Chris sobbed as he knelt on the ground, tears he didn’t know he had left pouring down his face as he looked around the new floor. It was a forest, at least of sorts, if you considered the giant mushrooms trees and the mycelium that coated the floor grass and dirt. And where there was a forest, there was always something else.
“FOOD!” Chris screamed happily, rushing towards the nearest patch of mushrooms and reaching for them, his hand stopping barely a centimeter from touching them, “Wait, not these ones, they’re poisonous.”
He darted to the next patch, also pausing, a scowl forming on his face as he glared at the fungus.
“Also poisonous,” he muttered, moving onto the next group, then the next, finding that every patch of the strangely colored fungus he looked at were toxic in some way, “Oh for fucks sake!”
Frustrated, he stormed around the small clearing he found himself in, glaring at every mushroom in anger, willing them to stop being toxic just so he could have something to eat. His gaze swept over a singular small brown mushroom, barely noticeable, until Chris’s brain managed to catch up with the information it was receiving. The man froze, turning to look at the mushroom again, knowing immediately that it was edible, and even had some medicinal properties.
“Food!” he shrieked as he rushed over to the pinky sized fungus, picking it and stuffing it straight into his mouth, chewing the bitter cap and stem and swallowing in satisfaction.
His stomach suddenly growled loudly, making Chris painfully aware that a single small morsel was in no way going to satisfy his massive hunger. Looking around again, he spotted another of the mushrooms a short distance away, which he quickly approached and picked, eating it as well. This continued for several minutes, Chris following the trail of mushrooms through the strange forest, picking and eating each as he went. After a while, he started to feel strangely numb, looking at the latest mushroom for a moment, his brain realizing that it was because of them.
“Medicinal properties, right,” he groaned, “They have an anesthetic effect when eaten raw. If I boil them, they’ll make a basic health potion, and the mushrooms themselves will be entirely edible.”
Sighing, Chris stuffed the mushroom into his bag, wondering how exactly he was supposed to boil them when he didn’t have a pot, water, or way to start a fire. Feeling slightly dejected, Chris continued through the forest, following the trail of mushrooms and picking each one, though they now went into his bag instead of his stomach. After half an hour, he blinked, a familiar sound reaching his ears in the eerie quiet of the fungal forest.
“Is that…?” he gasped, rushing towards the sound, his eyes going wide as he broke through the tree line, staring at the glistening beauty in front of him, “It is! It’s water!”
The stream was small, barely a small trickle of liquid over a rock, but it was water all the same. Chris reached out to cup his hands beneath it, before he stopped again, frustrated by the information washing over his thoughts. He’d just spotted the large mushrooms perched on either side of the rock, long tendrils hanging down into the flow of the water.
“Reaper’s Kiss,” he growled, “Those tendrils produce a powerful neurotoxin that will make anyone who consumes even a gram of it go into immediate brain death. Fuck.”
Chris looked at the slowly dripping water again, his mouth dry, licking his lips as he considered whether brain death was worth just getting a drink, even if it would be his last.
“No,” he barked, “No! Absolutely not! Fuck that!”
Instead, he started following the trickle of water, tracing it back as he made his way through the forest once again.
------
Chris pinched the bridge of his nose as he stared at the source of the water, a mixture of annoyance and confusion filling his mind as the water poured steadily out.
“That’s just a regular garden tap, isn’t it?” he sighed, staring at the obviously concrete pillar it was attached to, several mushrooms growing up the sides, “What the fuck is with this place? You know what, who cares? I found a hopefully reliable source of water!”
Chris quickly knelt in front of the tap, cupping his hands under the flow of water and staring in awe as the liquid gathered in his palms. He lifted his hands to his face, taking a small sip, before his eyes shot open and he let out a satisfied sigh.
“It’s been so long,” he sobbed, “It’s been so long since I’ve had water and food, and now I have both! I never want to leave this floor!”
Chris continued to drink, making sure to take slow sips, stopping when he felt his stomach start to fill. Once again, he wasn’t entirely sure why, but he just knew that drinking a lot of water after being dehydrated for as long as he had would just as likely kill him as any of the toxic mushrooms in this forest.
“Hah,” he sighed in relief as he splashed his face, scrubbing off some of the dirt and grime that had built up on him, “It’s so nice to have water again! Even if it’s from a weird tap in the middle of a Dungeon! Oh! I have water now! That means I can cook!”
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Chris quickly set about finding a suitable place to cook, clearing a small patch of mycelium to expose the stone floor beneath. Once he was sure his fire wouldn’t spread, he set about gathering some mushrooms he’d noticed before, grinning as he stacked them in a pile.
“Beggar’s Grace,” he hummed as he prepared the fire, “It’s toxic to eat, but burns well and for a long time. Perfect for a campfire!”
Chris blinked as he looked at the pile of fungus, his expression going blank for a moment, before he let out a shout.
“I don’t have a lighter or matches!”
Flopping to the ground, Chris groaned as his plans were foiled once again, looking up at the dense canopy of mushrooms above him, their soft glow filling the air with a gloomy light.
“Shit, and it’s not like I know how to start a fire any other way,” he sighed, looking around, “I mean, I know about hitting steel with flint to make sparks, but it’s not like I even have any of that, do I?”
Letting out another sigh, he pulled a mushroom from his bag, popping it into his mouth and chewing, the slight numbness making him feel strangely better as he sat beside the running tap. Where was he going to find a source of fire in this place? It wasn’t like he could just go exploring and hope to find a mushroom that spat fire, right? Sighing, he placed his hand on his Carry-All-Bag, checking its contents. A long stream of information appeared in his mind, listing everything in the satchel, from the mushrooms to his spare Slime Pouches, various types of arrows and iron weapons.
“Wait…” Chris blinked, looking down at the bag, “What kind of arrows do I have?”
A quick check sent a rush of excitement through him, the man quickly reaching into the bag and pulling out an arrow tipped with a dark stone.
“I don’t believe it!” he laughed excitedly, looking at the stone on the tip, fashioned into a simple arrowhead, a piece of cloth soaked in resin just below it, “Sparkstone Arrows! I can light my fire with these! Where did I get them though?”
Thinking back, Chris vaguely remembered some of the Skeletons he’d killed in the previous floors using bows. He hadn’t really given them enough time to use them properly, though, having been more interested in clearing out the monsters so he could get to the next floor. Shaking his head, he dragged the Sparkstone arrowhead against the stone floor, the friction immediately causing the fabric and resin to ignite. Excitedly, Chris held the flames up against the Beggar’s Grace, the fungus catching quickly and starting to burn.
“Fire achieved!” he cheered, checking his supply of Sparkstone Arrows, “Though I only have seven more, so I’ll have to ration them carefully. Now, I just need to boil the mushrooms in a pot and…and I don’t have a pot, do I?”
A quick search of his bag revealed that he did not, in fact, have a pot, but an old iron helmet would suffice. Chris made sure to wash it out thoroughly under the water from the tap, scrubbing the dirt and rust away as best he could with some of the spare clothing he had. Satisfied that he wasn’t about to get metal poisoning or something, he filled the helmet with water and set it down beside the fire, watching excitedly as it slowly started to boil. Several minutes later, the smell of boiling mushrooms filled the air, the rich earthy scent making Chris’s stomach groan in hunger.
“Shut up,” Chris huffed, “You’ll get your food soon, but I have to boil these mushrooms for at least ten minutes to get all the numbing agent out. Then I’ll need to let them dry a bit before I can eat them.”
His stomach growled again, Chris growling back as he stood up, walking over to the tap.
“Whatever, while that’s going, I should see about carrying some water with me,” he hummed, reaching into his bag and pulling out the seven Slime Pouches he had, “These are supposed to be waterproof from the outside, so then they should be from the inside as well. I’m so smart!”
Grinning like a child, Chris quickly filled the first of the pouches, tying the top tightly shut with the length of cord attached to it. It wasn’t a perfect seal, but he was pretty certain it wouldn’t spill in his Carry-All-Bag regardless. He quickly filled up the rest of the pouches, grinning to himself the entire time as he placed them back in his satchel. Spare water now secured, Chris went back to check on the mushrooms, amazed to see that they had lost all their brown colour, turning a pale, ghostly white. Shrugging, he scooped them out with an old dagger, which he’d already cleaned in the water, laying the hot mushrooms on a Slime Shirt he'd also washed to dry.
“And now we wait,” Chris hummed, looking at the mushrooms hungrily, “Soon, my pretties, soon you will be filling my empty belly after so long!”
Chris hummed happily to himself, blinking as he noticed that the water was still boiling in the makeshift pot. Intrigued, he looked at it, quickly realizing what it was.
“A very basic kind of Health Potion,” he nodded, “Well, basic in that it mostly just numbs the pain of wounds instead of actually healing anything, but it’s better than nothing, I suppose. Actually, now that I think about it, do I have any actual potions?”
Checking his bag, Chris sighed as he shook his head.
“Not even an empty bottle,” he muttered, “I mean, where would I have even gotten one anyway?”
An image flashed through his mind, remembering the strange bottles of liquid that had been sitting on the table behind the Lich. He’d ignored them because he’d just wanted to get to the next floor and find some food, but now he was cursing himself for doing something so stupid.
“Oh well, live and learn,” he chuckled to himself after a moment, “Guess I’ll just have to dump this out for now. Bit of a waste, but it’s all I can do. But first, let’s have some dinner!”
Chris grabbed one of the cooled mushrooms, biting into it and moaning in pleasure. Even if it had lost all its color, it still had the same earthy flavor as before. He devoured the mushrooms in minutes, lying back on the soft mycelium as he stared up at the mushroom canopy above him. Soon, he was fast asleep.
------
Chris stared at the large metal door, the golden chest in front of it.
“Seriously?” he asked, looking around for the Floor Boss, “That’s it? No fight? Just loot and the exit?”
Shaking his head, he walked up the short flight of stairs that separated the door and chest from the rest of the forest, the mycelium seeming to not dare even grow on the pure white stone. Reaching the top, he tapped the chest, which popped open with no real fan faire, making Chris scowl for some reason. Shaking his head, he just looked inside, his expression turning even more sour as he grabbed the two items inside. One was a camping cook set, complete with magical heating element and several pots, pans and utensils, and the other was a shield shaped like a mushroom cap. He stuffed both into his bag, stalking towards the door before kicking it.
“Bastard Dungeon,” he muttered, watching as the door swung open silently, once again revealing the darkness beyond, “The next floor had better be worth it.”
