Chapter 70

  Lydia

  I gasped as I shot up in the bed, drenched in a cold sweat that made my body shiver along with the fading memory of my recurring nightmare. Audrey shifted beside me on the bed, a cute groan escaping her lips as her sapphire eyes fluttered open at my sudden movement.

  "Lydia—"

  "I'm fine." I interrupted her sleepy question, already knowing what it would be. We had talked properly about her concern, but admitting how affected I was by mere bad dreams felt... weak.

  "Dia..." Even Azure's voice was filled with worry as she spoke in my mind, but I just reassured her, which she wasn't convinced by in the slightest. "You are aware I can feel your emotions, yes? Are we all that untrustworthy to you?"

  "That's not..." I started, but the words died as I focused on Audrey's face. Her expression was turned down in disappointment and sadness, her blue eyes cracked with glowing silver in the darkness of our bedroom as she conversed with her own goddess. A sigh escaped me as I laid back down, my head hitting the soft pillow as I stared up the canopy of the bed.

  A warm hand slipped into mine as Audrey rolled onto her side to face me, hugging my arm. Slowly, her feather-light touch stroked up and down my forearm, sending tingles throughout my body.

  "We only have a few more days together... Do you really want me worrying about you while I'm on the frontlines too?" She asked quietly.

  "Audrey..."

  Why didn't I just tell her? Yet every time I opened my mouth, an uncomfortable feeling filled my chest, and the words wouldn't come out. I knew I was being prideful, but it was such a little thing... I had no idea why she was so insistent on knowing.

  "It's because we care, Dia. I know I shouldn't have to explain that to you." Azure chided in my head, and guilt flooded me. Maybe the lack of rest is really getting to me... Reaching over, I brushed Audrey's hair with my fingers and met her gaze.

  "I'm sorry... I promise to talk to you about it before you leave." She stared up at me for a long moment before she bit her lip and nodded subtly, snuggling closer to my body with her eyes closed.

  "I'll hold you to that." It was long before her eyes closed for the good, the embrace of sleep claiming her as her breath evened peacefully.

  Somehow, I managed to fall back asleep as well, only to be greeted with the familiar sight of Duke Rose as my nightmare repeated once again.

  ***

  Audrey

  "Are you alright, sister?" The voice of my younger sister drew my attention back to the table laden with snacks and tea. Sitting around the table with me were Sasha and her mother as I held a teacup halfway to my lips. I really spaced out...

  "Perhaps you're uncomfortable with me being here, Audrey?" Victoria asked worriedly, genuine concern etched onto her once sharp features She had lost the air of a spoiled duchess, much to my relief.

  "No, it isn't that." I said reassuringly. While being around her still made my flesh crawl with goosebumps, and dredged up the worst memories from my childhood, I wanted to put in an effort for Sasha's sake, and I knew Victoria felt the same way. Lydia hadn't been too thrilled about the idea but understood that it would be for the best if she and I could at least be amicable without ruining the mood.

  Sasha glanced between us with pressed lips as a cloud moved in front of the shining sun, dimming the world slightly around us.

  "You still haven't resolved things with sister Lydia?" my little sister eventually asked, and she gave a wry smile when I nodded my head quietly."For two people bound by fate, you sure drag things out.”

  I could only chuckle a bit disheartened at her observation and looked down at the table, tapping my fingertips against the teacup I held between my palms.

  “It happens to everyone, my dear.” Victoria chided her daughter gently. “Fighting is just a sign of closeness in a relationship. Even the most compatible people will always find a difference in the smallest things.”

  “It’s not that we’re fighting…” I mumbled bashfully. “I just want her to talk to me, but Lydia seems to think it’s unimportant. Maybe it is, but I still want to know.”

  “It’s about her nightmares recently, right?" Sasha asked, and I glanced at her in surprise. Seeing my depression, she smiled. “I overheard her attendants talking about it, they seemed concerned as well, but mostly for her lack of sleep.”

  “I’m worried about that as well, of course.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair and staring at the roof of the canopy shielding us from the afternoon sun. “But dreams always have meaning behind them, and if it’s preventing her from resting, then I think there’s a subconscious reason for it she’s avoiding.” When I looked back down, Sasha and Victoria were looking at me with surprise on their faces. “What?”

  “I’ve just never heard you be so serious… Or look it, for that matter.” Sasha teased, and I felt heat crawl up my face.

  “I’m perfectly capable of it.” I muttered, then cleared my throat and tried to fight back the embarrassment I felt being called out by my own sibling. After that air grew quiet between us, and I once more fell into thoughts about my troublesome girlfriend. It wasn’t until a while later that Sasha grabbed our attention again.

  “Mother… Sister… Truthfully, I have something to confess.” She began, which made me glance at Victoria, who bore a worried expression. My sister closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting our gazes resolutely. “On the night of the reclamation, I was the one who dealt the final blow to Father.”

  Her words hung in the air for a moment, and I took my time to digest the revelation as various emotions surfaced and disappeared. Shock and anger were the first to come and go, then concern and frustration that our own inability had been the root cause. If only we had taken care of him before he could escape. I knew it was because of the unexpected turn of events during the battle, but I still bore the responsibility as her older sister.

  After the whirlwind of emotion, what eventually settled was acceptance. Deep down, I knew Sasha had lied to us about staying away from the conflict, and I knew she had her own reasons for being involved to begin with. Perhaps it was selfish of me to try and keep her away to begin with. My sister had changed during the three years I was gone, it wasn’t right for me to keep imposing who she used to be on the current Sasha. As I came to terms with my own thoughts on the matter, it was Victoria who spoke first to ease the ever-growing panic on her daughter's face.

  “I knew, darling.” The older woman said with a gentle smile.

  “Y-you did?” Sasha stuttered in surprise, which garnered a nod from her mother.

  “I did.” She held out her hand, and a small storm of faintly visible green magic swirled in the air above it. “That night, I heard you leave the safehouse… And your knight shortly after you.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything? Or stop me?”

  “I wanted to.” Victoria admitted. “My love for your father didn’t just vanish… It still hasn’t. But after all the atrocities Thomas had committed in his lust for power, I came to the only right answer, even if it was far too late.” She reached over the table and took Sasha's hand in hers. “You are, and will always be, my priority. And I knew you needed to go, if only for peace of mind. However, I had hoped you wouldn’t need to experience something so tragic…” She stopped for a moment and tilted her head with unshed tears brimming in her light green eyes. “Do you regret it? Should I have stopped you?”

  “No.” Sasha’s answer was short, but filled with conviction.

  “Then I’ll be waiting for you whenever you need to talk.” The atmosphere between the pair was filled with warmth, and I suddenly felt a bit out of place. It wasn’t until Sasha looked at me that I realized my opinion was the one she was truly worried about. The expression on her face now was more fearful than anything else.

  “I’m sorry if I disappointed you.” She said to me, but I just shook my head slowly.

  “You didn’t. I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you from it to begin with.” this made her giggle warmly for some reason.

  “You and sister Lydia really are meant for one another.”

  “Did she tell you the same thing?” I asked curiously. “Is that what you two were talking about in your secret rendezvous?”

  “She figured it out on her own and asked me about it.” Sasha confirmed, and I felt some relief knowing she hadn’t gone to Lydia before me after all. She paused for a moment and looked down at her fiddling hands on top of the table. “I still wanted to be the sweet, innocent little sister you always loved, Sister… But so much has happened while you were gone. It's just… Isn’t who I am anymore.”

  I smiled reassuringly and followed Victoria’s lead as I reached across the table and took her hands in mine.

  “Whoever you are, is who I love, Sasha. I only hope you never lose sight of who you’re meant to be.”

  “Isn’t that why I have such amazing older sisters?” She asked playfully, grinning at me. “To be my role models?" I laughed at that and nodded happily.

  “We’ll do our best too so you won’t feel disappointed.”

  The tea party between the three of us may have started tense and awkward, but leaving was much harder than I expected. I wanted to find Lydia and talk to her again… But the best thing I could do right now was give her the space she needed to figure it out herself. I knew she would come to me on her own when she was ready. As I left the canopy behind with the still-talking mother and daughter, I decided on my next destination.

  Maybe I should go test out some new moves with Koyuki…

  ***

  “Alright, Koyuki! Are you ready?” I asked excitedly, and the wolf in front of me barked in response. She bounded forward, and right as she reached me, her white and Ice-blue mottled fur vanished into the darkness of my shadow. Closing my eyes, I focused my senses through the shadows, watching my wolf carefully as she floated through the void space.

  “It really is strange… acquiring and using divinity requires some semblance of self-awareness.” My goddess mused.

  “She’s always been super smart though.” I pointed out, but received an image of Aurora shaking her head at me.

  “It’s more than that… in order to wield divine power, even without being a divine guardian, you have to have some concept of what it is to begin with. In order to understand that spirits and deities exist, you first need to question how you came to be. That’s what makes humanity as a while compatible as our divine guardians.”

  “But I didn’t really believe in deities before I met you…” I said, a bit embarrassed.

  “Maybe, but you still understood the idea from stories or books you’d seen. Animals, even magic beasts, do not have that same level of intelligence beyond their natural instincts, even if they are smarter than the average beast.” We both paused the conversation when Koyuki started to whine quietly, and I pulled her from my shadows quickly. Since she had stella now coursing through her body, she could withstand the divine pressure of my shadows, but not for nearly as long as Lydia or I could. It was only safe to keep her in there for a dozen minutes at a time.

  “You did a good job, girl.” I cooed and bent down to pet the wolf's head as she laid in the dirt beside me, panting slightly. She licked at my hand and yipped adorably, earning more headparts in the process before I turned my attention back to my goddess.

  “But magic beasts are smart enough to use magic…” I trailed off, implying my next thought, which my goddess picked up on.

  “That’s nothing more than a step in natural evolution, same as it was for humanity’s development of magic. It’s instinctual for animals, which is why they hold more power than the average mage overall, but that’s also their limitation. Humans can analyze and develop magic within their own minds, advancing its development much faster than evolution can do.”

  “So animals have a stronger base, but we have a higher ceiling?” I clarified, and Aurora smiled at me through our bond.

  “Exactly.” A moment passed while I pondered that information, and my thoughts drifted back to Koyuki.

  “Wouldn’t it make sense to assume that a spirit bonded with Koyuki when she was born then?” I asked. “Maybe her latent divinity reacted to the emperor’s stella.”

  “Azure and I have been discussing the same theory. It’s never happened before, to our knowledge, but it's the best explanation we can come up with. She was already an intelligent creature, and we believe that being with you and Lydia also had something to do with it. ” My goddess agreed.

  “That basically means we were fated to meet, right?” I said happily, still stroking the wolf's fur, and a beautiful laugh filled my mind.

  “I suppose it does, my guardian.”

  For a while after that, I just played with Koyuki in the training grounds. Slowly, more people arrived to train, but I caught whispers through the shadows that most of them came to see the two of us in person. Eventually, a familiar pair arrived.

  "What are you two doing out here?" A voice came from the castle behind us, and I turned to see Lucia and Abel walking our way, both dressed in training clothes with wooden swords in hand.

  "Training." I said, reaching down to stroke the recovered Koyuki’s fur, and she yipped in agreement before her tongue lolled out to the side. Cute.

  "Oh, really?" Abel said with a smirk. "That's what we were coming out to do... Care to join?" I looked between the couple and smiled.

  "I would love to... But I have to ask—" I met Lucia's gaze and tilted my head. "Do you two ever go on proper dates?" The training ground filled with silence, as even some of the other knights and soldiers around us froze in place.

  "O-Of course we do!" Lucia sputtered, her face turning red. "Right, Abel?"   "Of course!" Abel defended at his girlfriend's command. "We come here nearly every day!"

  Another silence.

  "That's not..." I started, then stopped, shaking my head. "Nevermind."   "Wait, Audrey!" My friend shouted after me as I stepped away from them. "What do you mean by that?!"

  "I'll tell you if you beat me!" I returned with a grin, then gave Abel a curious glance. "How are we sparring?"

  Abel seemed to be lost in thought for a moment until my question jarred him back to reality.

  "Oh, uh. I was thinking you and the wolf versus us." He gestured at himself and Lucia while talking, and I thought it over for a moment before nodding.   "Sounds good to me." I waved my hand for Koyuki to join me and she came trotting over, her tail wagging in the air behind her. I knelt down and ruffled her fur again while filling her in.

  "We're going to be fighting them, but don't really hurt them, alright?" I explained not really sure if she'd understood fully, but to my surprise she barked in response, and I saw ice form over her sharp teeth, dulling them. I blinked in awe as she sat down and lifted one of her front paws, showing that her claws had been covered in the same magic to prevent serious injury. The barrier around the grounds only nullified magic, after all.

  "Wow! Our girl is a genius!" I devolved into puppy talk as I scratched behind her ears, and the wolf's eyes narrowed in contentment before someone cleared their throat loudly.

  "Do you two need a moment? " Abel teased and stood back up and laughed sheepishly.

  "No, no. We're ready to go... Right Koyuki?" The wolf stepped up beside me and barked again in response.

  It was about this time that the others in the training grounds gathered around us and formed a proper crowd.

  "Prince Abel is sparring with one of the divine guardians?"

  "Isn't she the girl who fought three years ago on the front line?"

  "She can't be that strong, since they got decimated— oof!" The third voice was interrupted by more than one elbow to the stomach, but his words pricked at my heart as I thought of all those that were lost... Because of me.

  "It wasn't because of you, my guardian. Direct that anger towards the proper target." My goddess said softly.

  "I know... The emperor and Duke Rose were to blame, but still ... If I hadn't left when I did—"

  "Then you likely would've died with them, and Lydia would not have survived." Aurora's words were blunt but truthful. "Now focus on your spar." I nodded, refocusing on the two across the training ground when a sudden question came to mind.

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  "Hey, is magic allowed this time?" I shouted to Abel, who tilted his head in thought before nodding.

  "Yes! But you can't use your shadows for restraint, and do your best to hold back if necessary… We all know the fight would be over immediately if you wanted it to be."

  "Understood!" Taking them out right away wouldn’t be beneficial training for anyone. I grinned as I moved into a ready stance, and I felt Koyuki shift beside me as her cute face hardened and she let out a low growl. The prince raised his hand in the air, and Lucia raised her wooden sword beside him as they both prepared for the fight.? And then there was a strike of lightning.

  In a flash, the four of us dashed toward one another.

  "Koyuki, take Lucia!" I ordered, and my wolf broke to the right, racing like an arrow straight for the blue-haired knight who braced to receive the beast. Sword raised, I closed the distance between Abel and me, attacking with a swift overhead strike that the prince parried easily, but I had expected that. Ducking beneath his retaliation strike, I swung horizontally with my blade, while simultaneously pointing my other hand at the ground, shooting a jet of water into my shadow and directing it into his. The water shot into his back, and Abell grunted with surprise and slight pain as the water cut through his cotton shirt, but he bore it only for a moment before jumping to the side.

  I moved to chase, but was stopped as a burst of lightning exploded from him in an arc, and the water barrier I had just barely managed to create in defense exploded into droplets and vapor as it clashed with the electricity.

  To our right, I saw Lucia swinging down at Koyuki, who lithely dodged around the wooden blade and even deflected with powerful swipes of her claws. Icicles and water blades shot between them at every opening, but neither was landing a decisive blow.

  "Why are you taking your eyes off your opponent?!" Abel shouted as he swung down at me, but a wave of water formed beneath my feet, sliding me sideways with an unnatural motion that made him miss.

  "I didn't!" I replied with a smirk, whipping tendrils of shadow at him and mentally reminding myself not to wrap them as restraints. However, when my shadows touched his body and wooden blade, they exploded into purple and black motes of magic. Narrowing my eyes, I noticed the thin sparks of lightning crackling along his body. "Impressive control." I whistled excitedly.

  "Well, we all had to grow stronger after you two vanished." The prince replied, putting a frown on my face. Seeing that he hurriedly corrected himself. "Not that we're blaming you are anything!" He waved his hands frantically as he tried to explain himself, but I hit him with another blast of water through his shadow, and he grunted in slight pain. "Okay... That one's on me, I suppose."

  After recovering with only slight wounds so far, he pointed his hand at me. Sensing the immense mana gathering in his body, I jumped backwards with a jet of water just as lightning scorched the ground where I'd been standing. However, he didn't give me any time to retaliate as strikes of lightning chased me all over the training field. Even when I tried to slip through the shadows behind him, he shot magic at every shadow he could see, including his own. Luckily, I managed to close my connection in time so he couldn't use my realm against me, but more then one of his bolts got trapped in the space between shadows.

  I countered some with my own offensive spells, and water and shadow exploded against electricity for a while until he caught me by surprise. He had surrounded me with multiple bolts, and so I leaped high into the air, expecting that the attack would hit the ground beneath me. Instead, all the arcs of blue lightning converged into one stronger attack before shooting straight up, striking me dead on.

  The blast sent me hurtling back to the ground, where I landed with an explosion of dust. My body ached from the impact, and my nerves tingled from the shock, leaving me dazed for a moment.

  That was all it took before Abel appeared above my prone form, his sword held against my neck as sparks jumped from it to my skin, intensifying the numbness I was already feeling.

  "Did you assume I still couldn't control my lightning after shooting it? It was one of my many improvements." The man smirked down at me, and I smiled back.   "I did. You certainly caught me off guard."

  "It's my win—" Before he could declare his victory, I whistled a loud, high-pitched note, and immediately connected my shadow to Koyuki, who was now panting with effort from fighting Lucia to a standstill, though the knight was shivering and covered with frost.

  “Not yet." I said to Abel, and a moment later, a mass of blue and white fur shot from his shadow. Ice-covered teeth sank into his shoulder, and Abel cried out in surprise as my wolf pulled him down to the ground. A burst of holy magic had my body back to normal, and I stood up, kicking the wooden sword from the prince's hand.”

  “Freeze his limbs, Koyuki!" I ordered as I dashed toward the approaching Lucia, who was moving slower than usual because of her onset hypothermia.

  "Goddess, that's so cold!" I heard Abel cry out behind me, and quick glance showed his arms and legs frozen to the ground by massive blocks of ice. However, I saw steam rising as he concentrated his lighting underneath the ice, melting it rapidly.

  "Koyuki... keep him down." I shouted again, and this time my wolf moved, clamping her jaw lightly around the man's neck, who immediately stopped resisting.

  "Damn wolf..." I heard him mutter in frustration as I finally clashed Lucia.   I threw a water blade at her, which she deflected with her own water magic, and right before we? both were in striking range, I drew my sword back and...

  "What the fu---" my friend's eyes went wide as the wooden weapon flew right at her face. Thanks Cass... I thanked the adventurer who had once used such a move on me.

  "Since when do you throw your weapons—?" Her question was cut off as I barrelled shoulder-first into her stomach, propelled by pressurized jets of water from my feet, and we tumbled to the ground. Despite her freezing condition, she still prevented me from ending up on top right away, but her strength gave out for a single moment, which I used to pin her to the ground, my hand swirling with shadows and water as I wrapped it around her neck.

  We stared at one another, only our heavy breathing filling the air until her lips cracked into a tired smile.

  "Ice magic is unfair… And since when can you take anyone other than Lydia through the shadows?"

  "She's a frost wolf... was she supposed to use fire magic?" I replied, turning my head to the side to where Koyuki was still latched onto Abel's throat, while the prince trembled at the temperature. "As for our new trick… What do you think we were out here training for?" Catching my breath, I then asked for surrender loudly. so that they both could hear, and their acknowledgement came immediately.

  Standing up, I brushed myself off before reaching a hand down to help my friend up, who took it gratefully. My wolf let Abel go as well, and even helped him stand up by nudging his back with her nose. Adorable. All Koyuki's ice magic dissipated, but that didn't help their still lowered body temperatures, which was soon saved by a few fire mages stepping from the crowd of spectators and warming the two up.

  Then, everyone erupted in cheers around us.

  "That was amazing! Did you see how Lady Guardian worked with her divine beast?"

  "The divine beast is so majestic and powerful!"

  "I want to pet her..."

  "Lady Guardian herself is also quite strong! She took down His Highness and Lieutenant Lucia!"

  So many people were praising us, and while I became a bit shy under all the attention, Koyuki sat on her hind legs and puffed her chest out proudly, and I could've sworn she had a smug look in her eyes.

  "Calling her a divine beast isn't too far off the mark." Aurora suddenly chimed in my head thoughtfully.

  “If it gives them even a bit more hope, then I’m okay with it.” I said, eyeing my wolf. “She also seems to love the attention.”

  After everything settled down and the crowd dispersed after what felt like forever, the four of us gathered together and talked about the match, complimenting and giving one another advice. Once that was done too, I pulled Abel to the side and stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

  “Even a girl like Lucia loves to be treated like any other girl… You should take her to the city sometimes.” I advised, glancing at the knight who was too busy playing with Koyuki.

  “I know that!” Abel replied defensively. “It’s just… with everything going on right now, it never felt right to enjoy ourselves.”

  “Well, we have a few days until the war starts back up.” I said. “I’ve learned that it’s important to remember what we’re fighting for… and I’m sure you’ll appreciate taking her ?shopping and to dinner.”

  When the man eyed me suspiciously, I giggled behind my hand.

  “Lucia looks gorgeous in dresses… especially low necklines.”

  That made Abel turn a shade of red I’d only ever seen on my girlfriend, and he covered his face with a hand.

  “I-I’ll think about it.” He mumbled, and when his girlfriend came over to finally join us, he had to quickly calm himself.?

  Have Lydia and I really done more than them…?

  ***

  Again… and again, it just keeps happening! I cried in frustration, tears flowing down my face as my horrid nightmare restarted from the beginning. Every time I tried to sleep, it was the only thing I saw, and now it was even looping multiple times a night.

  As the dreadful sight of Thomas Rose appeared before me once more, I felt only pain and exhaustion as the bodies of my loved ones appeared around me, and then the academy students… Then finally Sasha and Audrey, dead by my mother's hands. I knew it was nothing but a dream, but my heart screamed every single time, and my body moved of its own accord, forcing me to watch every single moment.

  “Please…” The words fell from my lips during a loop, unbidden but filled with desperation. “I-I can’t do this anymore…” I was only met with mocking laughter as the phantom of Duke Rose cackled at my misery. “I don’t—I can’t watch them die anymore! Please, just stop!” I screamed, sobs finally escaping me in full force as I broke down. I was tired, both mentally and physically. Since the funeral, I hadn’t slept a single peaceful night, and had been using my holy magic to keep myself going, but I was at my limit now.

  I had tried everything to escape, but I could only ever control my body after Audrey was killed. Then, I would wake up shortly after, if enough time had passed for the sun to rise and shine through our bedroom window. It was to the point where I dreaded going to bed each night now.

  “You’ve finally lost it,” Thomas Rose sneered at me as I stood frozen in place; the events beginning again. “Look at you. The brave princess of Venyth, all scared and alone, sniveling like a child.”

  “Just leave me be!” I shouted angrily, my voice hoarse and raw. “I know it’s all my fault! If I hadn’t gone to the castle alone… If I had been stronger, Mother and Father might still be alive… Audrey wouldn’t have had to rush back from the front line. Maybe—” I paused and took a shuddering breath. “Maybe we would’ve won if I hadn’t been so weak.” My words were only met with the phantoms mocking laughter until something changed within me.

  “Let me help you, Lydia.” Suddenly, Audrey’s words echoed in the back of my mind, faint and quiet at first, but hers were soon joined by others.

  “It’s because we care about you.” Azure’s voice next, followed by my brother's

  “We don’t blame you, Lydia… Nobody does.”

  Slowly, the words grew louder in my head as I cried violently, stuck in this never-ending nightmare. And then, finally, the words escaped my mouth.

  “Help me…” The phantom of Duke Rose turned to look toward me at my whispered words.

  “What did you just say?” He asked, his face a mask of coldness.

  “H-Help me…” I repeated, my tears flowing even more now as I gave in, and my pride shattered. “A-Audrey… I’m sorry for being so stubborn. Please… I need you. Please help me.” Once the plea began, it wouldn’t stop, and I crumpled to my knees, free of the nightmare's control for the first time. “Azure, my goddess. I’m sorry for being a prideful guardian. Please save me from this hell.”

  I had to pause and take a raspy breath. “Luke, Abel, I really need my big brothers right now. Your arms always make me feel safe…” My voice waned then, strained from the stress I had been under and my emotional cries. “Mother… Father… Tell me everything is going to be okay… That this is all just a bad dream…”

  I was bent over the ground now, kneeling with my head buried in my arms as I sobbed. The shame and pain occupied me so much that I didn’t notice the destroyed throne room, the source of all this pain, vanishing around me. It wasn’t until I heard her voice that I looked up and saw nothing but darkness.

  “It’s okay, Lydia. I’m right here… Of course I’ll help you. We all will.” My girlfriend's voice chimed like a bell, flooding my overstimulated system with relief and calm.

  “Audrey… I’m so sorry.” I apologized weakly. “I just wanted to be strong.”

  “You are.” She said gently. “But even the strongest people need help. When you wake up… I hope you’ll open up to me again.” Her earnest hope swelled inside me, and suddenly, my mind grew exhausted and my vision hazy.

  “I will…” I mumbled truthfully. “I can’t fight this alone any longer.” From the depths of my shattered pride, heat rose and exploded from within me. My eyes closed, and the image of my mother’s bracelet around my wrist, glowing with golden fire, was the last thing I saw as I fell asleep.

  And what a peaceful rest it was.

  ***

  The next morning, the sunlight felt gentle on my face as my eyes cracked open. The sunbeams that filtered though the glass of our bedroom window illuminated the room in a soft glow, and I sighed in relaxation. It had been many days since I’d felt refreshed after waking up, and the sun itself no longer seemed to view me as an enemy anymore.

  I nearly fell back asleep when I felt the mattress shift beneath me and an arm wrapped around my torso just below my chest.

  “Are you awake, Lydia?” Audrey whispered quietly against my ear, and her breath felt warm on my skin. I hummed a noise of acknowledgement and pressed myself against her body, savoring the intimate moment together. The covers, pillow, mattress, and my girlfriend's body surrounded me with softness on all sides.

  She just held me in silence for a while before speaking again.

  “Are you feeling better? You were talking in your sleep…” The hesitation in her question flooded me with guilt, and I turned to face her properly. She adjusted to allow me the room, and once we were both lying down again, I pressed a hand to her cheek and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. A cute note of surprise escaped her before she sunk into the embrace.

  “I’m sorry.” I said with a small smile once I pulled away. “I think… I’m ready to talk about it now. I don’t want to struggle alone anymore… I can’t.” I ran a finger through her red hair and met her sapphire gaze.

  “You don’t need to.”

  A while later, our quiet morning came to an end when Leah entered the room, our outfits for the day in hand. With practiced motions, she helped us get dressed.

  “Leah, will you arrange a meeting with everyone?” She met my gaze in the mirror as she finished doing my hair and nodded.

  “Of course.” Ever the perfect attendant she didn’t even ask for details, and I trusted her to make the proper arrangments. Following her out of the room, Audrey and I broke off as we passed one of the courtyards… It the was same one we had fought in a few days before.

  “I’ll return shortly, my ladies.” Leah said with a smile.

  “Just call for us when you’re ready.” Audrey said. “We’ll come through the shadows.” I sensed her stella circulate, and then Leah’s shadow darkened against the ground.

  “Understood.”

  With that, my lady-in-waiting left us alone, and Audrey and I sat in the flowering courtyard side-by-side with our hands intertwined. The silence was comfortalbe, and the only interupttion was the slight breeze that rusteled the colorful bushes and petals that surrounded us.

  I laid my head on my girlfriend’s shoulder and let out a quiet sigh.

  “I’m proud of you, Dia. You’re making the right choice.” Azure’s bright voice filled my thoughts, and I turned my focus inward.

  “I’m still terrified.” I admitted. The resolve to move forward filled me, but I knew it would require me to take a few very painful steps back.

  “I know.” My goddess comforted. “But it will be worth it. You’ll grow not only as a person, but even more so as my divine guardian.”

  I already felt the change inside myself. Heat radiated from the depths of my soul… All I needed to do was take this final step.

  Glancing down, I saw the golden braclet that wrapped around my wrist glint in the late morning sunlight. The reminder of my Mother had quickly become one of my most important treasures, and the metal felt warm against my skin. Just a bit more…

  As I mentally prepared myself, I felt Audrey move and I looked up to see silver cracking through the blue of her eyes.

  “Leah’s calling.”

  “That was quick.” I muttered, my hope for even a few more minutes dashed before I could realize it was even there. Audrey waiting patiently as I sat up and fixed my hair. “We shouldn’t make them wait.”

  With that, Audrey pulled me into her shadows. Despite the lack of sunlight or sky, I always felt just as comfortable in my girlfriends realm as I did outside. The place being full of Auora’s power, and by extension, Audrey’s, probably was the reason.

  There wasn’t even time to verbalize my thoughts before we emerged from the space between shadows, appearing right behind Leah who stood just in front of the door to Luke’s office.

  “My ladies have arrived.” leah annouced to the room of people already looking at us.

  “Clearly.” Abel smirked.

  Aside from my brothers and Leah, there was also Lucia, Simon, Isaac, Yuzuki, and Sasha. Koyuki was curled up on a soft looking pet bed in the corner of the office, seemingly exhausted from earlier exercise. When did that happen? I wondered as I watched her snooze away peacefully.

  “You’ve got a bed for her?” I raised a brow at Luke, who sat behind his desk buried in paperwork as usual, though his attention was soley on me.

  “Your adorable wolf has endeared herself to the entire castle while you weren’t looking.” My brother said with a quiet laugh. “That is not the only bed for her.”

  “What a troublesome pup.” I said fondly, causing all my closest friends and family to chuckle. However, after the moment passed, Luke urged me forward.

  “But that is not why we are here, right?” My brother continued.

  “No… It’s not.” I said wryly, moving to sit on one of the free spots on the couch. Sasha moved over to make room for me and her sister until only my attendents remained standing. I clasped my hands together on my lap and looked down, anxious now that the moment was finally here.

  Audrey’s hand laid over mine, her reassuring touch doing wonders to calm my nerves. Taking a calming breath, I finally began to speak.

  “I have been having nightmares.” That first sentence seemed to burn my throat, but once the words were out, it was like a dam had burst inside me. “I-I see everyone I love dead, and I can’t help but blame myself. It feels as if everything that’s happened is my fault… Because I couldn’t save Mother and Father.”

  “Lydia…” Luke murmered, his eyes wide as I spoke.

  “I-I know it’s unreasonable!” I bit my lip, trying to stop the burning tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. “But it’s how I feel… How I’ve been feeling ever since it happened. The possibility that things could’ve been different burns at me every second.”

  The room fell silent, and at first I thought it was because nobody knew how to respond.

  “I understand.” It was Abel who spoke first. “I still see them. Every time I close my eyes, I see the countless soliders who lost their lives under my command on the frontline.” He took a deep breath to compose himself. “I’m haunted by their sacrifices.”

  “The citizens who died still call my name.” Luke said next once Abel was done. “It was my responsibility to evacuate the city… but I couldn’t save everyone.”

  My brothers stood up from their seats and moved to me, kneeling and taking one of my hands each.

  “Lydia… Regardless of the truth, we carry the guilt.” Luke said gently. “I will not tell you to not blame yourself, or that it wasn’t your fault… Only you get to decide that. But as long as you carry these feelings… We will bear that burden alongside you.”

  “We’ll keep on as we always have.” Abel said with grin. “Supporting each other, even if we’re in hell together.”

  “Thank you.” I sniffled through my tears, feeling the warmth of their hands encompassing mine. An arm wrapped around my shoulder, and a I felt the soft lips of my girlfriend touch my cheek.

  “And of course, I will always be by your side… you can tellme anytime it becomes to much. Sometimes just talking about it can help… I know it did for me.” she said, putting her head on my shoulder.

  “As your attendants it’s our duty to support you in every way.” Leah said, and Lucia and Simon nodded their heads in agreement before she continued. “And as your closest friends, we will be there for you.”

  “Of course we will.” Isaac chimed in with a smile.

  “Sister Lydia, I may not be able to do much, but I want to help you as you’ve helped me.” Sasha said a bit nervously, like I would reject her offer.

  The overwhelming show of support made me feel better immediately. How childish… Just a few words from them makes my struggles feel so small… so conquerable.

  “Sometimes all someone needs is to hear it aloud.” Azure chimed in my head. “I shouldn’t need to express my desire to help you heal… But I’ll say it anyway. Lydia, my guardian, I will always be listening.”

  I basked in the warmth of my friends and family for a while until the atmosphere was blown away by the office doors being thrown open.

  “I shall offer my assitance as well!” The irritating voice of Saintess Vivian made me frown, and everyone else in the room just stared at her in shock. “I heard everything.”

  “You were eavesdropping?” I asked with annoyance. “You do realize this is a private meeting, right?”

  “It was coincedental.” she brushed me off with a shrug. “I wanted to discuss something with Prince Luke, and felt the will of god urge me to listen through the door.”

  “So you were just curious.” I stated, but she ignored me.

  “I’ve traveled the continent, rendering aid to those in need. While the majority of my work is healing physical wounds, The church does also recongize that some scars are not visible.” She held a hand to her chest, her forest-green hair swaying with the motion over her shoulders. “I do not mean to be prideful, but I’ve helped many people overcome their mental trauma.”

  The room fell silent at her words until my brother rubbed his chin in thought.

  “Therapy, huh? Maybe it’s not a bad idea… for all of us.”

  “You can’t be serious…” I muttered in response, leaning back on the couch and sighing.

  ***

  The last few days passed quickly before the new Kingdom of Venyth officially went to war against the empire once more, and that warm moment in the office soon felt like a dream as we were all seperated once more.