The receptionist glanced up at me, then turned her eyes back to the paperwork once more. “Your name is… Count Boogula?”, she questioned. I nodded. She set down the clipboard, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. “Are you actually a Count? Can a ghost even BE a Count when they can’t own property in the first place?”.
“Every vampire, ghost, and undead apparition is formally recognized as a ‘Count’ after graduating from an official university of horrors”, I patiently explained. “It’s just like the title of ‘Doctor’ among you living folk”. The receptionist raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I am also the 213-year reigning King of Scares”, I hurriedly added, “so if anything, titling myself as merely a ‘Count’ is modest”.
“I… see”, the receptionist clearly failed to see. “And what made you decide to take up adventuring, Mr… Boogula?”.
I raised my head proudly, ignoring the clear insult to my title. “I want to see the world. I’ve met and terrified all kinds of people at my last job, but staying cooped up in a haunted house does get a bit old. Like take a look at this place! No roof leaks, drafts, cobwebs, or dust! I knew human dwellings were immaculately maintained, but I didn’t think they’d be THIS well polished! Not even an ominous stain in sight, just regular stains!”.
The receptionist surveyed the tavern and the debauchery within, unable to muster a response. “...Well, um, here is your ring, Mr… Count… Boogula?”. I nodded happily. Then I frowned.
“...I’m sorry, but can this ring turn invisible? Or intangible? I’m afraid I’ll lose track of it if I try to use my abilities…”.
“Oh, no worries!”, the receptionist clapped her hands. “There are a rare few human adventurers with abilities like that. The rings are specially enchanted so they don’t interfere with any spells or techniques you may wish to use”.
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“Oh, perfect!”. Lacking any fingers, I slid the ring onto my ghostly tail. “Now then, are there any promising quests in need of my special ghostly talents?”.
The receptionist smiled. “To start with, there’s a pack of slimes harassing people out on the trail through the forest. Nobody else wanted… ahem, this is a unique chance to distinguish yourself, as an up-and-coming F-ranked adventurer!”.
“I… see. Beware, slimes! For the moment I became an F-ranked adventurer, your fate was sealed…”, I turned invisible and quickly ran behind the receptionist. “You shall know terror like no other… Fear will freeze your soul!”, I hurried away again, phasing into a beer keg. “And when you beg for the sweet release of death… know that only the dark clutches of Count Boogula await you… AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!”.
“Your fate… is sealed…”, I panted, floating in front of a slime that stared dumbly at me. This… this couldn’t be! My most powerful techniques failed to even faze this creature! Why, this was no F-ranked monster, it was a demon! An aberration of unparalleled mental fortitude that revelled in unspeakable bloodshed and depravity!
I shivered as I realized… it must be toying with me! My visions of fear and evil were nothing but naive compared to the depths of hell this creature had seen! Any moment now, it would torment me with arts far darker than I could even imagine. I may be the King of Scares, but before this abyssal nightmare, I was a mere hack! That guild receptionist set me up! No wonder I was the only one to take this job! For who could defeat this spawn of Satan? Who?!
Pop! I screamed and phased through the ground as the slime exploded, hoping that my ghostly powers would buy me a few seconds at least. Against my better judgement, I cautiously poked my head above ground, and saw an adventurer with a sword. They stabbed another slime, popping it like a soap bubble. I gasped. Who was this adventurer?!
