February 18th.

  "Ugh. You good there?"

  "Mmhm."

  "You're... biting a little harder than usual."

  "Mm."

  How could I not be? Lately it seemed like every time we did this, it only got better and better. She'd been offering herself for years, pretty much since I turned, but something had completely changed the experience in the last few weeks.

  "Ow!" Victoria hissed, fighting the urge to pull away. "Zach! It's 'bite, release, drink,' not 'bite, drink, bite some more'!"

  I grumbled against her wrist and rolled my eyes despite my eyelids being shut tight from bliss. She should've been used to this by now, really. Or at least grateful that I didn't choose the neck this time. If I'd decided differently, she'd have passed out by now.

  "What is up with you these days?" She frowned, gently petting my hair with her free hand. "Ever since the cinema, you've been so... clingy."

  Clingy? She said it like it was a bad thing. Bit hypocritical. Deep down she'd always hoped I'd be more affectionate with her, now she was complaining about it?

  I found the strength to pull away once I realised how laboured her breaths had become. I could always feed more later, but not if she fell unconscious beforehand.

  "If you hate it so bad, pick up a cigarette or something," I muttered, "Won't wanna feed on you then."

  Victoria shook her head and began wiping my mouth with the designated blood-towel. I grimaced at the scratchy texture of the once white linen.

  "I won't be able to feed you for a few days next week, by the way." She stated. "Just a heads-up."

  Panic shot through me.

  "What?" I grabbed her wounded wrist. "Why?"

  She winced in pain. I pulled away apologetically.

  "Zach, I've gotta train for the swimming carnival. Remember? I can't compete if I'm tired and woozy all the time."

  I hesitantly nodded.

  "Am I supposed to starve, then?"

  "You're so possessive when you feed." Victoria chuckled. "I promise you'll survive a few days on animal blood. Or, if you're just too dramatic, you could always feed on one of the others."

  "Why would I feed on one of them? They're not you."

  "I should record this to show you when you sober up. You're so jealous it hurts."

  I rubbed my eyes in frustration. My mind was too hazy for a conversation right now. Glancing back to her bite wound, I grasped her wrist and brought it closer. I licked my thumb and swiped it onto the injury, forcing her skin to absorb the bloody saliva. She shuddered at the cold like she did every time.

  "Do you have to compete?" I pouted.

  "If I want extra marks in P.E? Yes." She smiled. "You've known this for months."

  "I forgot."

  I let myself lean over and collapse onto Victoria, making her yelp as I pushed her back onto the bed. A huff escaped her lungs from my weight on her chest, yet she wrapped her arms around me anyway.

  "You don't usually get this high from my blood," Tori thought aloud, "Has anything happened lately? Maybe at home?"

  "God, you're so anal..."

  "What?" She barked a laugh.

  "Analytical." I continued. "I meant analytical. Trailed off at the wrong time."

  "You're such a liar! Your accent totally gives you away."

  "I don't remember what I was saying. I'm sorry for tryna be rude."

  "You must be on cloud 9 or something."

  "Yeah. You always make me feel great."

  "Don't say it like that."

  "What? You do. You taste amazing."

  "Ew!"

  Tori hugged me tighter despite her complaints and studied the ceiling. Between her anxieties about the carnival and her worries about the vampire clinging to her like a teddy bear, her mind hadn't gotten much time to rest. Her body was rarely at full health, with how much blood she was consistently losing, and it was effecting her brain's ability to function more than she liked to admit to herself. As her thoughts continued to swarm, a familiar thread reappeared, as if offering itself as the answer.

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  "Can you drink your own blood?"

  I'd half fallen asleep by that point. It took several seconds for me to respond.

  "Not really. Tastes horrible and doesn't get rid of my hunger much at all." I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes. "Why?"

  "Well, do you think that's because it's yourself, or just how all vampire blood tastes to you?" She continued, her eyes avoiding mine like she was planning something.

  "How would I know?" I grumbled.

  Victoria bit her lip.

  "Tori?" I warned.

  "You know I love you, right?"

  "Here we go."

  "I'd do anything for you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," She blurted anxiously, "Rest of your life, rather. I mean, I don't want you to outlive me. I wanna be there with you through everything."

  "I don't wanna talk about this. I know where you're going–"

  "And I just think that if maybe you turned me, we'd get to be together forever."

  "There it is."

  "Zach, I'm serious." Victoria frowned and sat up. "Can't you just hear me out?"

  I felt a sliver of guilt, but it was quickly buried by protective instinct.

  "How can you sit there and truly believe you want this?" I whispered tensely, sitting up along with her. "After everything I've been through? Everything you've seen?"

  "All the mistakes you've made were because we didn't know what we were doing. We didn't even know you were a vampire at first. If we'd had the time to plan and prepare for it all, maybe it wouldn't have been so–"

  "I can't believe you." I scoffed. "Do you not remember the countless lives I've taken? Don't you remember the smell of a fresh corpse with how many you've had to dispose of? Don't you remember how much pain this shit has caused everyone?"

  "That's why I don't want you to suffer alone." She gulped. "If I was by your side, we could help each other. You'd never have to worry about hurting me again. Maybe we'd actually be able to be together like normal people."

  "How could you say that to me?" My face scrunched in disgust and betrayal.

  "Zach..." She retreated slightly.

  I stared at her like I barely recognised her.

  "I'll shove a stake through my windpipe and bleed out in a bed of silverleaf sooner than I'll ever even consider turning you."

  -

  God I hated myself.

  I'd thought that telling Autumn everything that happened would make her mad, or resentful, like she was before. Instead, it just made her sad. Now I felt like shit.

  "Are you sure you're gonna be alright once we get home?" London asked her, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

  "I should be fine," Autumn nodded, "I'm only gonna be there for a few minutes, anyway."

  "Seeing your own corpse won't trigger any instincts or anything?" London asked.

  "I won't know unless it does."

  This friendly little conversation was great and all, especially after all the chaos lately, except for the fact that Autumn was hugging me so tightly I could barely breathe! She'd said it was just for emotional comfort, but it felt more like possessiveness with how tight her claws were digging into my ribs.

  "Victoria," I whispered, my voice strained, "Let... go of me."

  "You're fine." She rolled her eyes. "You used to hug me like this all the time, this is revenge."

  "I'm a little confused." I tried gently prying her hands away, but her grip was surprisingly strong. "Can't you go back to wanting to kill me like the other day?"

  "In a minute."

  "In a minute?!"

  "I haven't seen you in months! Let me be clingy!"

  "You're freaking me out!"

  "Let me hug you!"

  "NO!"

  "Shut up!" London cut in. "God."

  We both fell silent in embarrassment.

  "Zach, stop complaining. Be glad she's willing to be around you again." London commanded. "And Victoria? You're being more touchy than a well fed Zach. Lay off a bit, you'll crush him."

  Autumn whined slightly and pressed her cheek against my shoulder. I shook my head in disbelief.

  Was this what I was like? No wonder everyone made fun of me.

  "Actually, when was the last time you fed?" I asked. "How do you feed in the first place?"

  "Oh. I figured that all out like... right at the start." Autumn murmured. "I realised pretty quickly that I had mind compulsion, even though Autumn was already a vampire. No idea why I got a turn of it, it should've been long gone, but I wasn't going to waste it. I spent an entire day brainstorming the most effective ways to use it without being so obvious I'd raise suspicion, and settled on donors."

  "You compelled people to donate to you?" My eyes widened.

  She nodded.

  "I thought back to how you compelled those guys to set up allowances for you so you'd always have an income, and figured I could do that with blood instead. So every morning, when I leave for work, I meet one of my coworkers outside for a quick feed."

  "Wow." London blinked wide at the road before her. "I guess, yeah, if you know about it before it fades away, you really can set yourself up."

  "Now I'm jealous. I spent months on nothing but raw meat in packets." I half joked. "But then again, you have to hold a job, while I never have to work a day in my life, so I guess that's fair."

  "Have you always smelled like cinnamon?" Autumn slurred sleepily.

  I shot her a look.

  "Oh god, you really are just like me."

  By the time we'd reached the town, I'd almost fallen asleep. The sun was finally down, casting the sky with violet hues as it slid below the horizon. It was a little stupid coming back with London driving when I was a P-Plater and Autumn almost had her full licence, but I couldn't escape Autumn's grasp if I tried. London definitely wasn't allowed to drive like this, since Victoria had such strict rules on who learner drivers can have in the car.

  ...As in, Victoria, the Australian state. Not my dead girlfriend. Easy misunderstanding, it's an inconvenient name to have here.

  Autumn was still cuddling me in the backseat like a koala. Her eyes had fluttered shut at some point, and I began to wonder if she was stirring because of a nightmare.

  "Vic," I whispered, "You awake?"

  "Mm," She mumbled, "It's just Tori."

  I frowned.

  "What do you mean?"

  "She's distressed." Autumn sighed. "Hunter was trying to get her to eat some lamb, but she was too distracted to want it. There was... some sort of animal outside? Maybe a cat on the fence? She ran outside after it, then tripped and tore open a stitch."

  I couldn't believe she experienced a constant play-by-play of her original body like that. It almost made me feel vulnerable, wondering just how many breakdowns and pathetic rants she heard me have at the start.

  "Is everything okay?" I tightened my hold on her.

  "I'm not sure." She replied, brow creasing. "It was a big wound that opened. Carly's trying to find the medical supplies, and Hunter's trying to keep Tori calm–"

  She suddenly fell limp.

  I paled.

  "Tori?"

  Nothing.

  "Victoria?" I grabbed her shoulders.

  "What happened?" London worried.

  The girl's eyes slowly opened again, but they were almost grey. Half-lidded. Lifeless. She looked around numbly in silence.

  I felt sick.

  "She body-hopped."

  "Oh shit." London said. "Uh, it should be fine, right? She'll be back in a minute."

  "I hope so." I narrowed my eyes.

  Autumn seemingly turned into the very corpse she'd just jumped back into. It felt like I was back in the early days of reanimated Tori. She surveyed the car interior slowly, her arms falling beside her. I was surprised just how much I suddenly missed the warmth of her touch.

  "She'll be fine." I repeated under my breath.