A crossbow bolt lodged itself into my shoulder, punched right through the mail. What the hell’s the point of armor, if it ’t stop a crossbow bolt? There were six of them, little green guys. With just one of me, the math was easy — I was royally screwed.

  Oh, shit, let me back up. Let’s get some text first. I am writing this after some time. Let me think.

  So, it’s game night.

  I had my physical character sheet, and di front of me. I must have just set my big gulp down. I adjusted my trilby. Yes I know it’s ge — and we’ll address it in a moment. We were pying a Table-Top Role Pying Game, and it was our third session of the neaign. I was excited to really dig into a night of sying monsters, and pying pretend.

  Asher was behind his huge-ass dungeon master s, a massive wooden triptych of a dragon that obscured him from his shoulders down. His hands kept flying over the top of it whealked. He retty good guy and ran a great game.

  Most everyone else had their dice, and their sheets on their phones. I guess I liked to keep it old school.

  “Hey, Zachary, what the fuck is that hat, man?” Bere asked. She was the , not even out of school yet, tiny, and from Kansas City. She seemed cute in a ‘theater kid’ kind of way with her bck turtlenecks and big brown eyes. I don’t know why, but she decided to sit o me instead of Sofia, whht her.

  She turned out to be a fantastic role pyer though, good with character voices, ahusiastibsp; Her character was an Assassin Rogue named Shade, and proved surprisingly bloodthirsty.

  “It’s a trilby,” I replied, as if that expi, aured to my baby blue bowling shirt. “It’s a Ska thing.”

  “Is Ska still relevant?” Rachel asked with a ed frown. She was sort of my only friend that was a girl ba the Texas town we grew up in. We hadn’t pyed in a long time. It was o have her back.

  Stoes that she had to drop out of school to support her family, and we didn’t get to see her mubsp; She worked at an auto parts pow, and refused to wear anything other than baggy clothes and a nit cap to cover her greasy pink hair.

  I was finally starting to develop a style of my own, so I could use a little less judgment from her.

  Her character was a Starbound Barbarian named Oriana, and the tank of the party. Rachel was a good hang.

  “It’s ing back,” I said.

  “Let’s hope,” Rachel shrugged.

  “The maablishing his personal style,” Caleb said. “Let him be.”

  Caleb was cool. He was a, and he was dating Sofia, so I at least appreciated that he was able to get her at the table with us. The man was bck, from Dals, and sculpted like a Greek god. Most of us imagined ourselves as better looking in the game. He didn’t have to. Though I guess I was a couple ialler, so I had that going for me at least.

  We’d vinced him to roll up a Code of Justice Padin named Caleb (yeah he was that kind of guy) and he seemed to be having a bst so far.

  “Thanks Caleb,” I said.

  He just wi me. Man I wish I could pull off a pyful wink.

  “The hat’s bad,” Mark said.

  Oh yeah. Mark was there too. I don’t know what to tell you about Mark. He pyed a Wizard. I think his name was Almer or something. He was just a guy I knew from work, same as Asher. He worked IT, and I worked sales.

  Sofia reached across the table, ripped the hat off my head and tossed it across the room. Everyone cheered. I smiled despite myself. I could feel the red creeping in. Fuck, I hated when I got flushed. My cheeks got all splotchy.

  Sofia just smiled and blew me a kiss. She pyed a Sorceress of the Void named Inara. Despite g to not uand the game very well, she was really good at pig the right spell during bat.

  More on Sofia ter.

  “Thank god that’s over,” Asher said. “Now y without that goddamn thing in my field of view.”

  “Fuck you, Asher.”

  “I think I heard, ‘fuck you, oh kind and benevolent DM,’” he replied.

  I flipped him the bird.

  We jumped right into the recap of st week’s game then pyed for a couple of hours. It was great. I usually had a hard time getting into rolepy so having Bere o me was nice because she was so good. She pushed me to jump in, when I’d rather hang babsp; I was really more into bat, but it was fun to py make-believe too.

  Oh, I pyed a Fighter. More on that ter too.

  Throughout the game, anytime Sofia spoke, I found it hard to look anywhere else. She had a smarmy way of talking, her mouth curved up on one side in a smile that showed her white teeth like she was fighting not to ugh. On anyone else, it would have been annoying. I didn’t find it annoying.

  I tried not to stare at her when she wasn’t talking and I think I did a heroic job of it. I only looked at her half as much as I wao.

  Like I said, I admired Caleb. He’s a good guy. It wasn’t his fault his girlfriend was the most beautiful woman in every room she walked in. And I’m sure he gets it.

  At first break, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. We had a standing rule not to drink alcohol before then. Drink too much too early, and the whole game falls apart.

  Sofia brushed past me to snag a bottle of wine from the fridge. She smelled like warm cookies.

  How? Why? Girls, man, what the hell.

  She pushed her long bck hair over a shoulder and twisted the top of the wine off with fluid, mesmerizing movements.

  Get it together, Zach, you asshole. You’re not here for her. It’s game night.

  “I’m actually having a lot of fun,” she said, her voice like a song that made your heart go all goddamn topsy-turvy.

  “Yeah, you’re doing really well. That subtle spelled suggestion on the Goblin Chief was a brilliant py.”

  I took a sip of beer. I hoped it would get me to chill the hell out.

  “Well, yeah that stuff’s easy,” she said. “I’m not sure I get the ‘rolepy’ part though. Not like Bernie.”

  “Yeah, well, nobody is as good as Bernie.”

  Sofia shrugged and took a swig right from the bottle.

  “How e you never invited me to py ba high school?”

  “I— ah, I didn’t think you’d say yes. This kind of game wasn’t really cool in high school. You think you’d have actually gone for it?”

  “Probably not. But you’ll never kher way, huh?”

  Caleb walked in. She offered him the bottle. He took it, gave her a kiss, and made a small sip.

  “Easy on the wihere,” she said to Caleb, eyes shining with affe.

  “I just had a sip.”

  “You know white wis you white girl wasted.”

  “I just had a sip,” he repeated, kissing her on the cheek. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other in high school,” he stated, turning to me, seemingly a little embarrassed at the PDA.

  “Yeah,” I said. “We were sort of in the same circles.”

  “‘Same circles,’” Sofia ughed, “we both made State Choir, but he was too chi shit to talk to me.”

  “Hey,” I said. “I talked to you plenty.”

  “Mhmm.”

  “Alright,” Caleb said with a shrug.

  Mark walked in and spoke.

  “Asher says it’s time.”

  “Thanks Mark,” I said.

  On my way back to the table, Rachel hooked my elboulled me into the pantry.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Yeah, hey, listen.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Yeah, you’re being creepy around Sofia.”

  “No, I’m not?”

  “Hey, look,” she gestured to herself, “certified girl here. You’re being gross. She’s probably the coolest addition tame night, and I don’t want you to scare her off.”

  “How would I do that?”

  Rachel pantomimed resting her on her hand and gazing forlornly.

  “I don’t do that,” I said more defehan I’d like.

  “You’re also not letting her make her own mistakes. That’s part of the fun.”

  “Right.”

  “Get it together.”

  “Right,” I said, trying to sound serious. I didn’t want to scare Sofia away. And I didn’t want to disappoint my friend. “Got it.”

  “Good,” she said, rolling her eyes and walking out of the pantry.

  I took a deep breath to settle my nerves, exhaled, then followed.

  When I got back, Asher was just setting down a strange book.

  Look, you probably see where this is going. Asher found a book in his atti a previous tenant. It had a strange intation in it. He reads from it. Lightning, thunder, swirling blue mist.

  Bh bh bh, magic fug portal opens up.

  Here is the really wild thing. Sofia takes one look at that portal and says:

  “What, yonna make me go first?”

  Then she just gets up and runs through it, bd purple sundress fluttering behind her. Poof. Gone.

  The door was still there. We all looked at each other in stunned silenbsp;

  The blue door hovered in space, crag quietly with eldritch electricity.

  Caleb stood.

  “Should I?” His voice trailed off as he looked at the mystical door. “Is this some kind of trick?” he looked to Asher.

  Asher shook his head, his eyes wild.

  Caleb walked up to the door, said ‘what the hell’ and stuck his arm in. Something behind it, or more likely the door itself, grabbed him and pulled him in.

  Rachel stood from her seat and rushed to look behind the door.

  “Yeah it sure does look like a magic fug portal.”

  Nobody talked. I worked my jaw and tried to get my brain to process what was happening, but I just sat in my spot like an idiot.

  Rachel walked around to the front of the door but didn’t walk through yet.

  Mark stood, brushed past her, and fell into the door, plopping into nothingness. Rachel shook her head, made a couple hesitant movements, a after him.

  Asher looked at me. I looked at Bere. Bere shrugged.

  “Asher,” I finally said, “I know your family doesn’t have ‘cgi a magic door in your house’ kind of money, but did you happen to witery tely?”

  “No,” he said.

  “Well, damn. What’s that then?”

  Bere stood and grabbed my hand.

  “We got to go after her, yeah?”

  I shrugged. She pulled me standing. I was damn near a foot taller than her. If I wao stay here, there wasn’t anything she could do about it.

  But I also didn’t want to look like I was scared, so I grabbed my character sheet, and I followed her.

  We ran through the portal together.

  Blue emptiness stretched out in front of us as we tumbled through the portal. I tried to keep a good grasp of her hand. No wind, no sound, just the sensation of tumbling and of great forces w on us, trying to pull us apart.

  Then I noticed her clothes. They were much like the clothes she’d been wearing but now all medieval-ified. Instead of a thin bck turtleneck, she had a kind of leather coat held together with straps and buckles. On her leg were strapped several braces of knives.

  I looked down at myself and saw a baby blue tabard over mail.

  We started to spin. Bere ughed wordlessly. I grabbed her hand with my other hand but it was too mubsp; We spun apart and I tumbled off into the blue void without her.

  Then, suddenly, it was all over.

  I was on my stoma the middle of a dirt road.

  I pushed myself up just enough to look around. Simple dirt road, forest of evergreens, clear blue sky. I could be anywhere.

  In front of me was a longsword stu the dirt point first o a wooden shield. Beside me was a strange belt with rge pouches. I sat up. I grabbed the belt and buckled it around my baby blue tabard.

  The tabard was the exact same color as my shirt had been. Odd for sure.

  The mail was heavy. Made standing awkward, but I ma.

  I grabbed the shield first. Ihe shield was a series of metal rings I guessed was for the sword. It had a long strap. I put the sword in the shield, and swung the strap on my back.

  I started walking.

  It is remarkable the things you will e to accept when the evidence be touched and smelled—experienced. I khat this was all crazy and that I shouldn’t accept it as reality, but the shield on my back felt solid. The dirt on the road dusted up exactly the way dirt should.

  I could smell the evergreens caught on the wind. The heat beat down from the sun. I began to sweat.

  This was my life now. Once, I ying a game with my friends, and noalking on a dirt road in some kind of ren-faire, live a role py bullshit.

  I could stop and scream at my situation — that it wasn’t real. But that didn’t make me any less lost. That didn’t make the feeling of the mail on my shoulders any less real.

  So, I walked.

  After some time, I got hungry. I sat down on a fallen log o the road and dug through my pack. It wasly the items I had on my character sheet, but it was close:

  The belt had a small knife in a sheath, and a waterskin. o that was a scroll case.

  One pouch had flint and tinder, plus a ball of string. The had several dles and a taper. Two pouches were filled with rations — mostly hardtack, cheese, and dried fruit. The st pouch with anything in it was a strange crystal ste a little bigger than my hand.

  I unplugged the waterskin and drank. It was warm, but what I needed. I ate some of the cheese and fruit, but left the hardtack alone.

  Hunger satisfied, I turned around and pissed into the bush. I watched the branches dan the wind. If there was any doubt whether this was real or not, the piss made it clear. Nobody dreamed about pissing in a bush.

  The crystal ste I had put on the log o me. I opehe scroll case and found a fancy version of my character sheet. I nodded like this made sense.

  The crystal ste lit up. The letters ‘DM’ and the number ‘3’ were in a box very much like a text notification. I swiped the notification and the s fshed to life.

  DM: Wele to the world beyond the Blue Door — Vesperalis!

  DM: I am your DM, and guide to this world. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to message this chat!

  DM: You also have access to a digital character sheet, a map, and a quest log from this ste. Other features are forthing.

  This was iing. When I ran through the door, I had had my smart phone in my pocket. The rules of this new pce didn’t make se, but maybe the smartphone became this thing in the same way my clothes became armor?

  I texted this ‘DM’ back.

  Beznik: Is this Asher?

  I immediately got a response.

  DM: No

  “Hmm,” I said to nobody in particur, ahe ste face down.

  My hands went to the physical character sheet iube, and I slid it out to give it a gnbsp; The most important information was my ability score stat line. The abbreviations were pretty self expnatory. o the score was its appropriate modifier in parentheses.

  Beznik of the Red Hand the level 2 human Fighter

  Hit Points 19, Armor Css 18 (mail, shield)

  STR 11 (+0) DEX 9 (-1) 13 (+1)

  INT 13 (+1) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 14 (+2)

  Items: Adventurers’ Kit (used), mail, Longsword, Shield

  Abilities from Fighter: Adrenaline Rush (170% time dition, double movement speed) and Sed ce (Twice per day heal +25% HP)

  Skills: History, Persuasion, Social Drinking

  Most of the page was bnk. Apparently, I was a human now, not a Dwarf. Made sense. But the stat line was wrong. It was much worse than what I had picked a couple weeks ago.

  I put my character sheet ba the tube, and picked up the ste.

  There was an i like a scroll — I figured that was my character sheet — an i like a map that seemed self expnatory, an i like with a quill and ihat i guessed was the quest log, and an i like an envelope with a red ‘2’ o it, that I guessed was my messages.

  My fiapped the messages before I could stop myself.

  There were three message groups. Ohat was simply named ‘DM’ that I had already read. One he Adventuring Party’ with the number ‘6’ o it, and a st ohat was named ‘Saviors of the World I Guess’ with the number ‘11’ o it. I clicked on the oh less unread messages. As soon as I read it my pulse quied.

  “The Adventuring Party”

  DM: Please use this chat for party messages!

  Inara: Is ahere?

  Inara: I’m not sure we should trust this new DM

  Inara: Wow this world is amazing! The people here are fasating

  60 years ago

  read

  DM: please do not make any new chat threads. This is the official chat thread of the adventuring party.

  59 years ago

  read

  Inara: I am so alone

  50 years ago

  read

  Inara — that was Sofia’s character. Sixty years ago. The messages said that she got here sixty years ago. No way that was right. Must be some mistake. She couldn’t have been here, alone, fighting god knows what by herself for sixty years.

  I quickly clicked the st message group.

  “Saviors of the World I Guess”

  Caleb: I don’t trust this DM

  Caleb: So I made a new chat thread for us

  30 years ago

  Caleb: I ’t find Sofia

  29 years ago

  Caleb: Man this world is fucked up

  Caleb: I got to do something about it

  25 years ago

  Ailmer: hey Caleb

  Caleb: Well met, Mark. You have a lot to catch up on.

  Caleb: Sending an update directly

  10 Years ago

  Oriana: Aw hell. Are those time stamps right?

  Ailmer: They are. Sending you a message

  5 years ago

  Shade: Well, shit

  1 week ago

  I was suddenly furious. It was ohing to accept that I was in a new world with new clothes and a sword. It was something else to think that my friends had gotten here five years — twenty five years ahead of me. That made no goddamn sense. I started typing before I could think to stop myself.

  Beznik: This ’t be right.

  I got a response immediately.

  Shade: it is

  Beznik: is Sofia in this chat

  Ailmer: Caleb added her when he made this group

  Beznik: Good. Do you know where she is?

  Ailmer: No

  Oriana: We have bigger problems right now

  Beznik: the fuck we do

  1 min ago

  My hands shoved the ste in one of the pouches before I could text anything else. I made sure that all the rest of the stuff was secure, then marched down the road.

  I had no idea what to do , but I wasn’t gonna sit here and listen to that shit. I was gonna find Sofia.

  Something rumbled in my poubsp; I stopped, and looked in the pouch with my ste. It glowed. I ig, and tinued marg. The pouch rumbled again.

  “Jesus,” I spat.

  I stopped and pulled out the ste. Two messages from Bere.

  Shade: stop walking

  Shade: you idiot, you’re about to run into a band of goblins

  I shoved the ste ba my poud looked up.

  Six little greeood about twenty paces down the road. One of them raised a curious item, almost like a gun.

  A crossbow bolt lodged itself into my shoulder.