"No shit, your insane actions have consequences," Cinder commented, her face lengthening and becoming more draconic. "What are we going to do now, smart-ass?"

  She jabbed me in the side with a clawed finger.

  "Improvise," I replied.

  I pulled out Lance's anti-scrying wardstone and shoved a bunch more beast cores into it, cranking up the ward bubble strength, so that we could not be seen or overheard from below.

  "Vee, fox me up to the max," I ordered. "Give me big ears. I want to hear what they're chatting about."

  Vespera grabbed onto me and Cinder. I instantly felt foxier, my face fuzzing up and my ears stretching out. Through their combined unholy Omnid powers my hearing became amplified a hundredfold. I pivoted my fluffy ears down to the armored men below us, opening my eyes wide to see better.

  The view seemed to sharpen, gaining a new clarity.

  "I can make us invisible and maybe we can quickly get back into the tank..." Cinder began.

  "Shush, future Hearth-Wife," I said. "Trying to listen."

  Cinder opened her mouth to reprimand me again and failed to produce any words, staring at me with comically wide eyes and flashing violet-pink, the edges of her draconic mouth curling up slightly.

  "...crystalline construct of unknown design," a voice came from the tall man in spectacles in gray uniform with silver epaulettes. "The internal structure is... unprecedented."

  "Can you truly not determine its origins, Scrutimancer Weps?" Another voice asked. “Surely your Infix is high level enough to…”

  "Negative. The magical signature is... Incredibly complex. Multiple overlapping patterns. It's alive like… a dragon but also isn't. The core materia doesn't match anything from Arx that my Infix knows about!”

  "Could it be a Necromantic construct?"

  "No. It's a crystalline artifact like nothing I've never seen before. Dimensional magic of the highest order. It's like someone took a Kitlix and fused it to something terrible and then let it stew for forty thousand years."

  "How many years?" the man in the most lavish magisteel armor, presumably the Guard Captain, sputtered.

  "Forty two thousand years, Sir Sentiyagor," Weps replied with a sigh. "That's what Questik tells me. This is a truly arcane device.”

  "What about tracking its movements? Can we determine where it came from?"

  "From somewhere underground," Weps sighed. "From what we know, it went to the fountain, swallowed a foxkin and two human girls, then obliterated the central square and then devoured the three prisoners, then went through the sewers and now it's here. Alive and not alive, repairing itself and releasing steam. Scrutimancer Xistin is currently leading a team down the tunnel it made.”

  "So whoever was inside could still be alive?" Sir Sentiyagor asked.

  "Possibly," Scrutimancer Weps replied. "Though the outer layer temperature is... extreme. Any organic matter would have been incinerated. The crystalline structure seems designed to channel and contain massive amounts of magical energy."

  I watched from the tree as Larry and Nilli were escorted out of their farmhouse by armored guards. The farmers looked worried, Larry's dog ears flat against his head while Nilli's elk tail was completely puffed out.

  "Tell me what you saw," Scrutimancer Weps demanded.

  "Whatever do you mean?" Larry asked.

  "The crystalline construct, Sir Gootali!" Weps said impatiently, waving an arm at Miss Possible, as his Infix Kitlix stared at the farmer. "Who was operating it?"

  "Unless you have a signed order from a Judge, I shan't be answering any questions under an Infix," Larry crossed his arms.

  Weps grumbled and pulled out a paper with a glowing seal, presenting it to the farmer.

  "Either you answer our questions or you'll be considered as the Necromancer's collaborators," Weps stated coldly. “If you haven't heard, Shandria is under assault from dark forces. I have the wartime-order authority to arrest anyone on the spot.”

  Larry swallowed hard but maintained his composure. "We saw three young foxkin adventurers come outta that there crystal land-dragon. Brown-orange, black and white and rainbow haired. They wished for supper."

  “Supper?”

  "I served them scones, tea and stew," Nilli added nervously. "Paid well. Very polite."

  "Did they appear undead?" Weps demanded.

  "Officer," Larry frowned. "Do you really think that I would have my wife feed undead supper?"

  "They looked perfectly alive to me," Nilli added. "Just tired adventurers needing a rest. Said something about urban renewal work in the city."

  "Urban... renewal?" Weps repeated. "Describe exactly what they said."

  "The polite young foxkin gentleman mentioned hiring adventurers to demolish old buildings," Larry said. "For new infrastructure."

  "Did they give you their names?" Sir Sentiyagor demanded.

  "Sir Lex, Lady Voltara and Lady Castabriella," Nilli replied.

  Sir Sentiyagor looked at the Scrutimancer.

  "No reference found in Guildnet archives," Weps sighed. "Either fake names and fake identities or someone from outside the Shadow Empire."

  "Illusion magic?" Sentiyagor asked.

  "Mayhaps," Weps replied with a shrug.

  "And you said they paid well?" Weps turned back to the farmers. "With what currency?"

  "Celesteel cards," Larry replied.

  “What?! They gave you celesteel cards for some soup?!”

  “No, Sir Scrutimancer,” the farmer said. “For... for the farm. The trio bought our farm. We were planning to relocate to the Capital for nearly a week now and had the farm on sale at the Adventurers Guild."

  "They bought your farm?" Sir Sentiyagor's eyebrows shot up.

  "Yes," Larry nodded. "I told them that I was looking to sell, so Sir Lex gave me three celesteel cards for it. He said they were opening a bank and building a city next to Shandria."

  "What?!" Weps sputtered, his glasses nearly falling off as his Kitix flashed green. "Show me the cards."

  Larry pulled out the celesteel cards from his pocket. The magic currency glinted in the evening light.

  Weps snatched them, holding them up to his glasses. The Infix Kitlix's eyes flashed as it scanned the cards.

  "Genuine," Weps muttered.

  "Could they be from the vault that was just destroyed?" Sir Sentiyagor asked.

  "Mayhaps," Weps tucked the cards into his robe. "These are now evidence."

  "Hey! Those are our life savings!" Larry protested. "They paid us fair and square for the farm, we signed a property transfer contract and everything!"

  "These cards may be stolen property," Weps said coldly. "You'll get them back if the transaction is proven legitimate..."

  My eye twitched.

  “Vee,” I growled. "Make me sound like an old and wise man. Also, can you project my voice from Miss Possible via Voicecast? Also give me control over the volume.”

  "Ye," Vespera nodded. She tapped her token, reshaping the hexagram on it with her electrical current and handed it to me. “Turn this dial left to mute the cast, or to the right make yourself extra loud.”

  I nodded, cranking up the volume.

  "Is this how Shandrian Authorities handle legitimate business transactions?" My well-aged voice boomed from Miss Possible's crystalline form, amplified a hundredfold, making several guards jump. "By stealing from honest farmers?"

  Cinder silently stared at me with wide eyes, probably wondering what whack shenanigans I was trying to pull.

  "Who speaks?" Weps demanded as he spun to Miss Possible.

  "I am Lord Protector," I declared through Miss Possible. "Those celesteel cards were payment for property acquisition. I suggest you return them to the farmers or else."

  "Or else what?" Weps demanded.

  "Or else I will be forced to conclude that Shandrian City Watch authorities are corrupt and cannot be trusted to handle legitimate business transactions," I declared through Miss Possible. "Which would be most unfortunate for future cooperation between our organizations."

  "Future cooperation?" Sir Sentiyagor scoffed. "You destroyed a Mage Tower! You interfered with a public execution! Are you in cahoots with the Necromancer?"

  "What organization?" Weps asked. He glanced at his Kitlix which remained pale silver. The truth hex wasn't functioning when someone's voice was broadcast via Voicecast and projected from an artifact.

  "My organization," I answered. "The Clandestine Order of Thunder and Rainbow.”

  "What?" Weps asked. “I’ve never heard of such an Order.”

  “You haven’t lived long enough to hear about us, Scrutimancer,” I said.

  “What?” Weps repeated.

  "We've been fighting Necromancer Zalimar for forty two thousand years," I said. "His servants were devoured by our engine."

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  "So you admit it!" Weps accused. "You interfered with a public execution..."

  The other guards looked at the Omni tank, considering how to take it down.

  "SILENCE!" I barked, making the Watchmen wince and fall silent. "I stopped a trio of criminal scum who killed children in Shandria for more than two hundred and fifty two years! I saved your city! You should praise me!”

  “Praise you? You... saved Shandria?!” Weps demanded. “What nonsense is this?!”

  "You were going to burn a trio of cursed monsters alive and call it justice?" I laughed dramatically. "Fool's justice. Such action would have activated a dark ritual which would have decimated Shandria! Only crystalline imprisonment can hold a true servant of entropy. They are now contained within my engine, being purified by holy light. You are aware of how arcane my engine is, yes?”

  Weps' frowned as he stared at Miss Possible's crystalline form. "Your engine construct... predates the Shadow Empire."

  "Indeed," I declared. "As you can plainly see by the age of my device, we are a truly Arcane Order. For millennia we have protected the innocent from evil beings who cannot die, holding back the ocean of darkness. It was my machine that saved Shandria today, preventing Duskbloom from flooding your streets. Only a single Mage Tower fell today, when it could have been a thousand! By imprisoning the cursed servants of the dark one within my crystalline engine's heart, I have stopped his dark ritual and saved all of you from oblivion."

  Weps considered my words. "And what proof do you have of these claims?"

  "Proof?" I barked through Miss Possible, the sound echoing across the fields. "What proof can you offer me that you do not serve the Dark Lord who has already corrupted the Arx Bank with his evil, Scrutimancer Weps? My engine exhumed much cursed essence from the bank today, preventing far greater disaster than you can possibly imagine."

  "Cursed essence?" Weps asked. "What cursed essence?"

  "A dark curse contained within gold coins and artifacts that I have destroyed," I replied. "The Bank was going to spread it across the city, infect thousands and turn them into ghouls. You're welcome."

  "What?" Weps sputtered. "That's preposterous! The Arx Bank is a legitimate..."

  "Is it?" I interrupted. "Consider this, Scrutimancer. There's an immortal, eldritch, dark god who is sealed right below the Arx Bank's vault. He is guarding a gate from which Topaz has been infesting your city for millennia. An abomination that cannot be killed or stopped. He calls himself Gate Keeper Vassili. It is an entropic entity of the highest order, bound to a dimensional gate created by Dark Lord Zalimar."

  "What is he talking about?" Sir Sentiyagor turned to Weps.

  “Scrutimancer Xistin is walking down the stairwell as we speak,” he said.

  “Xistin and his team will soon find the immortal entity at the end of the spiral stairwell," I nodded. "How far down are they already?"

  "Five clicks," Weps replied.

  "Then, tell them to send their Kitlix forward and listen," I said. "The Gate Keeper should be communicating with one of the servants of Dark Lord Zalimar.”

  I muted the Voicecast volume going to Miss Possible from Vee’s token and grabbed my own token.

  "Vee, make me sound normal and humanize me," I said. Vespera nodded and my face became human again. “Make a static noise of interference.”

  “Mkay,” Vespera started rubbing her talons together making an electric interference hissing and crackling noise.

  "Voicecast Brother Vassili of the Omnid Chapel," I said.

  "Yes, Mr. Glock?" Vassili's voice crackled through my token, his face appearing from my token as a blue and white hologram. "Is your team safe? Why have you not returned to the gate?"

  "Hey Gate Keeper Vassili," I yelled over the static Vee was making. "We are safe, yes. Sadly, we can't make it to the chapel!"

  "Why the Abyss not?!" The Keeper demanded.

  "You’ve been working for Instructor Zalimar for a long time, yes Keeper?" I asked.

  "Yes."

  "Sorry," I said. "The connection is fuzzy due to magic interference, can you be a bit louder? I can't hear you."

  "Yes! I… work with Instructor Zalimar!" The keeper boomed.

  "Mmmm... can you be louder?" I asked. "What did you just say? Can't hear you over this damn static!"

  "Yes! I work for Instructor Zalimar!" The keeper yelled even louder, his voice echoing across his cavern.

  Scrutimancer Keps went pale.

  "What?" Sir Sentiyagor asked.

  "Scrutimancer Xistin's team just reported in," Weps swallowed. "They heard an old man’s voice echoing up the stairwell, someone declaring their allegiance to the Necromancer."

  The Shandrian Scrutimancer tapped his glasses.

  "Xistin! Send your Kitlix down to investigate, don't engage until you see the target," he barked an order to his assistant. “Cast the view and sound from your Kitlix to my Seer-Lens.”

  "Understood," Xistin replied, his voice emerging from Weps' spectacles.

  "Say, how long have you been working in that cave, Keeper?” I yelled through the static.

  "Been here about seventeen thousand years now," Vassili replied loudly. "Ever since Lord Zalimar brought me here from Earth. I used to be a monk in Kiev, you see. Zalimar saved me and my cousins from death when Napoleon’s army invaded Moscow and the Russians set their own city aflame. We all work across various dimensional gate locations now for his delving network."

  I watched as Weps' face went even paler.

  "And you've been helping Lord Zalimar with Gate Weaver breeding?" I asked innocently. "Making those little spiders that weave dimensional gates?"

  "Of course!" Vassili boomed. "I take care of the Gate weavers from the other side, making sure the connection is stable!"

  "Do you help out with the Topaz trade too?" I asked.

  "Topaz? Pah. Just a bit o' money on the side," Vassili replied with a shrug. "Takes lots of beast cores to run the dimensional gate for so many thousands of years. Gateweavers' gotta eat."

  "Doesn't it get lonely down there?" I asked.

  "Lonely?" Vassili laughed loudly. "Not at all! We Domovoy don't get lonely much. 'Sides some night-moths do come from upstairs from time to time. Good cash for ‘em. Course, I have to erase their minds after."

  "What, you can do that?” I asked. “Just erase someone's mind?"

  "Of course! The local Arx-kin are weak, mortal," the Keeper replied. "Like fireflies they are. In my domain, I can do anything I desire. As long as my domain persists, I cannot die!” He boasted merrily.

  Weps swallowed.

  "What are all of these questions, pupil?" The Keeper asked. "Why haven't you returned with Emerald's group?"

  "Just making conversation. Sadly, the many-armed Corpse-thing you sent arrived too late," I said apologetically. "Emerald's group was taken by some old man in a land-dragon who calls himself Lord Protector. We are currently tracking them down."

  "What?!" Vassili boomed. "You must find them immediately!"

  "We totally are," I said. "The beast you sent is sniffing out the trail. We'll call you when we get them."

  I hung up on the Omnid Chapel Keeper with a smug face. Cinder was still staring while Vee was trying hard not to laugh out loud.

  Scrut Weps and Sir Sentiyagor huddled together, speaking in hushed tones. The guards shifted nervously, their armor clanking softly.

  "By Her Shadow," Weps muttered, loud enough for my enhanced hearing to pick up. "An immortal necromancer's servant, right under our noses for thousands of years..."

  "And this Thunder and Rainbow Order has been fighting them?" Sir Sentiyagor asked, glancing at the Miss Possible.

  "It would explain the arcane construct," Weps replied.

  I asked Vee to change me back into a fox with a deep voice and cranked up the volume on the voicecast connected to Miss Possible.

  "Are you satisfied?" I boomed from Miss Possible. "I suggest your men don't approach the Necromancer's dark servant. The entity can erase minds with ease. It is nearly omnipotent within its domain."

  “I’m afraid I can’t take an order from you, Lord Protector,” Weps said. “It is my duty to investigate the truth and to attempt to arrest the Necromancer’s servant.

  “Suit yourself,” I sighed dramatically.

  I watched through the gaps in the thick foliage as Weps ordered Scrutimancer Xistin's team to proceed down the spiral stairwell and confront the immortal entity.

  “By the way... Lord Protector, what happened to the two humans and a fox your engine has consumed?” Weps asked.

  “Nothing,” I said. “They are agents of our most ancient Clandestine Order. They went back to Shandria after purchasing this lovely farm.”

  “I see,” Weps said and returned to his observations of Xistin.

  Minutes ticked by in tense silence as the Scrutimancer directed his assistant.

  "Xistin!" Weps suddenly barked into his glasses after ten minutes. "What are you all doing?! I told you to arrest that old man!"

  "What old man? There was no old man there. There’s nothing to report, sir," Xistin's voice came back, sounding oddly calm and distant. "We're heading back up. There's nothing down here worth investigating. It's just a wall, a dead end."

  "What do you mean 'just a wall'?" Weps demanded. "What about the immortal entity you just heard?"

  "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sir," Xistin replied serenely. "We found nothing down there. No signs of any entities or unusual activity."

  "But... but your Kitlix..." Weps sputtered.

  "My Kitlix is back on me. We are heading back to the city," Xistin uttered from the Voicecast. "There's clearly nothing here worth investigating. The tunnel simply ended in a wall."

  "I am ordering you to..." Weps barked.

  "I am telling you, Sir! There is NOTHING there! It's a dead end!" Xistin fired back.

  Weps growled in frustration.

  "What happened?" Sir Sentiyagor asked. “What did you see, Weps?!”

  "They reached a gold cavern inhabited by an old, hairy man and he simply told them to forget him and never to return," Weps said. "Damnation!"

  I grinned at Cinder who's mouth was open wide.

  "I did warn you," I said through the crystalline tank. "The Gate Keeper entity cannot be approached or arrested. It exists outside of your jurisdiction, is way above your level. I suggest you head back to the city. Night is coming and you don't want to become snacks for Leviathan Nightingale's flock. My engine will depart this place in due time."

  "And go where?" Weps demanded.

  "To hunt more dark servants of entropy," I replied. "Wherever they are found. As we have done for forty-two thousand years on Arx. Sadly, while I prevented the destruction of Shandria my engine was unable to destroy the gate Keeper Entity. Thus, I suggest you use the Shandrian Mage Towers to dimensionally seal that cavern off, so that nobody else can wander down there."

  "And just leave that thing under Shandria?!" Weps growled.

  "I'm sorry, what level are you again?" I asked. "Do you really think where my forty-two-thousand year old engine failed, you can succeed? Do you really think that your men can take on an eldritch entity that's been bound to that cave for seventeen thousand years? Really, Scrutimancer Weps? Why don't you stop flapping around and consult a Seerscope about how your future will turn out if you attempt to hostile the Gate Keeper or keep annoying me and don’t return the good farmers their well-earned cash?”

  Weps pulled out an ornate compass-like device from his robes - presumably a Seerscope. He tapped it, whispering something to it.

  "Well?" Sir Sentiyagor asked impatiently.

  "The needle... is pointing directly to 'Catastrophe'," Weps muttered with a frown.

  "Perhaps we should... seal that cavern," Sir Sentiyagor suggested carefully.

  Weps looked like he ate a lemon.

  "A wise choice," I declared through Miss Possible. "Now. Give the farmers back their money. And leave this place. This farm now belongs to the Clandestine Order of Thunder and Rainbow."

  Weps hesitated, then pulled out the celesteel cards and handed them back to Larry.

  "Thank you for your cooperation," the Scrutimancer said stiffly to the farmers. "We'll be investigating this matter further."

  "I'm sure you will," I boomed. "When my Order is done processing the cursed paperwork we have secured from the Arx Bank, it will be delivered to you via our agents. Within it, you will likely discover further evidence of Lord Zalimar's horrific crimes against the people of Shandria. Good evening, gentlemen."

  The guards began to withdraw, their armor clanking as they nervously moved away from Miss Possible. Sir Sentiyagor and Weps lingered for a moment, studying the crystalline construct one last time before finally turning away.

  We watched from our tree perch as the armored figures disappeared into the distance, heading back towards Shandria. The farmers went back into their house.

  "Thunder and Rainbow?" Cinder commented. "Really?"

  "What?" I shrugged. "It's technically true. We are opposing dastardly Instructor Zalimar!"

  Cinder crossed her arms.

  "It sounds like a freaking breakfast cereal mascot group," she grumbled. "Like, here comes Captain Thunder with his sidekick Rainbow Sparkles to save you from the evil Doctor No-Breakfast."

  “It is a rather silly name,” Vespera broke out into cackling laughter.

  "Everyone's a critic," I shrugged. "What else was I supposed to call us? The League of Extraordinary Gentlefoxes? The Justice League of Dragon, Human and Birb? The Avengers of Arx?"

  "How about something that doesn't sound like it came from a five-year-old's coloring book?" Cinder said.

  "The Dark and Brooding Alliance of Edgy Teens?" I offered. "The Brooding Brigade? The Goth Patrol? The Emo Enforcers?"

  "That's it," Cinder growled, lunging at me. We tumbled off the branch together, her wings wrapping around me as we fell.

  "The Dramatic Fallout!" I called out as we descended. "Perfect name, see what I did there?"

  "Urgh." Cinder said as we landed softly in the grass. "That's even worse."

  "The Murder Squad?" I offered. "No, wait - The Murder Friends! Get it? Cus Vee's like a dark crow-looking character and..."

  Vee chortled as she descended beside us, holding onto Lance's anti-scrying wardstone.

  "I will bite you," Cinder threatened.

  "Go ahead," I grinned. "I'll bite you back. I have sharp fox-chompers now. Rawr."