telepathy to further augment it, she could find something.

  Trust me, Zandrue?

  Always.

  I need you to relax. Stop fighting the fear.

  But…

  Trust me. It’s the only way I can see where it’s coming from.

  Zandrue stopped fighting, and the fear rushed forward, threatening to cover everything in darkness again, but Felit?a threw the diamond walls against it. It was a strain, but they held it back. At least for now.

  She allowed herself a little smile. That had been pure instinct, but it was nice to know she could use the walls outside of her own head.

  Zandrue’s body tensed momentarily, but then went limp as Felit?a assumed control. Gods, she’d vowed to never, ever do something like this again after Plavistalorik, but there was no choice. No other way to save Zandrue.

  Then, bending Zandrue’s body round to be able to look past her own body blocking the view, she looked around the library through Zandrue’s eyes.

  Sort of. Though not exactly.

  She was looking at the library, but she was also looking at Zandrue’s interpretation of it. When it came down to it, sight was a personal thing. Real information met someone’s eyes, but at that point, the mind took over, interpreting that information. In a sense, everything anyone saw was a construct.

  Looking at the library now, there were differences between what she saw with Zandrue’s eyes and what she saw with her own. They were slight. The blue aura forming around Corvinian was slightly paler from Zandrue’s perspective. In fact, everything was just slightly paler from Zandrue’s eyes.

  Other things stood out more. Mikranasta was...not exactly bigger from Zandrue’s eyes, but somehow more prominent. Even Felit?a’s own body seemed… It was hard to compare how she looked through Zandrue’s eyes with how she looked through her own, since she couldn’t look at herself in the same way, but there was a precision to her appearance that she had never noticed when looking at herself in a mirror. No, precision was the wrong word. She couldn’t quite describe…

  It was the smell. Her scent. Gods, she had forgotten Volgs had a heightened sense of smell compared to humans. She wasn’t even sure how to interpret what Zandrue was smelling from her.

  It didn’t matter right now. She had to find where the fear was coming from before she lost control of the diamond walls.

  Where would it be?

  There, at the farthest corner of Zandrue’s peripheral vision. It moved as she turned Zandrue’s head. Always as far back as possible.

  She spun the diamond walls over to it. It was the tiniest, tiniest seed.

  No. It was multiple tiny seeds. One augmenting Zandrue’s general fears brought on by a childhood full of hardship and trauma. Another augmenting her fears and worries about Rudiger. Yet another augmenting her desire to run away and hide from the world. Still another augmenting her paranoia and distrust. And another…

  What was that one doing?

  Felit?a brought it closer. It wasn’t doing anything to Zandrue’s feelings or temperament. It was something different.

  Oh gods. It was blocking memories.

  Of course, she should have realised. Whoever had done this would have to block the memory of it from Zandrue.

  Right. Time to get rid of them. She squeezed the diamond walls around the seeds to crush them, but stopped.

  There were seeds on the seeds. Traps.

  Just like Plavistalorik had done.

  In fact, there was a familiarity to the magic here. It was very like Plavistalorik’s. But she was dead. Did she have a hidden siare like Felit?a had postulated? It could explain a lot.

  She flattened out a piece of diamond wall until it was razor-thin, and then, to be on the safe side, she flattened it even more. Then she sliced the traps off each seed and crushed the non-trap seeds. Finally, she bundled up the traps in a bit of diamond wall. She had no idea how to remove them without setting them off, but as long as they remained untriggered, they would do no harm. The bit of diamond wall would keep them for now, and she could figure out a way to completely remove them at a later time.

  With a sigh of relief from both bodies, Felit?a prepared to return to just her own.

  But how could she do that?

  It was just a matter of sliding back the same way she’d come in, surely.

  Except that wasn’t working.

  Fuck.

  Zandrue, are you there?

  No response.

  Zandrue?

  She had destroyed Plavistalorik’s mind doing this. She was not going to do that here.

  Zandrue, answer me! Please!

  Fuck, fuck, fuck!

  You’re really starting to like that word, aren’t you?

  Oh thank the gods. Where were you?

  Not entirely sure. I can’t move. Felit?a, why can’t I move?

  Because I still have control, and I’m not sure how to let go. Oh gods, Zandrue. I’m so sorry.

  Okay, okay. Let’s not panic. Maybe you just need to relax like you told me to do.

  Right. Zandrue was right. Panic was the worst thing for her to do right now. She had to remain calm.

  You are in distress, Will-Breaker, Mikranasta said. I need to pull you out immediately.

  No! Do that and you could destroy Zandrue’s mind. Give me another moment.

  Very well. Another moment. But I will not wait long.

  Felit?a took a deep breath with both bodies. With her own body, she touched the prayer beads, and focused. Calm. She needed calm.

  With her own eyes, she looked at Corvinian, whose glow was brightening. “Corvinian.”

  “I’m sorry!” he said. “I don’t mean to be doing this. I can’t control it!”

  “It’s all right. Your body is just reacting to what’s happening, and honestly, I’m glad it’s doing it. I need you to do something for me.”

  He nodded, and wiped tears from his eyes.

  “Take my hand, but don’t let go of Zandrue’s.”

  His hand burned to the touch, and she almost pulled back in shock. Zandrue was not experiencing the same burning, but Felit?a wasn’t surprised.

  Would what she was about to do be any different from Mikranasta yanking her out? She couldn’t be sure, but she couldn’t think of anything else.

  She took another deep breath, with just her own body this time, and focused on Corvinian’s mind. Focused on whatever was in there.

  It was like a giant, gaping hole.

  Then blue energy lashed out and threw her across the room, slamming her into the wall and tearing one of the paintings there as she slid to the ground.

  When her vision cleared, she could only see through her own eyes. A quick check, and she determined she was entirely in her own body now. She was out of Zandrue’s body, but how was Zandrue?

  Ignoring the pain, she jumped to her feet. “Zandrue!”

  Zandrue was lying limp in the chair. Corvinian, his glow fading now, was still holding her hand.

  “Are you all right?” he said as Felit?a bent over Zandrue.

  Felit?a ignored him and checked Zandrue for vitals. Her pulse was there, and she was breathing.

  And her presence was in the Room.

  Thank the gods!

  Zandrue opened her eyes and smiled up at her. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” Felit?a said.

  “Those tears have really made a mess of your make-up.”

  Felit?a snorted and wiped her eyes. “You really had me scared there.”

  “Me? That was all your fault.”

  “Yes, I suppose it was.”

  Zandrue’s presence faded in the Room as the shield shunted her out.

  “We are done,” Mikranasta said. “Well done, Will-Breaker. I am honestly impressed.”

  Felit?a ignored her and hugged Zandrue.

  “Careful,” Zandrue said. “I’m still a little winded.”

  Felit?a relaxed her grip. “Sorry.”

  “Felit?a, I remember.”

  “Remember what?”

  “What happened to me at the cathedral.”

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