I didn’t charge Arlowe for the second round of treats. The two of them just looked so sweet sitting there swapping stories like a pair of old grannies and I knew the extra pastries would keep the little ones busy. I hope the two of them meet up like that again once all is said and done. They’ve got more in common than they think and I’m sure a pair of new dads could use the extra shoulder to lean on.

  Excerpt from the personal diary of Merrie Carrie.

  Thankfully the basket wasn’t heavy, nor the walk between Merrie Carrie’s and Swiftly’s terribly long. The hardest part of the trip was balancing the massive stash of baked goods without losing anything off the sides. Merrie Carrie had packed the basket with more enthusiasm than sense, and the whole great edifice swayed alarmingly as Joe walked down the street.

  When he had successfully navigated the hazards of the sidewalk, Joe was faced with a new challenge, how to operate a door latch without using his hands. Ah the classic dilemma. Do I set what I’m carrying down and risk a landslide, or do I see if I can operate a door latch with my ass cheeks?

  After an unsuccessful, and frankly embarrassing attempt to do the latter, Joe was saved by a helpful daph who got the door for him.

  “You know,” Paul said, raising an eyebrow at the tower of treats, “the point of a store is to come in with an empty basket and leave with a full one. If you come in the other way you’re doing it wrong.”

  “Hey Paul.” Joe stuck his head around the pile as best he could. “This is actually for you.”

  “Oh?” Paul came around the corner and relieved Joe of his burden, losing a crescent shaped pastry in the process. “What’s the occasion? My birthday isn’t for another four months.” Once the basket was secured on the counter, Paul bent to retrieve the dropped treat. He gave it a speculative look before biting into it.

  “It’s a thank you,” Joe explained. He eyed the old stool by the counter before deciding he’d trust it and sat down. As always the thing creaked alarmingly, but held. “There’s no way I’d have been able to get all that paperwork done without your help, and that’s not even going into what you did to help me with the dungeon contract.”

  Paul shrugged, clapping his hands together to remove the crumbs from his fingers. “Well I am your guild rep. I’d be doing a poor job of it if I didn’t help out with all that. How is the dungeon doing? I heard it had a core collapse.”

  “Total collapse.” Joe said with a sigh. “When the guild investigators went to go inspect it, the door was gone.”

  “Pity that, I know they were enjoying having something so close.”

  “Yeah and I was making a pretty brisk business on last minute purchases.” Joe leaned an elbow against the counter and ground out another protest from the stool as his weight shifted. “But anyway, I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done. Job or not, I appreciate it.”

  Paul chuckled, eyeing the mountain of pastries. “On that note, I’ve got Rhal putting together an order for building materials now. Hopefully he’ll have that done some time later today and we can overnight the requisition forms in the morning.”

  Joe shot Paul a thumbs up. By the way the hob wrinkled his brow though, Joe realized it was a gesture that hadn’t translated. “Thanks Paul,” he said, trying to cover his faux pas. “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.” Before Joe could leave however the door to the general store opened, admitting two familiar faces. One was significantly smaller than Joe was used to, but it was good to see it none the less.

  “Jill!”

  The lamnotta in question looked up from her perch in Micah’s arms. She had attained her previous shape, but not her previous size, being about the size of a toddler. As such, Micah held her to his hip like she was his child. “Joe” she said, her voice having the same flat tone despite its higher pitch.

  Joe pushed himself off his seat and walked over to the pair. “How are you feeling?” he asked once he was at a more socially acceptable distance.

  “Better, I am recovering ahead of schedule, but am still unable to go on any more delves for the foreseeable future." She cocked her head to the side, her solid black eyes regarding Joe for a moment. ‘I have been told that the core beast cub made it out alright.” Above her, Joe could see Micah wince.

  “Joe,” he started to say before Joe cut him off.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I wouldn’t expect you to lie on your report.”

  “Yes,” Jill interjected, looking up at her partner. “Had you failed to record the existence of the core beast, you would likely have been severely fined, if not thrown out of the guild outright.”

  “Yeah but-”

  “No buts, you heard her. Besides, Moira and I are working on a way of paying off the guild.” Joe could see the young minotaur wasn’t entirely placated, but he didn’t push the issue.

  “Are you having difficulties collecting the funds?” Jill asked.

  Joe gave a shrug and a noncommittal hand gesture. “Yeah, we haven’t gotten the official amount yet though. Our current best plan is to get a loan on my shop to at least have somewhere to start.”

  “Your shop?” Micah could not keep the skeptical tone out of his voice. “Isn’t it a smoking ruin right now?”

  “Hey I said it was our best, not that it was a very good one.” Joe said more than a little defensively.

  “Would they not accept your glasses in trade?” Jill’s question caught Joe off guard. It took him a few seconds to realize what she was talking about.

  “My identification glasses?” He asked, “why would they want them?”

  “Why would an international agency dedicated to plundering valuables from interdimensional spaces not want a magical item capable of instantly identifying anything put in front of it with no mana cost?” Jill’s monotone was unchanged, but Joe thought he could catch just a faint undercurrent of sarcasm none the less.

  “He has what?” Paul asked from where he stood at the counter.

  “I, found, these glasses.” Joe turned and took a step back, trying to include Paule in the conversation. ‘They identify whatever I’m looking at.”

  Both of Paul’s eyebrows made a spirited attempt to jump over his head. “And you say it does so with no mana cost?”

  “Well I’ve never had to recharge it. They just kinda work.”

  “May I see them?”

  “Sure, I have to go get them,” Joe answered. He looked over at Micah, “did you not put them in your report?”

  The minotaur shrugged. “Why would I? They’re your property.”

  “True,” Joe felt genuine hope for the first time since Arlowe had taken Crystal. “Do you really think they’d be worth that much?”

  “If what you’re saying is true.” Paul said, verbally crowbarring his way back into the conversation. “Now if you don’t mind Joe?” Joe almost shot him another thumbs up, but caught himself in time and nodded.

  <><><>

  It was a quick trip to and from the smithy, with Joe only stopping long enough to give Moira a kiss and nab a sealed envelope Arlowe had left. It could only be the guild payoff amount, but Joe couldn't bring himself to open it. The feeling of hope was too fresh, too new to risk dashing it right then.

  Paule hummed thoughtfully as he turned Joe’s tutorial specs over in his hands. He held them out in front of his face, squinting to look through them. Next he tried to balance them between his eyes and his own glasses, his long hob snout making them rock awkwardly as they failed to fit in place. “Interesting,” he muttered to himself.

  “So?” Joe asked, unable to wait any longer.

  “And you are sure that these have never required recharging?” Paul asked, somehow managing to look over both sets of glasses at him.

  “Never once in the months I’ve had them, and I use them all the time.” Joe confirmed. “If they were going to run out of juice they would have already.”

  “Juice? Never mind, can they identify themselves?” Paul asked. Before Joe could ask for clarification, Paul rummaged around under the counter and came back up with a small hand mirror. He looked into it and gave a small chuckle before taking them off and handing them back to Joe. “I can say with one hundred percent certainty that while you have those glasses in your possession, you are the single richest person in Academyway. “

  Joe’s brain temporarily shut down. Half a dozen questions all jammed themselves into the turnstile of his mind, all elbowing for their chance to get said. Eventually “huh?” wriggled free of the crush by dint of being the smallest.

  Behind him Micah broke into a belly laugh that almost dislodged his passenger. “Well hell,” he said, mirth dripping from his voice, “with that as a bargaining chip you may end up with the guild owing you.”

  Paul nodded towards Micah before turning and addressing Joe. “And for that reason, would you be willing to leave them with me? While I would like to think the best of the guild as an institution, I know it would only take one desperate and stupid person to do something, unscrupulous.”

  Joe pursed his lips, clearly unwilling to let them go. “Even if you had them, what’s to stop someone from breaking into Moira’s looking for them?”

  “Nothing really.” Paul admitted. “All the same, I would feel better having them under lock and key if their existence gets out.”

  “And it will,” Jill interjected. “Adventurers gossip like old women. If you intend to use them as a bargaining chip then it won't be long before the whole guild knows.”

  “Alright,” Joe was still reluctant, but saw the wisdom in what they said. He passed his tutorial specs over to Paul, who disappeared into the back. When he returned, he was empty handed.

  “Is that letter important?” Micah asked, using an elbow to indicate the letter in Joe’s hand since he was supporting his partner.

  “Oh this?” Joe looked down at the letter in his hand, becoming aware of it for the first time since returning to Swiftly’s. “I’m pretty sure it’s the guild payoff amount, but I haven’t opened it yet.”

  “Well no time like the present.” Paul said. He retrieved a rag from his apron pocket and used it to clean his hands.

  With no reason not to, Joe broke the seal on the back and unfolded the paper. His eyes bugged at the sheer number of zeros. Micah looked over his shoulder and grunted in surprise.

  “Gods above, there’s no way that’s a partial amount of anything. That’s a whole ass something right there. I’m not sure what it would be, but it’d be big.”

  “May I see it?” Paul held his hand out and Joe passed the letter to him. He glanced at it before sadly shaking his head. “For an intact, immature core beast? It’s a little on the high side, but not unreasonable.”

  “How is that not unreasonable?” Micah demanded.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

  Joe met Paul’s eyes. The hob was smiling at him and Joe couldn’t help but wonder just what a Royal Inquisitor did when not transporting prisoners or running a general store.

  “So,” Joe drew out the word while his mind tried to fit the kindly old shopkeeper into the black armor he’d seen the Royal Inquisitors wearing when they came for Higgins. “How do we go about initiating the trade?”

  Paul looked pensive for a moment. “Are you sure you want to do this? You will never again, in your entire life, see anything as powerful as those glasses. Are you really willing to throw them away so quickly? The amount they are worth could set you, Moira, Sarah, and any children Sarah had up for life.” The hob leaned back, using his powerful tail as a makeshift seat as he crossed his arms over his thin chest. “That’s not including the fact that even if you do pay off the guild for the core beast, there’s nothing to stop others from trying to claim her themselves. You’d be lucky if any of them bothered asking for her.”Paul had a point and Joe knew it. Lacking any convincing argument of his own, Joe shrugged and repeated Moira’s.

  “We’re the best shot she’s got.”

  And to that, Paul had no response. He only shook his head and chuckled.

  <><><>

  Micah offered to take Joe’s proposal up to the guild office for him, but Joe ultimately declined the offer. Maybe it was paranoia, maybe it was the result of years spent ‘behind the curtain’ in largescale organizations. Whatever the reason ultimately was, Joe felt in his bones that anything handed off to an uninvolved third party might as well be thrown into the sea. So in the end Joe decided he needed to talk directly with Arlowe.

  Despite the rural size of Academyway, finding the minotaur’s home address proved to be more challenging than Joe had initially thought it would be. Much like when Joe had only become aware of the difficulties in researching sans the internet, it wasn’t until he needed to find someone that he realized his new world lacked any analogue to even a phonebook.

  The provincial mail house that dealt with what mail didn’t go through the university was staffed by a singularly surly and unhelpful daph. The diminutive insectfolk had buzzed angrily when Joe had asked for Arlowe’s home address, its bushy mustache-like antenna bobbing furiously in front of its mouth parts.

  “If’n he didn’t see right ta give ya his own address, then why the hells should I?” it had grumped in a surprisingly passable Scottish accent.

  With no other leads, Joe had taken to wandering the streets in the vain hope of running into him. As twilight painted the sky in purples and reds, a desperate Joe tried one last stop. Merry Carri had told him that Arlowe would occasionally take his son in for a treat and a plain cup of yara. Joe hoped that tonight would be one such night.

  <><><>

  It wasn’t hard to spot them, Arlowe’s size alone acted like a lighthouse in a sea of bodies. Arlowe’s little one was the spitting image of his father except in miniature. He sat quietly working way through a pastry, occasionally swapping tidbits with his friend next to him.

  Joe blinked, not quite believing what he was seeing. Crystal sat serenely next to Arlowe’s son equipped with her own pastry. She looked completely at peace. Whatever Joe had expected of Arlowe, treating Crystal like she was his own child hadn’t been it.

  Crystal was the one who spotted Joe first. With a screech of “Papi!” she hopped down from her chair and ran to him, hitting with enough force to actually make Joe take a step back. He had just enough time before the collision to register Arlowe tense up. When Joe looked back however, the minotaur seemed at ease once more.

  “Papi, gotta teet” Crystal said solemnly, holding her sticky hands up as evidence.

  “Aw, did Uncle Arlowe get you a treat?” Joe made sure to stress the ‘r’ in the last word to prevent future embarrassment.

  ‘Hm” Crystal gave a quick nod before marching back to her seat to continue consuming her ‘teet’.

  “Joe,” Arlowe’s one word acknowledgement carried the weight of a full question.

  “I got your message.” Joe explained, coming over to keep their conversation as private as he could. There was one chair left at the table, so Joe slipped into it.

  “Oh?” Arlowe took a sip of his drink. When he did not expand on the statement, Joe foraged onward.

  “I don’t think I’ll be able to do a cash payoff.” Arlowe nodded in understanding, although there was a sadness in his eyes Joe hadn’t expected to see there. “Would the guild be willing to accept an exchange instead?”

  Arlowe raised an eyebrow, his cup halfway to his lips. “That depends,” the minotaur let his tone say how likely he thought that to be. “It would have to be something remarkable.”

  “I think I have something like that.” Joe glanced around. While not as packed as the lunch rush had been, the cafe was far from empty. Shit, I really wanted to do this somewhere private. “How do I go about letting them know I’ve got something to trade?”

  “Well, since I am one of them, talking to me will be good enough. I’ll get in contact with a guild assessor in the morning and arrange a meeting.”

  “Papi, ‘nother.” The two adults looked over to find their respective children had finished their pastries and now sported expectant looks on their faces.

  Joe and Arlowe shared a parental look before nodding. “I’ll pay for hers,” Joe said, digging around in his money pouch.

  Arlowe raised a hand to forestall him. “Don’t worry about it. I said I would take care of her while she was with me and I meant it.” He pushed off the table with a grunt and made his way to the counter, leaving Joe to look after the youngster.

  I don’t know if I’d be willing to do that myself. Joe watched Crystal and the still unnamed mini-Arlowe pick crumbs off the table as he mulled over the amount of trust Arlowe was showing him. Then again, if I had Arlowe’s build and vocation, I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to try anything.

  Having picked her place clean of crumbs, Crystal leaned into Mini Arlowe’s personal space and started harvesting his. The little minotaur wrinkled his snout in consternation. He pushed the invading cub back, trying to defend what was his with a; “nooooo, my c’mbs!”

  Crystal looked about ready to retaliate when Joe stepped in. “Crystal, leave his food alone. Uncle Arlowe is getting you both another treat.”

  The two toddlers did a slow motion judo fight for a few more seconds before Crystal finally gave it up and waited for Arlowe’s return. Once pastries were obtained, both children were no longer interested in the world.

  “How has Crystal been for you?” Joe asked as Arlowe seated himself again.

  “Hmm?” Arlowe picked up his cup and took a sip before responding. “Oh she’s been fine. Her and Tex took some time to warm up to each other, but now they act like siblings."

  “Meaning they fight like cats and dogs.” Joe supplied. While he didn’t have any siblings of his own, Joe’d had enough childhood friends who had to know the score.

  Arlowe blew an amused snort out his nose. “Well I’ve never heard it described like that, but yeah.” He gave a shrug, “ Although it never got serious enough that they weren’t playing with each other five minutes later.” He reached over and ruffled Tex’s hair, causing the little minotaur to bleat in alarm and swat at his fathers hand. Arlowe glanced around before leaning in towards Joe. “You wouldn’t be willing to give me some idea of what you have, would you?”

  I probably should, it’d likely make it easier to get a guild assessor to take me seriously. Joe leaned in himself before responding. “I have an item that can identify anything with one hundred percent accuracy at no mana cost.”

  Arlowe didn’t respond immediately, instead leaning back and regarding Joe with a skeptical look. “If that were true,” he said in a flat tone, “then the guild would be very interested in such an item. Where is it now?”

  “Safe,” Joe smiled apologetically at Arlowe, but did not elaborate. If the burly minotaur was put off at all by the vague answer, he didn't let it show. Instead he simply nodded and did not ask again.

  Joe stayed for a while longer, ordering himself a drink and enjoying it while he listened to Arlowe tell stories of previous delves. When the second round of pastries were consumed, and the adults had finished their drinks, they went their separate ways with Joe leaving for Moira’s and Crystal staying with Arlowe.

  <><><>

  With the coming of the morning Joe found a message waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. The corner of it protruded out from under a sizable stone that had been used to keep the envelope from blowing away. The whole thing reminded Joe of another envelope under a different rock that felt like a hundred years ago.

  “The mail came already?”

  Joe turned to see he was causing a traffic jam on the staircase. Moira stood behind him with Gretta about two steps further back, her natural height and the slope of the stairs allowing her to look over both their heads and see what Joe was holding.

  “I don’t think so,” Joe stepped off the stairwell to clear the way while he examined the letter. On the back was the now familiar Guild of Adventurers seal. “My guess is that Arlowe or someone dropped this off.” Joe used his finger to break the seal. The note inside was brief;

  Assessor Meeting:

  10:15 M, 15 Sixtus

  A115

  “Nice of them to give you all of two hours notice.” Gretta griped. “That’s ‘Building A, Room 115’ by the way since they didn’t specify it.”

  “Thanks,” Joe inclined his head as he tucked the letter into his money pouch. “I bet the short notice is why they didn’t wait for the regular mail.” His fingers brushed against the smooth surface of the rings he still had in his pouch. Joe felt his insides knot up for a completely different reason than the up coming assessor meeting. His eyes drifted over to where Moira was busy getting the forage going. He couldn’t see her face from his angle, but that didn’t stop him from admiring the view.

  Gretta nudged him in the ribs. When Joe glanced over she waggled her eyebrows, a huge grin on her face. A wild idea came to him, and Joe couldn’t help himself. His hand dipped back into his money pouch. Retrieving the rings, Joe covertly displayed them to the orcish blacksmith. The resulting gasp made Moira turn around, but by the time she looked their way Joe had already pocketed them once more.

  “If you two are looking for something to do,” she said, narrowing her eyes, "then I got a whole laundry list of things you can pick from.”

  Joe and Gretta glanced at each other before splitting, Gretta to get to work and Joe to see what Moira needed help with. It turned out that laundry actually was one of the items on said list. In pretty short order Joe found himself out on the street, a canvas duffle bag thrown over one shoulder.

  Alright, drop this off at the cleaners, then swing by Paul’s to get the tutorial specs. That should give me just enough time to get up to the academy and find the room I’m looking for.

  Academyway had a high enough population to allow for four laundry services. The closest to Fairchild’s was run by a set of fraternal lamia twins. Of which the brother was working the counter when Joe showed up.

  “Morning Lewis,” Joe waved with his free hand as he entered, “got a load for you.”

  “Any delicates or whites?” The lamia asked as he pulled an abacus and wax tablet from under the counter. The humidity in the building made standard paper pads a poor idea.

  “Yeah, general whites. We separated them out the way you like.” Joe opened the drawstring top of the duffle and extracted a smaller drawstring bag

  “I wish more customers were as considerate as you.” Lewis chuckled. He gestured to the massive iron scale next to him. “Toss them up there and let's see what you got.”

  The scale looked like someone had set out to build an industrial version of a doctors office scale and didn’t stop until the budget ran out. The platform was large enough to accommodate two full grown adults comfortably, or four if they knew each other really well.

  Joe threw first the whites bag, then the general bag onto the platform while Lewis recorded the weights. After a few quick calculations on the abacus he looked up at Joe. “Allright, that’ll be two bronze and an iron.”

  Joe paid the man and headed off to his next appointment.

  <><><>

  “You know, as much as I love talking with you Joe, I look forward to the day you only come in for groceries.” Despite Paul’s words, the smile on his face told Joe that the hob was only joking.

  “Sorry Paul. If it’s any consolation; I also look forward to that day.” Joe slotted himself into the old stool, which grumbled at his weight but still did its job. “I’m here for my glasses. I’ve got an appointment to have them looked at up at the university.”

  “Oh already?” Paul’s bushy eyebrows rose in surprise. “Glad to see they’re at least pretending to take this seriously. Don’t be surprised if the guild assessor roasts you over the fire though. You’re making some pretty extraordinary claims.” The hob got up and disappeared into the back before Joe could respond.

  Instead Joe took the time to browse the bins, finding a few staples his family needed. I’ll grab them when I drop the tutorial specs off. I don’t really want to bring my groceries to the meeting. I guess we can add cars to the list of things I miss from Earth. Although, if I’m honest the fresher air and decrease to my waistline outweigh the convenience.

  When Paul returned, he held a small soft velvet bag in his hand. Its size and shape were close enough to a soft glasses case that Joe was able to put two and two together fairly easily. “Thanks Paul,” Joe said, taking the bag from the hob.

  “You’re welcome. Please bring them back as soon as you’re done with the meeting. The more people that know of those, and the longer they know of them, the more likely it is for something to happen.”

  “Understood.” Privately Joe chafed at being told what to do with his own property. He knew though that it came from a good place so he didn’t hold it against Paul. They exchanged goodbyes and Joe set off for the university campus.

  <><><>

  While the campus of the Greatfalls University wasn’t necessarily a closed campus, Joe’d had no reason to go into it and had pretty much ignored it despite how it dominated Academyway’s skyline. The whole university was surrounded by a massive, three story wall with a single gate facing the main road. A portcullis hung over the entry like a monstrous mouth with an overbite. The inner surface of the curtain wall was encrusted with buildings, with not a single inch of wasted space.

  The center of the enclosed space was dominated by a cathedral-like building climbing some six stories before it even got to the roof. The green space between walls and central building was full of lawns and gardens cut through with paths connecting outer doorways to a single ring road that went all the way around the central building.

  People of all ages and races went to and fro on their own private assignments, paying Joe no more mind than they did the flowers or grass. Alright, Joe took a deep breath and headed forward, let's see if we can’t find this ‘building A’.