How that worked, I’d probably look into later.
Eventually.
Later was this magical time when I’d do a lot of things that lingered in the back of my mind, think on all I’ve achieved and experienced, and read up on all my updates. Magical indeed.
As for now: monster killing time. To get out of the barrier, all I had to do was walk out. To come back in would take some effort. But I wasn’t planning on coming back until every last monster out there was dead. Because fuck it, I wanted a bit of fun out of this whole mess, and this seemed my last chance for a while.
Away from the village I’d be up against animals again, at least until I ran into some other dungeon with issues. Forest animals and monsters are actually fucking terrifying. A shiver jolted my back as I remembered that sleeping beast out in the forest, and how much danger I felt radiating off it.
I pondered this divide—monster versus artefacts—as I stood at the edge of the protective barrier, its waves of power swirling in the air. I could feel them crashing against my skin.
At least a dozen headcrabs. Several spiders. Five furnar deviants, all of the gatherer variety—one I hadn’t seen among the actual furnars.
All in all, shitty odds. Not insurmountable by any stretch, just shitty.
Methol was still fiddling with her puzzle thingy. Eternity and Ever were having one of their silent conversations.
And me… I was itching to dive into the fight. But Eternity’s ribbing still stung and I wasn’t going to prove the bloody thing right. Plus, I wanted to have some fun with this moment.
Fighting animals is terrifying. They’re unpredictable. Dangerous. Clever. And possibly heartbreaking. Fighting real, living things wasn’t on my list of fun things to do just yet.
But with glitch artefacts? They were fun. Once passed the terror of getting my guts ripped out and strewn across the fields like Christmas garlands, the thrill of the fight was heady and intoxicating. If I were honest to myself, I would’ve worried over the idea of finding fighting fun in any capacity.
The dark box of “I’ll think about this never” had plenty room for lingering doubts.
What I really needed just then was music. Felt like a moment that needed some background score to really sell how epically I was about to thrash these things. Part of me just groaned inward at the cheese. Most of me riffled through old songs for one that would fit the moment.
A grin spread across my face as I drew in the sight properly, then closed my eyes and allowed my mind to open and wander. It took some practice and I didn’t quite have the hang of completely letting go, but I was getting better at it.
My brain jukebox finally settled on an old favourite that often served me well when dealing with stubborn projects. Not Nightwish. Theirs weren’t the kind of songs that fit battles well.
Here our soldiers stand. From all around the world. Joey DeMaio’s voice rang out in my head, accompanied by Manowar’s unique instrumentals. Yeah, that’d do it.
I stepped forward, felt the barrier part around me, smelled the familiar stench of corruption rot, and immediately ducked, the reaction driven entirely by instinct. A headcrab smashed in the barrier above my head, legs scrabbling against the invisible wall.
My heart thumped steadily. My skin prickled with the sense of danger. I had a mental finger on my combo of [IRON FLESH] and [ADRENALINE SURGE], but wanted to hold off on them until the last possible moment.
For now, I let the imaginary music and my danger sense skill carry me forward, with eyes opened—I wasn’t quite insane enough to imagine I’d take on all those monsters with my eyes closed. I felt invincible in my boxers and boots and grinned as I stepped into the fight proper.
A swing of the shield knocked another headcrab from the air, sending it crashing into a spider in a tangle of scything limbs and screeching metal. The spider finished the creature for me.
Like all worst-laid plans, it only took a moment for things to devolve into full-blown chaos. The furnars rushed me and smashed straight through the spiders. The spiders grappled with the leaping headcrabs and tripped up the furnars.
For once I found myself not in the middle of the clusterfuck, but all too eager to take advantage of it. I waded in with the sword, just as I’d said, whacking at the spiders first and foremost.
First goal: get the spiders out of the way. Their razor silk was a real danger that I just didn’t want to deal with.
A flash of power through the sword and two spiders sizzled to death, chopped into quarters. Ichor puffed to acrid steam, and the heat nearly seared my ribs as well as the enemy. I’d really need to learn how to control the intensity of the effect.
Now wasn’t really the time. I spun and swept the blade in an arc. Two headcrabs burned to ashes, and a third lost two legs in a flurry of sparks and leaping fire.
I cut the power and the flame went out with an afterimage of raging fire that only staggered myself. There’s something to be said about fighting with a wall at your back, and it’s about how that brings out the dog in you. Even in the kerfuffle, my enemies were still many and they were gaining back their balance faster than I could gain back MP.
The grin stayed plastered to my face. Two spiders and three headcrabs lay dead. I’d gained myself some space, not much but enough that I could actually practice more deliberately.
I raised the shield, leaned back enough that I felt the pressure of the barrier between my shoulder blades, then waited.
[SHIELD BASH]
[A brutal off-hand blow that turns defence into dominance: slam your shield into your enemy to push them back, interrupt their attack, and leave them stunned]
[An enemy’s assault becomes their fatal mistake]
[“Feed them their teeth!” - Alassan the Fell Hand]
The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Who the fuck was Alassan and why was he showing up in my skill descriptions?! Made a note to check later.
With the shield’s enchantment I could easily end a lot of my enemies with a powerful enough blow. But I didn’t need that yet. Instead, I focused on simple defence. Fighting in just a pair of shorts was doing a lot to keep my mind focused on my enemies. A blow past my defence would spell pain. If it went low enough… I shuddered at the thought.
I turned aside several wild slashes, each time feeling a jolt of satisfaction when claws or fists raked across my shield. My shoulder burned with the effort and my teeth clattered with each impact, but I held.
[Congratulations]
[You have trained: Perfect Guard - INITIATE]
[PERFECT GUARD]
[Look at you, hiding behind a shield like the smart little coward you are]
[Because nothing ruins the satisfaction of a perfectly timed deathblow like a perfectly timed shield block]
[Defend your vitals and deny your enemy their satisfaction all at once, improving block timing and stability]
[“Fuck you, your sword, and the smith that sharpened it!” - Alassan the Fell Hand]
Again this guy, but at least he sounded a man after my very own heart.
I’d been using the shield mainly as a battering ram down in the mine. Effective, yes, but hardly the best way of using a shield unless I gained like two hundred more kilograms of pure muscle to stack behind a blow. I wouldn’t always have the advantage in weight, or the room to build momentum. Ramming something like a bear didn’t seem like it would end well for me.
While my main goal here was to try and get the [PARRY] skill past its initiate stage, getting this newest one was still an excellent boon.
I turned the fight into a defensive brawl, focusing on blocking and turning aside. With the glitches all crowding one another, predicting blows wasn’t the simplest thing, but their chaos worked to my advantage.
There was no doubt that something fundamental had changed in me. I got winded quicker. My muscles burned with the effort and I struggled for breath after just a few minutes of the onslaught.
I forced myself to hold my ground; not just to deflect, but to remain planted on the spot, unmovable and unbreakable. If I allowed myself to be pushed back, I would pass through the barrier back to safety, and I didn’t want that. Having safety right at my back felt like cheating and like I didn’t push myself as hard as I could. Or like I didn’t need to push myself to the very limit.
Or on my limit’s edge was where I’d found the [SECOND WIND] skill. Anything less than was just not going to cut it.
Which… fucking mad?! I was safe and didn’t like it. If not busy with deflecting leaping headcrabs and grasping furnar gatherers, I probably would’ve marvelled at that creeping insanity.
Because I had to be going nuts when I took a step forward. I swung the shield, hard, and sent a headcrab sparking against the barrier. It unravelled in the air, entrails spilling out of the cut the thorns carved into it.
Then another step and a swing of the sword with an ignition flash. The flame burst to life in the second before impact. It died off in the very next heartbeat, taking with it two of a gatherer’s arms. One of its friends surged forward, smashing aside the wounded one, swinging for my head.
Shield up. Deflect. Chrome fists sparking against the shield. The creature toppled forward. I felt a ping from the [PARRY] skill. Stayed my sword. Waited a heartbeat. Swung and the furnar’s head came clean off in a single blow.
A thrill of right refreshed my spirit and I advanced another step, all too aware that my back and ass were bare and the shield could only protect so much. My skin prickled and the hairs on my nape stood on end, part excitement, part terror.
By now there were too many enemies crowding me, far too many to handle safely. They circled and swarmed around me, nipped at my heels, dipped in and out of my blind spots. Only wide sweeps of the sword kept them at bay. A dip into the surge would help me clear the mass, but I had to remind myself that wouldn’t help.
I had not gone up a single usable level for all the skills I generally used. Something was right about how I used the shield, but it wasn’t growing past that initial unlock. Why? Wasn’t I in enough danger? Or wasn’t I applying myself sufficiently?
Maddeningly, I felt like I hovered on the edge of understanding, but couldn’t figure where to go next.
Every blow I deflected did bring with it that satisfying little tingle that announced I was making use of the skill. I knew how to hold the shield. I knew how to brace against a blow. I listened to my skill instinct and allowed it to guide my dodges and my reactions. Everything worked, but progress was stalled.
One skill trained. One upgraded. How to get more? My enemies were growing fewer.
At this pace, the whole mob would self-destruct against the thorns before I grew in more usable ways. Apparently, using the enchantment didn’t actually gain me anything and was just cutting my training time short.
“Fuck,” I groaned as I slammed the shield into a furnar’s face, sending it reeling, half its head blown off. It didn’t stop it dead, fortunately, but I also missed the chance to follow up with the sword.
Given all this, I finally discarded the shield—slammed it down edge first on a headcrab and left it there—and activated [IRON FLESH], aimed it at my back, and kept on fighting.
“Blood for the Blood God,” I chanted, grinning madly. If I wasn’t going to get more out of my skills safely, then I’d sure as fuck bleed for them.
New goal: parry every blow coming my way, and use the momentum that gave me for a killing blow. The vague idea of a new skill was there, buried in my mind, and I felt this was the exact way to get at it. If I had the time—which I didn’t, because I’d put myself in this ridiculous situation—I maybe would’ve checked for a hint in there. The thought came too late, just in time with the last spider making a grab for me.
I hastily cleared my mind, ignored the sudden stab of shallow pain across my back, and swung with all my strength. The sword caught the spider across its mouth-piece. Sent it aside staggering. The [PARRY] skill resonated with that, but demanded more. I poured MP into Melenith’s rune and swung again, aiming for the killing blow.
A furnar’s fist caught me square in the ribs and set me stumbling sideways, all air knocked out of me, sword on fire, MP plummeting.
“Fuck!” I snarled and tried not to trip over my own feet.
I swung blindly and caught a headcrab on its leap, sending it down in burning chunks. No! Not what I wanted to do and another enemy was already dead, my pool shrinking by the moment. The flames guttered out with a delayed mental command, my MP already down to half.
“You fuckers are going to mess up everything.” I spun in place and kicked out at the nearest furnar. Stupid move. It outweighed me handily and I found myself flung back by my own stupidity, again trying not to stumble.
There really should be a skill for the splits. I say this because I slipped on mud and, yes, ended up doing a painful split, my ass in a puddle, my joints screaming in agony. I barely had air in me to wheeze out in agony.
Had I the time to curse or scream, I would’ve. As it stood, I scrambled to roll and dodge a stomp from the same furnar. With actual fucking grace—none at all—I managed to roll back to my feet and mercifully do what I wanted to do.
I parried the next blow, blade against fist, and managed to bring myself right under the furnar’s arm. That little jolt in the back of my head had me timing the moment. One heartbeat. My shoulder almost colliding with the furnar. A second heartbeat. Then I brought the blade up, red fire flashing, and cut straight from under the furnar’s arm, up through its chest cavity, and out through its shoulder.
Perfectly executed.
Black, hot, sticky gore splashed me head to toe. I didn’t care.
Instead, I whirled and met the spider again. Predictably, it flashed at me, its speed lightning fast. Before, I would’ve taken the bait and activated [ADRENALINE SURGE]. Now, I listened to the [PARRY] skill and swung the very moment I felt it right to do so. This time the spider didn’t so much flinch as get carved apart, exploding at the joints.
Almost there. I can feel it.
A new skill was forming. Not like the other ones, where I’d do something random and get a reward if it happened to be the right call. This was an evolution. The [PARRY] skill was primed for something and I needed to keep doing what I was doing until I got it. Else I might’ve combusted with the accumulated blue balls of missing the reveal.
In the corner of my vision, I noticed Methol prowling the inside of the barrier, watching me. I chanced a longer glance and, sure enough, she had her eyes stuck to me, the toy in her hands forgotten.
Of course, I flashed her a grin and almost got my head knocked off by the next surviving furnar. Because of course it had snuck up on me, even with half its head smeared into jello.
And of course its fist found my face. Because why would I get a single moment to fucking smile at a blue half-elf chick that was just then paying all her attention to me?