Becky and Jeff just turned one year old and they were almost fully grown. The dogs were happiest when we all got together at Helen’s house. They would greet each other for about five minutes and Ginger would take off and they all would give chase, sometimes they would be gone for about an hour and Rosie or Jeff would bring back a dead something or other, then they would all lay in the shade.

  Helen proposed that we have a big Thanksgiving party: “I for one, am very thankful for being part of your lives. Never in my life have I had so much support, both physical and emotional. Your trust and friendship mean more than any of you can imagine. I have read about friendships in books, TV and on-line, but I guess I never really had a best friend, now I have three, plus the five dogs.” Helen concluded her carefully prepared speech that brought tears to Jillian’s eyes as she stood up and hugged Helen.

  “Well, if we're going to celebrate, Helen and I need to go shopping!” Jillian said with enthusiasm. Scotty and I planned on moving a huge power converter from one of the buildings. Scotty figured out why the other three caught fire but his workshop had all the necessary tools.

  “Tomorrow then, we will meet…” I started to say as Jillian interrupted. “Helen and I need to go shopping today! You two finish moving that… whatever it is to Scotty’s and we will all meet at our house at six o’clock!” Jillian said excited at the opportunity to go shopping alone with Helen for a party, pulling her in close.

  “Thanksgiving isn’t till next week… right?” Scotty asked as I shook my head in agreement.

  “Honestly, between the two of you, what day do you think today is?” Jillian asked as Scotty said Monday and I said Saturday at the exact same time, looking at each other hoping at least one of us was correct. Jillian just rolled her eyes.

  “Okay, okay! Take the dogs and the AA-12.” I said.

  “We’ll take Rosie, Becky, Ginger and Jeff, you take Pete.” Jillian said and we all agreed. The dogs were excited as we packed them up knowing they were going to work.

  “Six o’clock, our house. At 6:01 Scotty and I start drinking.” I said kissing Jillian goodbye inside the Suburban. Pete was a little confused as they drove away but helping us secure the power converter to the small trailer kept him focused, as we pulled ratchet straps from his pack.

  We were doing about thirty miles per hour down a long stretch of road when something ran out in front of Scotty’s truck. The impact was severe enough for him to lose control and the trailer jumped off the hitch, spinning us around one hundred eighty degrees.

  “Everybody okay?” Scotty asked. My head hit the edge of the half open window causing a pretty good gash, Pete was fine.

  “Just sit right there.” Scotty said as he got out of the truck and opened Pete’s pack looking for the first aid kit. My hands were full of blood as well as my favorite Hawaiian shirt.

  “It’s not that bad, four maybe five stitches.” Scotty said as he inspected the wound and Pete sniffing the blood and concerned. It hurt like hell, but I could not believe my eyes.

  “Scotty?” I said. “What the hell is that?” Pointing to the middle of the road with a bloody index finger. Scotty did a double take. “What the…?” Scotty said as he finished wrapping a gauze bandage around my head as I stared at what was lying in the road, blinking my eyes trying to focus.

  “You, okay?” Scotty asked me.

  “Dizzy, and a little out of it.” I said.

  “Good. You stay here.” Scotty said getting a pistol from the glove box.

  “Pete. Come.” Scotty said as Pete jumped out of the backseat and they cautiously walked on the opposite sides of the road approaching it. Pete’s fur was standing on end as Scotty nudged it with his foot and gun drawn. Scotty turned his head in my direction with a big toothy smile. Pete approached it, sniffing. Scotty ran back to the truck giggling.

  “Thanksgiving dinner son! It’s a pig! Well, it WAS a pig, now it’s dinner!” Scotty said excitedly.

  “Holy Shit! You kidding me! Ouch.” I said holding my head.

  “The trailer and converter are toast.” Scotty said looking at the underside of the trailer in a ditch. “But we got ourselves a prize hog!” I have never seen Scotty this excited before and it was painful to laugh, but it was difficult not to. Scotty backed the truck up and struggled to get it in the bed of the pickup.

  “Damn! He’s about a hundred pounder!” Scotty said rather loudly and out of breath as he entered the truck with Pete, who sat next to me and licked my bloody hands. He drove as quickly as possible to his house. He cleaned out the cut and wrapped my head with a fresh bandage.

  “It’s been about ten years since I dressed a pig, some things you just don’t forget. Ham, pork chops, tenderloin, bacon. I’ll just need you to package, okay?” Scotty said with great enthusiasm.

  I could not believe the mess and the smell was just awful. I was slowly getting used to smaller animals and fish but this was definitely next level. Scotty breathed in deep through his nose and exhaled.

  “You never quite get used to it, do ya!” He said as he made his initial cuts causing the guts to spill out on the ground with surgical precision. Scotty butchered and handed me beautiful sections to package and place on ice. He divided everything in half and saved tonight’s dinner in a separate cooler. Scotty was covered in blood and smiling with a cleaver in hand. I just had to take a picture or two. Scotty gave me some pain killers that worked just fine.

  “Four fifteen, I need to wash up and we need to go! You, okay?” Scotty asked me.

  “I’m good.” I said as I drank some sort of citrus drink with coarse pulp.

  “Keep drinking that, I’ll be back in ten minutes, don’t fall asleep, okay?” Scotty said.

  “No problem, I’m getting hungry now.” I said.

  “Meeeee too!” Scotty replied.

  As we drove into Malibu the skies were cloudy with a promise of some rain. Scotty assisted me to the big comfy couch in the living room as Pete jumped up and sat next to me. He poured me another glass of the citrus drink from a container he brought along.

  “What is this I’m drinking?” I asked.

  “Helen gave it to me and said that I should drink it. I think it tastes like shit, but I did not want to waste it.” he said.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “It’s not my favorite, but I’m sure it’s nutritious.” I said as Scotty filled our freezer with the contents from a green cooler.

  “Okay if I use the freezer in the garage?” he asked. “Help yourself.” I said as I watched the darkening clouds roll in while sitting on the couch looking outside. I closed my eyes for a split second and opened them to see Jillian’s face right in front of mine, as she looked into my eyes and started removing the bandage.

  “How do you feel?” Jillian asked.

  “Headache, vision is a little fuzzy, kind of, horny.” I said. I could feel her fingers pressing near the wound.

  “You need a couple of stitches, help me get him in the spare bedroom.” Jillian said as Scotty hoisted me up and walked me to the bedroom.

  “The pain killer Scotty gave me is wearing off, did he show you the surprise?” I asked.

  “No, this is going to pinch a little.” Jillian said as she administered a local and in full doctor mode. Everyone knows when a doctor says ‘it is going to pinch a little’ is a lie. Helen, Scotty and all the dogs were present as Jillian stitched me up.

  “Aren’t I the popular one.” I said looking around as Helen and Scotty assisted Jillian and the dogs sat quietly.

  “Stop moving!” Jillian said through gritted teeth as I heard her snip the stitch.

  “Looks like Greg is enjoying this!” Helen said as she drew attention to my obvious erection in my pants. I quickly placed my hands over it.

  “I can’t help it. Jillian is so sexy when she is concentrating.” I said.

  “Stop talking and stop moving!” Jillian said.

  “All done.” Jillian said as she secured a fresh bandage around my head.

  “Did you tell them?” I asked Scotty.

  “Tell us what?” Helen and Jillian asked.

  “No. Not yet.” he said trying to conceal his smile as he helped me up and stood with his arm around me.

  “We are going to prepare the main course for this evening! Greg, I’m going to step away from you now because, frankly… I’m not very comfortable.” Scotty said looking straight ahead. Helen and Jillian looked at my pants and burst into laughter as I was pointing directly at Scotty.

  “Fair enough, you two prepare the main course, and we will prepare,” Jillian gave Helen a devious look. “Everything else.”

  “You have to promise not to peak into the grill.” Scotty warned.

  “We promise.” Helen and Jillian agreed. He made sure Helen and Jillian were upstairs after multiple trips from the garage.

  “Smoked tenderloin! Can you get the grill ready?” he whispered with concern.

  “Yes, that sounds perfect. Low and Slow.” I said with a smile. “Low and slow!” Scotty confirmed. Jillian and Helen came from the upstairs bedroom holding two black garment bags.

  “Here is your, ‘attire’ for this evening.” Helen said.

  “We went to three different stores and spent thousands of dollars!” Jillian added.

  “We can’t afford that!” I said with my hands on my hips.

  “We think you are worth it.” Jillian said.

  “And how much did you spend?” Scotty asked Helen in a harsh tone. Helen walked up to Scotty and handed him his garment bag.

  “My earrings alone were six figures.” Helen said confronting his question.

  “So… all you're gonna wear is earrings? Might be a bit drafty.” Scotty said shrugging his shoulders and looking toward me. Helen looked surprised for a moment then winked at Scotty.

  “Is this, yours?” Helen asked Scotty pointing to the half full glass of citrus juice on the end table next to the couch.

  “No, I mean yes, yes, it’s mine, but I gave some to Greg after he hit his head.” Scotty said, eventually creating a sentence that worked, trying to hide the fact that he thought it tasted like shit. Helen chuckled.

  “How much did you have to drink?” Helen asked me politely.

  “About a glass and a half.” I said with growing concern.

  “How does it taste?” Helen asked in the same polite tone.

  “Not bad.” I said.

  “You're a liar. It tastes awful.” Helen said walking up to Jillian and placing her hand on Jillian’s shoulder.

  “Sweetie, drink plenty of fluids.” Helen said to Jillian as she just looked confused as Helen grabbed her hand and both went upstairs.

  “What’s that all about?” I questioned Scotty.

  “Ohhh!” Scotty said in a sudden vision of clarity. “Helen gave me that one evening, she made me drink about a half a glass.” Scotty said in a humorous tone.

  “AND….!” I said slightly agitated.

  “Well, let’s just say I set a personal record, and she lit up like a Christmas tree.” Scotty said proudly.

  “So, exactly how long am I going to be bumping into everything?” I asked, laughing a little as Scotty walked away giggling.

  I sat on the deck and tended the grill carefully monitoring the temperature. The dogs playing in the backyard and going in and out of the pool as I sat smoking a cigar with my pup tent, acutely aware of its current state and specific design intention. Jillian and Helen came down to prepare appetizers and ‘something that goes with something smoked’ as Scotty said to answer their question as to what to include.

  “Something must have spilled on the floor that the dogs like because they can’t seem to leave the kitchen.” Helen said working around the dogs.

  “How long Greg?” Jillian yelled from the kitchen.

  “Me or the grill?” I asked.

  “Both!” Jillian responded laughing.

  “I guess that depends on how hungry you are.” I said.

  “Very!” Jillian said still laughing.

  “Were all getting hungry, we need to kick it up a notch.” Scotty said walking out to the deck with a glass of wine.

  “How about thirty minutes?” I said checking the temperature and adjusting the air vent.

  “Scotty? Please help me set the table.” Helen said to Scotty as Jillian came out on the deck and I quickly closed the lid on the grill.

  “Thirty minutes, okay. That smells so good! And don’t drink too much of that, okay?” Jillian said pointing to the glass of wine.

  “It doesn’t taste very good, maybe it’s just me.” I said as Jillian picked it up, smelled it and drank it all down in one gulp.

  “Tastes fine to me! How about some coffee? I got you a new French press today.” Jillian said as she unwrapped the bandage on my head and inspected my wound.

  “That would be great, thank you.” I said.

  “Coffee is the better choice; besides, I have all kinds of plans for that!” Jillian said looking at my ‘condition’ and walking away. The pork was done just right, I wrapped it in foil and placed it in a tray. Scotty stood on the patio deck adjusting his neck tie looking like a bank executive.

  “That looks like a tailor-made suit, how can women properly size clothing for someone else?” I said to Scotty standing up.

  “It’s missing something…” I said. “A pocket watch, it needs a fancy pocket watch.” I said.

  “You better get ready; I’ll finish up here.” Scotty said as I exited the patio and changed in one of the downstairs bedrooms. The suit Jillian picked out for me was very dark brown, fit perfectly, shoes were snug, but comfortable.

  I put the camera on a tripod in the corner of the room and started to record when Jillian and Helen made their entrance. Jillian and Helen appeared arm in arm with just the biggest of smiles. The sun was setting and the golden glow refracted prisms off their tastefully adorned jewelry.

  Jillian was wearing a very short white cocktail dress that was very sheer, the details of her garter belt clearly visible as well as her breasts. Her hair was all bunched up on top and her make-up was slutty, but subtle, if that’s possible. Helen’s vibrant red hair was styled similar to Jillian’s, but different. Her short green cocktail dress had a plunging neck line that tastefully displayed her ample breasts that were free from any restraint.

  “Wow.” I said quietly.

  “My word!” Scotty said just as quiet.

  “I think Greg’s pants speak for the both of us.” Scotty said.

  “You two look just so handsome!” Helen said as we greeted our significant other with gracious admiration. The dogs, who have been circling us like buzzards for hours between the refrigerator and the grill inspected Jillian and Helen due to the fact of their expensive perfume that filled the room.

  “I have a confession to make.” Scotty said as he uncorked a bottle of Champagne, and pouring it into four glasses.

  “I lied about the accident; it was not a tire that caused my failure to control my vehicle; this was…” Scotty said as he took the lid off the sterling silver tray of beautifully arranged smoked pork.

  “FUCK ME!” Jillian said louder than necessary as the contrasting smell of smoked pork filled the room.

  “Is that a, tenderloin? Helen asked staring in dis-belief. Scotty held up his glass of champagne and we all stood to toast.

  “Let’s all give thanks. The unfortunate events that lead us here to be together and the lives that we now live is both a blessing wrapped in a curse. Maybe one day we will all be able to understand or make sense of all this, but for now, let’s celebrate.”

  We all toasted and proceeded to dine on roadkill, in a mansion, overlooking the Pacific Ocean, in Malibu California, watching the sunset dressed in clothes and jewelry, that at one time, only the most fortunate were able to afford. The level of obscurity that allowed us to acquire any material possession was slowly receding into what is most economical and functional. Only a few years ago, having every possible luxury item would seem as though it was a measure of one’s success. Now we measure success by maximizing yield from crops, how many miles we can travel on Scotty’s fuel and how effectively we utilize green energy, water volume and purity.