Despite having established their sentience. The lamnotta’s road to full acceptance in the wider world was a long and often difficult road. Many scholars attempted to explain away their supposed intelligence as a fluke, laying down the claim that the “intelligent” lamnotta of Ouz was nothing more than a dungeon born aberration that had escaped its confines. It took repeated thaumic measurements of multiple specimens all returning baseline readings before the findings were finally given credibility; a previously unknown sapient species really had been living no more than a stone's throw from our own doorstep.

  -Excerpt from “We Are All One: A History of The Lamnotta”-

  Joe’s handshaker ripped through the chitin of the giant spider with a sound like tearing wet cloth. The smell wasn't as bad as the chemical waste smell when the mimic popped, but it still made his gag reflex trigger. It was a-hundred-dead-skunks-left-in-a-hot-car bad, and Joe was about at his limit with it. The slain monster's fellows closed in around him, forcing Joe backwards until he butted up with Micah's back. Sparing a glance over his shoulder, Joe could see the young minotaur wasn't fairing much better.

  Just as many of the skittery nightmares pressed Micah into Joe. The young fighter was managing to hold them off, but Joe could already see the poison the spiders had managed to inject Micah with was starting to take effect. Fuck, he's going to need an antidote soon or were all finished.

  “Joe! Eyes forward!” Jill's timely warning saved him from a nasty bite as Joe managed to twist out of the way just in time to miss a lunging spider. The creature was inside his weapons range, leaving Joe with little option other than to punch it in its bulbous abdomen.

  “Thanks Jill” Joe yelled out without looking at his other companion. If they could keep the spiders distracted long enough for her to put herself back together, then they might just get out of this alive. His foe made another lunge at Joe. However, by that point Joe had choked up on his handshaker, and was able to drive it back with the shaft of his weapon. With the monster now forced further out, he was finally able to skewer it on the point of his new weapon.

  The dungeon seemed to have taken their comments from last time to heart, and this adventure had not gone as smoothly as their last one. Instead of a relatively benign abandoned mine followed by a sterile space station, the dungeon this time had taken on the appearance of a ruined temple complete with giant insects and lots of deadly traps. So far they had fought water bugs the size of crocodiles, clouds of hawk sized mosquitoes, and a single praying mantis big enough that Joe almost pissed himself.

  And now we've got fucking giant spiders, i swear if we run into scorpions next, I'm just throwing in the towel Joe thought bitterly to himself as he severed the legs of another giant arachnid. The beast took exception to Joe doing that, and did its utmost to avenge itself before bleeding out. Joe hissed as he felt the sharp stabs of its fangs sinking into his calf before the whole area went numb as the creature's poison began to circulate through his veins.

  Fuck, well, now I'm on a timer too. I swear if Micah ever says a dungeon is too easy again, I'm gonna punch him in the mouth. Joe lost this concentration for a critical moment. Putting too much weight on his numb leg, the unresponsive limb collapsed, pitching him to the ground with a swear. No sooner had his back hit the dirt than a new assailant piled on top of him. Joe's hands were pinned under his handshaker, and he was not able to get them out in time to prevent the creature from biting down on his shoulder.

  Pain, followed by a terrible numbness radiated out from the wound. Joe knew he had only seconds left to react. Before he could however, the air above him ignited in eyebrow scorching heat. The spider that had been poised to deliver the killing blow thrashed madly as its carapace fried and the flesh inside began to boil. In an instant it was over and Joe was able to push the corpse off of him.

  “ Thanks again, Jill,” he panted, trying and failing to sit up. Already his limbs felt numb, and it was only a matter of time before the poison worked its way to his heart. Jills spell had charred the few remaining spiders, leaving them the pyrrhic victors of the battle.

  Jill wasn’t fairing much better, but she’d at least gotten her arms back on. When the spiders had realized their poison didn’t work on the lamnotta they’d resorted to tearing the woman apart. Admittedly this had only been a minor inconvenience to her, but it had been enough of a distraction to keep her out of the fight while she put herself together. Now she crawled over, trailing bits of her tattered armor and undershirt behind her. She’d clearly prioritized reforming her arms, but as Joe watched, the little comet tail of blobs that were following her reconnected at the stump of her torso and began extending backwards, filling out the shape of legs like water in a mold.

  Jill made it to Joe and Micah in surprisingly short order considering her condition and fished around in Joe’s bag. “We will need to return to our cache to resupply after this,” she stated in her inflection less monotone voice. By now Joe couldn’t move, so was unable to respond. Jill sorted out Micah first before moving on to Joe, tipping the contents of one of his potions down his throat and sitting him up as best she could.

  While it was a blessing to be able to move, it also meant that Joe could now feel all his stab wounds. The spider's fangs had been less needle-like and more dagger-style, leaving large bleeding holes in his hide. “Son of a bitch,” Joe swore with feeling and got a grunt of agreement from his minotaur companion.

  “Days like this make me wish I’d become a tax consultant like my father.” Micah grumbled, rolling his shoulder before accepting the healing potion from Jill and knocking it back.

  Joe spluttered on his own potion, but got enough of it down for his wounds to start closing. While not the ideal way to use a healing potion, straight ingestion was the most immediately useful for all around repairs. “Is your dad really a tax consultant?”

  “Yep, works out of Smithport. Not what he wanted to do, but it paid the bills and fed his family.” Micah gave a shrug and a smile. “He was so excited when I told him I got into Greatfalls. I really need to go see him and mom sometime soon.”

  “Maybe once this semester is over we can spend the break there.” Jill suggested. The last of her blobs had gotten to her and reformed her legs, so she stood up and went to find her pants. Joe didn’t realize that when he turned to ask her a question and got an uninterrupted view of her backside. His face immediately flushed hotly and he looked away. He hoped Micah hadn’t seen him do that, but from the snicker behind him he knew he’d been caught. A moment later Micah spoke up.

  “You’re fine Joe.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t realize she’d-”

  Micah waved his apology away. “You weren’t leering, it was an accident.”

  “You never did finish telling us what happened with Minsk” Jill stated as she buckled her pants into place. If she’d overheard their conversation, she made no indication of it.

  Joe had to do a double take as he looked at the lamnotta. Her normally semi transparent green skin was shot through with writhing tendrils of browns and blacks. Even as he watched, the tendrils began to twist and ball up, slowly working their way to the surface before popping out like little black pearls.

  “Cleaning cycle,” Micah explained when he caught Joe’s horrified look. “She picked up a lot of dirt reforming herself and is just getting it out.”

  Jill nodded, “I would wait until we were in a safer place, but the impurities chafe and I do not want them to do any damage to my members.”

  Joe nodded, once again resolving to purchase more history and social studies books from Paul at his earliest convenience. With the way back to their potion cache clear, Joe spent the walk back filling in his companions on what had happened.

  <><><>

  Joe was busted the moment he stepped back through the door. While Moira didn’t challenge him right then and there, he could tell by the narrowing of her eyes that she’d noticed something in his bearing. Joe didn’t have long to wait though, because as soon as the trio of troublemakers scampered off to the basement Moira got it in one.

  “Minsk was out wasn’t he?” she asked, hands on her hips.

  Joe gave her a nod, then motioned up the stairs before answering her verbally. Without being asked Moira inserted herself into the cooking process, unloading and organizing the baskets contents while Joe filled her in. He debated for a moment whether or not to downplay the encounter, but something in his bones told him that Moira would know if he was doing that. Instead he went with nothing but the absolute truth. Moira did not seem at all surprised at the C’tahl’s antics.

  “I used to find his possessive streak endearing.” She sighed. “I thought it was a sign that he’d be devoted. That he’d put as much into our relationship as he obviously wanted me to.” Moira shook her head as she laid the baskets out on the dining table. “Fool of me to think that, but there you go.”

  “Not really foolish to assume that someone who said they loved you would treat you well.” Joe pointed out, bringing over the cutting board and knife. He’d bought a wedge of hard cheese and some dried sausages as an appetizer, something to keep everyone going while he whipped up the main dish. Joe’d meant to do the cutting himself, but when he got to the table Moira took the knife and board from him and set to work. She probably needs something to do with her hands Joe thought as he turned back towards the kitchen.

  “Yeah,” Moira’s voice was small when she answered, causing Joe to turn back to her. She glanced up at him, then down at the stairs. “Can I admit something to you Joe?” Her voice was no bigger in the question than it had been for her answer. Joe walked back over and wrapped his arms around her.

  “Of course, what is it?” He gave her a gentle squeeze as she laid her head back into his shoulder, staring up into the hanging lights above.

  “I wish I’d have never gotten tangled up with him.” She whispered, still looking up at the lights.

  Joe squeezed her again. “Sounds fair enough to me.” Not sure what the issue is with that, but clearly it’s bothering her.

  Moira glanced over at him. Not seeing what she expected in his eyes, she sighed and rotated in his arms until they were face to face. “You don’t get it,” she muttered looking down at his chest instead of up into his eyes. “I wish I'd never gotten involved with him. I, I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I’d just, if I’d just told him no.”

  Joe’s brain began to work in overdrive, desperately trying to figure out the angle he was missing. He bought time for himself by planting a kiss on the side of her head, which seemed to be appreciated. Finally something in his brain clicked and the pieces fell into place.

  “What it would be like if you’d never had to be a single mother.” Joe guessed, knowing he’d hit it with the way she tightened up in his arms.

  “Gods, it sounds so heartless.” Joe could hear the controlled sob in Moira’s voice now, could feel how tight her back was as he ran his hand in slow circles around it trying to sooth her. “She’s my daughter, I’m supposed to love her unconditionally. But I sometimes find myself fantasizing about being by myself again. Or what it would have been like to have waited until I’d found someone who’d have been there for me.” Moira pushed herself away from Joe, scrubbing at her eyes as she tried to look everywhere but at Joe. “It makes me feel like such a terrible mother, but I can’t help it sometimes. I just wish I’d been smarter back then and saw Minsk for what he was.”

  Joe gave her a minute to collect herself before responding. “I don’t think having regrets is a bad thing.” Moira looked up sharply, but before she could say anything he continued. “What he did was horrible, and regretting past decisions isn’t something that makes you a bad mother. I’ve seen how the two of you interact. You pour your heart and soul into raising Sarah, and even if she can be a bit of a pill sometimes.” This got a chuckle from Moira “She loves you too. A mother who truly despised her children would not treat them with the care and attention you treat Sarah with.”

  Moira used the hem of her dress to dab at her eyes. “Thanks Joe,” she croaked as she tried to compose herself. “I, I needed to hear that. Now let's make those girls their snack.”

  <><><>

  Joe wrapped up filling Micah and Jill in just as they got back to the dungeon entrance where they had stashed Joe’s potion overstock. The dungeon’s tropical environment, and the constant uphill climb meant that Joe was plastered in sweat by this point. His companions on the other hand looked as fresh as daisies despite having been subjected to the same conditions. He gave them a glare that they either didn’t notice or were polite enough to ignore.

  “So what did you make for dinner?” Micah asked as he took up a guard position at the rear of their group. While they’d not seen any new monsters on their way up, it didn’t pay to get lax.

  “Pizza” grunted Joe as he rummaged in his pack. “It’s a special dish my mother used to make. It was a good way of using up leftover vegetables and cuts of meat.” Joe’d had to make that story up on the fly when Moira’d asked him what “Pi’zah” was. It wasn’t inaccurate, back in his old life Joe’d used homemade pizza as an excuse to use up stuff around the house all the time. Sometimes they were great, and sometimes Mary had ordered Chinese. Thankfully the ones he’d made the girls that night were a hit.

  “It sounds like an interesting concept.” Jill said, watching Joe pick through the bottles. “I don’t think we need the water breathing potions, we should save the space for more antidotes.”

  Joe turned to look at her, eyebrow cocked and ready. “Really? There’s so many pools and running water in here this time, are you sure we won't have to swim?”

  Jill shook her head. “None of it has been more than waist deep, and the path hasn’t often required entering the water.”

  “What if something drags you under?”

  “Then you will not have time to drink a potion.”

  Joe couldn’t fault her logic there, so left the water breathing potions behind in favor of more antidotes. Thankfully the magic of the potion had proven effective on both animal and vegetable poisons. More than once on this excursion they’d been ambushed by what they’d mistaken for part of the scenery, only to discover almost too late that not only was the shrub/tree/field of daisies animate and hostile, but it was also poisonous.

  Getting his pack on was a bit of a chore, as they’d found a good amount of minor loot this run. “Man, can we leave some of this shit here too? I swear I’m carrying about twenty pounds in miscellaneous bits of vegetation and rocks.”

  “It wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Micah interjected, not taking his eyes off the pathway.

  “Wonderful, I’m doing it.” Joe said, instantly shrugging his pack back off and unloading as much of the magically knickknacks as he could. By the time he’d put his pack back on, there was a neatly stacked pile of branches, crystals, metal ores, and seeds about the size of a carry on bag. “Oh that feels so-” he was abruptly cut off by Micah raising a hand for silence.

  Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

  The minotaur narrowed his eyes, peering as best he could into the darkness. “Jill, can you bring the light around beside me? Don’t go in front though, I don’t want it ruining my night vision.”

  Joe wanted to ask what Micah had seen, but managed to remember in time he’d been gestured into silence. Instead he sidled up behind Jill and did his best to see what had gotten his companion so on edge. It didn’t take long to appear.

  Peeking out from around the corner, which only made it ten times as creepy, was the pale hand and face of a little girl. She was more solid than the last time Joe’d seen her, but wasn’t one hundred percent there. The mass of tangled vines that made up the walls of the dungeon could still be seen easily through her. Unlike the last time, the little girl didn’t disappear when it became obvious they were watching her. Instead she simply returned their gazes, face half obscured around the corner of the hallway.

  “That,” Micah said, not taking his eyes off the apparition, “is fucking creepy.”

  Joe likewise wasn’t willing to look away in case it did something worse than stare at them. “Well, what do you think we should do? It’s standing between us and the rest of the dungeon?”

  “Our options are somewhat limited.” Jill responded. She drew back her crossbow and fitted a new bolt into the groove. “We’ll have to fight our way past it.”

  While intellectually Joe recognized that the creature in front of them was not a little girl, emotionally he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything so violent as attack it. “Wait,” he said, holding up a hand to forestall Jill taking aim. “I’ve got an idea.” Before his companions could ask too many questions, Joe popped open a side pocket of his bag and dug around until he found what he was looking for. The handful of candies he produced looked like a cross between an M&M and a Tootise Pop. They were about the size of a pea, with translucent candy shells wrapped around a soft chocolate center. Joe had become quite partial to them during his time in his new home.

  Just before he chucked them down the corridor, Joe thought better of it and dumped them back into the small cloth bag he kept his supply in, chucking the whole bag instead towards the ghostly girl. I’ll have to buy more when I get back, but that’s better than having them go everywhere. He thought to himself as they watched what happened next.

  The little girl looked down at the spot the bag had landed for a moment before toddling out and picking it up. It still sported the same shapeless smock it’d worn the first time Joe had seen it and walked like it was still trying to figure out what legs were used for.

  “What the hell is that?” Micah whispered

  “I’m not entirely sure.” Jill responded. She no longer had her bow leveled at the creature, but the weapon was still cocked and in her hand. “Perhaps a Sylvan?”

  “Sylvan aren’t dungeon born creatures.” Micah blinked, looking unsure of himself for a moment. “Or, at least I don’t think they’re dungeon born.”

  By now the ghost girl had retrieved the bag. It shook it, seeming to enjoy the noise of the candies rattling together before it turned its pale eyes on the group.

  Joe cleared his throat. She looks like she’s waiting for something. “You can take those. They’re yours.” Beside him Joe’s two companions turned a double questioning look at him, but didn’t interrupt.

  The ghost girl didn’t walk away, nor did she fade out slowly like some cheap special effect. She simply vanished between blinks. The bag she’d been holding dropping to the ground with a soft plop that told it was empty.

  “Ok,” Micah said, now at full volume since the apparition was gone. “That was creepy. I don’t want to see that again. Lets get the fuck out of here. Was that what you saw when you picked up the mana blaster?”

  Joe nodded “yeah, she looks more solid now than she did before. I wonder what that’s about.” He turned to look at Jill. “You said it was a Sylvan?”

  “I said it may be a Sylvan.” Jill pulled the bolt from her crossbow and slotted it back into her chest armor. Despite being the worse for wear, the loops that held her crossbow bolts to her stomach were still holding together. When no additional explanation seemed to be forthcoming, Joe gave a shrug and dropped the question.

  Fuck it, when we get back I’m buying every gods damned book Paul has in his shop. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m one step behind all the time.

  “Let's proceed with caution.” Micah glanced back at the other two. “While I want us all keeping an eye out for that…thing, I also want to hear how things went with that Minsk guy.” Jill nodded her agreement so Joe picked up his narrative as they were going to meet Minsk for lunch.

  <><><>

  Joe squeezed Moira’s hand as they walked to the Hitching Post which ironically, had nothing to do with horses. It sat at the gates to the Greatfalls Academy and seemed to cater almost exclusively to its staff and students. While the town existed because of the academy, this was the first time Joe had actually bothered to get anywhere near it. Not that it wasn’t hard to find. The imposing edifice towered over the lower buildings of the town, its pale stone and blue slate roofs acting as an almost photo negative to the more earth toned buildings it dwarfed. Behind it the waterfall it got its name from cascaded down from the nearby mountains creating an almost constant pillar of mist.

  Joe would have wondered why the “Greatfalls” academy was built so far away from its namesake, had he not visited a few major waterfalls back in his old life and knew how absolutely noisy they could be. At this distance the falls majesty could be enjoyed, in silence.

  Their destination clung to the outer wall of the academy grounds like a remora on a whale shark. The Hitching Post’s three floors barely came halfway up the wall it was built into, leading Joe to wonder why an academy of higher education needed such impressive fortifications. He would have asked, but Joe was becoming increasingly worried that his lack of a baseline knowledge of the world was going to get him into trouble. Not for the first time he promised himself to sit down and read up more on the world he’d been dropped into. Not least of all, what the hell it’s actually called. I can’t think of a comment more likely to get me thrown into a padded room as ‘excuse me, but what planet are we on?’

  Between Moira and him Sarah skipped along humming tunelessly. After some debate they’d decided it would be best to tell her ahead of time who they were going to meet. That way the young girl had a chance to process the information before meeting her father. The idea of meeting her long lost parent had had the little catgirl bouncing off the walls most of the morning in excited anticipation. She’d been completely unaware of her mothers increasing agitation as the dreaded meeting approached. After Moira had snapped at her for being too loud, Joe had offered to take Sarah out for a walk before the meeting and Moira had reluctantly agreed.

  Thankfully, The two of them didn’t run into Minsk while out, Joe having steered them out towards the edge of town instead of inward towards the academy. The two of them had spent a pleasant hour or so walking along the roadside hunting for cool looking sticks. Sarah’d found a long one she’d taken a liking to and Joe had promised he’d carve it into a sword for her.

  But all too quickly noon had come around. The hour hadn’t really been agreed upon, Minsk having simply mentioned lunch in passing. However, when the Fairchilds had returned to their house that morning, there had been a note on their living room table stating the hour and place for the meeting. Moira had been beside herself, swearing she’d locked the door before they left.

  Joe gave Moira’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as they reached the door. She turned to look at him, and the two shared a small moment of comfort as they stared into each other's eyes. It was Sarah who pushed the door open. Oblivious to the feelings of her elders, she shoved the door with all of her six year old might and looked around excitedly as her eyes adjusted to the gloom.

  Minsk wasn’t hard to find, being the only ginger colored C’tahl in the room. Nevertheless, he stood as they entered making his presence even easier to spot. He had at least swapped out his fighting clothes for something appropriately more civilian; a grey colored tunic with dark leather pants. The belt at his waist still held his thick bladed sword, but with the outfit it looked more accessory than threat.

  “Is this my little Sarah?” he asked with a smile, holding his arms wide for the cat girl in question.

  All at once the bravado and excitement went out of Sarah. Suddenly faced with the physical presence of the mythical father, she hid behind her mother. Moira set a hand on her head and scratched her scalp. “Give her a few minutes Minsk, this is a lot to take in.” Moira squatted down to Sarah’s level and brought the child around the front of her. “Sarah, this is your father. Can you say hi to him?”

  “Hi” The voice was small, even as her eyes grew bigger to take in the towering figure of her father.

  Once Minsk realized Sarah was overcome with awe instead of fear, his demeanor changed, going from unreadably dark to pompous in an instant. He gave a chuckle and sat back down, patting the seat of the chair next to him. “Come on over, I won't bite. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” As if as an afterthought, Minsk gave a perfunctory nod towards Joe, “Joe.”

  “Minsk” Joe responded in kind, taking his seat across from the C’tahl. He hadn’t meant anything by it, it had just been the most convenient seat. However, once he’d sat down Joe registered the slight scowl on Minsk’s face. After a moment Joe realized that by sitting across from him, Joe’d forced Moira to take the seat diagonally to Minsk. This put her as far as was possible to get from her former lover. It wasn’t enough to be noticeable under normal conditions, the table being designed to seat a maximum of four people. But here and now it looked like Joe was trying to send a message. Fuck it, if he wants to read too much into it then he can.

  The Fairchilds took their seats with Sarah by Minsk and Moira by Joe. “So Sarah,” Minsk said, turning away from Joe to look down at his daughter. “Got any questions for your old man?”

  The young catgirl tilted her head back to stare up at her father. “What’s your name?”

  Minsk shot a glance at Moira. “Your mother didn’t tell you?” When Sarah shook her head he huffed through his nose before ruffling her hair. “My name is Minsk, but you can call me Daddy.”

  Joe could just make out Moira stiffening on his peripheral. He slid his hand into hers under the table and gave it a squeeze.

  Sarah wrinkled her nose before shaking her head. “ I don’t want to do that. I only call Mama “Mama” because she’s my mama.” There was a long pause as all the adults present attempted to parse out the meaning in that statement.

  “Well,” Minsk continued after he seemed to finally get it. “What about calling me ‘Dad’ then?”

  Sarah’s face scrunched up in serious deliberation as she thought this through. Eventually she gave a nod and looked back up at Minsk. “Ok, I can do that. Where have you been?”

  “Ah,” Minsk smiled and his eyes took on a far away expression. “Now that is quite the tale. I could tell it to you sometime,” he glanced at Moira, “if your mother doesn’t mind you spending the night with your old man.”

  Sarah turned pleading eyes on a scowling Moira who softened like butter under a blowtorch. “Not tonight, but maybe soon” she said to her daughter's obvious disappointment. “Perhaps you could give her some quick stories today to tide her over until then?”

  “Of course!” Minsk ruffled Sarah’s hair again but had to draw his hand back when she took a swipe at him with her claws extended. Far from being upset Minsk laughed, but did not go back in for a third attempt. “Glad to see my daughter is as fierce as her father. What would you like to hear about first Sarah; the time I went on a pirate hunt, or the time I was engaged to be the bodyguard of the Earl of Delph?” Minsk turned to look at Joe, “Have you ever been to Delphlund Joe?”

  Joe shrugged, “can’t say I have. I didn’t travel much before coming here.”

  “What did you do before you got here if I may ask?” Minsk, in fact, asked. The C’tahl’s tones were syrupy sweet again, and immediately put Joe on guard.

  “I was a banker.” Simple answers Joe. If he’s trying to catch you in a lie, don’t give him any more information than you have to.

  Minsk looked surprised in his answer. “A banker, not a chemist? When did you find time to learn your new craft then?”

  “I’m, self taught.” Joe admitted. He’d never managed to find information on if this world had skill books, but the sheer lack of any mention of them was enough to convince Joe that saying ‘oh a magic book taught me’ was not the best thing to say. “I read books and learned as much as I could before coming over here.”

  Minsk raised an eyebrow, “no apprenticeship?” When Joe shook his head the C’tahl gave a good natured chuckle. “I don’t know if I’d trust myself to a self made chemist. I’m surprised the guild gave you the charter without an apprenticeship. Then again, they may have just been desperate with Bi’ll passing on and all that.”

  Joe didn’t need the suddenly crushing pressure from Moira’s hand to realize Minsk had just denigrated him. He chose however to ignore it. The last thing I want to do is give this asshat the pleasure of seeing that his words annoyed me. Instead he gave a shrug and looked Minsk in the eye. “That’s entirely up to you.”

  If Minsk was going to lob another ham-fisted insult at Joe he didn’t get the chance to. Sarah butted in making her decision. “I want to hear about the pirates!”

  “A good choice!” Minsk declared turning back to his daughter and seeming to dismiss Joe for now.

  Minsk wasn’t a half bad story teller, being both loud enough to be heard and animate enough to be interesting. Apparently some years ago a merchant family out of Misport had appealed to ‘his’ crew to help them with a band of particularly bothersome pirates that had raided three of their largest merchant vessels over the previous six months. Minsk’s group had infiltrated the crew disguised as new higher sailors meant to replace those lost to the pirates. From there they were to wait until the ship was attacked and either sink the pirate ship, or claim it as salvage for their employers.

  The menus came and went as Minsk continued his story. Nothing had sounded good to Joe, so he’d picked the soup of the day as it was cheap. In contrast Minsk selected a platter large enough to feed three people. It was a mix of high quality meats and fish with roasted vegetables and a large tankard of ale. Joe had gone with water.

  The story continued and Joe mostly tuned it out when he realized Minsk was going into excruciating detail on shipboard life. I wonder if he’ll let anyone else talk Joe thought idly as he toyed with the spoon his soup had come with. He glanced at Moira, who had a glazed look in her eyes, although Joe could see the coals of her anger banked just behind them. The only one who seemed to be wholly invested in the story besides Minsk was Sarah, who stared in starry eyed fascination as Minsk finally got to the point where his crew had fought the pirates.

  They’d attempted to take the ship, but the pirates had apparently constructed a self-destruct contingency on their ship that blew it to pieces with everyone aboard. However, like some sort of 80’s action hero, Minsk had come out unscathed. Jumping into the water at the last second to avoid the explosion, only nameless crewmembers from their host ship seemed to have gotten injured.

  Minsk took a long pull of his ale as the tale wound to an end. He smacked his lips noisily and waved the nearly empty vessel vaguely at Joe. “Although, I’ve heard talk that I’m not the only adventurer at this table. What’d you think of the delve you’ve been on Joe? Anything interesting happen?”

  For a reason he couldn’t quite explain, Joe knew immediately that he did not want to tell Minsk about the ghost girl. He’d probably say something dumb and snarky about it. Joe thought to himself as he made a show of thinking about the question. Honestly, probably best if I just downplay it. Less chance of giving him more fodder to be an ass about. “Not really.” Joe said dismissively, tipping his own water glass back at the C’tahl. “The tin elementals were an interesting enemy to cut my proverbial teeth on. Unfortunately so much of the magic was dumped into that one mana blaster we found there wasn’t much left for challenging monsters.”

  “Ah, so that’s where the mana blaster came from.” Minsk took a final drink, draining his overly large mug. “They wanted a small fortune for the thing, I bet you’re sitting pretty with that pay out under your belt.”

  “It helped fix some issues around the place.” Joe lied shamelessly. Yeah, not going to get me with that one buddy. Although I should probably look into getting some sort of safe or bank account. I can’t just keep shoving coins into my mattress forever, although so far it hasn’t managed to make the damn thing any less uncomfortable.

  Minsk didn’t push, instead banging his empty tankard down hard on the table and standing. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat with you all day, but I’ve gotta get up to the guild hall and put out some applications for a new crew.”

  “What happened to the last one?” Joe couldn’t help but ask as the big fighter collected his things and walked away.

  “Disbanded, I need to get another one together since there’s nothing for me here.”

  <><><>

  “That absolute shit stain.” Micah punctuated his feelings with a hard chop, severing the vine of the animate plant they were battling. Joe couldn’t help but agree, but telling the story while fighting had taken all the wind he could blow and he really needed to focus on dodging.

  Moira’s handshaker sang as it ripped through the air before burying itself deeply into the woody bulb connecting the plant to the ground. She really had outdone herself, creating for Joe something that looked like the short, fat brother of a halberd. The body had the distinct tapered shape of a handshaker, but the simple foot long steel spike at the end had been replaced with a dagger-like spear blade. Not content with this simple upgrade, the mother of this monster had attached a small Dane axe reinforced with strips of metal on either side of it. The handle was wrapped in leather and flared slightly at the end, giving Joe a reliable stop so the weapon didn’t go sailing out of his hands.

  With a twist he was starting to get good at, Joe used the long handle of his weapon as a leaver to widen the cut made by the blade. With a vegetable shriek and a loud crack, the top of the plant separated from the base, leaving the thorn encrusted vines to thrash about briefly before going still.

  “Mandragora aren’t hard, but man do I hate fighting them.” Micah complained, absently scratching at one of his numerous shallow cuts along his arms and torso. “I'm just glad their hearts are worth so much.”

  “One of the best pain numbing agents out there.” Joe grunted as he brought the ax head down on the torso thick bulb of the monster. It came apart with a few more swings, revealing a bright pink seed looking object about the size of his fist nestled in amongst the bulbs otherwise white flesh. “Couple more of these and we’ll break even for the potions we’ve had to use.”

  “More than likely.” Jill interjected from where she was keeping watch over Joe as he butchered the bulb. “But if you don’t mind me asking, did Minsk really leave before paying?”