Varis frowned. Wasn’t that her name? I tried to think of what she said her name was, but it was hard to hold onto everything that happened before I got into this med tube.

  I wondered if something had happened that was making the recent past so hazy for yours truly. Did I take a head injury and I didn’t remember it? Though if I did take a head injury then not remembering it seemed like it followed.

  “I can assure you we’re not holding you in a stasis field to punish you or torture you,” she said.

  “And why should I believe anything from an honorless dung worm such as yourself?”

  Every livisk in the room turned and stared. No doubt wondering how their general would react to that insult.

  At least I was pretty sure it was an insult. I was foggy on the intricacies of their spoken language since I didn’t have a chance to speak it in person all that often. For all that the swears were the first thing everybody learned in their Livisk language classes at the Academy.

  Still, I’d allow it was entirely possible I’d just called her a barber or a tree depending on the inflection. Though from her reaction? I was pretty sure I was right on.

  I spent a lot of time trying to perfect their insults. Just in case.

  That was time that probably would’ve been better spent learning their pictographic written language, but in this moment? As everyone stared? No doubt wondering if I was about to be vaporized? All that work on insults seemed well worth it.

  Only she didn’t react the way I’d hoped.

  She didn’t kill me instantly like I would’ve expected from a high ranking livisk. I wasn’t stoked at the idea of being killed, but I also wasn’t stoked at the idea of being taken captive and working in one of their reclamation mines. Plus I figured there was the added bonus that she’d go insane shortly after killing me.

  Two birds with one stone. At least if the stories were to be believed.

  Instead she chuckled and shook her head. I frowned as I looked at her. The rank patterns across her shoulders didn’t look quite as intricate as the last time we met.

  Maybe I wasn’t the only one to come down a few pegs in the universe since that meeting. Perhaps we’d been the architects of one another’s demise.

  That was a pleasant thought. About the only pleasant thought I had going for me considering how fucked up everything else was right now.

  “I could release the field,” she said, responding to me in Earth Standard. I guess I wasn’t the only one who was showing off language skills today. “My medical personnel have assured me, however, that this would be a very bad idea considering the extent of the injuries you sustained in the… attack. I managed to rescue you before those injuries went from grave to putting you in the grave.”

  I stared at her. That sounded almost like she was trying to make a joke. Only she didn’t look like the kind of person who made jokes. The moment eventually grew uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry. I thought I was making a clever pun in your language. Was I wrong?” she asked, suddenly looking a touch awkward and not at all the commanding alien general who’d reduced my picket ship to floating scrap on the edge of the Sol system.

  Talk about a kick in the nuts. Though someone in the admiralty would get their own nuts on the chopping block for losing a ship. Once it became clear the distress calls we sent out were the real deal and not somebody’s idea of a bad joke because they’d finally lost it cataloging ice and rocks out in the middle of nowhere.

  That was another bright and shining happy thought I was holding onto in the middle of all this fuckery.

  “That was a pun, but it was terrible,” I said. “I mean like in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way, but still terrible.”

  “I understand humans enjoy things that are so bad they’re good,” the general said.

  “Depends on your audience,” I said. “Also, am I supposed to thank you for saving my life? You’re the one who blasted my ship and caused all that damage in the first place!”

  “And you’re the reason I was out at the edge of your home system trying to reclaim some of my lost honor in the first place, human,” she snarled, some of the heat I’d expect from a livisk general finally coming through.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  I would’ve recoiled in fear at that snarl, only there was the whole incapacitated by strange alien technology thing. That made it difficult to do much of anything.

  Which was good. I didn’t want to show weakness in front of the scary sexy alien. That would be bad.

  “Well I’m glad you were able to reclaim some of your lost honor. Must’ve been pretty difficult for you to do much of anything after I handed you your sparkly blue ass in single combat,” I said.

  The other livisk in the room were still staring from the first insult. Several stepped forward at the new one. Like they were going to avenge their general’s honor.

  I guess my Livisk was good enough to get that point across. Luckily for me, considering I was still completely incapacitated from the neck down and apparently gravely injured, the general held her hand up to stop them. She also puffed up as she moved in close, and I was glad for this weird forcefield surrounding my body.

  Otherwise it’d be pretty damn obvious the sort of reaction I was having to her being so close to me. Not to mention puffing up her chest naturally drew my attention to that chest.

  It was a chest that was worth paying attention to.

  “I am General Varis t’Thal of the Livisk Ascendancy. Sister by marriage to the empress. Sister to a slain brother. I will not have you speak to me so in front of my warriors.”

  “Get used to disappointment, tall, blue, and sparkly,” I said.

  Her eyes narrowed. “You confuse me. Was that supposed to be an insult, or a description? The way you use our language is imprecise when you aren’t swearing.”

  “Allow me to be more precise, then,” I said. “It was certainly meant as an insult. Not a very good one, I’ll admit, but you’re not exactly catching me at my best. You probably know that since you got your hot ass handed to you the last time you did catch me at my best.”

  I figured that would be it. I also still figured death would be preferable to what no doubt awaited me on the livisk homeworld.

  I’d heard stories of what they did to humans, and none of it was pretty. Though I could think of some interesting things that might happen if she ended up making me her personal slave as a result of this whole mental bond thing.

  It was all thanks to that common ancestor we had from so long ago. It turns out Star Trek was totally right about bipedal great apes with forehead ridges being a thing out in the wider galaxy, and centuries of people bitching about how unrealistic that was on the Internet were wrong.

  Who knew?

  All I’d ever cared about vis a vis the livisk was figuring out how to blow them up real good.

  At least until I met this one. She chuckled again and shook her head in a very human gesture. She moved in so close I felt her hot breath against my cheek. It was about the only thing I could feel since all my senses had been taken away below my neck.

  That was annoying and sending all sorts of alarm bells ringing in my brain which was sure I’d been beheaded yet was somehow still alive.

  Turns out the whole thing about still being alive for a few seconds after being beheaded was totally true. They figured that one out when some sick bastard got the idea of attaching an EEG to people who were getting the guillotine treatment during the closing acts of the Third American Civil War.

  “Do you want me to free you, human?” Varis asked. “You have spirit. I’ll give you that. Then again, I sensed that the first time we met one another in combat. Which is why we’re even here in the first place.”

  “I bet you did,” I said. “Now please, let me out of here. We can have round three. See who comes out on top this time around.”

  Honestly? I wouldn’t have minded who came out on top as long as one of us was on top. Not that I thought she was likely to come on top of me in the way I was thinking.

  Okay then. Apparently my body couldn’t move, but there was one piece of my anatomy down there that was making itself known. Which was going to make this really awkward if she pulled me out of this thing.

  General Varis held a hand up and made a quick gesture. A science type who still looked more ripped than the most muscle headed crayon eater only hesitated a moment before tapping a panel. The light covering my body winked out in an instant.

  There was a moment where I enjoyed the return of feeling to my whole body. I didn’t enjoy it for long, though. No, my body was hit with the most intense pain I’d ever endured. I cried out as I took a step and collapsed forward.

  I had no other choice. My brain was sending out signals, but the rest of my body wasn’t listening. And still there was that one part of my anatomy that was saying the outfit this Varis lady wore was definitely worth paying attention to as I collapsed to the ground.

  It’s nice to know my body had its priorities in order when it came to the fight, flight, or fuck response.

  I guess she hadn’t been lying when she said that light was fixing me up. I landed on the deck with a grunt as the wind was knocked out of me. Pain flared in parts of my body I didn’t even know could feel that much pain.

  I gritted my teeth and avoided crying out in pain. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. She was the enemy. I’d busted her once, and I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of showing weakness.

  Even if I did want to curl into the fetal position and cry. Not that I thought I could curl into the fetal position without potentially rebreaking several bones that were being fixed up when that glowy stuff disappeared.

  “What did you do to me?” I hissed, still trying not to let the pain show. I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I was focusing everything I could on not crying out in pain.

  Varis got down on her knees. She looked me with fire in her eyes. “I’m afraid we did nothing to you, though you might wish to have a word with the people who designed your command center to blow up at the first hint of an attack.”

  I had to give her that. The CIC was way more susceptible to exploding than seemed proper for a warship.

  “I already explained this to you. You were injured extensively in the fight, and that field was the only thing keeping you from feeling pain. All you have to do is admit you’ve been bested. Do that and I can make the pain go away, human.”

  I looked up at her, a fire raging within me. Shatner’s fucking toupee would I tell her she’d bested me!