Morph and Paingirl were on patrol once again. With Speedster missing, and Brick being well Brick, it was really only them and Magenta keeping the district from being wiped out immediately.

  "FEEL THE PAIN, BITCH!"

  "Paingirl! You shouldn't hurt civilians!"

  "THIS IS WHY YOU'LL NEVER BE A REAL HERO, BITCH!"

  "OW! Whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you stab meeeeeeeeeeeee?!?!"

  "'CAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYING, BITCH!"

  Let's just say the death toll for this odd summer was higher than usual.

  Along their route, they happened to come across a Tofu-shaped person enjoying a cinnamon bun.

  "IT'S THAT BITCH!"

  "Don't! I wanna thank him for saving me!"

  But Paingirl could not be stopped from bringing the pain. If she could, she wouldn't be Paingirl.

  She dialed up the painometer on her painstick to the 'blacker than blackest black' setting, color drained from the world itself, and she stabbed as hard as she ever stabbed anyone before in her life while screaming "YOU BITCH!"

  Unfortunately for the disappointing duo, this wasn't Tofu they had come across. No: This was some Bad Tofu they found.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Despite being in a moderate amount of pain that made it claw its own brain out, it still managed to slurp out their brains, ate Paingirl, and wore Morph's body as a suit.

  Evil Tofu finished the last nibbles on his bun, and slithered into the sewer.

  Magenta collapsed in a cushy chair at base. As much as she loved hurting people (you can't really be a good super cop without having this trait), sometimes she got the sense she was the only one really contributing anything. That all these other schmucks were glorified aides, at best. Honestly she felt they weren't carrying their weight.

  Who was it that killed the banshee? Who was it that brought string dude to justice? Who solved the mystery of the spontaneously combusting ghost cars?

  I'll tell you who it wasn't

  "Have a milkshake, Magneto."

  Well, she supposed he wasn't entirely useless.

  Hrm, the kids should have checked in by now.

  "Have you heard anything from Paingirl and Morph?"

  "NO! I don't care about anyone but Speedie!"

  She really hoped they were just indisposed. If they quit, she'd give up and quit too. Move to the beach and drink milkshakes every day and get fat.