As Laein kept walking on through the school grounds, passing her giant armored cat mount, I shrugged at the others and started to follow. “Oh please,” I found myself retorting to her last remark, “you say that as if you don’t like me specifically because I tend to attract explosions.”
“Hmph, true,” she allowed, tapping the ground thoughtfully with her cane. “Still, it doesn’t change the fact that one must utilize what moments of peace there are when you come around.” After getting that much out, Laein seemed to realize that she might’ve said the wrong thing, because she looked over her shoulder at me to add a quick and somewhat awkward, “Ah, that is, you need to take what little time you have for a rest before rushing right back out there. You’ve just come through the rift and crossed the island, haven’t you? I doubt you’ve even slept yet. Or said hello to half the people you should be saying hello to right now.” She’d adopted a scolding tone.
Flushing a little at the fact that even she was giving me a hard time about doing too much, I coughed and gestured. “Yeah, it’s uhh, yes, I’m going to take a break as soon as I can. Believe me, there’ll be reunions and parties galore, especially if we pull this off. But this is kind of an important thing we’re doing right now. As you can probably tell by the… uhh… guests I brought.”
With a smile that told me she knew exactly what she was doing, Laein practically purred her response. “Yes, your father is a very important person indeed. We’ve read all of his articles.”
“Wait, you uh, you did?” Dad sounded taken aback by that. “I mean, you have? Wait, we?”
“The school,” she replied easily. “And yes, of course. Your articles are required reading. Not only are they informative, it’s also a handy way to teach investigative techniques, as well as a fine example of English for those who need further instruction.” After a brief pause, Laein grumbled, “which includes far too many of those who should already read it just fine before they get here.”
While our dad took a moment to come to terms with the fact that his articles were being used to help teach an entire school of Necromancers, Tabbris piped up curiously. “Hey, um, how many students and teachers do you have here, Miss Laein? And do all of them live here all the time?”
Sounding quite proud, Laein replied, “Of course, our existence is too secret to go spreading out across the world. That’s how information leaks! We have small, supervised gathering and training missions, but everyone trains and lives right here in the Roundabout. Presently, we have two hundred and six total Necromancers of various levels. Twenty-three of those are Facilitators and the rest are students. Some much more advanced than others. But all have real potential.”
As we continued, a glance over my shoulder showed that Laein’s big armored cat had just laid down and started to groom itself contentedly. From the way it acted and the familiarity with which it curled up into that spot, I was pretty sure the giant animal was a regular fixture there. Which made sense. After all, who exactly was going to tell a twenty-foot tall armored sabretooth tiger it couldn’t take a nap anywhere it wanted to? Especially one that was apparently Laein’s favored pet.
By that point, we’d arrived in front of the Roundabout’s version of the Haunted Mansion, the main centerpiece of the entire area, at the front of the park. Once we were there, Laein pivoted to look our group up and down. She was clearly pretending to take them in for the first time. “Ah, yes, we have other guests besides the reporter.” With a cheerful hop and skip that way, the pink figure embraced Tabbris, Miranda, and Percy, before giving Cerberus a high-five against his raised paw. She also made me assure her that Eurso was fine, just taking a rest with the sharks.
Only then, after getting through those greetings and explanations, did she turn her attention to Puriel and the four Committee members. “Hmph. Finally came down off your lofty perches to try to make a difference for once? I hope you thought to pay someone to keep them warm for you so you don’t freeze your poor tuchuses off when this is all over and you go sit down again.”
Wincing, I gave a weak gesture. “Laein, please, we need to at least try to be nice right now.”
“I am being nice,” she retorted. “If I was being mean, I would’ve brought up how many deaths they’re directly responsible for, not simply implied that they’ve made things worse through casual inaction." There was a brief pause before she shrugged. “Eh, at least I didn’t name their victims.”
I started to say something, but Sophronia spoke first. “You’re right, ahh… Headmistress? We have caused… quite a bit of damage and pain, both through what we have done and what we have not. There are reasons why we felt not acting sooner was the proper choice, but none of that matters at this moment. What matters is doing the right thing now, while we have a chance.”
“Margrave,” Laein informed her. “Not headmistress. But yes, I’m sure your assistance will be very welcome, by those who can still be helped.” Before they could even try to respond to that, her gaze shifted back to me. “You’ve come for your apprentice, the Chadwick descendant.”
Her words made me wince too. “Sorry, I know it’s bad to just come for that and then run away again. I really am going to come back and actually spend some time here, soon. It’s just that--”
“Time constraints, yes, yes. See that you do visit soon,” Laein instructed firmly. “But, yes, you must rescue the woman. Marian is on her way now. She was on an important mission before you came, so it may be a few minutes before she makes it. Believe me, she will be here as soon as possible. She… ah, has been waiting quite some time for this moment too. Longer than you.”
Well, that made me curious. But Laein was obviously having fun being mysterious. Almost as much fun as she was having dressing down the Committee people and Puriel. Honestly, I was pretty sure she was letting out some of her own frustration with the fact that she and the rest of the Roundabout had to hide for so long and couldn’t be out there actually making a difference.
“You…” I exchanged glances with the rest of the group before clearing my throat. Whether she cared or not, it was right to officially introduce them. So I did, going through the five of them before waving a hand toward the woman herself. “My partner in creating this school, and the one who actually made it work for all these years, Margrave Laein. She’s the leader of the Roundabout.”
“Pah!” Laein used her skull cane to smack me in the arm, and she must’ve been boosting herself with Necromancy energy because it actually stung a bit despite my protective powers. “Don’t you lay that responsibility on me. I am the Margrave, I am not the leader of this place.”
Everyone stared at her for a moment, and just out of the corner of my eye, I could see Miranda lean closer to my dad to whisper very softly, “Are we sure she knows what Margrave mea--”
“It is the Count!” Laein cut in, giving Randi a sharp look. “Not the Queen, not the Royal Leader. Not the Master. I do what I must with these children to whip them into some sort of shape so we might have a chance of accomplishing the goal that one dreamed of.” Her hand gave a sharp wave my way. “She is the founder. I have no wish to be in charge of this. That would be her job.”
Stepping closer to her, I spoke as easily and calmly as I could, pushing down my worries about all this. They weren’t at all helpful now. “I can handle that, but only as long as you don’t leave.”
“Leave?” Laein made a noise of absolute disgust and offense at the very suggestion. “If I leave, you might screw this up. After I put so much work into it? Absolutely not, you can’t get rid of me.”
A snort escaped me despite myself. “I wouldn’t dream of trying. We’re all in this together. And uh, speaking of being in this together, how much did you know about that whole… Crossroads and Jacob thing? I mean, were you actually aware-- do you know what happened there today?”
“What, you mean about Crossroads sitting in Jacob’s Archive the whole time, until you got back so he could yank the rug out from under them and kick the whole lot out on their asses?” Laein started out completely blankfaced, but by the end she clearly couldn’t help the wide, delighted smile that had completely taken over. An audible snicker escaped her, shoulders shaking as she tried (sort of) to contain the laughter before finally clearing her throat. “Ahem, of course we know about that. Jacob spent plenty of time here, after all. Whenever he wasn’t busy preparing for this or that. And less lately, since he had so much to… to do…” She hesitated, actually looking a little awkward and uncertain briefly before finishing with a firm, “Well, he should tell you in his own time about all of that. It’s his place, not mine.” Her head bobbed. “Yes, yes, his place.”
Okay, now I was even more confused and uncertain about all that. And even more anxious for Jacob to show up and actually talk to me. Not that I was lacking in people I really needed and wanted to talk to right now. Hell, with any luck, we were actually going to add to that number by freeing Gaia very soon. Assuming all of this actually worked out the way it was supposed to.
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Hey now, let’s have some optimism here, Mountebank urged. We are absolutely going to save Gaia. Then we’re going to meet up with Avalon and Shiori and tell them not to talk about anything important at all for at least the length of an entire movie. A comedy. A meaningless, very dumb comedy. And when the movie’s over, we’re all going to sleep for about sixteen hours or so.
Man, a movie with my girls and then that much sleep? After saving Gaia and bringing her back where she belongs? That sounds like a dream, I admitted, allowing myself to imagine how that would feel for just a second. Then I set it aside, just for the moment. If I wanted to reach that dream and make it happen for real, we had to actually get the work part done first. Not to mention doing something to stop the Loyalists from rampaging all over the planet like a bunch of… well, the same sort of evil monsters they thought they were stopping. And right now, the next step to doing that was getting all the pieces together for the spell to locate Gaia’s prison.
While I was busy thinking about that, it was Miranda who spoke up. “Actually, hey, uh, we just heard about this dangerous assassin person who apparently claims basically all of South America up to very close to this area. So, are we-- I mean, is this whole school safe here?”
“What, you mean from Heitsi-eibib?” Laein gave her a curious look. “Well, yes, I would hope so.”
“Oh God,” I reflexively groaned at that, face dropping into my rising hands before continuing in a slightly muffled voice. “Please don’t tell me that’s just another disguise for Jacob or something.”
“Hah!” Laein chortled a bit. “Oooh, that’d be fun. Especially with how terrified those people, and those people--” She gestured toward Puriel, then the Committee. “-- are of them. No, no, no, I promise, Heitsi-eibib isn’t Jacob. Or any other version of you from any other timeline nonsense.”
Letting out a breath of relief, I asked, “But you do know them enough to say they wouldn’t bother this place? I mean, I know you’re on this side of the line, but you just sent a whole big group of students out on missions, and-- err, speaking from experience, sometimes things happen and you get a little turned around about whose property you’re actually standing on. They know not to go too far the wrong way, right?” I could just imagine a group of students chasing a nasty ghost or some sort of mystery creature right into that territory and setting off a Necromancy School - Magical Shapeshifting Assassin war barely five seconds after I finally made it here.
“We have an exception to the rule about trespassing,” Laein informed me, her voice calm and serious. “I said Jacob and Heitsi-eibib aren’t the same person. They do know each other. Quite well, in fact. They were friends for a long time. Drinking buddies, I think you could call them? He helped Heitsi-eibib through a few very difficult times. Including adjusting to their new, combined body. And, of course, he was pretty close to uniquely suited to talk them through the--” She paused, looking at us as we stared back at her. “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”
“I’m afraid not,” Calafia admitted. “Though, curious as I admit we are, this does sound like something they may not wish for us to hear about. I have no desire to make a new, very dangerous enemy just to satisfy my urge to hear the rest of that story in the proper order.”
“Well,” Laein mused aloud, “I suppose we could just try asking them how they feel about it.” With that, her gaze slowly moved across me and over to the others, as she raised an eyebrow expectantly. Which was when I realized who she was looking at.
Miranda.
She was looking right at Miranda, with those words hanging in the air while the rest of us stared in complete silence.
In that silence, I could see Miranda start a bit, mouth falling open as every single person there turned to look at her. She made a sort of weak, faltering noise, then started to say something.
And then whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the sound of uproarious laughter. Laein was clutching her side, doubled over as she stumbled a bit. She was cackling so hard she could barely stand up. There were tears in her eyes, and she kept trying to get some actual words out, only for them to become gibberish noises thanks to how hard she was laughing. It was only after a few seconds of that had passed that the small, pink figure finally managed to get out the words, “--looks on your faces! You absolutely believed it, you totally bought it, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, oh Mortja I’m done for, you actually believed it! The way you looked at her, you thought she was-- and she couldn’t even say anything-- and the noise-- and your faces when she started to talk!” Once again, her words completely dissolved into hysterical cackling.
“Um.” Miranda finally managed to speak up, raising a hand. “I guess this probably goes without saying by now, but I still feel like I should get it on the record just in case. I am not, nor have I ever been a secret, ancient shape-shifting trickster assassin, from South America or anywhere else.” Her shoulders rose in a shrug as she looked at me. “Sorry, I’m just plain old Miranda.”
“Okay, you’re a lot of things,” I informed her, stepping that way to pull the other girl into a hug. “but you are not plain. Or old, come to think of it. You’re my friend, Randi. Always and forever.”
A light snicker escaped the other girl as she returned the embrace. “You mean you’re really not upset that I’m not secretly a shapeshifting assassin trickster god, or whatever they really are?”
“I am definitely not upset about that,” I confirmed. “And I will absolutely get Laein back for that little game.”
After giving us a moment with that, Teach cleared his throat, looking regretful. “Ah, I do hate to interrupt a good friendship bonding moment, believe me. But there’s, err, some pretty pressing things going on out there, and if we’re waiting for the young woman to arrive, it’s not as though we can just make another time freeze bubble. She’d never get here. If there’s anything useful we can be doing while we wait, or… if you’d prefer, the four of us can leave and handle some things, then come back once she’s here and you’ve got everything put together for that spell.”
“Edward, no,” Sophronia put in. “We already agreed, if we make an appearance in the middle of any of those battles, it will attract the attention of our counterparts, and we will be hard-pressed to extract ourselves properly in order to be here for the spell itself. If we are going to take advantage of the chaos to save Gaia before they get organized once more, we have to make--”
A sharp whistle interrupted them, making everyone jerk around to look at Laein. She, in turn, spread her arms out, palms up. “What, you think I just brought you all over here for my health?” The cane, which had floated in the air while she did that, zipped back into one hand so she could use it to point at the nearby Haunted Mansion. “Go in there, take a left through the parlor, then straight on to the greenhouse. There’s a spell crystal there. Put all the energy you wanna share for the tracking spell in that, then you can all buzz right off and play heroes all you like.”
I wasn’t even going to ask how she’d known they were going to do something like that. Laein was clearly very well-informed, probably largely thanks to Jacob. And gods only knew who else.
Calafia, however, did start to voice her own question. “The amount of energy we need to provide for this to work would completely overload almost every type of spell crystal. Unless you have hundreds waiting in there, or a single one specifically and painstakingly prepared to--” She paused, seeing the rather intense look Laein was giving her before clearing her throat. “Ahem, yes, of course you would have. I don’t know why any of that would surprise me at this point.” With that, the woman shrugged at her companions. “In that case, there’s no time to waste.”
The four of them went that way, with Puriel and Spark following to add even more energy. Which would hopefully mean we’d have plenty to pull off this locator spell. Between four full Committee members and the man who was freaking Zeus, it’d be pretty scary if that wasn’t enough juice.
Once they were gone, I looked at Laein. “Can you at least tell us if you’re in enough contact with Jacob to know if he’s planning to come talk to us any time soon? I mean, I know he’s busy right now, trying to deal with… uh, whatever he’s dealing with, exactly. So are we. But I’d kinda like to catch up with my-- err…” I had started to say ‘other self’ but I really couldn’t think of Jacob as that by this point. He’d been separate from me for thousands of years. Four and a half thousand, to be exact. That was… Hey, can anyone in there do the mental math on--
Just barely under two hundred and thirty-seven of your entire physical lifetimes, came the response from Mountebank. You’d have to live your entire life up to this point two hundred and thirty-seven times to be as old as he is now.
Shaking off the feeling that brought on, I finished with, “-- my other brother. I’d like to catch up with him at some point.”
“Oh, he’ll definitely want to talk to you too!” Laein assured me with a quick, eager nod. “But if you want to know more, you should really discuss that with Marian. She’ll be here any second.”
“Oooh, Marian knows Jacob that well?” Percy piped up, while giving Cerberus a hardy series of pats along the side that made the big metal dog rapidly thump his foot appreciatively. Which was enough to make a thick cloud of dirt bounce in the air from the force of his thumping. “Can she tell us stories about him?”
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Laein noted, with a gesture toward a reddish-blue cloud that briefly appeared just down the path from us. Sure enough, Marian herself came walking right out of it. She wore that dark green hood up over her head, which slightly obscured her face in what was clearly magically-enhanced darkness. Still, it felt like I could see Skywalker, the Flique member who had been bonded to the girl to save her life.
“Ask me what?” she asked curiously, with barely a glance spared to the Committee people or Puriel.
“Percy was wondering if you know… uh, Jacob very well,” I explained, briefly wondering how I should explain to my dad that there was literally a piece of me inside this girl. Which kinda sorta made her… distant family?
And then something happened that made me completely reassess the ‘distant’ part of that. Marian looked back and forth between us and shrugged. “Do I know him? I mean, I’d hope so.
“After all, he is my father.”
Joke Tags: Be Honest? How Many Of You Totally Fell For Laein’s Joke For A Second?
