"Mono/Dialogue"

  'Inner thoughts'

  Narration

  [Message/communication apparatus]

  Date: Early July 1084

  Location: Kawalerielki, Kazimierz.

  POV: Margaret

  Cacophonous sounds of cshing metals enrich our quiet and serene family garden. With a sword-staff in hand, I did flurries of thrusts against my opponent, who was none other than Zofia. My feet are gliding like skating upon the smoothest surface made of ice, agile yes but mistake guarantees me to stumble with worrying chance to recover promptly.

  Zofia had changed for the better, Aunty’ hellish reflexes training had made her able to keep up with me with apparent ease. Her weapon is a rather eclectic one, it is a whip but modeled like a sword. I expressed skepticism at first, but my worries, albeit expected, weren’t warranted after all.

  She strike back with a combination of diagonal sshes from the left to right, only to transform her sword into a whip and change her direction towards my footing and or hand clutching the swordstaff. I might be a lot more sluggish compared to her, but it is all good for me.

  Aside from my lower agility at the moment, she has one more advantage over me.

  My opponent's whipping motion missed me by a rge margin, but I was never her target, to begin with. Her sword-whip then coiled itself on a branch, allowing her to immediately dodge away before my ssh could connect. She then used whatever leftover energy to pivot herself mid-air and brought down an axe kick on me.

  I used the weapon on hand to block her kick and used my own to deliver a roundhouse kick, but despite being mid-air, she could still dodge it. Not to mention that her sword grazed my hand a little on its way to rearrange itself back into its sword form.

  ‘I need to work on that finesse and reflex…’ A small mental note, but that’s what it is. Due to use distancing ourselves, a lull was created. She has her sword parallel to her footing, and one of her hands is at her side. Mine has me pointing the swordstaff right at her, I have my left foot two steps ahead of my right that anchored itself.

  We stayed like that before Zofia sighed

  “Heeeeh… you’re cheating so much you know?” She has a frustrated smirk on her face, well… I only did what Aunty told me, so I guess I must ask for eboration.

  “Hmm?” I tilted my head sideways, but my stance stood resolute in case Zofia tried anything funny.

  “It is soooooo unfair! How can you block my strike? Every. Single. Time!?”

  “Um… I only did what Aunty told me. Besides, your sword still grazed me.” I show her a small bruise on my right arm, but she somehow looks even angrier.

  “Oh wow! I only hit you through a fluke while you hit my arm, with full force no less!” She showed me her bruised arm… um… That was my fault, I failed to gauge my power… still have a ways to go.

  “U sorry…? Also, should we continue?”

  “… Hah… no. Let’s just rest for a while.” She motioned me towards the tree where she had coiled her sword. I nodded at her suggestion and we walked towards the tree, once there we just sat beneath its canopy. We spoke of nothing for a while…

  “… Where do you think Big Sis is at?” Zofia finally broke the silence, her voice is deeply ingrained with worry. I am worried too.

  “I’m not sure… Aunty Nyx is something like Uncle after all, it still eludes me why she end being a mercenary…”

  “Hah… can you speak normally? Your aristocratic vocabury made me cringe…”

  “… No. This is how I should speak now, besides… you can still understand me, no?”

  “Well… I mean… Yeah, whatever…” She seems to be insinuating that matter huh? Better for me to make it clear and reaffirm it.

  “Is it because of me going to join the Campaign Knight by the end of next year?”

  “!?” Her eyes widen not from shock of anger, but more out of worry.

  “I know what I’m doing Aunt Zofia, I did not come to find glory or adventure… I want to see for myself what does real world looks like… Also whether or not the honor everyone always telling me to be either watered down or overtly brush-up with flowery fttery…”

  “…”

  “… I’ll be fine Aunt Zofia, I wholeheartedly believe that this is the path for-”

  “Margaret!”

  “…” She raised her voice, so I decided to let her air all her grievances first. It reminds me of my conversation with Aunty years ago…

  “Being a Campaign Knight is not going to be what those novels are telling you… please, reconsider!” She turned her eyes to mine, she was on the verge of crying… hmm… I suppose what happened to Grandfather still haunts her… like it did to me as well.

  “…”

  “Please Margaret, please reconsider… I don’t want to see this house getting emptier as time goes by… Please… We can figure something out together, we can accomplish so much even with what little we have…”

  “… I will not.”

  “… Fine! You’re all just… just… *sniff*… just… *sobs*… Blockheads! All of you!”

  She left the garden, tears streaming down her face. I can only watch her go, it hurts seeing someone who cared for us grieve like that. Yet I will not change my way, I need to see what my Grandfather always told me in stories, what my uncle reluctantly told me, what my father and mother always taught me, and… what Aunty always sternly intimidated me with.

  “Damn… what did I miss?”

  “!?” I whirled around when a voice suddenly reached me. Looking towards the source, she’s her aft-

  “Mmpfh!” She hugged me so hard and pressed that pillowy nightmare into my face.

  ‘C-can’t breathe!’ I would very much prefer it if my privilege of breathing wasn’t taken away from me.

  “My, my! You have grown! Hm-hm~ you will be one beautiful dy once your growth spurt is in full swing. I missed you so much you know?! Have you been eating well?! How was Maria?! What happened with Zofia?! Is Kiril ok?! How is my lovely blockhead doing? He didn’t push himself too hard right?! Oh! I also brought you a souvenir! Would you want to open it now!? Or would you want me to-”

  “!!!!” I’m frantically tapping my Auntie’s arms since everything starting to get dark!

  “O-oh! Sorry for that…” Finally, I can breathe again… goodness me, I almost see the light at the end of the tunnel there… I composed myself while gring at her a little, she seemed to wilt ever so slightly… hah… that’s not important…

  “Aunt Nyx, where have you been?”

  “Me? Work. What else? We can talk about it ter… is what you say to her true?” Her tone turned serious. Guess I need to expin it all.

  One expnation ter.

  “So you’re going to join the army?” Aunty said while lying on the small patch of grass beneath the tree. I was expecting her to be a bit angry with my decision, yet here she is taking in the information without a visible sign of displeasure.

  “The Campaign Knight…”

  “Same thing.”

  “It is not.” Why am starting to get a little irritated?

  “Pfft, I used to call marines as soldiers to taunt them, this is barely an inconvenience…”

  “Marines?”

  “Nah, nothing important…” Her joking tone vanished and her eyes are drilling into my own while maintaining a bnk face.

  “Zofia has her reasoning, and I have my own… So my question is… can you do it?”

  “… Well… I…”

  “I won’t sugarcoat it, you will start killing people. Schnitz and Yonta are no doubt going to lecture you much gentler about it, but me? Tough luck.”

  “…”

  “To join a country’s armed forces is to consign yourself as the nation's instrument of violence. The army exists to protect its nd, yes, but the much more basic reasoning is that diplomacy had failed and the national interest of belligerent parties is at stake. Thus you call the army to set things in line with national strategy.”

  “…”

  “You can climb up the ranks and have the cannon fodders at your beck and call.”

  “I’m not going to treat my comrades as cannon fodder.”

  “That’s what everyone says at first. If it’s not you, then others shall decide that. You’re going to be someone whose worth is equal to that of sacrificing several company worth of soldiers. Your reputation would be dragged into the mud if that happened, but at least you’re alive and that’s a win in my book.” Suddenly a grin etched itself on her face.

  “You already have a worth you know? ‘A Hero’s Granddaughter who decides to show the world that knighthood isn’t dead.’ ‘That there is still an honor to be found beneath the veil of capitalistic ventures.’ ‘Where the world doesn’t always revolve around money’… I can already guess the headlines.” … my worth is only that of blood?

  “You will be an extremely potent propaganda material. The tale of you reciming your family’s honor would stoke the fme of hope… and open up the venue for war. That’s not exactly fair of me to use that low–blow type of argument, but the simplest and pettiest of the reason is enough to encourage people to do dumb shits.” She said while scratching the back of her head and looking rather displeased to boot.

  “Who knows though? I certainly am not someone to trust right? I mean, I fought for the highest bidder. I have some rules but said rules are honestly just both a side–effect of convenience and that of my ego. Who knows that I’m just using everyone to soften the blow? I’m a despicable person isn’t it?”

  Did she say all that eloquently… and not someone to trust? What kind of lies and deceit are you spouting now, Aunty? She doesn’t want me to join the Campaign Knights as well…

  “…”

  “Still want to continue?”

  “Your words have some merits… I accept its logic but I’ll deny your persuasion. The future is not set in stone, I may be na?ve, childish, and an idealist who has yet to be tested… But I’ll move forward anyway and not even you can stop me.”

  “… Haahhhhh… Man… you guys are so stubborn.” Despite her tone, she finally smiled at me. Aunty patted my head and said her piece regarding what she thought.

  “I will lie that the prospect of caging you inside this mansion doesn’t appeal to me… but I’m the st person in this family to dictate how one must live their life. Schnitz would have been floored but accept your decision immediately, Yonta would without a doubt chastise you but a single puppy-eyed plea and she’ll melt. Kiril would be both proud and troubled with your courage, while Mwi would test you first and if you pass, his blessing is assured.” She stands while dusting herself off.

  “Zofia meant well, she is stressed with how the family that has been taking care of her, a mere dy-in-waiting, so caringly keeps dwindling. She no doubt thought that it was the least she could do to keep what was left to still be intact. Maria is a bundle of cuteness, but I can see that she is a genius in her own right, she has been staring at numerous pictures you know? Astonishingly, she starts to categorize which photo belongs to which pile… and me? Well… I can only train you, that’s all my worth in this family…” Then Nyx turns her gaze back, she seems to adore her resolve.

  “You won’t… object?”

  “It is weird I know… Mwi himself already went on a journey when he was 14, at least that’s what he told me… and this world isn’t exactly nice, no matter who you are…”

  “What about you?”

  “… I don’t know… 10? I was even more reckless than either of you, so… it would be hypocritical of me to object… But I’ll be damned that I won’t do my best to prepare you by then.”

  “… Thank you… for everything.”

  “Easy there kid, my real training had yet to start… hah… look at me, going back against my own words months ago.” She just walked away and left, I could only stare at her back.

  “… Can I actually will myself to hurt someone? Hmm…. I suppose I’ll take a page from Aunty’s diary of hypocrisy… I’ll try to reason but I won’t hesitate to hurt people…” I stand up from my seated position.

  “All to protect those who can’t…”

  POV: Zofia

  “How long had I been walking around the mansion in circles? I swear that… I… hahhhh…” The tears already dried out, yet I could feel these annoying eyes of mine start to water again. Ugh… I just realized a fraction of what Big Sis feels when taking care of this stubborn family when she can.

  Well, that is that, but frankly… I’m just lost.

  This family is filled with stubborn people. I know that they all meant well, it is just that how come they keep on sacrificing themselves like this? I guess that’s how this family will and always shall be until it ceases to exist. Suddenly the clock dinged and it woke me up from my idle thoughts, despite everything I’m still Nearl’s family dy-in-waiting, it won’t do for me to neglect my duty.

  “Right… lunch, I haven’t made anything. I can still make something simple, it won’t take long but I won’t lie that… I missed Big Sis…”

  “Aww~ lil sis is lonely?”

  “!?” I turned around and saw her just leaning by the wall. She grinned… oh no! She heard me talking to myself!

  “Hehe~ you’re so cute you know? All brooding and gloomy, I can barely hold myself from- oof!” Before she could continue, I just hugged her tightly. She immediately starts patting my head.

  ‘This feels nice… I need Big Sis to convince Margaret to not enlist…’

  “Big Sis Margaret is re-”

  “Hungry! Come on, let’s make something nice for all of us~.”

  “W-Wait!”

  She just dragged me away towards the kitchen. She keeps on talking about a lot of things, things like how she missed all of us, how she was on an impromptu vacation, then what she had seen, and all those things… sounds fun…

  It didn’t take long before we arrived in the kitchen, before I could say anything she handed me an apron and started preparing the ingredients for today’s lunch. She brought out several pieces of Burdenbeast ribs and vegetables, it’s still awed me at how fast she can move.

  “What are you waiting for? Get on with cutting the veggies while I mix in the spices and seasoning. The ribs can be left as is, or we can take the tenderloins instead, kinda want to have some of it shimmered with grouse… hmm…”

  “A-Ah, yes…” We started working together with practiced movement, I was always watching how she never seemed to even need to look where her feet were, she just glided around the kitchen like dancing. While she is doing her thing, I’m peeling and cutting off some vegetables.

  ‘Hmm? This is really fresh? When did I restock this?’ Pretty sure that Big Sis came here empty-handed… oh well. We continued to work in silence, my portion of duty is way smaller than Big Sis’ own, am I not needed?

  ‘Heh… Big Sis is pretty much a superhuman… she won’t need me…’ While my mind was depressed, she lightly tapped me on the shoulder. I look at her and see that her eyes are full of worries.

  “Need to talk about something?”

  “Well… Margaret… she wants to become a Campaign Knight…”

  “Hmm…” Her eyes moved towards the boiled meat briefly before looking back at me.

  “We have time, let’s talk.”

  “Yes…”

  Once I neatly fold the apron back, she is waiting for me on the side. Now that I look at her closer, she is not in her uniform like usual… Where was she anyway? Then I realized that she hadn’t said anything and waited for me to start, ugh… here goes nothing.

  “Big Sis… please make her reconsider. Campaign Knights aren’t what the stories painted them as. I feared that she was not ready for it, that’s why I tried to dissuade her…”

  “Mm-hm…” She just nodded and motioned me to continue.

  “I mean… just look at how we are right now. Each time I checked the mansion expenditure log, it is not increasing by much, but honestly… we are going down. A lot of funding from the national council is being cut off one by one, simply because we have no Knight Primus.”

  “If it’s financial, I can help it so no wor-”

  “That’s not the problem, and Uncle himself told me to not accept help regarding financial problems, especially from you.”

  “…” Big Sis said nothing but her eyes looked so saddened, but I do agree with Uncle’s reasoning. We are getting too dependent on her, and until that blockhead can pull his head out of the gutter, things won’t change all that much on a good day or worsen for real most of the time.

  “The Nearl is declining and with Uncle’s worsening health… I feared that I would finally lose a friend, she would be nothing more than a girl who does her role…”

  “You’re describing yourself too.”

  “… Yes…”

  “Fi… what did you see in Margaret?”

  “What did I… see?”

  “Is Margaret the type of person who was carved from steel?”

  “No…”

  “Is Margaret the type of person who will get blown by the wind either?”

  “No.”

  “Tell me then, would you rather for her to be safe being caged and pampered like a princess or would you rather see her as what she is, a human who can feel hurt and love?”

  “… I want her to be what she always is… but I’m worried…”

  “That she won’t return home?”

  “Yeah…”

  “Tell me, Zofia, is this because you love Margaret as a sister you never have… or a form of denial to ever experience loss? To experience the pain of being left alone? Or perhaps more aptly put… the denial of how you, yourself, are being left on the sideline?”

  “…” Yeah… sideline. Schnitz and Yonta had left years ago where I can only watch in horror. M?ynar is losing himself in an endless self-torment, constantly bming himself for his perceived cowardice. Uncle Kiril’s health keeps on worsening… and I’ll lose a sister who always treated me like someone she can talk with absolute honesty.

  “I’m… the moment Margaret talked formally… I can feel that my own heart starts to ache… I just want for us to continue normally like learning, studying, sparring, or even doing silly and meaningless things… is that too much to ask?” I don’t know really, just what can I do?

  “You know, I once had your mindset, trying to decide someone’ else life and which course was best… I was trying to save someone dear to me, of course, there will be a cost that I must pay… wonder what it was?”

  “… What?”

  “A whole vilge full of innocents, my team’s trust, me being sent to fight in a penal battalion… and yet all paled in comparison when I gained her eternal enmity, hate… disappointment… that’s the cost I had paid. It was a long time ago, pretty much a different life altogether.”

  “…” A different… life?

  “My answer was not wrong, but was incorrect in every conceivable way.” She stood up from her seat and walked towards me. She kneeled beside me and I could stare right into her pink, amber-tinted, eyes that glittered like crystals. Her smile is full of warmth and I can feel myself starting to cry again… god I hate this…

  “You want her to be safe isn’t it?”

  “Yes, more than ever.”

  “Then why don’t you start right away?”

  “… Start right away?”

  “Pfft, you really are forgetting something.” She grinned at my confused expression.

  “A soldier ultimately yearned for three things; home, peace, and quiet… and you can provide those.” She took my hand and motioned me to stand up. After I did so, she brought me back to the kitchen and I could see that everything was more or less being cooked. Wait… I look back at her and she just nudges me.

  “Show it to her that, no matter how small and insignificant, she can find warmth in this mansion, inside her home…”

  “That so?”

  “Yep! That’s why, go and pte the food whatever you feel like it. Let her know your feelings, but ultimately show her your support. You hate being on the sideline, don’t you? Then why don’t just force your way in, all the while you can support her too.” She pushed me on.

  Without being prompted to, my hands start moving on its own. There is no hesitation on which pte to choose, whether is it meats or vegetables that I would rather pick, or even the dexterity of my hand in picking which utensils to use.

  “Good, have it seasoned according to what you wish to achieve. Would you wish for her to suffer by adding chili for how much trouble she had caused you? Would you instead make the food sour so she can think about her move all night long? Or would you rather make it sweet and tasty, that despite your disagreement, a hot meal to show that you care is always there?”

  What do I want for Margaret?

  An image where I used to py with Mar years ago resurfaced. How she was a timid girl, cooped up in her room and just read books all day, all night. Frankly, that was a pitiful time, she always looked outside the window, full of yearning but also fear. Margaret always shied away from even her extended family; it was a miracle seeing her so attached to Big Sis the first time I knew about it.

  I pretty much dragged her outside, she was crying back then… I won’t lie however, the tears weren’t of personal fear… but that of disappointing those who expect something from her. Goodness, I’m the idiot here after all… the whole thing was merely a charade… Margaret, she won’t forget me, or any of us for that matter.

  I was too fixated on being the one who brought her out from that dim, gilded cage that was her room, where she could only know the world through the structure and formation of letters. Heh… so I was obsessed with being relied on, so much so that I denied her wish because I feared abandonment? Such absurdity… and…

  ‘Just like her.’ I turned my eyes briefly at the ash- no, the silver-haired woman whom I called my sister. We’re 2 different people with the same problem, and she wanted me to learn from what she had painfully learned firsthand. Hahhh… I’m starting to get a headache at how much pampering she had given me…

  “Now that’s the Zofia that I know…”

  “Yeah… thanks…”

  “You’re welcome, don’t mention it. I’m just a meddlesome dy.”

  “Indeed, what a meddlesome big sister you’re, so much so that you didn’t progress all that much with M?ynar.”

  “… Really? That’s a low blow…”

  From there on out we just talked about a lot of silly, inconsequential, and empty things. At that moment, I failed to notice Margaret who had already taken her seat by the simple dining chair in the kitchen, while she had Maria sitting on her p. Imagine Big Sis's expression, she immediately melts seeing such an adorable scene.

  POV: Nyx

  “So you guys decide to go separate ways now?” That’s what I said while feeding an extremely energetic Maria who was filing about on my p. It is good that Zofia’s objection was still in that phase, if she were on mine like back then, some lives ago, that could have been an ugly affair.

  ‘Man… I am obsessed with and thirst for affection… No wonder Knight Captain Gadfort was uneasy when I was around the Geo-fortress…’ How painfully silly, but you can’t turn back time.

  “Yes, since I had decided ages ago to become a competition knight. With your training, I’ll be a top-notch competitor in no time or even a Grand Knight!” She looks smug about that.

  ‘Grand Knight eh? Well, I’ll just plead to Deby to not be too rough with her, I can throw in a favor or two for that.’

  “Was that also why you tried to coax Margaret to not become a soldier-”

  “Campaign Knight.”

  “Yeah, whatever, that.” Why is she so insistent all of a sudden? Did I anger the dead souls of deceased marines? Meh, whatever, I have better things to do like feeding Maria.

  “That’s what I intended to do since we can still do a lot as competition knights. Like come on, being in the spotlight will be a struggle of its own.”

  “I don’t like attention, especially when it comes from those who look at us like some kind of entertainment.”

  “Hmph, here we go again… why are you so obstinate? The method is not all the different and the people would be more receptive to it, and coupled with our skill we will surely go far.”

  “It is not just that Aun-”

  “Stop calling me Aunt for Terra’s sake! I’m still 14!”

  This then spiraled into a series of banter and apology. This is bliss, just talk about nothing in particur and just enjoy life as is. No disastrous camity, no people who want to fuck with me, and most importantly… peace and quiet…

  ‘I wonder how are those 2 doing…’ Schnitz and Yonta are missing out on this lovely occasion. Still… where is Mwi?

  “Aunty / Big sis?”

  “Hmm?” I looked back at them and I just realized that I had been going quiet for a long. Even Maria looked at me worriedly…

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You can tell us too you know? It is only fair after all.”

  “Psh, it is too soon to tell you brats about my business.”

  “Oh come on…”

  “Nope.”

  “Fine, keep your adult’s business… say where have you been again?”

  “I had been on the clock for months, so sorry for not being here… being a mercenary starts to grind my nerves.”

  “Um… that’s alright, we don’t mind at all… Well, I kind of minded about it since that girl is as hopeless as ever with cooking!” Zofia just points towards bright–faced Margaret who seems to sink into her chair ever so slightly.

  “A-Aunty! I already apologized for the burnt bread…”

  “It was not burnt, Margaret! It was charred bck, all crisp, and undoubtedly as hard as a brick! How could you manage to, in all practicality, deep-fried several slices of bread using toaster!?”

  “Pfft! Maria, your sisters are silly little kids, right?”

  “Hm-mm~! Aunt Nyx best!”

  “Aww~ here comes another boat~”

  “*nom* Hm~ Hm~… tasty.”

  “Um… uh… oh right! What are you going to do next Aunt Nyx?”

  “Hmm… Aha, I just recalled one thing in mind.” Immediately I rummaged around my pocket… now where is it? Pretty sure I kept it on me since I got it… ah, here it is.

  I just id down a piece of cloth on the table, the other 2 immediately scooted over and their shocked faces were truly something.

  “C-Catastrophe Messenger!?”

  “Are you quitting!?”

  “Yep.” The piece of cloth was none other than a CM’s armband, with a peculiar hexagonal symbol on it. This armband belongs to one of the most sought-after sections, for paramilitary and governmental bodies, while maintaining a somewhat autonomous nature.

  “Wow…”

  “That’s unexpected, but you did say that being a mercenary starts to grind your patience.”

  “Indeed, I got designated as both a courier or messenger and a bodyguard in one package. So that means I belong to the messenger, security, and transportation section as my secondary sections. The primary section is that symbol being etched into the cloth.”

  Maria suddenly tapped my hand, oh goodness I almost forgot! While I’m feeding this cute ball of pure gold, both of them are still stunned by the revetion.

  “…”

  “…”

  They looked towards each other before suddenly ughing and giggling at it. Oh boy here we go again with people doubting my role… then again it was my fault, so yeah…

  “Big Sis as a courier is a really funny image, wouldn’t you look more like a debt collector instead?”

  “Hey! I might be terrifying, but I still know how to act like a civilized person!”

  “Really now? Pretty sure your mail receiver would faint seeing who is on their doorstep to deliver said mail or package.”

  “Grrr…. Hmph, no dinner for you.”

  “Oh come on, that’s cheating!”

  “…” While we bickered, Margaret is focused on the symbol. She seemed to be interested in which section I belonged.

  “What’s wrong Mar?”

  “Well… I’m curious to which section Aunt Nyx belonged to… what section is this?”

  “Oh, that? It is none other than the strategic pnning section more popurly called the one and only…”

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  “Contingency Contract”

  [END OF CHAPTER]

  Author’s Note:

  Hello there, this is me, myself, and I, the author who is now in pain, for some reason…

  So yeah, here is my promised .5 hope you liked it and please feel free to share with me your opinions or requests, I might be able to fit it in.

  Update as usual and this is her armband.

  Ciao