Ch 208.
Matt watched as days passed since the ship carrying Jaelyne’s and Apricity’s groups arrived, noting how the first few buildings began to take shape within the fort. To his surprise, the fort seemed to possess a kind of intelligence, or at least it responded to the subtle nudges of his subconscious. Only a single section of the structures had materialized so far, just large enough to accommodate the newcomers who had settled in. Despite this progress, Matt recognized the urgent need to focus on gathering the remaining materials; the fort still lacked sufficient wood and metal after stripping the surrounding area bare. This was the very topic he had just finished discussing with Jaelyn and Apricity, having been pulled into a meeting immediately upon exiting the dungeon.
“Are we done now?” Matt groaned, his voice laced with impatience as he leaned back in his chair, eager to bring the meeting to a close. “Any one of my puppets could have handled this just as easily as I did.”
“There’s an importance in people knowing it’s the real you talking with us,” Jaelyn replied, her expression firm as she met his gaze. The intensity of her look made it clear that he wasn’t free to leave just yet. “Even if you insist that all of your puppets can speak as if they are you, others will doubt the authenticity if you use them while you’re right here.”
“I would argue the opposite,” Matt countered, crossing his arms defiantly. “If everyone sees that I’m never present for these meetings yet always seem to know what’s going on—”
“There’s also the issue of how long your puppets can withstand an attack,” Apricity interjected, her tone serious. “The world is reaching a point where they won’t be able to roam freely much longer.”
“I am well aware of the limits of my abilities,” Matt replied, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. “More so than any of you do, and no, I can’t explain further. There are valid reasons why I avoid meetings like this and why I try to spend every moment not sleeping in the dungeon.”
“Fine then, be that way,” Apricity grumbled, letting out a resigned sigh. “But the ship needs to leave, and Louie is still down there, either lost or worse.”
“He’s not dead,” Matt said with a dismissive snort. “You’d know that if you’d checked the organization roles; I added him back before he re-entered the dungeon with the gear we managed to gather for him.”
“Yes, well how long do you expect the ship to just sit off the coast?” Apricity pressed, her frustration clearly stemming from deeper issues than just the ship’s delay.
“How about you just yell at me for what you really want to yell at me for?” he shot back.
“Matt, you can be a real idiot sometimes,” Jaelyn commented, shaking her head in exasperation. “Apricity isn’t—”
“Going to confront the issue she has directly? Risk burning a bridge with me? Tell me I’m a heartless bastard for kicking Rose out of Scattered Stars? I could go on—”
“Why do you seem hell-bent on being an asshole to every woman who shows interest in you?” Apricity shouted, her voice rising with emotion. “We have no way of knowing if Rose is even alive because of you. I thought you actually cared about her!”
“I did,” Matt replied coldly, his expression hardening. “I still do, and that’s exactly why it has to be this way. I made a mistake when I agreed to try dating each of you, and now I’ll only be seen as a liar for refusing to date any of you.”
“Why!?” Apricity pressed, standing up with her fists balled tightly at her sides as she glared at him, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Why are you acting like this?”
“I’ll only tell you once we’re both at A rank, and the same goes for the others,” he stated firmly. “As for the ship, it can leave whenever it likes; just ensure one of my clones is aboard to help it navigate.”
With that, Matt trudged away to seek rest, wrestling with the gnawing pain that accompanied his thoughts of Rose and the choices he had made. Thanks to the system he couldn’t even talk about his B rank ability even if he demonstrated its effects. This limitation left him feeling trapped, unable to share the critical mission that his other self was currently undertaking with the organization’s leadership. He had insisted on waiting until they both reached A rank before revealing anything, a decision rooted in his desire to avoid the uncomfortable truth. By placing that conversation beyond their immediate reach, he could delay facing the reality of his situation. As he lay down, a flicker of longing surged within him, wishing he could be the one bored in the other world, simply waiting for something to happen.
“This is getting ridiculous,” Matt grumbled, sitting in what he was beginning to perceive as more of a cell than a room, his voice echoing slightly off the cold stone walls as he spoke with Radoznaormr. “They haven’t even come to check on me since they found out I could feed myself. You’d think they’d be at least a little curious about me.”
“They likely fear being seen as doing anything more than the bare minimum,” Radoznaormr replied, his tone dripping with annoyance at being disturbed. “Just because you’re bored doesn’t mean you should be chatting with me like this. What if they’re monitoring you and decide they want to take an interest in the giant gem you keep talking to?”
“I’d just laugh and tell them if they want to deal with you, they can be my guest,” Matt shot back, a smirk creeping onto his face. “Honestly, this world feels like a wasteland, so much so that it hardly seems worth caring about based on what my puppets report back to me.”
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“Most worlds are worse than this before integration occurs. In situations like yours, the system combines many lifeless realms into one populated planet to enhance its potential. However, when an entire solar system lacks even a single habitable world, it allows whoever discovers it first to terraform it according to their whims. This reality makes infestation races particularly troublesome, as they can terraform worlds with ease due to their minimal requirements for sustaining life.”
“Why should I care about such things?” Matt retorted.
Radoznaormr exhaled slowly, as if he needed to gather his thoughts before addressing Matt. “You should care because, even if much of what could have been terraformed in your solar system has vanished, the quickest way to tackle the challenges that will arise from your world becoming an S-ranked world is to terraform an empty world like this one. Instead of adopting a gradual approach focused on research and careful manipulation of results, you would establish a few domes and hastily convert the planet to suit your needs.”
“Right, empty worlds have no say in their fate,” Matt shot back, bitterness lacing his words. “So is that how the universe operates once the system takes over—a chaotic scramble to seize and control whatever worlds they can reach first?”
“Yes,” Radoznaormr replied, his tone steady yet serious, “and you need allies if your organization wishes to retain even a single—”
“Who cares?” Matt interrupted, the weight of despair evident in his voice. “What am I even doing here?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not happy, and every action I take only drags me deeper into misery. I kept telling myself that if I could just overcome these obstacles, it would lead to a better situation later. Yet, all I seem to be getting is more despair, and I don’t think it will change no matter what I do.”
“Life is a struggle,” Radoznaormr stated plainly. “Anyone who claims otherwise is deceiving you.”
“I agree, but what am I even struggling for?” Matt asked, his eyes reflecting a deep sense of loss. “I’ve never been one to care about others, and I’ve just deliberately hurt the first woman I ever loved, in a way that I doubt she will ever forgive. So, I ask you again, what am I living for?”
“Would you prefer it if she were to be killed when another organization conquers your world?”
“That wouldn’t be as bad as what I just did to her,” Matt replied, his voice heavy with regret. “And I doubt the other me is faring much better in getting over her. He just has the advantage of a horde of monsters to kill.”
Radoznaormr fell silent at those words, recognizing the truth in them. This was precisely why he found himself conversing with Matt; the crushing isolation he endured, with nothing to occupy his mind, was potent enough to shatter even the strongest wills. It was also the reason Godfrey Enterprises had assigned Naomi to keep an eye on Matt during his confinement. Yet, that didn’t mean Radoznaormr was pleased by the arrangement or felt equipped to offer any truly helpful guidance.
“Are you really this pathetic?” he muttered under his breath, a hint of disdain lacing his voice.
“Fuck you,” Matt shot back, his tone sharp and defiant.
“I don’t have to engage with you,” Radoznaormr replied, irritation threading through his words. “I could simply leave you to your own devices.”
“And I could just abandon your anchor here while I go on a rampage until they take me down. Who knows, maybe none of them are strong enough to stop me.”
“You really need to learn how to use fate essence to gauge the power of those around you. Honestly, how hard is it to figure out that you can utilize it, along with some of your other essences, to sense the danger that an attack from someone would pose to you?”
“You’re just trying to distract me with training.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Radoznaormr snapped back, exasperation evident in his tone. “You’re making me wish for my own end with all this whining. News flash: no one cares about your problems until you make them their problems.”
“I see, so I should make you and Tempormr everyone’s problem then?” Matt shot back, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Radoznaormr remained silent, withdrawing from the conversation as Matt stowed his anchor back into his spatial storage. A smirk crept across Matt's face, a flicker of satisfaction igniting within him; he was making Radoznaormr regret ever crossing paths with him. Ideally, this meant that Radoznaormr was heading toward the world where he had dispatched Matt, perhaps with the intent to confront him directly. Yet, deep down, Matt felt no fear of Radoznaormr’s potential actions. His still-developing predictive abilities reassured him of that. Radoznaormr needed him for something crucial, and eliminating either of them would only limit the effectiveness of his true copy skill until Radoznaormr met his end.
However, it didn’t mean Matt was free from the heavy burden of self-loathing regarding what he had inflicted upon Rose. Were it not for the continuous influx of memories from the puppets on Earth—shared with the other version of himself—he would likely be spiraling into a much darker place than the facade he projected for Radoznaormr. This act of appearing more broken than he truly felt came easily to him, perhaps because it was healthier than what his other self was experiencing. He shuddered at the thought of the brutal fights his alternate self had forced himself into during moments of blind rage. Even now, the way those memories flooded his mind felt disorienting, creating a jarring disconnect as if he were merely an observer, a passenger in his own life, rather than the one living it. Each recollection sent a tremor through him, a reminder of the chaos that lurked just beneath the surface of his thoughts.
This disconnect was what led Matt to realize he was gradually drifting apart from his other self. While this divergence didn't pose an immediate problem, he was acutely aware that several complications would inevitably arise. They each possessed their own stats, levels, skills, and numerous other attributes, yet they both held the title of leader of Scattered Stars, along with a few other significant ties. If they ever reached a point where they could not agree on a crucial matter—one so severe that it drove them to contemplate killing each other—it would undoubtedly result in a chaotic situation. Matt envisioned it spiraling into an assassination game, where each would send their allies to eliminate the other, knowing full well that neither could simply take the other's life without facing their own demise.
The mere thought of this mess of a future, filled Matt with dread, almost making him wish Radoznaormr would consider killing him instead. At least that would provide a clear escape route from an endless cycle of bloodshed. In truth, Matt was almost certain he would meet his end the moment he returned to Earth, only for the other Matt to pretend to avenge him by killing his murderer, who he had sent, leading to yet another split. It seemed like this would also be the simplest solution to swiftly close the inevitable gap in levels that would exist upon his return. This understanding was the very reason Matt had no intention of going back, a reality he suspected Radoznaormr had anticipated long before forcing him to take on his current mission.
