"It seems... we are not able to understand each other after all!"
"Comme de juste! But what did I expect outta an Arimaf (の)g!"
"Get outta here Madi-san. Kana's ending in Xishi nx Kx was perfect!"
"See what I mean?! We're all having a nice PARTY, and Vancouver here is BURNING!"
"I actually know EXACTLY what you said there, Madi-san!"
Cold steel fshes in my underhand grip. In a trail of translucent blue, I pull the katana out of its sheath, one-handedly pointing its tip at Madi-san! The entire body of my katana's bde is forged in a screen of blue from tip to unhandled hilt.
This is... the blue bde of truth!
I have not pulled out this bde since we left Bylon Isnd for a simple reason: I am unable to use it outside of [Deroux Theater]! This isn't part of my [Usodo]. That, requires no magick to use.
You've seen this before, my personal magick, [Truths, Red and Blue]! Unlike Val-sama who seems to have no problem mennifesting on the New Continent, weaponed magick is a foreign and heavy thing to me! Every time I try to force it, the backsh rips through my body and colpses me before I even begin!
Here, however...
It feels just right!
The blue bde of truth is the physical mennifestation of a hundred psychological manga read, tempered in the hard thinking of a thousand mysteries solved and---
--- the absolute enemy of conspiracies!
Fundamentally, the things that Madi-san and I want are different.
Madi-san wants to expose conspiracies to prove their existence.
However...
Your detective wants to expose conspiracies and prove them false!
That is why we can NEVER get along.
When the veil of secrecy of lifted, all conspiracies revert back to mysteries!
And what is a mystery?
A paltry sack of lies!
Seeing through lies, is the detective's expertise!
I WILL rip through the the covering cloth of shame that flies across Madi-san's fundoshi!
"Ogey... Aya-chan sure is fired up tonight...!" The cackling cacodaemon sniggers, putting the fingers of both hands to her mouth. "But without the help of my [Narrator's Power], what do you expect to be solving, Detective Defective?!?!"
A mystery has three components!
A Whodunnit!
A Howdunnit!
A Whydunnit!
The detective should only be concerned with the first two!
For the detective cares only for the facts! The facts, and just the danged facts!
The 'Whodunnit' refers to the 'murderer'! The person who committed the crime! There can only be one 'murderer'! The goal of a mystery is to pull this person out from the shadows! It is not enough to pull this person out of the shadows though...
The detective must also solve the 'Howdunnit'!
The 'Howdunnit' refers to the 'methods of murder'! The way that the crime was committed! The detective must deduce the means that the crime was committed! In manga terms, it is discovering how the enemy's Stxnd works!
These are the two parts of a mystery that can be solved with the facts alone!
They also form the tip of the bde pointed towards Madi-san right now!
I am prociming that all of her conspiracies... are solvable!
"Ehehehe!" Burying a hand in her face, Madi-san shakes her head knowingly, "Foolishness, Ayaya! Foolishness!"
She arrogantly goes crossed-armed under those oversized udders of hers,
"You have no heart, you have no soul!"
"Facts? Logic? Reason? And you say you reached the golden nd?? You haven't even reached Doro's yellow brick road!"
"I've said this before, and I'll say it again...
... whatever (((they))) call (((themselves))) is not important!"
Ah. I've heard this before.
"A conspiracy is a GROUP of evildoers working together for some nefarious purpose!"
That line from Madi-san truly riles my rudders. In any proper mystery, there can only be ONE! ONE 'murderer'! If you have to suspect everyone as the 'Whodunnit', we're going to go on an endless eightfold loop of not just suspecting EVERYONE, but everyone's RELATIONSHIPS with each other! How is a detective supposed to work from that?!
"Therefore, the question of 'Whodunnit'... is not important! What really matters in a conspiracy is the WHY! THAT is the true heart of a conspiracy! That, is the truth moi' seeks!"
[SFX:APPLAUSE]
Wha... Where did THAT come from?! It feels as if a whole theater of guests had just put their hands together in support of that audacious statement! I turn to my head to the empty theater, but there's nobody there! Where could that thunderous appuse be coming from?! Just WHO is appuding this madwoman?! Show yourselves, you fake mystery lovers who just want the answer handed to them!!
Sensing that I am on the downwind, the madwoman wags a finger and continues, front bent forward, "That's the other thing, Aya-chan! Sometimes the 'Howdunit' just cannot be solved! Do you think that everyone just shouts out how their Stxndos work like in your animu?! (((They))) are OBVIOUSLY going to conceal how it works!"
"Damatte!" [1]
Even so...! Every 'murderer' tries to conceal their methods, and fail anyway! That is the power of following facts and logic! If the 'whodunnits' don't matter, and the 'howdunnits' don't matter, then what sort of mystery is this?! That is just hack writing! You probably skip over the thinking parts of a mystery and read off the st few pages of a Cxnan chapter so you can feel smart!
A mystery can only have one 'murderer'.
A conspiracy can have many 'murderers'.
The Howdunnit is key to solving a mystery.
The Howdunnit is not knowable in a conspiracy.
To solve a mystery, the Whydunnit is not important.
To solve a conspiracy, the Whydunnit is very important.
When the two sides collide...
There can only be one.
One single truth will prevail!
Either you are on the side of the purple haired madwoman,
or you are on the side of your small, cute and rational detective!
"So!" Finally straightening her spine, the madwoman points at my direction. "We dueling or what?! The sun also rises, you know!"
Holding the tsuka[2] with both hands up against the side of my cheek, I turn my bde skywards! Extending my left foot forward, I give Madi-san my wordless answer!
I am very used to Madi-san's tricks.
So I chose a stance that is more cautious and reserved.
That way, I won't fall for her lies!
I've read Umxneko for crying out loud!
How can I not know how to turn fiction from reality!
Here it is!
The truth of what happened tonight!
“You were there the entire way! You saw what happened in the Red Room as well! If there's an enemy, its the Fox-Mask!"
Madi-san makes a creepy smiling face, smile almost splitting the sides of her face!
"Agreed."
...
This is too easy.
I am wary of a trap, so I steady my footwork, moving inline and towards Madi-san's motionless position! Sweat is starting to roll down my palms and drench into the wrapping around the tsuba! I am already in bde's striking distance, so why...
... why is she not moving!
"So? You aren't going to suddenly shout: Fox-Mask is the murderer, egro ipum suptum, the whodunnit is solved, 「bakanai」!!! Are you?! Ehehehe!"
That biichii!
Its not enough that she's making fun of the entire mystery genre!
She has to throw in making fun of my ancestral nguage too!
I'll strike you where it hurts the most!
I'll solve your precious whydunnit, right here!
Take this...!
[Leap Unto The Void]!!!
"Tonight, Fox-Mask was invited to the Galopin mansion! She was going to hold an auction, an auction of humans! This is clear and certain, due to the presence of Wolf-ears!"
As I speak, a semi-transparent illusion of the girl Oracion snatched up stands motionless at our side onstage. This is one of the perks of the [Detective's Authority], the [Leap Unto The Void]! I can recreate scenes I have personally witnessed or retold to me with perfection!
Right now, the wolf-eared girl stands motionless in translucent bluish glimmers. However, her clothing is faithfully recreated by my [Detective's Authority]. Including...!
... the chains, colrs and shackles around her limbs!
When Madi-san gnces over at the shiny new distraction...
My tip of my katana's bde glints in the stage spotlight...
A chance!
Swing down...!
"Fact! Wolf-ears was not here willingly! The chains around her body show that she was coerced to be here! Therefore, we can conclude that---"
"Objection!"
"Nani?!"
This purple haired biichii! What do you think this is, a Theater Trial?! You conspiracists should have no right to speak over me right now! Shut up and let me continue!
Completely distracted, my unfocused first swing goes wide, the biichii's flipping backflip evading the blow, middle of the bde just nearly cpping the back of her miniskirt!
Not good!
I immediately withdraw my bde into an upright position again, taking two steps back!
Righting herself, she throws her head of hair back, Frxnch beret mysteriously staying glued to the top of her head!
"Why's it always gotta be some weird controlly kink with you, Ayaya?" The foul fiend wags a finger in my direction, as if she has seen through my everything! "You better not go to any Twxtchcons without moi'! Someone might just take advantage of you at the afterparty! Truth of the matter of fact is this---"
This is bad!
From my past experience,
if I ever let Madi-san take even an inch,
she will do a 10KM running on me!
Switch up tactics!
I'm going to release everything in one go!
"You idiot! Do you have some other definition of coercion?! No, right?! Clearly Wolf-ears was being threatened by Fox-Mask, otherwise she would have run off when her blood was being taken! The mini-naginata-like instrument was the weapon that was used to take her blood, and it clearly looked like it hurt!"
Here it is!
The part that will hurt Madi-san the most!
I shall now solve for your 'Whydunnit'!
"There is only one reason for drawing blood...!
Fox-Mask is a グール! [3] A vampire! A bloodsucker! Someone who needs to feed on human blood in order to live!"
"V-vampires?!?!"
That's right!
Get taken aback!
I've never seen Madi-san look so shocked before!
Her upper body lurches backwards, one pantyhosed thigh stepping behind her to prevent getting knocked over! This is when I know I have solved her 'central conspiracy'!
"The 【Galopin Mansion Incident】 is actually a gathering of reclusive flesh-eating cannibal cultists---!!!"
A single blue bde arcs through the stage!
Go Go And Learn Moonrunes With Aya-chan & Author-kun![1] damatte - 黙って! A somewhat rude way to tell your best friend to shut up! It-it's deserved! Have you even heard how many times she's told your detective to shut up in this arc alone!
[2] tsuba- The handle of a katana. Do you guys not have katanas at home?
[3] グール- A Gūru is a monster that eats flesh! I am NOT pulling this out of nowhere! This has been properly foreshadowed! The ending and beginning of this chapter connect to each other, you never thought about that, did you?! - Author-kun
