I had no idea just how good I had it back on Earth, where I could shop at a grocery store and think nothing of the animals I ate. My mouth would water at the thought of bacon sizzling in a pan, a half-pound burger broiling over a grill, or freshly baked chicken coming out of the oven. It was pure and utter bliss to sink my teeth into that first bite. Even traveling over Ichi, Shi, and Nyarlothep, I’d never been the one to hunt, skin, and gut whatever was for lunch or dinner.

  I had a newfound respect for farmers, butchers, Keke, Cannoli, and Agni.

  “Is that really necessary?” I asked. “Holding it like that?”

  Sam squatted on one knee and looked up at me. “What do you mean?” She held the snuffler upside down by its tail, and I watched with a squeamish stomach as blood poured freely out of the crevice. Sam had used her hunting knife to widen the hole I’d made with my axe.

  “This feels kind of, uh, disrespectful?”

  Sam frowned. “Oh, you’re really new to this.” She chuckled. “When you mentioned you knew a butcher, I thought you’d have at least watched them.”

  I shook my head. “No, but I’m thinking I should have.” Or shadowed one of my girls while we camped.

  “Come closer and I’ll show ya what I’m doin’.” I walked over and squatted on the balls of my feet, though I’d be lying if I said I was excited. Using the hunting knife in her hand, she pointed to the two slits she made in what remained of the snuffler’s neck. “I widened the gap here to drain the blood. We don’t want the blood, just the meat. I’d normally do this after skinning it, but I don’t want us attractin’ predators to our camp.”

  “The blood won’t lead them to us?”

  “Nah. We’re plenty far away.”

  I swallowed against the lump in my throat. The flesh was so fresh and tender and red. A smell that resembled iron and rotten fish filled the air. The same smell had drenched the fields outside of Catania. Swarmed me the night I’d killed the Defiled at the outpost. I took steady breaths through my mouth to avoid spilling my stomach all over the ground.

  “Why do we drain the blood?” I asked. As tough as this was, I knew it was important for my survival. There was no telling if I’d have to do this on my own someday. Even if I wasn’t, I couldn’t rely on taverns, pubs, and my Party to keep me satiated forever. I’d been lucky up until this point to have reliable companions.

  “Good question,” Sam said, pointing the knife at me. “There’s just not a whole lotta use for it. In an extreme survival situation, you can drain the blood into a jug or canteen and drink from that.”

  I gagged. “Drink the blood?” Dracula had nothing on Sam.

  Sam nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve had to do that a few times.”

  What the hell? “This isn’t going to be some rite of passage or something later on, is it?” I asked, pointing at the poor snuffler. “Like, making me drink the blood of the innocent to become a [Battleguard]?”

  Sam snorted. “Of course not.” She shook the snuffler up and down a few times. The last remnants of blood dribbled into the soil, and Sam nodded her approval. “You got some funny ideas in that head of yours, Matt.”

  “It’s one of my better qualities, I think.”

  “I’d have to agree.” She flashed a sideways smile. “You’re a lot of fun.”

  I returned her smile. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it. Alright, this little guy should be pretty clean by now.” She and I stood up, and she tied the Encroacher to her belt.

  Something I’d learned about Sam was how meticulous she was about keeping her gear in good shape. She used a rag out of her [Cat Pack] to wipe away the blood on her knife, and she’d been very careful with where she kept her poleaxe when it wasn’t in use.

  I looked down at my axe, still coated in the snuffler’s blood. There was a second shade above the blood that resembled rust, so I scratched at it. Flakes peeled off to reveal dark spots in the steel. I’d never cleaned my weapons before, and seeing the dark spots in the steel worried me that I might’ve damaged to a point of no return.

  “Whatcha doin’ there?” Sam asked as she hefted her poleaxe over her shoulder.

  “Uh, nothing,” I said, embarrassment rising to my face.

  “Didn’t look like nothin’. Come on, speak up. We’re partners out here, just you and I. I won’t judge.”

  I licked my lips, hoping against hope that what was probably Weapon Care 101 wouldn’t be seen as negligence on my part. “I, uh, was thinking of taking better care of my weapons.”

  Sam blinked twice and tilted her head to one side. “What do you mean?”

  “I saw how you wiped the blood off of your knife, and uhhh, I’ve never done anything like that.” Sam gaped, and I kept going. “With anything I own.”

  “That’s not good. Did no one ever teach you?”

  I shook my head. Come to think of it, I could’ve learned from Espada or Ceres, but I guess it went to show how elementary weapon care was to most people.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  “We’ll add it to the list,” Sam said, glancing at my axe. “We’ll need to get that cleaned up as soon as possible.” She retrieved the rag she used earlier and handed it to me. “Here, start off with getting the blood off, then we’ll take a better look at it and see if we can’t fix what’s damaged.”

  “I hope it’s not too bad,” I muttered as I balled the rag and drew it across one side of the flat of my axe.

  “How long have you had that weapon?”

  I had to think about it. “A few months, I think?”

  Sam rocked her jaw. Not good, huh? “Alright, I’ll take a look at it later. With how fresh the snuffler is, it’s important we skin and butcher it before anything else.”

  “Alright.” The blood proved to be much stickier than I was expecting. I managed to get most of it off, then handed the rag back to Sam, who promptly returned it to her pack.

  Everything was just as we’d left it by the time we got back. The sun was over the horizon, and its familiar warmth swept away the feelings of inadequacy prying at my chest. Sam set her poleaxe down and undid the snuffler from her belt, leaning it against the edge of the firepit, face up. Then she walked into the tent and came back out with a roll of thin fabric. She unfurled the roll beside the firepit, then transferred the snuffler to it.

  “Alright, Matt. Watch and learn,” she said. I kneeled beside her on her left, setting my axe next to her poleaxe. Sam withdrew a second knife on the opposite side of her belt and drew it across the fabric. Using her one hand, she rolled up the rest of the fabric and set it behind her. “Now, beggars can’t be choosers, unfortunately. I would’ve preferred to demonstrate on an Encroacher with thicker skin. Less room to mess up that way. But the snuffler is what we found, so that’s what we’re practicing with.”

  I nodded. “Okay. What do I do first?”

  “So, first of all”—she lay the snuffler on its back and used her hands to splay its arms and legs—“you wanna typically cut down the belly. This is the toughest part, because you don’t want to cut the stomach or bladder and risk ruining all of the meat.”

  Well, that’s a thought I’ll never be able to get out of my head.

  “That’s why we use a skinning knife.” She held it up for me to see. “See how the edge is smaller and slightly curved? That’ll help us make the cut we need.” She brought the knife to the wound I’d created with my axe. “You’re going to make an incision that cuts just below the skin.” Carefully, she guided the blade down the creature’s body, drawing a thin line from top to bottom. Then she dug the point under the left side and created another line that led to its side. She recreated the same cut on the creature’s right, then set the knife aside. “Now, we can open it up like the flaps on an envelope.”

  This really doesn’t bother her at all. How am I ever going to do this without vomiting?

  Beads of sweat collected on my forehead as I watched, and I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand. Then a thought occurred to me.

  “Hey, do you mind if I note this down?” I asked.

  Sam grinned. “Not at all!”

  “Thanks. Appear, iPaw.” The device hummed into existence in my hand. I made my way to the note-taking program I requested from Ai, then nodded for Sam to continue.

  “Fancy,” Sam said. “I’ve only seen that thing a handful of times.”

  “It’s a bit overrated,” I chuckled. “So, what do I do next?”

  Sam took me through each step, noting which organs were important to keep and which to throw away. She made it a point to get rid of the useless organs in a location far from camp, so as to avoid predators. A snuffler’s meat was apparently very gamey, much like a rabbit’s. She used the snuffler’s body as an example of where to cut for other types of animals, and I noted every word on the iPaw.

  When she was finished, we had a lot more meat than I was expecting. Sam had turned the snuffler’s body into two racks of small ribs and two pairs of thighs and breasts. They were much smaller than a chicken’s; less plump as well. But there was plenty of food for both of us.

  “Phew. Does that all make sense?” Sam asked.

  “It does.” I smiled and dismissed the iPaw. “I feel like I can be, well, pretty honest with you. So I’ll admit there were more than a handful of times where I felt like I was going to throw up.”

  “But you didn’t,” Sam said while she cleaned her skinning knife. “The same can’t be said of many of my subordinates.”

  That surprised me. “Really?”

  “Mhm!” Sam returned the knife to its sheath. “Now, let’s cook this baby up. Think you can handle it while I get rid of the remains?”

  Take care of the fun part? That I can do. “Sure thing. I’ll be here.”

  “Awesome. Be back in a bit.” Sam piled the remains of the snuffler onto the tarp and tied it into a neat ball, carrying it at her side. She draped her poleaxe over her shoulder, then disappeared into the forest.

  I think I’ll turn this into a stew. I retrieved the pot that Sam had set aside and hoisted it from the tripod we had inside the tent. Starting up the fire was a breeze. With the extra sticks we’d collected the night prior, it sprang to life with ease. I poured some of the water into the pot from our canteen and brought it to a boil. That should be good enough.

  One by one, I slipped the pieces of snuffler meat into the pot. Right about now, I would’ve killed for Cannoli’s cooking collection or Keke’s ability to locate fresh and clean herbs, but I could leave that part to Sam when she got back. I considered going through her belongings to find salt or pepper at the very least, but I wanted to respect her privacy, so I restrained myself.

  About twenty minutes went by before Sam returned, the bag absent from her person. She waved as she broke through the clearing and took a seat beside me.

  “Ooooh, a stew.” She sniffed the broth and licked her lips. “Do you like pepper?”

  Damn it, I knew it. “Love it.”

  “Great. I’ll get some out of my pack.” She disappeared inside the tent and came back out with two small pouches. “Never leave home without my spice pouches.”

  Come to think of it… I reached into my [Cat Pack] and plucked the spice pouch from within. “I got a few more spices myself, if you want to go through them. They’re mostly [Energy] spices.”

  “Oh, that’d be great! We’ll need plenty of [Energy] for the day.” Sam set her weapon beside the fire and loomed over the pot. “Yeah, this is nice, but let’s spruce it up a bit.” She motioned for my pouch, and I handed it over. She pulled open all three pouches, sniffing the occasional herb and rubbing it between her fingers. I counted at least four spices that she threw into that pot, though I was too damn tired and hungry to ask which ones she’d used.

  “Okay, that should be perfect,” Sam said, batting her hands of the dust. “While that’s cookin’, let’s talk about your weapons.” She looked over her shoulder, then reached over to grab my axe. Holding it with both hands, she tilted it to one side, then the other. She scratched at the brown stuff that I could only assume was rust, then clicked her tongue a few times. “Well, the good news is that it’s of good make.”

  “And the bad news?” I braced.

  “It’s damaged. Whoever forged it did a fantastic job, but that’s only goin’ to get ya so far. When did you sharpen it last?”

  “Uhhhh. I haven’t.”

  “Oh.” A brief silence swept over us, but Sam quickly recovered. “Well. Today you’re gonna learn.”

  Volume One is out now on eBook, Kindle Unlimited, Paperback, and Audible! , , , and are available on eBook, Kindle Unlimited, and Paperback.

  Thanks for reading!

  Be sure to check out our for early access chapters, full-size artwork, acrylic pins, and more. Subscribe to the monthly for exclusive updates and coupons!

  Many thanks to our Patrons!

  Berserker Tier: SkySom, [William Martin]

  Scholar: Jack Sparrow, Flaming Moose, DiscountDan, Alex Bagster-Collins, Zachary C

  Curator: PhantomKnight, nick0, Runecaster, Lazarus G, LT_Ashpole, 0hawkclaw0, Sir Joe, Janna Shi Island’s Fury, Lord Taxus, Miles, Tim W., Gavin D, Zarkis, Carlos M, Neko1967, Pyromaniac, Kat S, Rieka Hunt

  Powerhalf, Mitchell Aberson, Matt[hew] D Christensen, Travis, JC Quinn, HariboHeadHunter, King Jerkera, waymogunz, Phil, Centhi, Khii, Matt[hew] Johnson, Jason Walker, Belkorin, Rodney the Paladin, ICE.Paragon, Kyle McCoy, Cameron Garfalk, blackmambauk, NekoPix, Zerum Sparklez, Joshua williams, Michelle Hundt, Dave, Emily, Skade, Rosalee, SyloSpectre, Tonk, Twelve, hanani, Shags, Ranger Frank, Zak Stromquist, Spencer decoteau, Jacob Moore, Alex H Cowley, Zeklor, Neko1967, KH, Bilman, VKandis, ProfessorComputerMan, Victor Bugg, Vir Honestus, Steve Tatum, Brooke Grace, Hock, kenneth york, Kat L, WarptheSynth, Aaron A, Queen Toast, GreatFireLegend, Ryan E, Draxx127, Wesley F, Bakenecro, BeanSauce, StarTin, Myrmarked, Bryan O, Mister Drake, Hahn Feder, Elissia, Lumberjack0716, stupidhand, Zaq, Aaron C, MrMcmuffin, Wesley Jace, Marisa Eldridge, Michael KochKetola, danjiro, B’rye Ahn, DobbyIII

  Please remember to follow, favorite, and rate!

  Patreon | |