“Blarg. Not great, but I’ve been keeping busy to stop thinking about it. I heard you might have work for me to look into before next Founders’.” I turn back to a sheet that I prepared for the Atropos brewery I just set up.
“I figured that enough happened to you that day that I wouldn’t mention I wanted to get you onboard immediately. Zia told me that you got,” she snorts in amusement, “bought out for your Deputy position? How have you hidden your wealth so well?”
“I’ve only recently been absurdly wealthy, Penny. Before the potion auction, I’ve had all my money tied up in the next project. Not hard to pretend when you can’t access any of it.”
“You could have asked me for a loan if you were struggling, you know?”
It’s my turn to snort this time. “I love you, Penny. But how is it struggling when I tap the 2 mil you handed me and have to survive on a mere thousand credits. Woe, woe be the plight of the rich. That said, if you want to help you could always answer my messages.”
An ungodly, burdened groan erupts from my future mother-in-law. “Just ask, asshole, I hate going through my messages.”
“And I hate that the Matrix punishes people like us and won’t update my stats without checking them.”
“Hey, hey, don’t get their attention. Game that shit. Take the gift for what it is. Anyway, how’d you and the freighter crew get along?”
Does she already know? Like how is she so good at finding people I vibe with? “Nikki’s cool. She tried to posture at first, but it was nerves apparently. Everyone on that crew was nervous as hell, especially that pilot. Where’d you find that caffeine riddled squirrel of a human?”
“Kimber, that’s David’s kid. He needs real experience, but he’s a pilot-training ace.”
My mind blanks everything but the idea that Penny put a pilot that still has his factory stickers on, as the primary pilot for my shipping company. “I don’t know why I trust you, but if you say a green-ass noob of a friend is going to a good job, I believe you. Maybe you put something in my g-berry juice.”
“If you recall, I bet quite a lot on a ‘noob-ass’ alchemist that had a penchant for dealing drugs.” She looks right at the camera and flips me off. Fucking pixies.
“Yeah, yeah. I owe you, you’re one of my best friends, blah blah feelings. Side-stepping to important business, what are the Justicar uniforms going to look like?” The Empress of humanity is a pretty woman, but when she smiles her full-teeth smile, that mug is nightmare fuel.
“I’m hung up on a suit like mine or one like yours but in cream and gold.”
“My vote is mine, clearly. But it should at least be distinct from the military uniform to show different branches of the government.” I turn to her hologram and wait for her reply.
“Mm, I bet my Councilors would agree with you. It will still be cream and gold. I want to set an image that your judgements and your motives are pristine. I’ll send you some outfits for Zia to vote on.”
“That seems a sensible direction. Zia is much more reasonable than either of us.”
***
After six weeks of cleaning up my backlog, per my lovely fiancée’s suggestion, and vetting the help that my assistant interviewed, I’m finally in a place where I don’t have my fingers and toes tied to strings like a puppeteer. Patience is still a little overwhelmed, which she tells me constantly as my house-mate. I asked her if she wanted to move out, to which she said ‘and miss the garden and the hot tub? Hell no.’ I respect that position and I like having someone around ever since my time in the Orphanage.
Though I could work from my Condo, I sit at my desk in the Municipal Building with my feet on a drawer reading on a projected menu so it doesn’t look like I’m drooling on myself. Patience still works from my fucking couch, despite having her own office. Maybe this week I’ll actually turn it into an after-hours bar.
Another suggestion from Zia was to delve into the Herrati file that the Foreign Affairs Councilor has on them in preparation for my Justicar job. My last convo with Penny held that as a done deal, as she is making uniforms after Zia modified the cream and gold to have a bit of Astorian pink-purple. I’ll admit, it looks stylish and I think the outfit needed a color-break from all of that cream.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“Let’s see, we’ll skip the bio parts, as I’ve met a Herrati Engineer. History and Behavior.” I nod to myself, and start reading like it is homework and Penny will test me on it. I doubt she will, but the cat people will when I must meet with them and adjudicate for them. Gods, what do I do when one of them fucking protests? Giant tiger man versus beefy justice bitch? How do I curse Penny when I usually use her title to do it? Empress curse that Trixie Pixie?
Penny chuckles in my head, letting me know she heard me. I still think it’s wild that this, believe in a person hard enough they get minor deity traits, is a thing but I’ve literally experienced it. Though I wonder, since I have divine aether, a superset of light aether, does that mean my pixie Empress is my Patron? Experiment time? Fuck yeah.
“Patience, I’m going into the vault to do something stupid, and possibly dangerous.”
“Can I have your things if you die?”
I snort and scoff, “Hell no. my fiancée gets that. You get a small operation budget to manage and a bonus.”
“Ugh, then try not to die boss, my pay would suffer and I like our Condo.” I flip my assistant off as I leave my office. I hear her laugh as I shut the door. Again, I somehow have the best people working for me.
The short walk to my elevator at HQ is short and soon I find myself in my secure lab with fire suppression—A key component for an Alchemist and experimental magic.
“Aria, Tova, I want cameras and a high-speed of this if we can. If it blows up in my face I want to know why.”
“Copy, Kimber, but what are you attempting?” Aria asks in her much improved house voice.
“Divine imbuement. I can do regular aether imbuement, but with an actual patron, I should be able to divine imbue? It would be a great leap as divine aether allows for more intention than generic aether.”
“Copy, I assume the record word is ‘Empress’?” I nod at Aria’s supposition.
Invoking a deity that was elevated via Apotheosis is a risky endeavor. The variables are poorly documented.
I understand, Tova. We will help with that documentation. I pull out my modified .38 special and put my left hand over the whole thing.
“I beseech the Empress and her Divine right of Conquest, to empower my tools to smite my enemies.” A golden shield builds around my hovering palm and then light, golden in hue with speckles of black pulse through the small room as each wave makes me more tired than the last. By the final pulse I can barely keep upright on my knees and the grip of my semi-auto pistol is too hot to hold. I hiss as I drop the damned thing and fall over from exhaustion. I’d been at this for a while, and it seems as though my devotions to the Empress have done . . . something. I’ll have to investigate once I regain consciousness. I black out immediately.
***
“Kimber, if you do not respond, I will enact emergency protocol and let foreign people into your lab.”
“The fuck you will!” I respond immediately, pulling myself from some floating mental purgatory. “What happened?”
“From what Tova and I have pieced together, you overdrew your aether and it forced you into a protective state.” Despite me responding, Aria and Tova maintain a red alert in my lab. I look around for errant gasses or flaming substances, but all I see is my pistol radiating . . . fine, the protective measures were probably a good idea. I take a closer look at my formerly favorite weapon.
//Query: Divine Damage.
//Answer: Divine aspected aether is a combination of light or dark aether merged with significant willpower and belief. Due to the personal element of this power, behavior of Divine aspected aether varies widely. Divine imbued or enchanted weapons are rare and can be similarly unpredictable.
Am I being trolled? My prayer ended with bringing a blessing of slaughter into the world? Fuck. But what was I expecting? I picked a weapon, did I expect a divine gun to spray blessings like a water gun? I suppose I should be grateful that it still exists and that Penny isn’t showing up to give me an earful.
\Did you just channel a lot of aether?\ Penny asks me.
/Yes. I was testing. Since I have divine aether and the only person that could possibly be my patron is you, I decided to channel your divinity./
\It felt like a thousand ghost hands were trying to pluck my wings off. I hope you made something cool, but please don’t do that again.\
/Holy relic pistol. Seems pretty cool. Sorry Penny, I had no idea./
No, but you do have a message from her though. Let me paraphrase ‘Don’t start or join a church to me, you idiot’ and ‘I hope drawing away my aether teaches you a fucking lesson, twerp.’
I laugh at that. I’m not devout in worship, even in the slightest, but I know what I honor and respect. If Marcella was my personal saint, then Penny is undoubtedly the deity that has enabled me to do the same for thousands of people—mostly for the hundred or so orphans. The fact that she’s Empress has something to do with it, but the strength she wields for her people and the dedication she shows toward them is what gives me hope and holds my belief. Which is why I curse her when things aren’t better for people and praise her for the gifts that she has given me. She has quite literally been my patron, and since I don’t actively engage with other deities, minor or otherwise, the Andromeda Matrix seems to have assigned her as my patron deity. For some reason Penny seems to take it personally. Fucking Empress problems, amiright? From my heart to my head, her enemies dead. May the Calamity favor you. Amen.
\I’m surprised you didn’t swear in there. And stop praying to me. It’s fucking weird.\
/If I had said ‘May the Calamity favor you and also fuck you’ the connotation would be a bit ‘dommy mommy’ for my taste./
\Eww, stop it. You’re about to be my actual daughter. That said, I have an unexpected break so get your ass to Astoria so I can stab you in the back a million times.\
/Bleh, alright. Let me call people. I should be able to make it there early tomorrow./ I hear a positive chirp in our connection before it goes silent.
It’s decidedly inconvenient that she can hear my thoughts.