Ch 150
Matt found himself staring at his own reflection as Radoznaormr held his puppet over his real body. Understanding the implication, Matt had his puppet revert to its normal state of flesh and blood, releasing its grip on Radoznaormr’s arm. A moment later, Radoznaormr was smiling smugly, preparing to dictate exactly how things were going to proceed.
“You have five days in this world to get your puppet up to full size. I don’t care how you do it, but if you can’t, then you’re of no use to me. Be grateful I’m even giving you that long; if you were an A rank, I’d expect you to be able to create full-sized puppets from the start. After that, you will have the same amount of time to ensure your puppet is as effective in a fight as you are, and you must be able to control it and yourself simultaneously.”
“You’re asking for the impossible,” retorted Matt, frustration evident in his voice. “Even if I manage to control both, I’ll be constantly jumping back and forth between them, and I don’t see that being the best solution.”
“It won’t be,” replied Radoznaormr with a dismissive tone. “I’m not asking for perfection; in fact, I’m not asking for anything. I am simply telling you what you will accomplish in the next ten days in this world if you value your life. You might discover that the best results emerge when under a sufficient amount of pressure, and if you can’t excel under pressure, then you’re worthless to me anyways.”
Matt simply frowned as he pulled out more food and started eating while switching control between himself and his puppet. He figured that it would be best to work on both goals at the same time, and by doing the exact same thing with each body, it would at least be easier than if he was having each do completely different tasks. Yet, he knew he would need to build up to that point eventually, and he couldn't really see how he was going to accomplish this, as this went beyond just tapping his head while rubbing his belly. All he could think was that he needed to perceive the world through two bodies at the same time and not be able to differentiate between which was real and which was fake—a seemingly impossible task.
With that thought, Matt devoted every ounce of effort he could to his two tasks. Eventually, he managed to walk around with his real body as his puppet continued to pack on mass, after a few hours of struggling to merely stand up and move one body at a time. The puppet's flesh visibly expanded with each bite of food it consumed, growing denser and more substantial by the minute. Through this experience, Matt realized that he was able to control both bodies simultaneously. The main issue he found was that he was unaccustomed to processing all the information that was required to function as two separate people with a single mind.
It was the singular mind aspect that Matt found himself focused on as he thought about what dictated that he had to have only one mind. After all, he knew that both bodies had their own brains, and if left alone, both would breathe and carry out other basic functions with no effort from him. It was just like they were in a vegetative state when he wasn't focused on them. Matt couldn't help but think about a technique that both Greg and Emily had talked about when he had been exploring the best way to take advantage of having multiple bodies: partitioning his mind.
Matt didn't like the way either of them had described what it would mean to partition his mind. It made him think that he would be willingly going crazy, as it would require allowing different parts of his mind to develop their own personalities. The mere thought of his consciousness fracturing into distinct entities made his skin crawl. Perhaps "sense of self" would be a better way to describe it, but Matt didn't really see much of a difference, as the different parts of his mind would experience different things. This could only result in the two selves drifting apart over time, that was unless there was a third self that mixed the two—a mental bridge connecting disparate islands of consciousness.
It was with this thought that Matt truly lost track of everything as something fundamental seemed to shift within him. What if, instead of maintaining multiple selves constantly, he absorbed everything about each self any time it slept and then recreated the self from the whole any time it woke? This would allow him to control all his bodies while essentially controlling nothing, as his main self would simply focus inwardly, concentrating on just feeling the general state of all his bodies like a spider sensing vibrations across its web.
The first time Matt thought he had succeeded in taking the first step on the path that he believed would work for this approach ended with him collapsing as pain shot through his mind like nothing else he had ever experienced. He had only isolated a piece of his mind and let it think for itself for all of ten seconds before reabsorbing it. Yet just that brief separation had been enough to hurt more than any of the injuries he had sustained since the integration—a searing, white-hot agony that felt like his consciousness was being torn apart and hastily stitched back together. Even so, he returned to trying to make it work the moment he could think straight again, only to suffer the same fate. At least it gained him a base stat boost to his mind stat, was what he told himself as he did it yet again.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
This was the beginning of a very vicious cycle as Matt began to lose track of how many times he had failed. Yet, amid his failures, he discovered success as well. Although absorbing any part of himself that had been split off was agonizing, it wasn’t unbearable, and it seemed that the duration of time did little to change the level of pain. This was why Matt allowed his puppet, which was focused on gaining mass, to continue doing just that while he concentrated on creating a third self to control his true body. After failing once more, he found himself interrupted by Radoznaormr.
“I am just letting you know that the first five days are up, and your puppet is still a few inches short, but I will accept it only because I can see that you are making some interesting progress on the harder challenge. Tell me, what is it that you are doing?”
“I am splitting parts of my mind into its own self and allowing it to run my body. The issue arises in reabsorbing it, as it is too painful for me to consider it acceptable for long-term use.”
“Of course that would be painful,” Radoznaormr retorted, shaking his head in what looked like mild exasperation. “Every time you do that, you’re essentially killing a version of yourself. I’m actually surprised you haven’t attacked yourself outright using such a crude method. Then again, maybe you have and just don’t realize it yet.”
Matt rubbed his temples, feeling the faint thrum of energy pulsing beneath his skin. “Maybe that’s why it hurts so much—my instincts clashing with my own abilities at the last split second,” he murmured. “By now I’ve learned to keep all of them on standby, ready at a moment’s notice in case of an ambush.”
“That’s precisely the issue with someone thrust into the System after living without it,” Radoznaormr agreed. “Even if your home world was a tinderbox of chaos, nothing could truly prepare you for the transformations you’d endure or the threats you’d face here. You adapt by living on the edge, endlessly searching for a survival strategy, until every whisper of movement becomes an enemy. Where reason would make you hesitate, you act immediately and deal with the fallout later. No matter how difficult it feels, you must learn to loosen your grip ever so slightly if you want to master yourself completely.”
Matt snorted, a dry, humorless sound. “Right—relax,” he echoed, his tone dripping with irony. “Meanwhile, I’m racing against the deadline they’ve set for my execution if I fail. Not exactly the most consistent advice, if you’ll excuse my observation.”
“I never said it would be easy,” Radoznaormr replied, stepping back and crossing his arms. “Still, you should appreciate that for now you don’t have to worry about anyone coming within a mile of you while I watch over you. Unless,” he leaned closer, eyes narrowing, “you think your little ability intimidates me and that all of this is some elaborate ruse to lower your guard. If that’s your suspicion, you’d do well to focus on taming your paranoia before it consumes you completely.”
Before Matt could retort, Radoznaormr vanished again, leaving behind only a brief shimmer in the air. Matt exhaled, shoulders sagging, and retreated into his own thoughts. Was he truly too paranoid? His first impulse insisted that unwavering suspicion was essential to survival. Yet another voice whispered that what good was life if fear dictated every decision? Had he not already maxed out his mental base stat through endless psychic drills, that inner debate might have netted him a few points. Instead, when the echoes faded, all he felt was a hollow disappointment—and the unsettling certainty that it really didn’t matter.
After all, he knew that if someone like Radoznaormr wanted to kill him, instantly transporting him to space would be all he had to do. At that point, he would find himself right back in the same perilous situation he had been in while trapped inside the metallic sphere. The only question then would be whether he could survive long enough to be returned to Earth if he was tossed into space without any warning. If he was honest with himself, he didn't think he would fare too well in that scenario, as major damage would occur instantly. At least, that was what Matt believed, given his uncertainty about how the physics of the system would work with his current stats. In the end, Matt could only think of one course of action, and that was to reach out to Greg, Emily, and the others for the first time since Radoznaormr's arrival.
"So, I was right," commented Greg once Matt had finished explaining everything. "Still, you're actually trying to partition your mind and finding some success with it. I can't help but say that I'm shocked, as I didn't think you would succeed at all at this point."
"It has to be his bloodline," stated Emily, firmly. "Nothing else makes sense for why he can make puppets from his own cells and accomplish splitting his mind at all."
"I don't know; he has more than one type of essence that I think could be at play here," argued Greg. "If nothing else, his hope essence could be supercharging everything he's doing as he fights to find a path to survive."
"I don't think I've been heavily using any of my essence skills for this," stated Matt. "No, it feels like I'm altering the very core of who or what I am as I do this. Worst of all, I suspect Radoznaormr is leading me to a conclusion that he desires."
"Of course he is," scoffed Emily, rolling her eyes. "To those with true power, we're nothing more than toys and tools for them to manipulate at will. The mere fact that we know Tempormr will try to reach out when Greg enters another safe room has us constantly moving with far too little rest. The real question you need to be asking yourself is, between Radoznaormr and Tempormr, who do you think you can work with more readily?"
"Radoznaormr," answered Matt almost instantly, with a slight nod. "Even if we started out with a less-than-ideal relationship, at least he hasn't started to treat me like he owns me."
Emily nodded in agreement, her voice filled with a newfound confidence. "Then you just need to accept that things will be what they will be and smile while fighting for your life to complete the task he set for you. If that means you risk him killing you early for letting your guard down, so be it."
Matt nodded again, feeling his mind and body resolve themselves. He decided to end the conversation there and just spend some time with them, trying to relax. He wasn't sure it had done much, but when it was time for him to return to his main body once more, he at least felt like he was in a better mood.
