"Where should I begin..." Alice mused.

  I shrugged. "Wherever you want. Take your time. The road isn't going anywhere in a hurry. Speaking of which..." I rummaged around my Inventory for the map and took a good look around for anything that might serve as a landmark. There were a few lonely trees scattered throughout the plains, and a singular, gentle hill could be seen in the distance. None of which the cartographer had bothered to note, which I couldn't even really blame him for, considering how... well, unnotable they were.

  After studying the map for a few more seconds, I gave a sage nod in conclusion. "Yup. I have no idea. Don't know why I even bothered, to be honest."

  Seriously, with the exception of the Irina Mountain Range, the local women had steeper slopes than the landscape did. And so far, I hadn't even met anyone with those truly ludicrous proportions I knew to exist in this world.

  Alice slithered a little closer and prodded a finger onto the map without even really looking at it. "There," she said idly.

  I blinked, looking at the finger that was at most a fourth of the distance between Iliasburg and Iliasport. "Legitimately, how?"

  She slowly lifted her finger. "I have seen the continent from up high before. It sufficed to get an approximate sense of distance," she muttered absently, seemingly still lost in thought.

  "...Fair enough," I conceded while doing some mental math.

  It would definitely take at least another day to get there while traveling on foot... unless Alice decided to carry me, I suppose. But while that option no longer seemed as utterly absurd as it would have at the start, it was not one she would come to on her own. Were it solely up to her, she might even want to slow down the pace of our journey if anything. Take in the sights, smell the roses—then eat them. Those sorts of things.

  I could hardly fault her lack of urgency, given her lack of knowledge. Moreover, this was her first real respite from the responsibilities weighing on her ever since her mother died... not that she was getting a whole lot of said respite at this very moment. Still, her concerns would hopefully be easy to assuage once she finally managed to voice them.

  ...Also, she would never let me live it down if I asked her to carry me. It might get me to my destination a bit faster, sure, but I couldn't help but mentally cringe as I imagined her exaggerated retellings to one person in particular. Preferably, I would finish this entire journey without doing anything that would haunt me forever.

  We continued to travel for several minutes until Alice cleared her throat.

  "So... I believe you took note of how terrified the leech girl was at the prospect of potentially violating my decree?"

  I hummed in acknowledgment. "Was kind of wondering about that, actually. It's not like she should have known you were close enough to potentially enact punishment."

  "Fortunately, many low-level monsters are not intelligent enough to realize that part," she said with a wry smile that quickly dropped back into a serious expression. "However, that was not the point I was getting at. What she was afraid of was not merely the thought of punishment but rather its severity. For there is only one penalty for going against the Monster Lord's law... death."

  I paused, somewhat taken aback by that declaration. "Wait... so, if that is the only punishment you have... then if someone were to, say, steal something inside of the castle, would you just ignore them or..." I trailed off.

  "It would depend on what exactly they stole, but you misunderstand." She shook her head. "There generally are rules with lesser punishments in any society of monster girls, including my castle, but those are an entirely separate matter. Someone might spend some time locked up for stealing food, overfeeding on the men to the point of rendering them bedridden, causing damage to the castle..."

  "...Public indecency?" I helpfully added, drawing a small chuff from Alice.

  "The dungeon would have to be expanded to accommodate such a thing." She then squashed the tiny smile that had begun to form on her lips. "Regardless, violating the Monster Lord's direct orders is not such a trivial matter. It is treated the same as treason. And there is only one fate in store for those who would dare go against the Monster Lord, be it monster, man... or otherwise."

  She sighed. "I wish it were different, but any other punishment simply is not enough of a deterrent. Just about anything else is akin to a mere slap on the wrist. Imprisonment, too, is more of a matter of principle with the added purpose of buying time for preventative measures to be instated rather than expecting the perpetrators to rescind their ways."

  "...What about sealing them?" I asked after thinking for a few moments.

  She showed me a bitter smile. "I am afraid all possible options have likely already been considered. The matter of punishment, in particular, is not merely my problem but has persisted throughout the history of monsterkind. Temporary sealing would, once again, be a mere slap on the wrist. As for permanent sealing... For one, it differs too greatly in effect. Some monsters would take the form of a human, others one of an animal... for others still, it would be no different than killing them altogether. Moreover, many would consider living on in any of those states a fate worse than death."

  "...I see," I said with a frown and then paused. "Actually, scratch that. How exactly does this death penalty stuff relate to you making a deliberate loophole in your orders?... Is it just because you don't want to kill off your subordinates, even the ones who won't obey you and cause nothing but harm?"

  Alice took a deep breath. "I will admit I take no joy in the thought of taking lives. However, I would not skirt my responsibilities for such a pitiful reason. I did not merely desire a loophole out of idle sentimentality; I needed one." She looked at me and paused for a moment, seemingly debating whether or not to continue. "Do you know of the Nereneid family?"

  I blinked at the seeming non-sequitur. "Err... Let's say for the sake of argument that I don't... what about them?" I asked. After all, there was no need to give Ilias even more hints of just how much knowledge about this world I actually held. And besides that, I also genuinely had no idea how they could possibly be involved.

  "They branched off the Fateburn line a long time ago. Their current head, Cassandra, is considerably more distantly related to me than an aunt... but unfortunately, most would still regard her as my kin. There are three people in the history of this world I consider irredeemably evil, and she is one of them."

  I nodded slowly, having a good guess who the other two might be. And while they weren't strictly irredeemable... considering the difficulty and amount of effort it would involve, the word pretty much checked out, yeah.

  "Cassandra is considerably powerful in addition to being the only other contender for my mother's throne back in the day. As such, she still holds a great deal of sway, particularly with more extremist monster factions... especially since she never deigned to show up to this generation's Monster Lord Selection to be beaten by me."

  I hummed. "Why not? Is each monster only permitted to participate once?" It seemed a bit odd that someone as power-hungry, both figuratively and literally, as Cassandra would forego an opportunity of such magnitude.

  Alice shook her head. "No. The selection is meant to rid the Monster Lord of such ridiculous power struggles, so barring any participant meeting the bare minimum qualifications from entry would be counterproductive, no matter what their history or morals may be." She scoffed. "I suppose she may have been concerned that the literal battle royale was a pretext for Tamamo and me to join forces against her. A ludicrous notion, considering any one of my Knights would have bested her in single combat with ease, but her ego is even greater than her power." She tilted her head in thought. "Well, perhaps Alma Elma may suffer some injuries against her due to their combat styles being a poor matchup, but she would no doubt ultimately still emerge victorious... if she deigned to fight somewhat seriously, at least."

  Along another slow nod, I considered her words. I hadn't expected Cassandra to still be a political factor, given how she'd more or less isolated herself from the larger world while building her power in recent years. It seemed monsters had good memory at the most inconvenient of times and vice versa. "Still, even if that Cassandra is an issue, I'm not quite drawing the connection between her and the loophole."

  Alice sighed. "Even as it is, my edict has gained me little in the way of popularity. However, the only real damage it does to my reputation is that it makes me seem disdainful of violence, even soft to some." She frowned. "Now, consider you were a monster and I ordered you not to assault humans unless in self-defence. Unable to find a lover, forced to hunger as a perfectly good source of food passed right beneath your nose, having to first take injury before even being allowed to defend yourself under threat of death... would you not resent me, the Monster Lord, giving preferable treatment to humans over you, her own subordinate?"

  She shook her head. "Most would still follow my decree, however begrudgingly. Cassandra would not. And while she would not openly admit to defying me, anyone with functional eyes or ears would know she continues to devour humans. At that point, my only choice would be between either ignoring her actions and watching as more and more monsters begin to disregard my authority and act against my orders, or... to kill her." A disdainful sniff accompanied her words.

  "I would be more than happy to, of course. As would she, given the opportunity. There is no love lost between us... Unfortunately, the rest of monsterkind would take exception to that course of action. Most monsters, Yoma in particular, treasure bonds of blood. And though many may be harsh on their children, they do so only because they believe, perhaps not even mistakenly, that it is the best method to raise them to be strong. To slay your kin, your own family, over a few humans no less, is one of the worst sins one can commit. My choice would be between seeming a tyrant or a weakling. Regardless of which, a rebellion would follow in short order. With Cassandra as either its helm or its symbol."

  I gaped slightly. "A rebellion, just from that?"

  Alice nodded. "I consulted with Tamamo, and we agreed it would be a considerable risk. Rebellions are also not nearly as uncommon as you may believe. The selection typically prevents them from growing into a meaningful size due to lack of a sufficiently powerful leader. However, with the arrogance inherent in Yoma, some rebellions will almost inevitably arise. There have likely been hundreds in recorded history, though usually as a mere footnote, most squashed as quickly as they formed. Only one has ever succeeded... though considering Heinrich was the one to actually kill the Eighth, even their 'success' is debatable."

  And given she didn't actually die, that made it even more dubious still... Not that most people knew about her continued survival. But at least she wasn't on the throne anymore, that already counted for a lot.

  She grimaced. "With Cassandra as a potential powerful leader, and the loyalty of many Queens still tenuous, a rebellion directed at me would be... bigger than most. I do not fear being disposed, not while my Knights remain loyal still... but I do fear the inevitable bloodbath it would result in."

  Well shit.

  I sucked in a breath. I could see Cassandra potentially leading a rebellion, though it seemed far more likely for her to attack Alice on her own. However, one with her as its symbol after her death? She did not seem the kind to be capable of inspiring much of anything other than fear. I genuinely couldn't imagine anyone finding her likable enough to give her the martyr treatment, except maybe her own daughter, and even that was dubious. Honestly, it seemed rather far-fetched to me, but if Tamamo agreed...

  Then again, if I were forced at gunpoint... or swordpoint, as it were, to attribute even so much as a single character flaw to her... it would likely be excessive caution. So maybe... it wasn't actually that likely to happen. What constituted a 'considerable risk' in their minds? Fifty percent, ten, or perhaps even less than that?

  I quickly shook my head, dispelling the unproductive line of reasoning. Maybe Cassandra could be the cause of a rebellion, maybe not. Either way, it was a moot point. A rebellion, or at least something similar, would almost inevitably happen regardless. I could understand Alice's reason for not doing so, but Cassandra needed to be taken care of, even if only to prevent Black Alice from gaining a powerful pawn. Everything else, including the fact her diet included human flesh as well as any other of her misdeeds, was secondary; though it would assure she would receive no mercy.

  "Can't you goad her into attacking you first?" I asked. "Nobody should be able to fault you for getting rid of her after that."

  Rather than seriously considering my proposal, she immediately shook her head. "She has not survived as long and grown as powerful as she has by being a fool. Any attempt to actively goad her on my part would practically reek of a trap. Even if I appeared on her doorstep, she would be the very picture of courtesy, or at most, she would try to humiliate me with some subtle verbal barbs after inviting me in for tea... Moreover, it would likely further delay her arrogance from growing vast enough to attempt an ambush on me. For better or worse, the only real option is for me to wait for that day."

  I blinked. That... was not what I'd expected. Either Alice was severely overestimating Cassandra's intelligence, or I was missing something, because wasn't that exactly what happened in the game?

  ...

  Ah... right, Luka. He's the missing piece. He fought Cassandra first and managed to put up just barely enough of a fight to convince her that he was the scheme Alice devised to get rid of her.

  ...I swear, if I had a gold coin for every delicate political issue Luka somehow managed to solve by blindly swinging his sword at it... And he didn't even win that time!

  Swallowing down my annoyance and slight envy at that uncanny ability of his, I addressed Alice once more. "So... theoretically speaking, what if she ended up being killed by a human instead?"

  Alice frowned at me. "Do not even consider such a foolish notion. This is an entirely different matter from catching me off guard while already in a severely weakened state. Should you fight her, you will die. Her vitality is impressive by any standard. Even I would likely require several fully powered strikes to put her down were I to just rely on magical might. She would survive whatever you might throw at her and show no mercy in return."

  I winced. "Well, I didn't mean now!" As it was, her assessment was entirely correct. Even a Daystar wouldn't be enough to one-shot a monster like Cassandra... unless you were Lucifina or Ilias, I suppose. But I likely wouldn't be able to match their output even if I risked completely disintegrating myself through my own power. "I meant... like, later. After getting stronger. I'm not suicidal!"

  "So you keep saying, but I have yet to see any indication of that actually being the case," she answered with an unimpressed look.

  "...I know," I sighed. "Still, it would work, right? At least in theory... unless it would still cause the same problems if it were found out I'm affiliated to you?"

  She glared at me for several far too long seconds with an intensity sufficient to cause my legs to start wobbling. But just when I was worried this might turn into another Granberia situation, she averted her gaze.

  "...No," she huffed begrudgingly. "Being defeated by a singular human would make her an utter laughing stock. Any influence she might have had would crumble like dust in the wind as a result. And without her alive to regain any of it, that would effectively be the end of it. The most severe blowback I could expect in that scenario would be some minor ridicule behind my back along the lines of being unable to keep my pet on a leash."

  "However," she continued, seeing me about to interject again. "I will not permit you to commit yourself to such a reckless task to aid me."

  I shrugged. "I mean... considering what you told me about her, I think I'd be doing basically the whole world a favor, not just you."

  Alice let out a frustrated sigh. "Allow me to rephrase then. I will not allow you to put yourself at risk to make up for my inadequacies as a ruler. It is not that I do not appreciate the sentiment, but this goes beyond the bounds of a friend helping another. It is not your burden to bear."

  I opened my mouth to argue against her, but the words died on my tongue when faced with her unwavering gaze. Mere stubbornness would get me nowhere here. Nor would I manage to win a staring contest, not even on a technicality like last time.

  "...What if there wasn't a risk?" I asked, receiving a raised eyebrow in return. "I did say I'd wait until I was stronger, so... what if it was enough that there was no feasible way she could beat me... strong like you?"

  She stared at me for a moment longer before a chuff escaped her. "For all that you seem entirely void of self-preservation, you certainly do not lack ambition," Alice said with evident amusement. "You would be operating under quite a time limit, but if you somehow truly manage to achieve that level of power before Cassandra finally decides to commit suicide by Monster Lord... I suppose it would be irresponsible of me to deny your assistance at that point." Her expression then morphed into utmost seriousness. "However, I will be the one to decide whether you are ready or not. And until then, I will hear no more of this, understood?"

  I nodded. "Fair. You can probably estimate her capabilities better than me anyway." And that was the truth. I only had a vague approximation. After all, a proper fight against her was never shown in the game. Luka only managed to reduce a fraction of her health, whereas against Alice... that was an execution, not a fight. "Don't worry, I won't just run off to get myself killed."

  "You had better not," Alice replied with an imperious sniff.

  A few minutes elapsed in silence as I let the entire conversation replay in my mind.

  "So..." I started a short while later. "I do still have a few questions about everything you told me."

  She gave me a curt nod, signaling me to proceed.

  "Well, there are a couple of things, but one of them, I feel, is quite a bit more pressing than the others." I took a breath. "Alice... Why would you think I would blame any of that on you!?"

  "Ah..." She winced at my shout, and her posture wilted a bit. "While, perhaps, my decree may have decreased the overall number of deaths compared to doing nothing at all, I still gave it knowing that many would die regardless. It considerably changed the fundamentals of combat between humans and monsters, enough so to say with certainty that there is a considerable portion of deaths that would not have occurred otherwise. Particularly monsters, as they were the ones who had to fight with a handicap, but also humans who were especially susceptible to pleasure attacks. Those, at least, are on my hands without doubt. Not to mention how much more could have been prevented if only I were able to properly keep my own subordinates in line, or acted to better stifle conflict between monsters and humanity, or—"

  "Alice!" I interrupted her. "Alice, please just... stop. Sheesh. You are taking way too much responsibility for this!" A slow sigh escaped me as I tried to order my words. "You can't... Even if the church paints you as a villain, you can't just take accountability for all of the world's evil. Or rather, there really isn't a reason to do so."

  She huffed. "Then who else will? Some roadside monster? Even if they did everything in their power, they would barely make a dent in the grand scheme of things. I am the Monster Lord. My power and influence should exceed all others... and yet for all that, I still get stuck on stupid problems and foolish worries."

  I was about to say that there was still Ilias. If she were ever so inclined, she could easily fix just about any problem that plagued this world. But barring a few notable exceptions, she almost always made things worse in pursuit of vanity and a desire to be loved that was twisted beyond recognition. But... what good would that do? It might make Alice feel ever so slightly better about herself, but she already hated Ilias enough to stage a suicidal assault on her. Further encouraging that was bound to be detrimental to her health... and mine, considering that saying so was likely to result in me being turned into a lump of charcoal, so I quickly shut my dumb mouth and reconsidered my approach.

  "It's not like you are just watching the world burn around you, though. You are doing things. Maybe you could do better or be more proactive, but not being perfect isn't a sin. There's nothing inherently wrong with playing it safe, nor is it anything to feel guilty about."

  "It is when others are forced to bear the cost of your indecision."

  "Oh, for the love of..." I groaned. There really was no getting through to her like this. "...Explain something to me, Alice. You were hiding all this from me because you were worried I would hate you, that you'd lose your first friend right after making them?... err, first human friend, I mean," I amended, not wanting to get bogged down with another meaningless point of contention.

  She hesitated for a moment but ultimately nodded.

  "Right... Then, why exactly are you now trying so hard to convince me you are a bad person?"

  "Because..." She started but then stopped, turning her eyes away. But even if the words were left unspoken, the implication of 'I am' still hung heavy in the air.

  "Okay, look... it doesn't matter what you may say, or anyone else for that matter. I will not blame you for crimes committed by others."

  "...I see." If my words had granted her even so much as a single sliver of comfort, she certainly did not show it, her face impassive and eyes still averted. At this point, I was starting to think some part of her wanted me to blame her, yearned for the kind of relief offered by ripping off a band-aid all at once instead of slowly. But while that of all things was not about to be something I would give her, I was also rapidly running out of ideas of what to do elsewise.

  "Would you... like a hug?" I asked after a few more moments, unable to keep more than just a few hints of awkwardness and uncertainty from creeping into my voice. It wasn't exactly my best plan, but it was pretty much my last resort... aside from just giving her candy and hoping for the best, that is. Getting her even more emotionally dependent on food was probably not a good idea.

  Alice turned back to me with the beginning of a scowl on her face, which then quickly returned to being inscrutable as she continued to look at me. "I am not an upset child that needs to be mollified. If that is your stance, I am content to leave it at that for the time being."

  "...Okay." I nodded hesitantly. Perhaps it was for the best not to press further for now. Taking a step forward, I made to continue our journey, then took two more.

  ...and stopped.

  An unpleasant feeling spreading through my chest demanded that I couldn't let this lie—couldn't allow this wound to fester.

  Just... one more try.

  "Though..." I turned back to Alice. "That wasn't really an actual answer to my question. Do you want one?"

  She raised an eyebrow. "Awfully obstinate today, aren't we?" She then closed her eyes with a huff. "Why even bother asking me at this point? You certainly did not do so last time. Whatever. I do not care. Do as you please."

  I blinked in surprise. While that technically still wasn't a proper answer... I don't think I would be getting a clearer 'Yes, please.' out of her anytime soon.

  Stepping closer, I spread my arms, then paused as I stared straight ahead. Right, uh... boobs on face height, kind of forgot about that.

  "Err..." I tilted my body, trying to figure out an angle that wasn't quite as inappropriate as just plunging my face directly into Alice's cleavage.

  Fortunately, that issue soon resolved itself as Alice shifted, her breasts rising above my head. Surprised, I looked Alice up and then down. Her tail rose upward into a standing position at a slightly lower section than usual, and her eyes were still closed in an indifferent expression, pretending as though she hadn't just done that.

  ...Okay, tummy was something I could work with.

  I wrapped my arms around her. It was still considerably awkward but... nice, nonetheless.

  "You are a dork, you know that?" A soft voice asked from above.

  "...Yeah," I conceded without argument.

  As I pointedly and very deliberately ignored the soft sensation of my cheek pressing on her stomach, I soon realized a small issue with my plan. I had absolutely no idea how long to keep this up. Figuring out the proper duration of a regular, socially acceptable hug was difficult enough, but one meant for emotional support? My frame of reference for that was straight-up nonexistent.

  After considering this predicament for a while, I gave a mental shrug. Not my jurisdiction. Alice could break the hug whenever she had enough; it wasn't like I was strong enough to prevent her from doing so, even if I wanted to.

  Satisfied with my logic, I allowed my mind to wander.

  Any awkwardness aside... wouldn't it be nice if all problems could be solved like this? Just give Ilias a big old hug and watch as the world sorts itself out in real time. No fighting, no politics. Just hug.

  ...The saddest part is that it might have genuinely worked had I been inserted into this world's timeline a few millennia earlier. But nowadays? Never mind any reasonable chance of success, even getting close enough to her to make that attempt would take nothing short of a miracle. Well either that or...

  My thoughts ground to a halt as I stared at Alice's light purple skin out of the corner of my eyes.

  No. Never mind. Just a miracle, nothing else.

  But despite not even having finished the thought, the hug felt even more awkward than it had at the beginning.

  For better or worse, salvation came quickly after that. "If you were planning to cling to me all day, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you," Alice said, pushing me away without much force. "We will be receiving company shortly."

  "Huh, the random encounters sure know how to pick their timing for maximum inconvenience." I frowned as I turned in the same direction Alice was looking. "...Wait, isn't that where we came from?" I wasn't entirely certain, but surely my sense of direction wasn't awful enough to get turned around on a flat plain, right?

  "Indeed. However, I would not exactly call it random." Alice glanced at me. "I suggest you brace for impact."

  "Impact?" I asked with undisguised concern. And if it wasn't random, was it some sort of ambush, or was I being actively hunted? Either way, I knew better than to ignore Alice's advice, so I shuffled my legs into a slightly broader and lower stance. "Like this?"

  She inspected my preparations with a raised eyebrow before her face returned to neutral. "...If nothing else, take solace in the fact this will hurt almost as badly to watch as it will to experience."

  Her words were absolutely no reassurance whatsoever, the opposite, in fact. But before I was able to tell her as much, I saw a small cloud of dust rise in the distance.

  My eyes widened. "Are you sure I should be defending for this, rather than dodging or running away?" I asked, trying my best to fight the rising panic.

  "I am afraid this projectile is a homing one. As for running..." Her lips quirked slightly. "Feel free to try. For all the lack of good it would do, it would still be amusing to see."

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  I gulped. An at first faint sound was rapidly growing in volume. It vaguely sounded like "Zazoom," but before I could fully register that fact or its implications, another shout slammed into me, along with its origin. "SHISHOOOUUU!" It was fully equipped with a horned helmet, which, defying all odds and regard for my continued well-being, found its way directly into my gut.

  The sheer force of the collision sent me flying and knocked the wind out of me so thoroughly that, had I been contracted to Sylph, I most certainly wouldn't be anymore.

  Gravity, having merely the barest minimum of standards, only gave me another harsh kick as I went down, rather than after.

  With a pained breath, I lifted my head ever so slightly to see what had barreled into me.

  "...What are we going to do on the ground, Oni-chan?" The words came unbidden to my lips before I slumped back down with a groan and a pomf.

  While I was naturally curious about why exactly little Gob had chased me down and given me the most likely contender for 'Headbutt of the Year', I had more pressing issues. Issues that, at this moment in time, could be graciously summed up as 'my general existence.'

  I closed my eyes, and thankfully, the pain wasn't quite bad enough for Meditation to fail. Though when I reopened them, what I saw made me consider that, perhaps, wallowing in misery for a little longer might have been preferable.

  "Uuuh..." She sniffled into my shirt. And though I might not have been able to see her face, the sensation of my shirt slowly being soaked through was enough to draw certain conclusions.

  My eyes flitted about anxiously like a drowning person trying to latch onto something—anything to save them. They locked onto Alice, the traitor, who, despite evidently noticing my gaze, merely continued to stand by the side without even the slightest indication she might do anything but watch.

  I sighed, but the act of resigning myself to my fate had the welcome side-effect of calming my nerves at least. Wrapping an arm around Gob, I slowly began to pat her back while staring at the sky.

  You give out one free therapy session, and suddenly everyone comes running. If by the next time I looked up, an entire queue had formed, my surprise would have been minimal.

  I ought to start charging by the hour... or at least find someone I could trauma dump on in turn. It would only be fair.

  My musing was interrupted by a stray thought. Why was Alice still sticking around if she wasn't going to do anything? She usually preferred to hide when she didn't want to bother.

  I inclined my head up to look at Alice, who was still in the same position as before. My eyes then slid down to Gob—her face still buried inside my shirt. A little further still, were two faint trails of blood running down from where she had rammed into me. Though the original injuries may already be gone, the evidence they had existed did not magically disappear with them. Finally, I looked back at Alice, gears in my head turning.

  ...Oh shit.

  "Uhh... Alice, this is—"

  "Mildly aggressive cuddling," she instantly finished for me.

  I blinked, then quickly wrapped my other arm around Gob, half-protectively and half to go along with the pretense. "Err, r-right. That. Cuddling. That's what it is. Haha... ha."

  For a moment, Alice's lips seemed to quirk ever so slightly in response, but they went back to a straight line immediately. "Well, even if it was a violation of my decree, mercy can still be given in the case of a genuine accident. Provided a sufficient degree of remorse is shown, of course."

  "Huh, that's... less black and white than you made it out to be," I said after parsing her statement.

  "Perhaps. I am not completely without recourse to doing things I do not wish to. Ultimately, the important part is that the Monster Lord's authority cannot ever be allowed to be put into question. As such, a small chastisement will nonetheless be required, regardless of the less severe nature of her transgression." She looked from me to Gob. "...Once she is a little more receptive to it, anyway."

  I nodded, tension leaving me after receiving confirmation that Alice wasn't about to execute a little girl right in front of my eyes. If she were truly hell-bent on convincing me to hate her, that probably would have done it.

  My head sank back to the ground as I idly continued patting Gob's back, and my eyes looked around for a much-needed distraction. Eventually, they settled on Gob herself, or rather, her near ivory skin tone.

  I couldn't help but crack a smile as I thought about the silly observation I'd just made. For all of this world's immense variety, it was pretty damn funny that it had basically none of the traditional fantasy green-skins. Goblins were simply juvenile Oni, just like Imps were juvenile Succubi. At the same time, Oni replaced Ogres. Being a Troll was more of a lifestyle choice than a species. And Orcs were their bacon-based interpretation.

  I suppressed a chuckle.

  But I suppose if someone had an insatiable hunger for green, they could always go vegan. Alraunes were still a thing, after all. Oh, also the occasional slime or frog girls.

  As I tried to think of any other monster girls that matched the general description of 'green', a movement caught my eye. Gob was slowly lifting her head, though considering I was still holding onto her, she wouldn't be getting far.

  "Gob." Even her already small range of movement was interrupted halfway as she froze upon her name being called.

  "Y-yes, boss? Err, Monster Lord... Ma'am?" She asked nervously. I considered letting go of her so she could face Alice, but with how badly she had locked up, she might still not be able to do so. Better to let her have an excuse and whatever reassurance I could provide.

  "Do you recognize what you did wrong?" Alice continued, not bothering with the matter of how she was addressed.

  "I..." She sniffled. "I hurt Shishou..."

  "No," she denied with a small smirk that Gob was unable to see. "He can take it. Evidently." The smirk vanished. "...But you had no way of knowing that. You acted without thought or consideration for the fragility of humans. Most would have been grievously injured, possibly killed, by that sort of impact." Alice paused a moment to let her words sink in. "I hope you realize the severity of such a thing, not only as a violation of my law but also for the damage it would cause beyond that. As one of only a handful of monster representatives in Iliasburg, or even one of the few of the entire continent as a whole, it would be even worse, as it would reflect back on the rest of monsterkind all the more strongly for it. This kind of incident cannot ever be allowed to happen again, understood?"

  Gob rapidly bobbed her head up and down, making me wince at getting woodpeckered by her forehead nub.

  "Ah... Sorry, Shishou..."

  "No harm done!" I announced hurriedly.

  "Good." Alice nodded. "With that clarified, I shall leave you two to... whatever it is you were going to do." By the time the last word left her mouth, she was already gone.

  "So..." I looked back down at Gob.

  "...Sorry, Shishou," she apologized again.

  "It's fine, really. I'm not mad at you... Though maybe consider getting rid of the horned helmet. That one did hurt, just a little."

  She pouted at me. "But... back home, I've always been told a proper Oni had to be horny."

  ...Right, of course they would tell her that.

  "You are already plenty horny, don't you think?" I asked with a wry smile as I lightly touched a finger to her forehead nub. She giggled.

  "But you can always be hornier!" She insisted, but she did still take off her helmet and let it fall to the ground beside us.

  "Perhaps," I admitted. Though if there was a hard limit, I had little doubt that this world would manage to find it. For both meanings of the word. "More isn't always better, though. Now, care to tell me what made you run here all the way from Iliasburg?"

  "...Ah." At the reminder, her eyes began to tear up again. "Shishou... do you... Do you hate me?"

  I blinked. "What? No. Why would I... No. Of course not."

  She sniffled, "But... you said goodbye to everyone but me..."

  I stared at her blankly. That was what this was all about? That seemed like a considerable overreaction. I mean, it wasn't like I had... pretty much abandoned... an effectively orphaned little girl... without so much as saying goodbye... after she had just about literally declared me her new role model slash parent figure.

  ...

  Okay, in retrospect, maybe I did deserve a hole or two through my stomach.

  "Guess I was thoughtless too. Sorry Gob. I couldn't find you, and I didn't realize it would mean that much to you. But since you're here, we can still make up for it."

  She vehemently shook her head and buried herself in my shirt again. "Do you really have to? Can't you stay? With us? I'll do whatever you want, the other too. Just... don't go."

  "I do have to," I sighed. "No matter what. But I'll be back."

  Gob looked up at me, tears threatening to spill as she held up a pinky. "Promise?"

  I held back a chuckle as I linked it with my own. "Promise. And... If I'm still not back by the time you finish your apprenticeship, feel free to come hunt me down again."

  She nodded but did not make any indication of letting go, only grabbing onto me tighter if anything.

  After a little consideration, I spoke. "Tell you what. How about getting started on the first lesson, so you have something to work on besides carpentry while I'm gone?"

  Gob's eyes widened in excitement. "Yes!" She shouted with a grin as she separated from me.

  "Right." I sat up. "You want to learn how to use the power of the earth, right?" As expected, she nodded eagerly in response. Honestly, the question was meant more to give me a few additional seconds to think over my words than anything else. While I had basically no idea about teaching, I had previously pondered how I would go about learning these things myself.

  "When it comes to using the elements, one of the most important factors, far more so than a simple natural affinity, is cultivating a suitable mindset. In the case of earth, one of the best is likely unshakeable confidence." Which was bound to cause me no end of problems. "An absolute conviction that you could crush just about anyone with your overwhelming strength, and that common weapons would bend against your skin like blades of grass if not outright shatter. Picture yourself as a mountain, and you will be a mountain in all but form."

  Gob tilted her head. "But mountains don't move, right? Not being able to move would suck."

  I shrugged. "Most don't, some do. And I have little reason to doubt this little mountain would be the fastest of them all." I ruffled her hair, causing her to giggle and blush a little at the praise. "In the end, the mountain is just a visual aid. With some creativity, there is no reason to take on traits you don't want. If it works better for you, you could also picture yourself as a moving statue, an extrusion of the ground beneath your feet, or the very planet. The important thing is that you see the qualities you want to embody in it... and I suppose the connection it has to the element. A glacier would probably be less effective than a mountain.

  "What's a glacier, Shishou?"

  "A mountain made of ice instead of rock."

  "A mountain... of ice cream?" I couldn't help but chuckle as a trail of drool ran down the side of her mouth.

  "Best not to picture yourself as that unless you want to get eaten. Either way, that's about it. If you can do that, the rest is just figuring out how to actually channel the power of the earth."

  Gob jumped up with a grin. "Got it! I'll become a strong mountain so I can protect my Shishou and squash whatever makes him need to leave!"

  I chuckled. "Honestly, that would be great."

  She was about to turn and run off, but then paused and looked back at her helmet. She picked it up, eyes looking back and forth between it and me. A moment later, she seemed to have come to a decision as she held it out toward me. "Here, it will keep you safe while I'm not there!"

  I hesitated for a moment before accepting it with a smile. "Thank you. I will treasure it."

  "I'm only lending it! So you have to come back safe to give it back, okay?" After receiving a nod, she shot off. "See ya, Shishou! ZAZOOOM!"

  I watched as her waving figure disappeared into a cloud of dust. The fact that a monster with an earth affinity and at such a young age could move so fast was absolute bullshit. The genetics of this world were truly unfair... Though considering who exactly I was inhabiting, it might have been hypocritical of me to say so.

  Experimentally, I tried putting on the helmet. Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, it was a little too small. Rather than my head being inside, the rim sat on the outermost edge. I wouldn't be able to wear this properly.

  "If you are attempting to signal that you are horny, I would not mind assisting with that." The suddenness of the voice next to me made me flinch.

  "Sheesh, even knowing to expect it, having you just suddenly appear like that still manages to catch me off guard," I told Alice as I stowed away the helmet inside my Inventory. Even if I couldn't wear it, I could keep it as a good luck charm.

  "I suppose that is a no." Alice looked at my now bare head, then toward the distance. "Your advice was... surprisingly sound. Albeit not at all appropriate for a beginner."

  I shrugged. "Can't have her figuring it out too quickly. I don't think I'd survive an earth-enhanced crash if she caught up with us again before leaving the continent."

  "I would stop her if it came to that."

  I hummed "How come you didn't?"

  "It was a lesson she needed to learn—one way or another. Better you than someone who would balk at the prospect of being injured."

  "...Fair. But just for the record, I very much don't like pain either," I grumbled.

  With a look downward, it was easy to tell my shirt was ruined—smeared with snot, tears, and some blood. Those various fluids could potentially be washed out, to some extent. But the holes? Those were there to stay. Rest in peace, Enrikan Shirt. We hadn't had much time together, but you did your duty of protecting me commendably. Or, specifically, keeping me from being completely gored by a charging loli.

  I sighed as I changed into a regular shirt. "I prepared several spare sets of pants, but somehow it's always the shirts that end up being victimized." The one hit with honey was still a little sticky, and I hadn't even tried washing the one that some of that weird potion got on. It was probably best for everyone that it never saw the light of day again.

  I glanced at Alice. "In case I run out... I don't suppose, being a mighty and knowledgable lord of darkness, you have some sort of... clothes beam?"

  Her lips quirked. "Best I can do is an unclothes beam."

  "...Figures. Just my luck." I sighed. For all I knew, this might genuinely be the universe conspiring to quest-hook me into going to Enrika to get my stuff repaired. If so, sucks to be it. A much fluffier lure would be required to bait me.

  "Well, shall we be off?"

  "Certainly."

  We continued our journey for several more hours until camp, mostly in silence, which was more than fine by me. It felt like I'd filled my daily conversational quota a few dozen times over.

  When the time for dinner finally came, I pulled a cauldron out, placed it over a freshly dug firepit, and filled it with fresh water, which wasn't quite as abundant as dirt but just as free, and thus sat at a full stack inside my Inventory.

  I began with peeling and chopping potatoes and carrots, then checked the temperature of the water. Not even lukewarm. Just straight cold. Confused, I looked down at the fire, or rather lack thereof, and let out a groan. "Urgh... forgot to light it. This is going to take forever now... Alice, mind helping me move the cauldron for a moment?" The damn thing was already heavy enough without any contents.

  Alice came over, grabbed the handle with one hand, and lifted the entire thing off the fire pit without any visible strain.

  "...Right, thanks." It was always easy to forget how strong she was, despite frequent reminders. But given another two dozen levels or so, or a contract with Gnome, I could probably do the same. That was certainly one thing to look forward to.

  I took out flint and tinder and, over the course of several agonizing minutes, deeply and thoroughly mourned the loss of my fun-sized living flamethrower.

  "You know, I could take care of making a fire, if you want," Alice offered, after watching me continually produce sparks that just. wouldn't. CATCH.

  I took a breath to calm down and raised an eyebrow at her. "And you're sure you can do that without incinerating the wood?"

  Her face scrunched up. "Is that... not the point?"

  "...The point is to keep it burning, not reduce it to ash instantly."

  "I see. I will leave it to you then," Alice conceded, looking away.

  Thankfully, a few moments later, it finally started smouldering, and soon a small flame appeared. I nodded, satisfied. "That should do it. You can put it back on. I'll get to chopping more veggies and meat in the meantime."

  After another half an hour, the soup ingredients were fully prepared and floating in still lukewarm water.

  "Alice, mind lending me your copy of the World Traveler? It might be a little outdated, but I'm curious to see how it holds up to today."

  "I do not mind but..." She looked hesitantly between me and the cauldron as she produced the book and held it toward me. "What about the soup?"

  Along with a shrug, I grabbed the book. "It will take a while to start cooking... then some more to do the cooking. Actually, once it does, why don't you handle the stirring?"

  Her eyes widened. "You... You want me to...?"

  "Hey, we're probably going to be travelling for a while, no better time to start learning than now, right?" I said with a smile, holding out the ladle for her to take.

  "I... see." She reached for it with a quivering hand, gulping as her fingers clasped around it. "...May the First grant me strength," she murmured. Her eyes shot open even wider in a panic as she realized her grievous mistake. "Wait, no! Not strength! Dexterity, make it dexterity!"

  I watched her antics with a smile as I settled down with my back to a tree, trying to get comfy. Slowly, nervously, she started stirring the soup even though it wasn't even warm yet.

  Truly, if a man could elicit even half as much tenderness from Alice as she was showing that soup, they would be a lucky fellow indeed.

  With a half-suppressed snicker, I opened the book. Then, when I looked down at it, my smile froze and turned blank as I stared at the contents.

  The book blinked blearily, then stared back.

  It licked its lips.

  "By the decrees of her majesty, book thieves shall be—"

  I snapped the book shut.

  "...oww." A muffled sound of pain resonated from beneath the cover.

  "Alice." I called out calmly.

  "Mhm," she responded with the tone of someone listening but not at all paying attention.

  "I distinctly recall you telling me this book hadn't monsterized."

  "Mhm," she answered again, her focus entirely on the food.

  "Now, I know I may be exceedingly handsome—"

  "Cute," she denied instantly, her objection almost instinctive in nature. Because of course, that, she couldn't possibly let lie.

  I had to clutch the book tighter as it tried to wrench itself open from beneath my fingers.

  "Regardless," I said, my voice taking on a small note of urgency. "I can't help but think it a little odd, a book of all things would be giving me bedroom eyes!"

  At that, Alice finally looked up with a frown, which deepened as she looked at the book I was holding tightly. She came over and grabbed it, flipping it open.

  "How dare thee! I shall..." The voice from the book trailed off when it saw who had actually opened it. "Uh..."

  Alice snapped the book shut.

  "...ooowww..."

  For a few moments, there was silence. The book, too, was entirely still. Either due to fear, or because it simply couldn't even so much as slightly budge Alice's fingers.

  Then, Alice looked at me and cleared her throat. "...Theoretically speaking, that is a monster that hides inside books, not a monsterized book. Therefore, my previous statement still holds true."

  My only response was a flat look.

  "I... did not know she was in there. Page monsters can be incredibly difficult to sense in a state of prolonged hibernation. She must have been set as a guard in case a non-monster opens the book... Though I cannot possibly fathom why anyone would do so. Despite the profound secrets it holds, it should have been a fairly commonly found tome."

  Knowing Alice, 'profound secrets' no doubt referred to where to get good food, I thought with a wry smile.

  "Why not just ask her then?" I asked.

  Alice hummed in agreement and flipped the book back open.

  "Ah... M-mine apologies. I didst not realize he was thine, thy majesty..." The page monster's eyes roamed Alice up and down. "Eleventh?"

  "Sixteenth."

  The monster's face went paler than the slightly yellowed pages it called its home. "How long hast I been in here?"

  "Judging from circumstantial evidence... probably around five hundred years, give or take," I offered.

  "Oh... That is... not nearly as grave as I'd feared."

  ...I don't think I would ever understand a monster's sense of time.

  "And why exactly were you guarding this book in the first place?"

  The monster frowned, thinking deeply. "I recall... her majesty's request that should'st a purple-haired lad ever open this tome, I ought grant him a right fright." She paused, looking at me. "...Boo."

  I blinked, then let out an exaggerated gasp, holding a hand over my heart. She smiled, satisfied in her fulfilled duty, before resuming her thoughts. "Afterwards, I recall... a lullaby most sweet, then nought more. T'was... so..." Her eyes began to droop, causing Alice to snap her fingers to keep her awake. "M-mine apologies. Merely thinking about it causes me... to..."

  Alice sighed and snapped her awake again. "I have heard enough. I shall send you off to my library. No doubt you are eager to catch up with the more recent publications."

  The page girl's eyes shone. "Oh, t'would be most delightful!"

  Alice nodded, and with a flash of light, the book was gone.

  "Got anything useful out of that?" I asked.

  "I believe I know what may have occurred. But it is ancient history. Nothing you need to be concerned about."

  I hummed.

  It sounded like Black Alice trying to play a prank on Heinrich, but I had no idea what the lullaby stuff was about. Although, the idea of Black Alice, the very anathema to the concept of 'soothing', singing a lullaby was kind of funny. Maybe one of her spells just manifested that way for the victim... or she asked one of her stronger subordinates to it. Even if the victim was already pre-inclined toward hibernation, making someone sleep for so long was quite something.

  "Honestly, at first I thought you might have been the one to put her in there," I told Alice.

  She frowned at me. "I do not just randomly go around putting monsters... inside..." She trailed off, and I could almost see the flashback happening behind her eyes. "...this book," she stated lamely.

  I raised an eyebrow.

  "Ahem, speaking of literature. Should we ever find ourselves in the vicinity of San Ilia, I would like to see how their library compares to my own. Entirely unrelated to the matter at hand, of course."

  "Riiight." I gave her an unimpressed look.

  "...So about your request to teach you," Alice diverted after a few moments.

  My eyebrows rose as one. I was fully aware she was trying to distract me, but some distractions were simply too good to pass up.

  "You will? Honestly, I would have expected you to double down considering the entire Cassandra business."

  Sne sniffed imperiously. "I do not coddle. Nor am I particularly concerned about you misusing what I teach you anymore. If that is the path you wish to tread, then the least I can do is grant you the opportunity."

  "Great!" I took out Angel Halo. "Ready when you are."

  She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "Now, whoever said anything about swords?"

  "...Huh?"

  Alice shook her head. "No. What I intend to teach you... is magic."

  that easy. Updates are gonna be more frequent again now. Though no promises as far as a schedule goes. I'm no longer on Discord, since they've made abundantly clear which side they stand on (not ours). Instead, I've made a Stoat server if you'd like to talk. The Invite code is: A7fWwmm6