Intern’s Log: I Just Heard from the Presidents of Russia, the USA, a Few Prime Ministers—Oh, and Hey, Pope John Paul II is Back. Also, the Other Guy is a Bit Concerned for His Job.

  Date: [I Am Not Qualified for This]

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (We broke reality, and now my phone won't stop ringing.)

  So.

  I expected chaos.

  I expected confusion.

  I expected monsters and soldiers, war and fire, cities flickering between existence and oblivion.

  I did not expect my inbox to be flooded with calls from world leaders.

  Or for one of those calls to be from a dead pope.

  Phase One: The Calls Start Pouring In

  First came Russia.

  ? The Kremlin demanded to know why half of Moscow suddenly had pre-Soviet architecture.

  ? Some of their officials are now wearing Imperial Russian military uniforms—and they don’t know why.

  ? One guy showed up to work fully convinced it was still 1896.

  ? Oh, and apparently Ivan the Terrible might be wandering around somewhere.

  Then came the White House.

  ? The President wants to know why he now has two Vice Presidents.

  ? The Pentagon is in a full panic because some of their war plans are written in languages that don’t exist.

  ? The Lincoln Memorial keeps shifting between marble and solid gold.

  ? One particular CIA agent is very, very angry that he now has a Soviet counterpart who is equally confused.

  Then a few Prime Ministers.

  ? The UK has two Prime Ministers arguing over who is real.

  ? France is dealing with the sudden reappearance of the Bourbon monarchy.

  ? Australia is relatively fine but very drunk.

  And then…

  Then I got a call from the Vatican.

  Phase Two: Pope John Paul II Wants to Talk

  At this point, I was not answering my phone.

  I was drinking heavily.

  Then Bandit slid my phone across the table.

  "Uh, buddy? You might want to take this one."

  I glanced at the screen.

  I saw the caller ID.

  And I nearly spit out my drink.

  It just said:

  "Pope John Paul II."

  I stared at Bandit.

  "This is a joke, right?"

  Bandit held up his paws.

  "Nope."

  I slowly answered.

  "…Hello?"

  And then—

  "Ah! Mr. Reynolds! God bless you, my son."

  I dropped the phone.

  Because I know that voice.

  And John Paul II has been dead since 2005.

  Phase Three: The Vatican’s Existential Crisis

  I picked up the phone again.

  "Uh. Your Holiness?"

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  "Yes, my son. It is good to speak with you. Though I must say, this is a most peculiar situation."

  "Yeah. That’s one way to put it."

  "I appear to have… returned. The Vatican is very confused. As is the other Pope."

  Oh.

  Oh no.

  "You mean—"

  "Yes. Pope Francis is still here as well. He is very concerned. We are discussing the nature of this dilemma."

  I could hear voices arguing in the background.

  In Latin.

  Very angrily.

  And then—

  "Reynolds, what did you do?"

  That was a new voice.

  A very annoyed Pope Francis.

  I sighed.

  "I didn’t do it. Bandit did."

  I could hear John Paul II laughing.

  "Ah! The raccoon! Yes, I was reading about him. Very resourceful."

  Bandit grinned at me.

  "The Pope thinks I’m resourceful. That means I can do no wrong."

  "BANDIT, I SWEAR TO GOD—"

  "Yes?" John Paul II interrupted.

  I nearly passed out.

  Phase Four: The New Political Nightmare

  ? The world is now dealing with duplicate leaders.

  ? Some nations no longer know who is in charge.

  ? The Vatican currently has two Popes arguing theology in real-time.

  ? The UN has stopped functioning because half of their diplomats are now people from parallel versions of Earth.

  ? And I am getting way too many calls about all of this.

  And then, as if this couldn’t get worse—

  Zil-Vatek called again.

  Phase Five: The Alien Perspective (Drunk Again, Of Course)

  "REEEEYYYNOLLLLDS!"

  "Not now, Zil."

  "I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS!*

  "WE ARE ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS, ZIL!"

  "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO EXPLAIN TO THE GALACTIC COUNCIL THAT AN OLD HUMAN RELIGIOUS LEADER JUST SHOWED UP AGAIN?!"

  "Try explaining it to the other Pope!"

  "THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING! WHY ARE THERE TWO?!"

  "I DON’T KNOW, ZIL!"

  There was a long silence.

  Then, in a very small, very broken voice:

  "Reynolds, I need a drink."

  "You and me both, buddy."

  Phase Six: The Architects Are Going to Have a Meltdown

  ? The Forgotten have returned.

  ? World leaders are now duplicated, replaced, or overwritten.

  ? The Vatican has two Popes.

  ? The Galactic Council is losing their collective minds.

  ? Reality itself has become a logistical nightmare.

  And the Architects?

  They have no idea how to fix this.

  Because this was never part of their design.

  Because Bandit broke something they might not be able to repair.

  And because for the first time…

  They are the ones struggling to understand what’s real.

  Final Thoughts (I Need a Break, but Reality Will Not Allow It)

  ? I have now spoken to a dead Pope.

  ? World governments are in chaos.

  ? Zil-Vatek is drunk. Again.

  ? The Architects are panicking.

  ? Bandit has done something that cannot be undone.

  I don’t know what happens next.

  But I do know this—

  Reality is no longer theirs to control.

  And that means we might just win.

  End Log.