For her, any Tuesday was just another Tuesday, like today.
The same attitude, the same luck.
And on the topic of luck—hers was definitely wretched. Because if being pretty boy’s seatmate wasn’t bad enough, they also had almost identical student tables.
A fact Raven inquired about after experiencing days of seeing the boy everywhere, besides far away from her.
Nevertheless, hell would freeze over before she would acknowledge him.
They were players in a game where pride was the price.
The one who yielded first lost. And she would be damned before she allowed herself to lose.
He may be a lost puppy, but Raven was no martyr.
He was persistent, but she was desperate.
Persistence was a fight. Desperation was war.
And Raven was desperate to defend what was hers, what should never be hers, while keeping it as pleasant as she could for herself.
At least this shouldn’t be denied of her. And if a childish, self-played game was not only her cough drop but caught her whenever her resolve faltered, then that was it.
It didn’t matter that no matter how she ignored him, how cold—how mean—she was, or how many weird looks he got, he just didn’t back down.
She was sure. She had to be sure that she was doing the right thing. Raven wouldn’t dare to think of a reality she wasn’t.
Besides, the constant blabbering and pestering good mood of the boy had to tire anybody out at one point—even himself.
The sheer reminder of his smile and smirks made her skin crawl, feeling itchy like insects swarming and crawling up her skin,
resulting in Raven changing her sitting position, trying to get comfortable.
“Just a matter of time,” thought Raven, nibbling on a minor wound on her upper lip, trying to find some comfort.
The memory of his skittish behavior flashed before her eyes—Adrien running his hand multiple times through his hair, shifting his stance under Raven’s defeating silence.
“Well, at least I am not the only unnerved one,” muttered Raven under her breath, the sun warm on her skin.
Nobody could withstand scrutiny without a good reason. And nobody should—more so, not for someone who is so undeserving.
Scrutiny. One word. Containing so much more than just hate or judgment. It was born from jealousy, disbelief, differences,
or dissatisfaction, and was deeply rooted in each society.
It thrived wherever there was intolerance, reserved for the people who didn’t fit in. It was the tool used to devise and unite.
It was obvious that wherever a society existed, there was some kind of hierarchy. It didn’t matter how beautiful it was portrayed.
It was the order for a society to work as one body.
By no means was this all bad; there is no denying that there is a need for some control and order in a diverse society.
It becomes a problem when you don’t have the right or chance to be whoever you wanted—when someone ruled you.
A right the society itself should strive for.
Some politicians and activists were trying, but that was hardly enough.
And as cruel as it was, her school and the people around her were a prime example of a failed society.
A victim of this cruel system. A byproduct of the negligence of the proclaimed leaders. It was a social problem, not just a problem of a few individuals.
Despite knowing this, Raven felt bile roll up from her stomach to her throat, burning her in the process like acid.
Raven hated how this ruthless system knew no adult or child. It spared no one. Everyone who dared to go against it paid a heavy price for their wish.
It was a system that punished you for being you.
So no matter how pretty and charming pretty boy was, or how long he wanted to pretend, the looks, the whispers—they didn’t matter.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
It was just a matter of time before he would get burned. It wouldn’t matter if it healed or not.
It didn’t matter how grave the wound was. It always left a scar—a reminder, a warning.
It was a devil’s circle. There was no escape. It was a losing battle.
She was currently experiencing it in its full glory. So if Raven could help it, he wouldn’t be the next Adelaine, becoming a wound that ran too deep.
Raven let out soft chuckles, looking up into the sky, the rays blending with her. It was to no one’s surprise that the people around her hated her.
Even though most had no direct issue with her—hell, they barely knew her before—they nowadays treated her like they did.
And for the love of God, they should stop telling themselves they did it for her, serving justice where there was none.
Raven would rather look into menacing eyes that saw her and not another girl.
They had deluded themselves to the point they believed they were living in and supporting a righteous society,
while all the time their actions reflected the result of a rotten society.
However, it didn’t matter why they did it—hate, punishment, self-preservation, or beliefs—she was already fair game.
So if he got his act straight before they couldn’t tolerate it anymore, he would shine like the bright star among the many, not battling in the shadows.
And if there was one thing people like them shared in common, it was that one of their top mottos was either “my way or no way.”
Staying beside her made him, by their standards, like her. Making him an outcast. It was social suicide.
It was so easy—so why couldn’t he see? He should be smarter than that. There was no way people hadn’t told him yet.
So why, just why? She was sure they already eyed him. After all, he seemed to be one of their own.
And if there was one thing they were good at, it was differentiating.
A bubble of dark yet deep thoughts had formed around Raven while she sat at their usual hiding spot, a safe space shielding Raven and Adelaine from the outside world.
There was a big tree over the bench that hid Raven.
She sat holding up her book, one AirPod in, noting different tunes that played in her heart.
It illustrated a beautiful picture to onlookers. She looked serene the way she sat there, leaning against the backrest of the bench.
Like in an ancient portrait—firm yet fragile, as if she could break at any given moment.
As if fate wanted to be proved right, a loud, girly, warm voice shattered the bubble—
something that happened occasionally due to their own distinct nature—
her eyes shooting up, searching for the source, and her fingers tightly grabbing her utensils.
“Raveeee—gurlll, girly pop, honeyyyy, look who is here, your one and only favorite person in this whole wide world, me, Adelaine Ming!”
Adelaine shouted in her direction, hast steps following.
“As always, at service for the greater good and matching my title, I brought you something.”
‘ It’s the coffee, I swear, ‘ resigned Raven inwardly, a gentle sigh escaping her, eyes reflecting the warmth of the sun.
Even if they were like day and night, Adelaine was one of the few people Raven still cared for,
and one day she hoped Adelaine would let her in, let Raven see behind the loud laughs and bright colors.
But for now, glimpses were enough. After all, she had not much to offer in return.
Nevertheless, Adelaine was the closest thing she had to a best friend.
They were a fresh breeze, always around each other, calming, accompanying each other, but never intruding.
They waited to be invited—a thing a lot of other people should take a piece of.
Raven, like Adelaine, knew their respective place. And maybe that’s why they worked so well.
That didn’t mean they didn’t like each other or care. They just respected each other’s space.
But what really captured Raven’s interest was not Adelaine as she made her way to their spot, her black hair getting tousled by the wind,
but the two boys that followed her.
“What the actual fuck, Ade?” whispered Raven into the air.
It was Adrien Anarché, the person she barely escaped, someone who started to become the bane of her existence in school—the boy she had just barely escaped—and an unknown boy.
Objectively, Raven knew Adelaine had no actual fault, as she probably had no idea how Raven felt about him.
Adelaine wasn’t one to believe rumors, and she was sick till today, so she didn’t know any better. But Adelaine knew better than to bring anyone to their place.
Raven felt her fingertips and toes tingling, urging her to move.
Although she really wanted to, Raven clenched her teeth, hissing quietly, clutching her hands to stop the tingle.
‘Fuck this’—here Raven was thinking of respect and Adelaine—Raven huffed, clutching her hands tighter until she saw dots on her reddish palm.
That boy seemed to suck up her live energy with his constant focus on her.
It was taxing trying to actively have no interaction with him when he did almost everything in his power to achieve the opposite.
It was like fighting an endless battle.
And Adelaine just had to bring him to the only place she felt safe from him in school.
Before he came, she was practically a ghost. Sure, people were aware of her presence, but not her.
They had a certain image of her that they saw. So she mostly didn’t exist for anyone.
Almost nobody tried actively to get her attention or see her, besides Adelaine.
Now she had another pair of eyes on her, who focused even more on her, watching and provoking any reaction of hers.
All of this had been disrupting her personally created peace for almost one and a half weeks.
It was like he had started following her around school. She saw him almost everywhere—between classes and in classes—
while he was laughing and joking, sitting near her, talking her ear off, making it seem like he was barely acknowledging the other people,
yet they swarmed around him like he was honey.
And if he interacted with others, he kept it neither very short nor particularly long. It was polite, yet it had something personal.
While he kept a certain distance—it was like a dog with a fox’s tail.
However, it wasn’t like Raven was observing him. No, she was just simply noticing and wondering:
Why was he so interested in her? What was his real personality?
Adrien had no clear character—it made the predictable unpredictable in some aspects.
Even so, it was clear he was part of the popular crowd if one was to believe the locker talks—or at least not one of them.
No one was by complete free will.
Raven inwardly regretted never telling him to shut up before they had reached this stage.
But how could she have known that he read social signs differently?
‘Stupid decisions have stupid consequences,’ a high-pitched voice reprimanded her.
Raven huffed again, dropping her eyes briefly before looking back.
At this rate, even a saint would go crazy, not to mention her—someone who put her own peace before almost everything.
_______________________
Minutes had passed since she first saw them, and now they were all right before her.
Adrien seemed to have caught her stare and winked at her as a response, causing a shudder to run through Raven.
‘Just what was his deal?’ asked Raven herself, her voice cold with a slight edge.
She felt like screaming her frustration out. All of this was so confusing.
Was she not already doing enough? She shouldn’t have to deal with this. And especially not now.
But instead of doing just that, she balled her hands in her pockets, letting her fingernails sink into her soft skin, drawing almost blood.
The pain felt calming, but this wasn’t enough to soothe her dry throat.
Redirecting her gaze, she gave Adelaine a warning look.
If the boys sensed her still-subtle anger, they didn’t show any visible reaction to it.
But Adelaine, in comparison, bit her lip, fingers twirling in her hair.
“I know, Raven, we don’t do this, but they are new, have no friends, and he was looking for you, and I thought maybe…”
“You thought what? Just bringing them here with no notice?
You have a phone for a reason; at least try to act like you wanted to give me a chance to decide.”
Raven’s voice was sharp, leaving no room for misunderstanding her words.
“But you would have said no,” Adelaine whined.
“Hell yeah, Couz. Guess what? This isn’t just your place, and I have a right to voice my right.”
Raven ended the conversation and looked into her eyes; Adelaine immediately did the same.
The moment their eyes met, all playfulness vanished. A silent stare battle had begun, and the outside world seemed to vanish into the background.
It was nothing new. Whenever they fought but felt words weren’t enough anymore, and they wanted more.
They looked each other straight in the eyes, trying to understand each other better. Because they were people who played as easily as they breathed.
For them, the eyes could bear what the mouth would not dare to say.
And like always, silence erupted between them. In that moment, it was just them and their honest feelings.
Raven showed her how restless this made her feel, and Adelaine showed her how genuine the goodwill behind this idea came from.
Before Raven could see more, before she let more slip, Adelaine closed her eyes, clearing whatever was left.
‘ Always the same.’ But Raven had already seen a glimpse and just gave Adelaine one last knowing look before going back to her notes, signaling the end of it.
Before Raven even spoke up, Adelaine should have already known Raven lost this one.
But before Raven could bite her tongue and delay the inevitable, she heard herself say,
“It’s fine, I guess. Just stay; it’s not like I can rewind time and make you forget ever coming here.”
The words dripping poorly concealed distaste.
Thanks for reading! As promised, here’s Chapter 14. It’s around 5k words in draft form, so I’ve split it into two parts ( it’s also not my best chapter, but I tried ) . Next week, you’ll get part two—and maybe Chapter 15 too, if I have the time.
See you next Sunday!
Little teaser :
“He seems bearable.”