r-o-o-k-i-e

You Are Now Entering Paddlewick A Formal Preface from the Department of Orientation, Compliance, and Tone Regulation: Welcome, traveler. Whether you’ve arrived by sanctioned caravan, unlicensed mirrorgate, or—heaven help us—romantic entanglement, it is our solemn duty to inform you that you are now within the borders of Paddlewick: the Kingdom of Order, the Bastion of Structure, and home to the finest collection of correctional benches this side of the Cone. Please be advised: * All women must answer direct commands with "yes, sir" or equivalent polite acknowledgment. * Spanking is not only legal—it is applied regularly. * Magic is permitted only if properly registered, fully clothed, and not in the presence of a matron without gloves. The stories that follow do not concern the grand heroes or divine half-bloods of our age. This is not about gods, monsters, or rebellious campaigns (though some will try). These are the tales of the ordinary—guards, guides, paddle craftsmen, disciplinary record keepers, tattoo guild members, and the lucky women who are blessed to live in a society that gives them the structure and firm hand they need to thrive. These are the rhythm-makers and form-keepers—guards who recite bylaws in their sleep, paddle artisans who engrave with love, matrons who can smell insolence from two corridors away, and the lucky women who get to live in a society where men give them the structure and guidance they need. Yes, even kings and queens appear—briefly, reverently, and always with the correct paperwork. Because here in Paddlewick, greatness is not achieved through uprising… but through upright sitting. You may now proceed—quietly, reverently, and with posture appropriate to your station. And please… mind the benches. Signed: The Office of Welcome & Moderate Encouragement Paddlewick Prime, Third Spiral Registry -