Call me crazy, but I was not selling my boots for fifty dolrs.

  That was just dumb. And I was a lot of things, but being stupid enough to fall for a btant scam was not one of them.

  So instead, I closed my Buy and Sell interface, put on my shoes, and cried.

  …Okay, fine, I made that st part up. But it’s what I felt like doing.

  The elder, pletely ign my internal suffering, gave me a slow nod. “You are wele to stay in our vilge.”

  Elise snorted. “Not like he has anywhere else to go.”

  The elder ignored her. “Our situation is bad, but I ot allow you to freely walk around. If you catch whatever is floating around, we will have to tain you.”

  I sighed. “Whatever. Fine. I’ll be careful.”

  I paused, rubbing my . “So… food’s free, right?”

  The elder gave me a pointed look. “We normally have a hunter bring portions to families, but…” He trailed off, turning to Elise.

  Elise crossed her arms, gring at me. “I tried, but someone scared off my prey.”

  I gasped dramatically. “Don’t look at me. I’m i.”

  Her gre deepened.

  I coughed. “Jokes aside… why are you guys still eating animals if a disease is going around?”

  Elise bli me, then tilted her head. “What else are we supposed to do? Starve?”

  I shrugged. “I mean… I guess?”

  The elder sighed. “The animals do not seem to be affected. The disease is tained within our vilge.”

  That was… iing. “So what are the symptoms?”

  The elder frowned slightly. “Are you a healer?”

  I scoffed. “I’m just a stru worker. I don’t know anything about medie.”

  “Then why do you ask?”

  I leaned ba my chair. “Because if I’m going to die from some medieval pgue, I’d like to know ahead of time.”

  The elder nodded slowly, as if that was the most reasohing I had said since arriving. “We do have a healer, Marta, but she is old, and her apprentice was one of the first to pass.”

  I winced. “Ouch. That sucks.”

  Elise folded her arms. “There’s no cure, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  I frowned. “You ’t cure what you don’t know, huh?”

  “Exactly.”

  I sighed and leaned forward. “Alright, what about this king you mentioned? He didn’t send any help?”

  The elder’s face darkened slightly. “King Ro aid at first, but when that healer caught the disease and died, they quickly set up a barricade. Now, he is simply waiting for us to die before he scorches the nd.”

  I blinked. “Oh. Damn. That’s… cold.”

  Then, for some reason, I grinned. “But also… kind of smart. Like, really smart.”

  Elise’s head soward me, her face a mixture of shod disgust. “Are you insane?!”

  I shrugged. “Hey, I’m not the one who made the call. The king’s just c his bases. Effit.”

  Elise scowled. “You’re lucky we’re far away from the capital, or you’d be hung.”

  I blinked. “Huh? For what?”

  “Your speech for one,” she snapped. “You ’t just go around badmouthing the king.”

  I poi the elder. “He did it.”

  Elise facepalmed.

  The elder let out a soft chuckle. “Do not mind her. She is simply… wound up.”

  “Gee, I wonder why,” I muttered.

  The elder stood up. “Elise, take our new friend to Matthew’s pce.”

  Elise raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

  I frowned. “What’s wrong with it?”

  Elise said nothing.

  I squinted. “Wait, it’s not some abandoned in the woods where anyone just sneak in, kill me in the middle of the night, and leave my corpse to rot for days—right?”

  The elder gave me a bnk look. “You have a strange imagination.”

  I sighed. “I’ve seen a lot of movies.”

  The elder tilted his head. “Movies?”

  “Eai,” I expined. “It’s like a py. You know what a py is, right?”

  The elder nodded. “Ah. I have not seen one since my adventuring years.”

  I blinked. “Wait. You were an adventurer?”

  The elder smiled faintly. “Sixty-nine years ago.”

  I stared.

  Sixty. Nine. Years.

  “…Holy shit.”

  The elder chuckled. “Indeed, if that phrase means what I think it does.”

  I smirked. “It probably does.”

  The elder nodded. “I am one hundred and fifteen this year.”

  I blinked. “Damn. You’re a.”

  The elder let out a deep ugh, shaking his head. “Go now, before my boart to ache.”

  Elise nodded and turoward the door. “e on, Dan.”

  I sighed and followed her outside. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still gray, the air thick with the st of damp earth.

  As we walked, a question popped into my head. “Hey… was the elder getting high?”

  Elise blinked. “What?”

  “You know, drugged up. Easing his pain or something?”

  Her face twisted in fusion. “Oh! Yeah, no.”

  “Then what was all that smoke?”

  Elise shrugged. “Herbs. Meant to calm the nerves.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “So… weed?”

  Elise shot me a look but didn’t say anything.

  This entire vilge is weird.

  I decided not to dwell on it and instead asked, “So, what’s the deal with this Matthew guy? Is he dead or something? I’m not just gonna walk into some stranger’s house and start living with him, right?”

  Elise let out an exhausted sigh. “You really don’t shut up, do you?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s kind of a g thing. I’m scared shitless, but if I try really hard not to think about it, it almost feels better.”

  She gave me a sideways gnce. “And how’s that w out for you?”

  I exhaled. “It’s a work in progress, but I’ll let you know in an hour or two.”

  Elise snorted.

  I turned back to the real question. “So… Matthew?”

  She hesitated before answering. “He was the elder’s son. Died in a hunting act a few years back.”

  “Gotcha.”

  We fell into silence for a few moments before I asked, “So, about the disease… What exactly are the symptoms?”

  Elise gave me a brief rundown—the fever, the coughing, the eventual an failure.

  I tried really hard to dig through my brain, searg for any familiarity, but nothing came to mind. I wasn’t a doctor, and this wasn’t some modern illness I could reize.

  Just great.

  Finally, we arrived at a small house he edge of the vilge. It looked better than most, but that wasn’t saying much. The wooden windows were hanging off, the door was barely on its hinges, and the roof looked like it could colpse if I soo hard.

  I exhaled, hands on my hips. “Yeah… I think I make this work.”

  Then I stepped inside.

  And immediately regretted it.

  Because crawling up the wall was a giant-ass spider the size of my hand.

  I froze. My body screamed NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

  “Nope. Fuck this shit.” I turned right back around.

  Elise burst out ughing. “What? Afraid of a little spider?”

  I poi the demoure that was casually skittering toward the ceiling. “That thing is not little.”

  Elise smirked. “That’s only a baby. Wait till you see its mother.”

  I shivered. “Please tell me you do not expect me to live here.”

  Elise grinned. “It’s here, or out in the wilderness. Take your pick.”

  I thought about it for all of two seds. “Got a broom?”

  “There might be one inside, but you’ll have to look for it.”

  I sighed. “Alright, are you gonna help me?”

  Elise let out a ugh. “No. I have work to do.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What work?”

  “Vilge work.” She smirked. “I’ll be by in the m to make sure you’re not dead.”

  I scoffed. “Hahaha. Not funny.”

  She gave me a mog wave and walked off, leaving me aloh the spider-ied house from hell.

  This was still the worst isekai ever.

  I took a deep breath. Okay, Dan. It’s just a spider.

  A big spider. A horrifyingly oversized spider.

  But still just a spider.

  All I had to do was kill it.

  Simple, right?

  I stepped forward cautiously, my hand h he door as I peeked inside.

  The spider was still there, ging to the wall, its beady bck eyes locked onto mine.

  We made eye tact.

  A cold shiver ran down my spine.

  For a moment, I stood there, staring at it. Then, slowly, I raised my middle finger.

  “You’re not sg anyone.”

  The spider’s fangs twitched.

  I barely had time to process it before something shot out of its mouth.

  A wet, hissing sound filled the air as a stream of liquid flew across the room—

  —SPLAT.

  It hit the wall o me.

  A burning, acidic stench filled my nose as the wood began sizzling.

  I turned very, very slowly to look.

  The wall was melting.

  I blinked.

  Then I blinked again.

  Then, with all the grace of a man who valued his life, I stepped out of the house and smmed the door shut.

  I exhaled loudly, rubbing my hands together as I muttered, “Oh, hell no.”

  I took a few steps back, my brain struggling to catch up.

  Baby spider, my ass.

  That thing was huge.

  That thing spit venom.

  That thing was a walkih sentence.

  There was no way in hell I was going ba there.

  I looked around. The vilge was dead silent. The sky had darkened, casting eerie shadows over the crumbling houses.

  I swallowed. Okay. Think.

  I didn’t pn on sleeping outside. But how the hell was I supposed to kill that demon spawn from hell iing my new home?

  I opened my Buy and Sell interface, scrolling through the search bar.

  Bug bombs.

  20 per .

  Okay, not bad.

  Bug repellent – 30.

  Might work, but did I really want to just repel it?

  I Death – 50.

  That sounded promising. No idea what it was, but it had death in the name, so…

  I Love Spray – 15.

  I shivered. What kind of sick bastard ied that?

  I sighed. “Alright. If I’m not spending money, I need a stick.”

  A big ol’ whag stick.

  Or some rocks.

  I turned, looking at the forest just outside the vilge.

  “Guess I’m going back out…”

  Unless I could find something useful in this run-down ghost town.

  I walked through the empty vilge, my footsteps muffled by the damp ground. The silence was eerie. No torches lit the streets, no voices called out, and the few remaining houses that still looked livable had their doors shut tight.

  It was uling.

  I rubbed my arms, gng around. “Okay, Dan. Think. Big stick, rocks… maybe a rusty sword? Anything?”

  The forest loomed ahead, its dark trees swaying slightly in the wind. I wasly thrilled about stepping bato the unknown, but I wasn’t about to barehand box a spider that spits acid.

  I sed the ground, hoping to find a nice, solid branch or some loose stones, when a loy voice called out behind me.

  “You look lost, boy.”

  I jumped.

  I spun around so fast I almost tripped over my ow. Standing a few feet away, half-hidden in the shadows, was a frail old woman.

  Her skin was leathery and wrinkled, her hunched frame draped in tattered robes. Wild gray hair framed her face, and her sharp, sunken eyes gleamed in the darkness.

  She looked a.

  And just a little bit scary.

  “Uh—hi?” I said, trying not to sound like I was about to bolt.

  She squi me, gripping a wooden staff that looked older than she was. “Haven’t seen you before.”

  “Yeah, I’m… new.”

  She hummed. “That so?”

  I nodded slowly, unsure where this was going. “And you are…?”

  “Matra,” she said simply.

  ht.

  The vilge healer.

  Or what was left of one.

  I cleared my throat. “o meet you, Matra. I was just, uh… looking for something to kill a spider.”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “A spider?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Big one. Spits acid.”

  Matra blihen, without missing a beat, she said, “You staying in Matthew’s old pce?”

  I frowned. “Uh… yeah?”

  She nodded knowingly. “Mmh. That’ll be the web lurker.”

  My stomach dropped. “I’m sorry—the what?”

  Matra sighed. “Damn things like to in abandoned homes. No one’s lived there sithew passed.”

  I exhaled sharply. “Okay, great. So, how do I kill it?”

  Matra stared at me for a long moment, then shrugged. “Burn the house down.”

  I stared.

  She was dead serious.

  I pihe bridge of my nose. “Okay. New pn. Ohat doesn’t involve arson.”

  Matra hummed, tappiaff against the ground. “If it’s a juvenile, you might be able to kill it with a strong enough strike to the head. But you’ll o be quick. If it spits, you’ll be melted before you blink.”

  I swallowed hard.

  She made that sound way too casual.

  “So… you got any ons lying around?”

  Matra snorted. “You think I’m h swords in my shack?”

  “Hey, you never know.”

  She shook her head. “No ons, boy. But if you need a stick, I have an old walking e.”

  I brightened slightly. “That could work!”

  Matra turoward a nearby house and shuffled inside, leaving me awkwardly standing in the dark.

  I sighed, gng back at the forest. Maybe I’d have better luck just grabbing a rock.

  A few moments ter, Matra returned, holding a gnarled wooden e.

  She held it out to me.

  I took it.

  It was surprisingly sturdy.

  I gave it a test swing, nodding to myself. “Okay, yeah. This’ll do.”

  Matra huffed. “Good. Now go kill that damn spider so it doesn’t start ying eggs.”

  I froze.

  “…Eggs?”

  Matra smiled.

  I didn’t like that smile.

  I tightened my grip on the e and turned back toward the house of nightmares.

  Tonight was going to suck.