The loud and violent eruption woke me from my sleep. The sound of wood being ripped apart by the weight of the structure it was supporting was deafening. I scrambled out of bed, landing on my feet on a floor that was already tilting.
Pakura was supposed to take the second watch with the assistance of my lanterns. Something had clearly gone wrong, as the entire castle I was sleeping in just a moment ago was now moving. Despite what Hayao Miyazaki says, castles are not meant to be mobile.
The obvious question of "why" came to mind, followed by the memory of how I had scoffed at the castle's design when I first arrived. The giant gorge next to the castle filled my mind as the room began to tilt sideways. With no time to think, I flung myself out the window and landed on the wall of the neighboring tower, which was quickly becoming horizontal.
Looking around, I saw my lanterns still bobbing in the air, but also saw the castle grounds rising above me. I was currently falling into the chasm while riding a tumbling tower. Searching all around, I couldn’t find Pakura anywhere, and I knew what I had to do.
Leaping back into my room, I double-kicked open my bedroom doors and landed on the hallway walls. Shooting a bandage out of my arm, I used it to fling myself forward down the crumbling hall. I dodged flying debris and rushed down the free-falling structure towards Lady Chi’s room, which was initially near the top of the tower but was now plummeting towards the valley floor below.
Slamming into her bedroom door, I saw Pakura on top of Chi, holding a kunai ready to stab the young lady. Pakura snapped her head towards me and threw the kunai while charging at me from behind the oncoming projectile. Trusting my bandages, I pushed past the kunai as if it weren't there and did the same to Pakura.
Tagging the Sand kunoichi with one of my bandages, I grabbed Chi, who was screaming gibberish at me, saying how her “body moved like it had a mind of its own.” I filed that away for later and dodged Pakura's follow-up attack while jumping out the window. That is when I saw her: another ninja, wearing a rabbit mask and a cloak, was making a hand sign I recognized. It belonged to the Nara clan, and it told me everything I needed to know about who was attacking.
With a practiced motion, the Rabbit-masked ninja threw a few shuriken at me. Using my bandages, I protected Chi by wrapping her up like a mummy. The stars bounced off me harmlessly, and from the impacts I felt on my back, the ones Pakura threw bounced off me, too.
Shooting out another bandage, I attached it to the valley wall and leaped, pulling Pakura along with me. The tower crashed into the water below, creating a geyser that I used to hide my movements. Finding a suitable cave that would just barely fit the three of us, I yanked on the bandage connecting me to Pakura, flinging her up to me, and placed wards around the entrance to obscure our presence.
“All the gods above, those old geezers are really trying to kill me,” Chi said, hyperventilating. “Okay, okay, fine, Pakura, you win. I’ll start negotiating for a peace deal. Just get me out of here,” she said in a panic.
“Sounds great. Until then,” I placed two fingers on the young lady’s forehead, and in less than a second, she was asleep again. “Where did you say the rest of the castle staff was?”
“Out at sea for their safety. The castle only had a skeleton crew,” Pakura said in a somber tone.
I looked down at the castle's wreckage. “Well, they're skeletons now. Okay, here's the plan. As you could probably tell, that was the Shadow Possession Jutsu.”
“Which means Leaf ninja. I thought your people liked you,” she snarked.
“What can I say? Countries like war heroes, but they love martyrs more.” I turned to face her. “You get your client to safety; I’ll stall. They are more likely to pull their punches with me.”
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“Why do you think that? If they tried to kill you once, wouldn't they just try again?”
“They didn’t trigger the lanterns, which means they never entered the castle grounds.” Pakura looked at me like my words didn’t make sense. “They can claim they didn’t know I was here and that it was an accident. They used some rockslide jutsu to destroy the castle. I was just going to be a tragic, accidental casualty. Friendly fire happens all the time in war.”
“Do you seriously believe that?” She said skeptically.
“I believe that was what they planned to claim. If I put myself in front of them, it means that if they want to try again, they will have to send away anyone who hasn't been ordered to kill me. Most likely, they will be ordered to either chase you down or head back to message the village while they ‘confirm’ my identity. Or, all of them have been ordered to kill me and not just one or two.”
“Who in your village wants to kill you?”
“Oh, let’s not get into that. Just escape to another Sand base with the girl and hope that your Kazekage hasn’t put a kill-on-sight order on you.”
“So much for your brilliant plan,” Pakura said as she leaped away.
I watched her use the cracks in the rocks and shadows in the moonlight to scale the wall. "Thank you, Amon," I muttered sarcastically under my breath. "It was so cool that you saved me and my client. Because of your help, I’m alive, and peace is still possible in the region. If I weren’t a lesbian, I would totally be into you."
I used chakra threads to trigger the recall of the lanterns and watched as they came closer, down into the chasm. I purposely manipulated the lights to hide Pakura’s movements within the shadows and walked out in clear view of any attackers. “Hello!” I shouted out to the valley. “I appreciate the wake-up call, but I think next time you don’t need as much gusto.”
“Wait, Amon? Is that really you?” a younger voice rang out from the darkness.
“That’s Lord Amon to you,” I said, giving the coded response. I wasn’t really a lord, so anyone trying to impersonate me wouldn’t think to call myself that. A short ANBU member in a horse mask appeared in front of me. “Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?”
“I’m not short! You're just tall. I’ll get taller,” the kid said defensively. He was lying; I presented myself to people as perfectly average height, and he was at least a head shorter than I. My silence threw the kid off because he kept talking. “Sorry about the attack, sir. We didn’t know you were here. We saw the lanterns, of course, but we thought—”
“Stop talking, Horse,” another ANBU member appeared, this one wearing a rooster mask.
“Yes, sir.”
“Don’t worry, kid,” I made a show of winking at Horse. “He’s just upset that you said ‘we.’ You revealed multiple members. Not that big of an issue, seeing as I already saw Rabbit earlier, and now Rooster reveals himself. Should I expect Cow to make an appearance?”
Rooster clicked his tongue in annoyance at my comment. Either he didn’t like that I had just pointed out they were at least a three-man team, or I had accidentally guessed there was a fourth member hiding. Either way, his tongue click revealed he wasn’t Root; Danzo didn’t train ninjas, he mentally programmed them, and showing a sign of frustration like that was against their programming. Feeling out with my senses told me he didn’t have a seal placed on his tongue.
“How’s Rabbit? I didn’t get the chance to see if she made it out okay.”
Horse made to answer, but Rooster cut in. “Why are you here, Amon?”
Looking at the man and listening to the disdain in his voice, I started thinking. He didn't like me, and that was before he tried to bury me alive. That told me he was a member of a major clan; looking at his more physical build gave me a clue. With those clues, I felt out for the summoning scroll I suspected he had and was not disappointed to find it in his pouch on his lower back.
“Careful how you speak to me, Inuzuka.” Rooster was taken aback by me guessing his identity, and I could tell Horse was shocked and impressed. The way the kid was looking at me, I could tell through the kid's mask that I looked like a rock star to him. “If you must know, Hiruzen sent me out here. There was a matter of importance that he wanted rectified quickly. I was handling it until you lot attacked me, even though I sent my lanterns out to signal I was here.”
“It could have been a trick,” Rooster said with a lot less confidence. Saying Hiruzen’s first name and telling them I was out here on his orders really shook them up. The Inuzuka just realized he could be in a lot of trouble and was scrambling for an excuse. “We will have to confirm—”
Rooster didn’t get the chance to finish as his body moved against his will, along with Horse's. Both of them jumped and grabbed me. I could now see a shadow stretching out from a large chunk of debris, and using the light I was casting with my lanterns, it had caught onto the two of them.
A man with a bull mask was making hand signs, and the next second, wind blades started slashing out. I didn’t have time. Horse and Rooster had clung to my arms, and the Wind Blade user was skilled. Just before the blades hit, the shadows detached from the two helpless men, and my vision was coated in red.
