Several hours have passed since the incident with the doctor, and Mari, hoping to avoid her life turning to complete ruin in the wake of everything that occurred there, has turned to the one constant in her life for help.

  “Oh my god, Marielle. I’m so sorry you had to go through that…”

  “Yeah… I… I don’t really know what to do anymore… Definitely won’t be able to go back there again, at the very least.” Mari says as she runs her gloved hands through Cassandra’s short hair, gently using a brush to coat it with a blue liquid.

  “Well, I can’t bme you for feeling lost right now, but… is this really how you want to deal with it?”

  Mari is currently in the bathroom of Cassandra’s house, where she’s helping her friend dye her hair. Cassandra’s sitting in the shower, on a pstic chair they keep in the bathroom to make it easier for her to bathe, wearing a towel over her pyjamas to catch any excess dye as Mari does her work from behind. This has been a bit of a tradition of theirs for years, and while it’s usually under much calmer circumstances, Mari insisted she do this while telling her friend about what happened.

  “I dunno…” Mari sighs. “I just… didn’t want to force you to listen to me without offering anything in return, I guess.”

  “You know you can just talk to me whenever you want to, right? You don’t have to do anything for me, especially not in a situation like this.”

  “Yeah, but I wanted to, though. You’re way overdue on re-dying your hair, and besides, I… really needed a distraction...”

  Cassandra sighs, but Mari knows her friend can’t deny she’s holding up surprisingly well right now, especially compared to less than an hour ago. She was practically a wreck when she first showed up, but getting everything ready to dye Cassandra’s hair, even just being able to hear her voice, has done a good deal to help calm her down. Mari’s hands are still a little shaky as she works the dye brush, but despite everything that’s happened, she’s still able to get the job done as Cassandra listens to her story.

  “Well, if it really is helping, then I suppose I better let you keep going.” Cassandra says with a bit of a chuckle before pausing for a moment. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re holding it together at all right now, you were way more upset about what happened at the park a couple of weeks ago, and that was basically nothing compared to this.”

  “I dunno if I’m actually doing all that okay, Cass. Feels like everything’s falling apart on me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I think the only reason I’ve been able to calm down even a little bit is because it’s only affecting me, even if that was a… very close call back there. If I had actually hurt the doctor it’d be a different story, and it’s also why I was so disappointed about the park, seeing you in pain like that was killing me.”

  “I… guess that makes sense…” For just a moment, Mari feels something strange in her chest as Cassandra speaks. “But… as much as I’d like to help with what’s going on with you, I’m not really sure if there’s anything I can do. This magic stuff is way beyond me.”

  “I know, but I didn’t know who else I could talk to. Those other witches were lying to me all this time, and now weird stuff’s happening to my body, and I’ve lost my meds, and then… and then my hands, and the doctor, and the-”

  “Marielle.” Cassandra interrupts, and Mari immediately goes quiet. “I can’t help you with specifics, but I can at least stop you from getting lost in your own head before things get even worse. Let’s just focus on one thing at a time and figure out what you can do, okay? If I know you, you’ve already got a stockpile of patches saved up in case something like this happened, don’t you?”

  “Y-Yeah, but only enough for a few months. It won’t help much if I can’t get more, and no doctor’s gonna listen to me if I can’t even get a blood test.”

  “What about DIY? There’s no way you haven’t at least looked into it at some point.”

  “But that’s the other thing. My blood… it isn’t even proper blood anymore, who knows what else is going on with me? How am I even alive right now?” Mari’s hands start to tremble a bit, but she does her best to focus on the task at hand. “Even if I can get more patches, or tablets, or injections, or whatever else, how do I know my body isn’t just too fucked up for it to work anymore?”

  “You won’t know unless you try, and besides, if you think about it, maybe that’s not really a bad thing? It might mean you’ve also changed so much that you don’t have to worry about your hormones going back to how they used to be, right?”

  “I mean… maybe… but how can I know for sure? I… I can’t take a chance on something like this… I don’t know what I’d do if I went back to how I used to be.”

  “Then you’d better talk to someone who would know about these kinds of changes. If your estrogen patches really do stop working because of witchcraft, then a witch should be able to tell you what to do about it. You said a while back that the witch that lived in your pce left you a phone number, yeah? If you don’t want to go on that forum again, you can talk to her instead.”

  Mari sighs, and stops what she’s doing for a moment. “She did, but she’s also the reason I’m in this whole mess in the first pce. I’m pretty angry at her right now, to be honest, and I can’t say I really like the idea of having to talk to her.”

  “Well I think your only options are talking to her, or the witches online, unless there are any other witches you know about. I know you like taking care of things yourself, but I really think this is one of those things where you should at least try to ask for help first.”

  “I-I know… but… I don’t like either of those options. Why do I have to pick between someone who screwed me over, and a group that’s been lying to me since I met them?”

  “I really don’t bme you for being angry at that witch, but are you sure that anyone on that site actually lied to you? Maybe there’s something going on that they missed when you’ve spoken to them before. I don’t bme you for struggling to trust people after everything that’s happened, but if you keep pushing everyone away without giving them a chance, there won’t be anyone left to rely on. I thought it was really great that you finally found a community where you belonged, with people who could help you thrive, so wouldn’t it at least be worth seeing what they have to say about this? ”

  Mari takes a few seconds to think on it. “...You really think I should talk to them?”

  “It can’t hurt to at least reach out, right? And who knows, if your body is changing on a fundamental level or whatever, maybe that’ll help with your lungs as well?”

  “Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure my lungs are the same as ever. Did a lot of screaming earlier and I still ran out of breath pretty quickly, but I guess I can try talking to them about all of this, especially if you think it’d help, Cass.” Mari resumes dying Cassandra’s hair, now that she’s calmed down a bit. “I don’t know if you’re right about me belonging in that community, though. It’s not like I’m a witch myself or anything.”

  “You still haven’t made a decision on all of that, then, have you?”

  “I have been thinking about it, but there’s been a lot of other stuff going on. I guess I’m pretty locked into all this now though, even if I don’t decide to become a witch, I’m already past the point where I can just go back to living as a normal person, so I may as well see how far I can take this witchcraft stuff.”

  “Wouldn’t that mean you’re a witch already, then? Like, if you’ve decided that continuing on with witchcraft is what you want to do, what’s the difference between that and just… being a witch?”

  “I don’t know, it’s not like I chose this path, I kinda just got thrown into it. It wouldn’t feel right, you know? Like it wouldn’t be fair to the people who decided to become witches on their own, and I don’t know if I’ll even be any good at it in the long run.” Mari lets out a deep sigh, her grip on the brush tightening a bit. “But, maybe you’re right and it’s not all that big of a difference… I guess I’m just being stupid again…”

  “Marielle!” Cassandra suddenly turns her head to try to look at Mari behind her, letting out a grunt as she struggles to turn her body around in turn.

  “D-Don’t push yourself! I’ll come over that side.” Mari puts the brush on a small shelf to the side before walking around to view Cassandra from the front, who is sporting a look of serious concern.

  “Why did you say that about yourself, Marielle? I thought we’d worked past that years ago.”

  Mari scratches her head, struggling to look her friend in the eyes. “Sorry, I know, it’s just been a really bad day, and-”

  “Which is exactly why you don’t want to make it worse by saying stuff like that. There’s something else you haven’t told me, isn’t there? You’ve been through a lot of really rough stuff in the past few years, and none of that ever had you talking like this. There was only ever one thing that made you think that way about yourself.”

  Mari looks helplessly back at Cassandra for a moment, she never was good at keeping secrets from her. “...Yeah, I... started having the nightmares again…”

  “What!? You poor thing…” Cassandra reaches out, her frail hand gently grasping onto Mari’s wrist. “When did they start?”

  Mari sighs before sheepishly looking at Cassandra. “A-About two weeks ago, I think…”

  “Marielle, why didn’t you say anything? You shouldn’t be dealing with that on your own!” A mixture of sadness and frustration spreads across Cassandra’s face. It’s a look that Mari can’t say she particurly enjoys having directed towards her.

  “I dunno… I was handling it…”

  “It really doesn’t sound like you’re handling it. You’re back to talking about yourself the same way you did when you moved in with us almost a decade ago.”

  “S-Sorry, you’re right. It has been really hard to deal with, I just didn’t want to make you worry when I’d already caused you so much trouble the st time we hung out.” Mari says apologetically.

  “Well if you don’t want me to worry, you can do that by making sure we put a stop to that line of thinking before it gets any worse, okay? I don’t want to see you start to spiral again like you did back then. Do you think you need to start seeing your psychologist again?”

  Mari looks downwards, almost appearing to panic for a few moments, and withdrawing her arm from her friend’s grasp. “No. No more doctors, or psychologists, or anything. I can’t trust them, I’m done with all of that.”

  “I get it, Marielle, I really do. If there was any way I could do the same thing, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But if you’re not going to seek professional help with this, you need to make sure you’re taking proper care of yourself, alright? I want you to become the best version of yourself that you can, and if you let those bad thoughts get to you, you’d just be letting her win, aren’t you?”

  Cassandra’s words strike a chord with Mari, who proceeds to take a deep breath. “I know, it’s just… really hard to let go of everything she did to me, even after all these years. I really thought I was over it all, but I guess not…”

  “Yeah…” Cassandra gives Mari a few moments before speaking up again. “Do you think your sister is doing okay? I know you haven’t kept in touch, but…”

  “I really don’t think we have to worry about her, Cass. She had a family that actually loved her.” The pain and jealousy is pin to hear in Mari’s words.

  “You do too, Marielle, just… not a biological one... Still, I’m gd you got out of there when you did.”

  “Wish I could have left sooner, if I’m being honest. But can we not do this right now? I’m already doing bad enough without having to think about my childhood as well.”

  “You’re right. We don’t have to talk about that, but we do need to talk about what you’re going to do about these nightmares. Do you have any idea what’s causing them? I’d ask if there’d been any big changes recently, but…”

  “Yeah.” Mari lets out a dry chuckle. “A hell of a lot’s changed in these past two months. Apparently it’s not the witchcraft doing it, assuming I can trust the witches I met online, anyway, but it’s gonna be pretty hard to narrow anything else down. Heck, it’s been so busy that I’d barely know where to start…”

  “Ah, that’s what’s causing it, isn’t it?” Cassandra says to herself.

  “Huh?”

  “Marielle, when’s the st time you actually just sat down to rex?”

  “Well, you know…” Mari says sheepishly. “There’s just been so much to do, and-”

  “When was it?” Cassandra says, cutting her off to continue her lecture. “And no, it doesn’t count if you didn’t feel like getting out of bed right away. When’s the st time you actually took time out of your day to focus on something that wasn’t your job, or the house, or any kind of witchy thing?”

  “I, uh… don’t know…”

  “No wonder you haven't been sleeping well. You’ve been working yourself so hard that you’re probably stressing yourself out without realising it, and that’s what’s causing the nightmares. I should’ve seen this coming, you always get like this when you don’t have someone to rein you in, don’t you?”

  “...Sorry…”

  “Don’t apologise, Marielle.” Cassandra looks her right in the eyes. “You’re a wonderful, powerful person who is capable of so many things, way more than I’ll ever be able to do…”

  “Come on, Cassandra. You know I don’t like you talking about yourself like-”

  “But you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well. What’s going to happen if you keep pushing yourself until you suddenly colpse or something? Will anyone even know you’re in trouble? Are your dolls able to call an ambunce?”

  “Yeah… T-That’s a… good point.” Mari opts not to mention that the situation Cassandra’s describing has already happened, and instead continues to listen to the lecture.

  “I’m so, so happy to see all the progress you’ve been making since the move, and that you’ve got people who can help you become the amazing person that I know you can be, but please, Marielle, make sure you’re pacing yourself. Or at the very least, make sure there’s someone around to keep an eye on you. You’ve got tons of rooms you’re not using, right? Maybe you could talk to your other friends about moving in, a roommate or two would probably do you some good.”

  “R-Right… I can ask them about that once things have calmed down a bit…”

  “Well either way, there are a couple things I want you to do in the meantime, okay Marielle?”

  “What is it?”

  “First, you need to go to that message board and get some answers. Before you do anything else, you need to make sure that you’re okay, and that you know what’s going on with your body so you can deal with it properly. After that, I want you to take some time to actually rest. I’m not going to tell you to go on vacation or anything, I know you probably wouldn’t enjoy that anyway, but get out one of your old consoles and just spend the rest of the day on the couch or something. Don’t worry about the dolls or the magic, and just spend some time focusing on your own wellbeing, can you do that for me? I promise you’ll feel better afterwards.”

  Mari lets out a small huff. “I… I don’t know. Do… Do I really deserve that, Cass? I think I almost killed someone today. Is it really okay for me to just take a chill day after something like that? What if I didn’t realise what was happening in time to stop it?”

  “But you did. You hate doctors more than just about anyone else, and you still managed to stop yourself before doing something you can’t come back from. If what that doctor was saying didn’t make you snap, I can only think of one person in the whole world that could make you do it, and you don’t have to see her ever again.” Cassandra lets out a couple of quick coughs before looking downwards, taking a deep breath. “Besides… If your magic is capable of something like that, maybe running into her wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all…”

  Mari struggles to hide the shock on her face as she feels an unexpected anger wash over her, one that feels scarily simir to how she felt back at the doctor’s office, only deeper, like it’s been left to fester for years. “C-Cass, what are you implying? I mean yeah, I can’t say I wouldn’t prefer if she was dead, just so I can know for sure I won’t have to see her again, but, like, I never pictured actually having a hand in it…”

  Cassandra looks back up at Mari, and shakes her head a bit upon seeing the look on her face. “S-Sorry, I’m just a bit worn out after sitting up like this for so long. I’m just… still really mad at her for how she treated you, I didn’t mean to say anything weird.”

  “I guess I get it, yeah. But you don’t need to get angry at her on my behalf, you know. I’ve already done more than enough of that for the both of us.”

  “I know, but I just can’t forgive her after everything she put you through. I was just trying to say that it’s okay to be angry, and- ngh!” Cassandra suddenly winces in pain when she tries to adjust herself, pcing a hand on her side where it hurts.

  “Cass! What’s going on, are you okay!?” Mari calls out. She reaches out momentarily, but is unsure what to do as her friend is in pain out of nowhere. Her breaths quickly become strained, as a mild panic starts to take over.

  “I’m okay… just… moved in a weird way…” Cassandra moves her hand away from the spot that hurts in an effort to calm Mari down, even if her expression fails to hide her discomfort. “Sitting like this for so long is just wearing me down a bit, this seat isn’t the comfiest.”

  Mari lets out a small sigh of relief, but is clearly still worried as she tries to calm her breathing. “Sorry, it’s my fault for wasting so much time talking. Do you need to stop?”

  “N-No, we’re almost done, right? I… I can deal with it.”

  “A-Are you sure? We can always-”

  “Marielle, I can do it.” Cassandra interrupts with a surprising amount of force in her voice. “It’s just sitting on a chair for a while… Even someone like me can handle something as basic as that, can’t I?”

  “I-If you’re sure, Cass. I’ll try to make this quick, just let me know if it gets too much.” Mari gets behind Cassandra once more, and resumes applying the blue dye.

  She works in silence for a while, not wanting to force her friend to sit here any longer than needed, although she does find herself wishing there was something else to distract her from the current state of things. Mari knows how bad Cassandra’s condition is, she’s watched her deteriorate for years, but is she really getting to the point where just sitting up for an hour or two might be too much for her? Sure, this chair doesn’t support her as much as her wheelchair does, but what does that mean for the future?

  She really doesn’t want to think about it, but what if this ends up being the st time the two of them can do something like this? Dyeing Cassandra’s hair has been one of the few special things Mari can do for her, one of the only things she can offer to make her feel like she still has some control over her frail body. What happens when that’s no longer an option?

  Mari manages to break away from these anxious feelings before they get too out of hand, not because she’s in any state to properly control her emotions right now, but because she starts to realise that some of this anxiety is not her own. Once again, someone else’s emotions have invaded her mind, and while this incoming anxiety doesn’t feel entirely unfamiliar, she can make out a number of subtle differences in how it takes shape. Whoever these emotions belong to is dealing with a different kind of anxiety than what Mari’s used to herself.

  She supposes she has been away from the dolls for a while now, and wouldn’t exactly bme any of them for being concerned after seeing the state she was in upon returning from the doctor earlier. She’ll need to properly check in with them once she’s done here, but for now she should properly focus on the person she’s presently taking care of.

  “How are you holding up, Cass?”

  “I’m… managing…” Cassandra replies with a grunt.

  “Okay, just tell me if you need to stop.”

  “...You’re too nice, do you know that?”

  “And what exactly does that mean? Am I not meant to be nice to my best friend?”

  It takes a few moments for Cassandra to respond to the question, and Mari can’t help but notice another, much more complex, set of emotions flow through her in that time. “...No, but you deserve the world, Marielle. You could go anywhere, and do anything you want, but you’re choosing to stay here and help someone who can’t offer you a thing in return.”

  “You already know the reason for that, Cass. It’s not gonna change any time soon, either.”

  “Maybe, but you still need to look after yourself more, okay? I might not always be around to keep you grounded. You don’t need to worry about me so much, focus on what makes you happy.”

  “And what if I said this is what makes you happy?”

  “Then… I guess I can’t stop you, can I…?” Cassandra says quietly.

  Mari feels something shift as the two fall into silence once more. She hasn’t been able to tell if this test bunch of emotions are meant to be happy or sad, or if it’s a strange mix of both, but they’ve suddenly taken a hard turn towards the tter. What on earth is going on with those dolls?

  “Well, the good news is that we’re all done with this step, Cass.” Mari says after finishing the st section of hair she needed to apply the dye to. “How about we move you somewhere more comfortable while we wait for it to set?”

  “That would be nice, yeah…”

  Mari removes her gloves and proceeds to pick Cassandra up, carrying her to the bedroom where she gently pces her into bed. Cassandra has to sit up against the head of the bed in order to make sure the dye doesn’t stain anything, but at least here she has some cushions to support her back and keep her more comfortable than she would be if they stayed in the bathroom. The small smile on her face does a lot to assuage Mari’s worries, as it confirms she’s in less pain now, and it was absolutely the right choice to move her here.

  “Okay, it’ll be about half an hour before we’re good to rinse the dye out and do the conditioner. Is there anything you’d like me to do for you in the meantime?” Mari looks to her friend with a caring expression.

  “Well, there is one thing, Marielle.” Cassandra says after a moment of thought. “What I’d really like is for you to go home and take care of those things we talked about. My parents can handle washing my hair.”

  “O-Oh, are you sure? I’m happy to help out.”

  “I know, but that’s part of the issue. I’ve got other people who can help me out, but none of us can help you with that witchcraft stuff. You need to go to that forum and see if they know anything about what’s going on with your body. I don’t want you to have to suffer through any more uncertainty than you have to, staying here is only going to prolong that, even if you are happy to help.”

  Mari lets out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’d better look into that before something bad happens again.”

  “And promise me that you’ll take some time to rex afterward. I won’t forgive you if you don’t do anything about those nightmares.”

  “Okay, but you have to send me a photo of what your hair looks like when it’s done, okay? I want to see the results of our hard work.”

  Cassandra giggles a little bit before replying. “It’s a deal.”

  “Just… one thing before I go, Cassandra.” Mari pauses for a moment as she works up the courage to continue, as if just saying it out loud will make it come true. “What if… What if they can’t help? What if this is just how things are now, and I actually end up hurting someone next time?”

  Cassandra gives her a soft smile. “If they can’t help you, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure something out yourself, Marielle. Look at everything you’ve been able to do on your own over the past few years, even before all of this magic stuff happened, if you put even half as much time into finding a solution as you do worrying about me, you’ll sort it out in no time. But if they can help, that’s even better, isn’t it?”

  Mari nods, Cassandra’s words helping to calm her, even if only a little bit. “Thanks, Cass, you’re right. I’ll talk to you ter then.”

  “Yeah, see you ter, Marielle.”

  Mari gives Cassandra a quick wave before jumping back to the lobby of her home, where Naomi is dusting a cabinet. She lets out another deep sigh as a crestfallen expression appears on her face, causing the doll to notice her presence.

  “Welcome back, Miss!” The doll excitedly decres. “This one hopes you’re feeling better!”

  “Well, I’ve got a pn, at least.” Mari shrugs. She can’t help but notice how the mass of stickers has started to reach up Naomi’s neck at this point. The only visible part of the doll’s body not covered by stickers is its face, but at this rate even that may not be the case for long. “But more importantly, how are Leona and Adeline? One of them’s upset about something, right?”

  Naomi leans from side to side as it thinks. “Hmmmm… This one does not believe so. The two of them were busy working on a project together for most of the time you were away, Miss.”

  “A project? It’s… nothing bad, is it?”

  “Mrowwwwwwwww!”

  Mari looks over to see Martin stumble into the lobby from around the corner, dressed up in a custom made elf costume, complete with little bells on the boots that jingle as he moves. The bck cat is quick to voice his displeasure with the situation as he struggles to walk over to Mari, who proceeds to squat down and give him a pat.

  “What the hell… How’d they even get it on him?”

  “Does Miss not like it? This one can always ask them to remove it from the kitty.”

  “No, this is fucking hirious, it can stay for now. No clue where they got the bells from though…” Mari stands back up, facing Naomi again. “Everyone’s really okay then? No one’s had an emotional breakdown while I was away?”

  “No. It’s been quiet here, Miss!”

  “Weird… Well, I’ve got some stuff to do, so you and the others keep up the good work, okay?”

  “Of course, Miss!” Naomi gives a salute as Mari starts heading up to the study, both of them ignoring Martin’s continued protests.

  Mari has more than enough concerns of her own already, and while talking to Cassandra did a fair bit to put her in a better headspace, she can’t help but feel a little unsatisfied with how the visit pyed out. Not that she wanted to break down in tears in front of the person she’s trying to help take care of yet another time, mind you, but the emotional support Mari’s come to rely on wasn’t quite what she got this time around.

  It felt like she spent most of the visit getting scolded about how she’s handled the past few weeks, even if she did deserve it somewhat, and she’s a little bummed out about not getting to finish helping her with the dye. Sure, it’s not like there’s much she could have done to help with the problems Mari is currently dealing with, but Cassandra did seem a little all over the pce today, and a bit distant at times as well. Maybe she was just tired? Mari did give her much less notice than she usually would, after all.

  There’s one other thing she can’t expin away so easily, however. One mystery she doesn't have the answer to.

  This is the second time she’s started picking up on emotions that weren’t her own while out of the house, and in both cases it was seemingly unreted to any of the dolls. Does that mean… they were coming from someone else?

  It’s something she’ll have to look into another time, though. She made a promise to Cassandra, and she’s not going to let anything distract her from making sure she keeps it. Before she can look into the origins of those emotions, she needs to find out what’s happening to her body.

  SyntaxSpeedway