Down in the Arena.

  "Hey, hey, what gave you the confidence to challenge me? That flea-ridden blade of yours? Aye. These old bones have seen sharper spoons."

  Rotten Ya wore a cocky grin, squinting at the old man with an air of unearned confidence.

  "At least I use a real weapon. Not like you, gramps. You actually need toys to do the fighting for you! Guess you’re afraid of breaking a hip, huh?"

  Stroking his beard, Tai Yinshe chuckled, unbothered.

  “Hey, hey, you youngsters just don’t understand the art of true craftsmanship. Let these old bones teach you a lesson on the epitome of beauty.”

  Rotten Ya defiantly pointed his infamous flame cutter at his opponent. "Bring it on! I'll turn all of your porcelain dolls into bloody shavings!"

  “Aye. Brave words from someone about to get swarmed. My little cuties, go and stretch your legs!”

  With a snap of his fingers, five female battle dolls flanking the old man came to life, dropping to the ground in sync and scuttling forward like a pack of black widows!

  “For the sun’s gloryyyy!” Rotten Ya bravely charged forward across the arena!

  The gap between the two sides rapidly closed!

  Barely after entering melee combat range, the battle dolls parted like a pack of wolves and pounced at Rotten Ya from multiple angles!

  “Hah! Taste my blade!”

  Rotten Ya’s swing didn’t even finish half its journey before his wrist was caught and twisted just enough to force him to his knees.

  “Ouch! Arghhh! I won’t fall that easily! Take my ultimate move! Sun Tiger’s Heart Digger!”

  A hand attacked a doll’s full chest—only for it to get captured the next second…

  A few breath later, the poor beggar had all four limbs pinned to the ground and became a fish on a chopping board...

  From afar, the grandpa’s kind reminder carried over the arena.

  “Hey, Hey, I’d hate to embarrass youngsters like you. Surrender now and these old bones might let you keep a shred of your dignity.”

  Rotten Ya roared back at the top of his lungs, “Never! I will never surrender! Give me good time if you dare!”

  Tai Yinshe looked down at the beggar and sighed.

  “Aye, then don’t blame these old bones if you need a hip replacement afterwards. My little cuties, give our guest here a little… beating to soften those tough bones of his.”

  The tattered robe soon became shredded rags, and a battle doll mounted on top of the beggar to beat some sense into him…

  Pa! Pa! Pa!

  Flesh struck flesh. The female warrior was beating the meat hard with mechanical fervor for all to witness, but...

  Surprisingly, not a single drop of blood was spilled.

  "Just this much?! Who do you think I am?! I will never ever surrender! You just wait! I… I will make you pay!"

  The beggar growled, yet his symbolic struggle and flushed face was a telltale sign that he was loving every second of the beating…

  Stroking his beard on the sidelines, the grandpa pretentiously tipped his chin up at a forty-five-degree angle and let out a pious sigh.

  “Aye, when my cuties get serious, even these old bones tremble in fear.”

  Watching the live-action bouncing simulator happening below, Bubai’s lips twitched.

  Really now? What happened to the badass who cruelly roasted the skull of his opponent? Where’s his promised epic showdown?!

  All that build-up, and... this was the show?!

  Bubai was half-tempted to raise his hand and demand a refund!

  Merlin’s beard, he didn’t sign up to watch this nonsense!

  Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

  For once, Bubai kinda preferred the cliché battle tourney arc over this wacky circus slideshow!

  If his life was a story, it deserved a solid one-star rating for pulling this ridiculous plot twist!

  Too bad... this was reality. No matter how screwed-up the plot... he had to stick with it.

  To make matters worse, this dual cultivation sect was all about screwing, and peeps screwed so hard that there was a bolt loose in their nutty brains, just like the nutjobs in this room.

  Bubai glanced around, just to see nobody showing even a semblance of shock or surprise over the unscripted, bawdy street play downstairs.

  They even had the gal to fire commentary!

  “That miserly Old Snake just can’t resist capitalizing on every chance to bleed his opponent dry! Hahaha!”

  The guffawing Jia Shizi let his compliments flow to heat up the atmosphere.

  The baldy Jia Hu was quick to pat the horse’s booty.

  “Em. Em. Senior Tai’s truly a genius when it comes to finding creative ways to take down his opponents!”

  Jia Liang voiced his agreement. “Kek. Who could even dream of standing up against such heavenly combat power?”

  “Creative? Heavenly?” Mo Tianhe chimed in. “Sure, sure, call it that if you like, but it’s hardly useful, except on idiots.”

  “Just know both down there haven’t even gotten serious. If Old Snake actually gets serious... all we’d see is just another boring game of cat and mouse.”

  “Hah! That’s a good way to put it, but isn’t it just hiding away from a real fight?” Jia Shizi cracked his knuckles. “Real men don’t hide behind women! We take ‘em down head-on!”

  They speak as if this was the most accepted method to “take down” enemies.

  As expected of a dual cultivation sect... nothing is serious at all!

  Even if a fight is promised, it will spiral into a very different type of “fight”! Ridiculous. Just like the fight happening here.

  Bubai felt the blondie Jia Wan urgently battling his little brother, her bright eyes betraying her hunger for another share of combat power.

  Too bad what she “takes down” wasn’t up to her to decide.

  The game host chose this time to make his announcement.

  “Hope everyone’s comfortable because... it’s time to switch!”

  The call-out scrambled the crazy game from one wet hole to another...

  When he potted the hot rose once more, Bubai sighed, resigning himself to this unorthodox reality.

  Just adapt to the norm, and he’ll be fine.

  But Bubai still can’t help but wonder how long will everything last.

  “So... are we all just meant to sit back and let it all play out?”

  His question got the attention of the Mo Tianhe playing the same boring game next door.

  “I remember, a few years back, nobody stopped it. So, that old snake squeezed his opponent until nothing more than a husk was left… They’ll probably cut this one short since that scamp’s identity is not simple.”

  Not simple? Right… Rotten Ya’s supposedly mysterious background.

  Bubai looked to his neighbor for more answers. “What’s so special about his identity?”

  Mo Tianhe blinked back, as if assessing his fellow clan mate’s naiveté. “Didn’t your elder fill you in?”

  Bubai squeezed out a wry smile. “Elder Ma and I… spend most of our time discussing other business together.”

  That was answer enough for everybody.

  Mo Tianhe rolled his eyes. Too-lazy-to-care was written on his face, yet he still offered some insight.

  “Well, I don’t know all the detail, but my grandfather told us all to steer clear because it’s best to not provoke that scamp.”

  At Bubai’s other side, Jia Shizi’s arm hugged Bubai’s shoulder.

  “Even my great-grandfather once warned me to not go too far, even if I am sure I could do it cleanly once and for all.”

  Bubai was kinda shocked. “That serious?”

  “Em. I heard the last guy who tried some funny business was assigned a mission outside and never came back.”

  The bald egghead added with a shrug.

  But Jia Liang just scoffed. “What’s so special? Kek, it’s just another of those privileged bunch of wastes. Sooner or later, our fists will show them their place!”

  Kinda ironic coming from the privileged himself.

  But everyone here knew better than to call Jia Liang out on that.

  Bubai tore his eyes away from one eyesore to set them on another down below.

  Gotta say, that Rotten Ya really showed a tough will to fight till the very end.

  No matter how hard he got beaten, his face was still literally written with: "Hah! There’s more where that came from!"

  Meanwhile, the grandpa had taken out a chair and was even enjoying his own cup of tea, as if saying, “By all means, take your time!”

  Thus… no surrender came out. After one finished, the battle doll passed the baton to the next.

  Clearly, all contestants were ready to do multiple laps, perhaps even a marathon!

  There’s honestly nothing exciting to watch during a marathon, but...

  Since everybody else is watching... what else can he do but watch it for the plot, too. Ahem.

  Meanwhile, Bubai could see the elders debating over something, likely regarding the free screening happening below.

  “Say...” The bald egghead Jia Hu couldn’t help piping up, “How long does elder cousin Shizi wager great-grandfather and them will tolerate it?”

  Jia Shizi grinned. “Tough to say, but those Feng Clan matriarchs aren’t the type to tolerate too much sand in their eyes. Then again…”

  He flexed, clearly entertained. “I’d be happy if they let it run the full hour. More fun for us.”

  A full hour of this nonsense?! Bubai felt the “shiver me timbers” from his little brother. Merlin’s beard, can’t a man get any rest?!

  Fortunately, it seems the patience was finally wearing thin at the top.

  “Enough. Wrap it up offstage. Clear the arena for the next round.”

  Elder Feng Luping’s chilling demand forced the party on stage to be paraded out the gates. At the same time...

  “Hahaha! The time has come! Switch!”

  The hot rose was passed along, making way for the white lily bud with pink hair bundled like a silken curtain.

  Without missing a beat, Bubai planted her where she belonged with zero hesitation.

  Oh... The faint earthy scent coming from her was the perfect soil bed to grow any men’s interest.

  Wanting to get a closer sniff from her neck, Bubai picked her up.

  She was light – light enough for him to do... whatever he wanted.

  He let his solid chest support her fair back...

  The white spaghetti strap slipped off and pooled around her slim waist...

  Their eyes met through the glass’s reflection…

  Those eyes. It was as if she was daring him… daring him to make that mistake.

  It’s just that… he was feeling particularly bold. Should he just... treat her like disposable tissue?

  Before Bubai can come to a sound decision, the call of duty came.

  “Next up, Sun Snake List Second Seat, Lian Ke, challenging… Inner Disciple Mo Bubai!”

  The drumbeats paused. His alarm blared.

  Weehoo! Weehoo! A new challenger has appeared!