All eyes were on me.
Again.
This was starting to feel real familiar.
Marta gred at me, tapping the book against her palm.
Brent cracked his knuckles.
Garron sighed.
Elise?
Elise looked like she was enjoying this.
“So.” Marta narrowed her eyes. “Care to expin why this book has nothing useful in it?”
I held up a finger.
“Ah. See, here’s the thing. That’s not my fault.”
“Oh, really?” Marta scoffed. “Because you’re the one who sold it to us.”
I crossed my arms.
“Okay, let’s break this down, shall we? You wanted a book about diseases, right? I got you a book about diseases.”
Marta’s eye twitched.
“That doesn’t have our disease in it.”
I pointed. “Not my problem.”
Brent took a menacing step forward.
I took a defensive step back.
“Alright, alright. Maybe it’s a little my problem.”
Marta waved the book. “This thing is completely useless! We wasted our st gold coin on this!”
I winced. “Okay, ‘useless’ is a strong word—”
“IT HAS A CHAPTER ON RABID CHICKENS!”
“…That could be useful someday.”
Brent growled.
I held up my hands.
“Look. Did I personally check to see if your exact pgue was in there? No.”
“Then why did you sell it?” Marta snapped.
I put on my best salesman smile.
“Because, my dear, wise, and powerful retired adventurer, knowledge is invaluable. It’s an investment. Even if this particur book doesn’t have the cure, there’s still a wealth of knowledge in there that could save lives!”
Silence.
Marta squinted.
Brent rolled his shoulders.
Garron rubbed his temples.
Elise was ughing into her fist.
Marta crossed her arms.
“Alright. Let’s say you weren’t completely scamming us. What now?”
I thought fast.
My bance after all my purchases:
2,178.50 → 1,414.50
Not bad. I could still work with this.
“Simple. I get a new book.”
Marta raised an eyebrow. “With what money?”
I grinned.
“That’s for me to worry about.”
Elise rolled her eyes.
Brent crossed his arms. “And if THIS book is also useless?”
I shrugged. “Then clearly, this is a really difficult disease to diagnose.”
Marta squinted. “That’s not an answer.”
“Sure it is. It’s just not one you like.”
Brent cracked his knuckles again.
I cleared my throat.
“Okay, okay! I’ll find something useful, I swear! Just give me a second.”
Marta tapped her foot impatiently.
I flipped open my marketpce and started searching.
Alright. Let’s see.
Book of Common Illnesses – 100Herbal Remedies of the Ancients – 75Diagnosing Pgues and Poisons – 200Curses, Hexes, and Madies – 500That st one…
I clicked on the description.
Curses, Hexes, and MadiesA comprehensive guide to identifying and curing common magical and non-magical afflictions.
Covers over 300 known diseases, curses, and ailments.Includes step-by-step treatments, ingredients, and symptom breakdowns.Written by Archmage Elric Davorian and High Priestess Lyria Faene.DISCLAIMER: Does NOT include solutions for advanced magical pgues or newly mutated diseases.I paused.
That st part… didn’t sound promising.
But still.
It was better than the first book.
I nodded.
“This.”
Marta squinted. “What?”
I tapped the page. “This book. This is the one.”
Garron looked over my shoulder. “How much?”
"One gold coin.”
Brent gritted his teeth. “Another gold?!”
I grinned.
“It’s written by an Archmage AND a High Priestess. If this book doesn’t have your cure, then NOTHING will.”
Marta exhaled. “Fine. We’ll buy it.”
I paused.
Then, slowly, I grinned wider.
“For one and a half gold.”
Marta froze.
Brent froze.
Elise choked on air.
Garron just stared at me.
Marta gred. “You DO realize we’re broke, right?”
I winced.
“…Yes.”
Marta sighed.
“One gold.”
I shook my head.
“One and a half.”
Marta gave me a long, deadpan stare.
“We. Don’t. Have. That.”
I paused.
Then scratched my chin.
“Alright. Fine. One gold.”
Marta exhaled.
She gestured to Garron.
Garron grumbled and pulled out their st gold coin.
He handed it to me.
I grinned.
I opened my marketpce and bought the book.
1,414.50 → 914.50
A thick, leather-bound tome plopped onto the elder’s desk.
Marta snatched it up.
She flipped it open.
Her eyes scanned the pages.
Then—
She froze.
The room was silent.
I slowly leaned forward.
“…So?”
Marta’s lips pressed into a thin line.
Then she closed the book.
She looked at me.
Then at Brent.
Then at Garron.
Then—
She sighed.
“It has some useful information…”
I grinned.
Then Marta frowned.
“But it also covers things like ‘Warts and Their Magical Origins.’”
I blinked.
“…Okay, but is the disease in there?”
Marta scowled.
She flipped through a few more pages.
Then paused.
Her expression shifted.
“…Maybe.”
I nodded.
“See? Worth it.”
Marta exhaled.
Then she pointed the book at me.
“You still scammed us.”
I smirked.
“Technically, you made the deal.”
Brent groaned.
Elise just ughed.
Marta?
Marta looked like she was going to beat me with the book.
I took a step back.
“Sooo… Let’s cure this pgue, huh?”
I flicked open my Buy & Sell window and sold the Imperial Gold Coin.
914.50 → 1,514.50
Nice. I actually made a profit.
Marta, meanwhile, was flipping through the massive tome with the kind of focus that suggested she’d probably kill me if this didn’t have what she needed.
Then—
She stopped.
Her eyes narrowed.
She read something, lips moving silently before she exhaled sharply.
“…Shit.”
Brent tensed. “What is it?”
Marta cleared her throat and read aloud:
“‘Malefic Decay. A slow-acting magical affliction designed to weaken a popution over time, spreading like a natural disease but resistant to ordinary healing methods. Causes fever, lethargy, internal bleeding, and eventual death.’”
I blinked.
“That sounds… pretty bad.”
Marta snorted. “Understatement of the year.”
Brent crossed his arms. “So what does that mean?”
Marta sighed. “It’s a spell.”
That got everyone’s attention.
Garron’s face darkened. Elise looked shocked.
Even the elder, who had been quietly listening, sat up straighter.
“…What?” Garron said.
Marta nodded. “This isn’t a natural disease. It was cast.”
I winced. “So someone did this on purpose?”
“Looks that way.”
“Great. Just great.” I rubbed my face. “Alright. So, what level of crazy are we dealing with here?”
Marta scanned the page again. “Says here it has to be cast by at least a Fifth Circle Mage.”
I blinked.
Then shrugged.
“Alright. So that’s not too bad, right? I mean, it’s not like it’s a Tenth Circle spell or anything.”
Everyone stared at me.
I looked around.
“…What?”
Marta closed the book with a thud and gave me a long, tired look.
“Dan. A Fifth Circle Mage is not ‘not too bad.’ That’s a serious problem.”
I frowned. “Wait. Hold on. Didn’t the elder say earlier that Tenth Circle was the highest? So like… if Fifth is halfway, that’s basically average, right?”
Marta blinked.
Then snorted.
Then full-on ughed.
Elise grinned.
Garron shook his head.
The elder just sighed.
“Boy, you don’t understand magic at all, do you?” Marta said.
I crossed my arms. “Clearly not.”
Marta sighed. “Alright, listen up. A First Circle Mage is already rare. Most spellcasters never even reach that level. To hit Second? That’s an achievement. Third? You’re either born with insane talent or trained by a powerful mage. Fourth? That’s basically someone important in any major city. But Fifth?”
She paused for emphasis.
“There are only a few hundred Fifth Circle Mages in the entire kingdom.”
I raised an eyebrow. “So… still kinda average.”
Marta threw her hands up. “No! It’s NOT average! Gods, you’re impossible!”
Elise grinned. “You really don’t know when to shut up, do you?”
“Nope. Never have, never will.”
Garron sighed. “Point is, if a Fifth Circle Mage is behind this, we’re in trouble.”
“Bigger trouble than we already were?” I asked.
Marta gave me a deadpan look.
“We’re quarantined, broke, surrounded by burned-down homes, and a bunch of us are dying. Yes, Dan. Bigger trouble.”
“…Fair point.”
Brent frowned. “So how do we break the spell?”
Marta flipped the book back open.
“There’s a cure.”
Everyone leaned in.
Then—
Marta’s face fell.
Elise noticed immediately. “That bad?”
Marta grumbled. “I hate this boy.”
“What did I do?!” I protested.
Marta gred at me. “The ingredients aren’t common.”
I sighed.
“Of course they aren’t.”
Brent crossed his arms. “What do we need?”
Marta read from the book.
“First: Sagegrass, three bundles.”
Garron nodded. “We can find that nearby.”
“Next: Moonbloom petals, five.”
The elder frowned. “We might have some stored away, but not five.”
Marta continued.
“Silver Ash Powder.”
Garron sighed. “That’s going to be hard to find.”
Marta flipped to the next page.
She stopped.
Then let out a dry ugh.
“…Well. That’s unfortunate.”
I squinted. “What?”
She turned the book so we could all see.
My stomach dropped.
Final Ingredient:
The heart of a Queen Web Lurker (Freshly extracted within 48 hours.)Silence.
I slowly turned.
Elise?
She was staring at me.
Garron?
He was rubbing his temples.
Brent?
Looked like he was about to punch a wall.
Marta?
She was already closing the book and giving me a murderous gre.
I swallowed.
“Sooo… I might have… already sold that.”
Marta’s fist clenched.
Brent cursed under his breath.
Garron sighed deeply.
Elise just grinned.
“Dan.” Elise said sweetly.
I gulped.
“…Yeah?”
Elise leaned in.
“You’re dead.”
I held up a finger.
“Wait. Wait-wait-wait.”
Everyone stared.
I grinned, feeling way too clever for my own good.
“I can just buy it back.”
Marta’s gre softened—just a little.
Garron raised an eyebrow.
Brent still looked like he wanted to punch something.
Elise smirked. “Oh? Gonna use that scam skill of yours to save the day?”
“Damn right.” I pulled up my Buy & Sell window and tapped into the Buy Back tab.
There it was.
Queen Web Lurker Corpse
Buy Back Price: 7,500.01I blinked.
“…What the fuck?”
Marta narrowed her eyes. “What?”
I pointed at the absolutely bullshit number on my screen.
“They’re charging me seven THOUSAND five hundred dolrs!”
Silence.
Elise tilted her head. “Is that a lot?”
I snorted. “Oh no, Elise. It’s pocket change. I could totally afford that. In an alternate universe where I was a goddamn billionaire.”
Marta crossed her arms. “So what you’re saying is…”
I sighed.
“Yeah. Scratch that. That corpse is gone and never coming back.”
Brent grumbled under his breath.
Garron sighed. “That’s a problem.”
The elder stroked his beard. “We can get most of what we need. Might take a few days, but it’s possible.”
Marta nodded. “We can find Silver Ash Powder. Moonbloom petals might be tricky, but we’ll manage. The problem is the damn Queen Web Lurker.”
I shrugged.
“Why don’t we just kill another one? Not like the first one was that hard.”
Silence.
Elise tilted her head.
Marta stared at me like I had just suggested we fistfight a dragon.
Garron muttered, “You are either the bravest or dumbest person I’ve ever met.”
Brent?
Brent groaned.
Marta shook her head. “We got lucky, boy. Do you know how rare that was?”
I waved her off.
“Yeah, yeah. But it’s possible.”
Marta scoffed. “You don’t just go looking for a Queen Web Lurker. It doesn’t work that way.”
I crossed my arms.
“The st one kind of did.”
Elise smirked. “None of us wanted that to appear.”
“Still happened.”
Marta pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Listen, you dumb bastard. A Queen Web Lurker only leaves its nest if there’s a serious threat to it, or if its young are in danger. That one only came out because you killed its baby.”
I blinked.
Then nodded.
“Soooo… we just find another baby and kill it?”
Brent looked absolutely horrified.
“Are you insane?!”
“I mean, statistically speaking, it should work, right?”
Marta sighed. “In theory, yes. But do you know how hard it is to actually find one?”
Elise sighed. “They nest deep in the forest, away from people. You could walk for days and never find one. And if we DO find one, it’s going to be in a nest full of other Web Lurkers.”
I nodded.
“Right. Sounds like a suicide mission.”
Marta grinned. “Gd you understand.”
I cpped my hands together.
“Cool. Well, good luck. I’ll hold down the fort while you all go handle that.”
Marta ughed.
Elise grinned.
Brent sighed.
Garron?
Garron just patted me on the shoulder.
“You’re coming with us.”
I froze.
“…What?”
Elise smirked. “Oh, you didn’t think we’d let you stay behind, did you?”
Marta grinned. “You started this mess. You’re helping clean it up.”
I stared.
My brain short-circuited.
“…Nope. No, no, no. This was not part of the deal.”
“Too bad.” Marta tapped my forehead with her cane. “Consider it part of your contract.”
I groaned.
Elise cpped me on the back. “Don’t worry. You might actually get some combat experience this time.”
I gred at her. “You mean instead of running and spraying things?”
She grinned. “Exactly.”
I looked at all of them.
They looked back at me.
None of them were joking.
I was actually going on this death march.
“…This is the worst day of my life.”
Elise smirked. “Oh, it’s only going to get worse.”
