The trap-filled cavern had two paths we could take. The path on the left looked like it began to slope upwards. Depending on how much the dungeon had changed, this would be the wrong path. Oristrella’s boss room was deeper underground, not closer to the surface. The path on the right did dip out of view, sloping downwards. It was closer to where the map indicated the path would be, so I surmised that it hadn’t changed too much.

  “We’re going by the left-hand rule,” I told Ferrisdae.

  “Left-hand?” She asked. I opened my mouth, ready to explain, when she shook her head. “I know what it means, I just like the right-hand rule.”

  “This isn’t something we’re going to argue over,” I said. “My shield is on the left, so that’s the way we turn.”

  “I guess that’s fair,” Ferrisdae sighed. I gave her a look, and she stood up straighter. “I mean, yes sir.”

  “Stay close, keep your wand ready.” Instead of indulging her further, I started walking through the cave. The bear traps were easy to spot, hidden under clumps of snow that only occasionally looked natural. The cracked ice indicating pitfalls were harder to see and navigate.

  Someone had tried to be clever, I realized, and perhaps the placement and camouflage of the bear traps wasn’t as bad as I thought they were. I stopped and took a look around the room again. Once under a scrutinizing gaze, I could see where some of the snow that drifted from outside dipped into the ice, just slightly.

  “This is better designed than I initially thought,” I said to Ferrisdae. I moved my sword to point out the paths. “Take a look.”

  Ferrisdae paused and followed my sword to where I was pointing. She squinted as she took in the room, and then started looking all around us.

  “Ohhhh, that’s devious,” she said as she figured it out.

  “What’s your assessment?” I asked, resuming my trek across the room.

  “The bear traps are meant to be found, as are some of the cracked ice pitfalls,” Ferrisdae responded. She followed me closely, matching her footsteps with mine. “Almost all of the paths lead to a pitfall, but the snow around the bear traps hide their own pitfall underneath. An adventurer would see the trap on top and think that’s all there is to it, but it’s just a cover. If you avoid the easily seen pitfall traps by going over the bear traps, you’re still falling in.”

  “That’s right,” I said, nodding. “It’s a simple setup, and any competent rogue or ranger of an appropriate level would spot it, but it’s still a not so nice little surprise.”

  My pace was glacial as I moved forwards, panning my gaze over the floor. I stopped about halfway through the room and looked towards the ceiling. Nothing out of the ordinary that I noticed. With all these traps on the floor, putting one high up where a party was unlikely to look would have been downright evil.

  We followed the only path to safety that we could see, which involved a small section of slippery ice between two rather large cracks. It was hard to spot, the only indication being the fissures in the ice stopping abruptly.

  “Seven out of ten,” I said to no one in particular. “It’ll catch parties who don’t have the right skill set, but for those who have the skills for it, it’s just tedious.”

  “At least we know why there’s no one waiting for us at the entrance,” Ferrisdae said. “If there weren’t any rules, the Kobolds could just keep archers against this back wall to harass the adventurers.”

  Dungeon rooms that were more than 80% traps were designated as trap rooms. These areas were only allowed to have a few combatants in order to keep things fair for adventurers. This was definitely a trap room, but I shook my head at Ferrisdae’s words.

  “I don’t think it’s because of regulations,” I said. “If they were still following regulations, then we wouldn’t have the problem of them changing the dungeon around without notifying us. The adventurers that come to this place are going to be powerful, a few archers or spellcasters aren’t going to be a big deal unless the party in question is woefully unprepared.”

  Ferrisdae thought about it as we reached the wall between the two paths forwards. “That makes sense,” she agreed. “It’s a good thing for the Dungeon Master, Master of Dungeons, that flight magic is so hard to come by. With such a high ceiling, that’d make this room pretty much inconsequential.”

  “Flight magic makes a lot of things inconsequential,” I said. “And makes a lot of things that aren’t normally possible, possible. It’s not that it’s hard to come by, it’s that it’s well-regulated to prevent misuse, just like long range teleportation spells. There’s a reason why the Mages Guild has a monopoly on that.”

  “Some noble families and royalty, too,” Ferrisdae added.

  “Yeah, but that’s just how the world works,” I responded. “You can get just about anything if you’re rich.”

  We made our way to the pathway on the left and both peeked around the corner. The uphill slope was gradual for the first twenty feet or so, and then sharply increased. Not impossible to climb, though, just tiring. The floor was made of stone instead of ice and went on for roughly a hundred more feet before ending in a thick wall of ice. Small ridges took up half the path, alternating from left to right, and on those ridges stood Kobolds. A quick count put the number of ridges at five with 25 Kobolds in all. A literal uphill battle.

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  One of the Kobolds on the lowest ridge spotted us peeking and raised a crossbow, firing with a shout. We both pulled our heads back to safety as the bolt ricocheted off of the stone wall, landing harmlessly near a bear trap.

  “The intruders are here!” the Kobold yelled, its voice too high pitch to take seriously in the rumbling, guttural language of dragons.

  “Do you speak Draconic?” I asked Ferrisdae, and she shook her head. I nodded before poking my head back out to shout in their language. “We are Dungeon Inspectors! Any who are willing to speak to us will be exempt from our subjugation!”

  I heard murmurs as the Kobolds spoke amongst themselves. “What are they saying?” Ferrisdae asked.

  “They’re wondering how best to respond to me asking for anyone to surrender,” I answered, pulling my head back to look at her. “You know, what insult would devastate my feelings the most.”

  “Fuck you, soft skin!” a Kobold yelled back. I rolled my eyes.

  “These guys aren’t the sharpest,” I told Ferrisdae. Slapping my hand against my chest, I conjured my full shield again. “Are you ready to fight our way up there?”

  “Actually, I think I noticed something all the way in the back of the tunnel,” Ferrisdae said hesitantly.

  “The ice wall?”

  She nodded. “I can see magic flowing through it, which makes that wall very suspicious.”

  That was good to know. The ability to detect magic around them was a relatively common skill to all mages. It was something that would always be useful.

  “Alright, so what do you want to do about it?” I asked. Peeking my head around the corner, I took a look at the ice wall again. It seemed innocuous, but it didn’t fit with the rest of the stone tunnel. I pulled my head back as another crossbow bolt struck the wall, this one much closer to hitting me.

  Ferrisdae blinked. “You’re going to let me call the shots?” She asked, surprised. “I kind of thought you’d want to do things your way.”

  “Hey, I’m not that bad, am I?” I asked, somewhat insulted. “If you have a plan, and it’s not crazy, then let's do your plan. What kind of inspector would I be if I didn’t let my junior grow?”

  “The Badger kind of inspector,” Ferrisdae said.

  I scoffed. “Do you have a plan or not?”

  “Yes, I do,” Ferrisdae said quickly. “Can you cover me?” I nodded and raised my shield towards her. “Okay, then once you have their attention, I’m going to cast a spell. It could be something, it could be nothing, but if it doesn’t work then all it’ll cost me is some magic power.”

  “Then we’ll go on three,” I told her. I positioned myself so that I could pick up some speed easily. The terrain favored the defenders, but their window to hit me with my shield up was smaller than usual due to the angle “One… two… three!”

  I barreled around the corner, my head covered as I worked my way up the gentle part of the slope. Crossbow bolts rained down on me. They were a mixed bag when it came to accuracy; I guessed about a third of them succeeded in hitting my shield. Because of the transparency enchantment, I could see the projectiles bouncing off, but I had faced down worse and I didn’t flinch.

  Ferrisdae jumped out behind me, and I heard her quickly cast a spell while the Kobolds were distracted. A roar filled my ears as a spinning five pointed star the size of my full shield sailed over my head, almost causing me to lose my balance out of surprise. I watched as it arched upwards, spinning faster the further it went, and slammed into the ice wall, sinking into it without slowing and sending shavings all over the nearest Kobolds.

  “That’s the Magic Missile variant?” I half-yelled.

  Before my junior had a chance to respond, the ice cracked and buckled under itself. The Kobolds took one look at the wall and immediately began panicking. With yipping shouts, they started running towards us.

  The ice began surging down the slope. It hadn’t been just a wall, but a dam holding back the unfreezing water of the Coldspring. I stumbled to a stop and turned around. Ferrisdae was staring at the danger coming towards us. I could hear the sound of ice breaking apart, the roar of the water as it filled the tunnel.

  “Move!” I shouted, gesturing towards where we came from.

  That seemed to shock her into motion. Ferrisdae dove behind the wall as I pumped my legs as hard as I could. Time seemed to slow as I heard the Kobold’s fearful shrieks disappear one by one behind me; they were being caught by the sudden deluge. What could possibly have made the owner think this was a good idea?

  Despite my panic, I wasn’t too far from safety. I made it around the corner with a few seconds to spare. We both watched as the Kobolds we were supposed to fight were pushed out of the tunnel and into the traps. A loud crack ripped through the cavern as the ice shattered, sending the water and Kobolds into the pitfall traps, dragging some of the bear traps down with them.

  “That… was… awesome!” Ferrisdae cackled after a few moments of silence. “I knew something was up but I wasn’t expecting that!”

  “You did good, kid,” I praised, giving her a nod. I shuffled close to the pitfall trap, trying not to agitate the ice, and looked inside. It was deeper than I expected, around 30 feet, but there were only puddles of water at the bottom with the corpses. There were holes in the wall and at the bottom of the trap, likely to gather the water and make sure that no one could swim out of the pit.

  I grunted, then shook my head. “Three out of ten.”

  “Gotta give them some credit,” Ferrisdae said. “Henchmen placement was good, what with it being a slog to work your way up into melee distance. Five out of ten, I’d say. The biggest question being the purpose of this? Was one of the Kobolds in charge supposed to set it off if they were losing?”

  “That or it was a trap that was supposed to go off when you get near the top,” I offered. “But it’s still reckless and dangerous and stupid. I’ll stick with my three out of ten. This new owner seems incompetent.”

  Ferrisdae shrugged, I retracted my shield, and we started moving up the tunnel. It was wet and slippery, but nothing we couldn’t handle by being careful and taking our time. We found an alcove a few feet from the jagged remains of the ice wall. An ornate door was set inside with a key and a note hanging on it.

  Not seeing any traps, I took the parchment to get a better look. The writing was in Imperial Standard, but I read it aloud anyway so that Ferrisdae wouldn't have to hover over my shoulder.

  “This part of the dungeon has not yet been formed. Here is the key you will need to enter the boss room. Just know that the rooms beyond will be epic, and you really missed out on some cool things by showing up early.”

  We stood in awkward silence for a moment, and I grabbed the key. It was made out of gold with four teeth on one end, and a stylized dragon head with horns on the other. There wasn’t a keyhole on this door, so it must have been for another room in the dungeon.

  “Two out of ten, final answer,” I sighed, ripping the note off of the door and throwing it into the water.

  I turned my attention to the room behind the ice wall where a few puddles still remained. It was vast, which explained why there had been so much water. This had to be one of the traps the dungeon itself reset with magic; there was no way anyone would be filling this room with buckets. In the back of the room was a deep gouge, like something had impacted it and started cutting through.

  I leveled a flat stare at Ferrisdae as I recognized it as the aftermath of her Shooting Star spell. “Just a variation on Magic Missile, huh?”

  “I told you it wasn’t a big deal,” Ferrisdae said with an impish grin.