I stared at the massive, bd-red nightmare in front of me.

  The Empress clicked her huge, serrated fangs, her many eyes locked onto me with pure hatred.

  I turo Elise, shoving both spray s into her hands.

  “Here. You ha.”

  She immediately shoved them back.

  “This is your skill. You know how best to use it.”

  I pushed them bato her hands. “Right. Which is why you should have them.”

  She shoved them back. “Dan.”

  I shoved them back. “Elise.”

  We gred at each other.

  The Empress reared back, hissing loudly, her shadow engulfing us both.

  I quickly shoved the s o time.

  “Fine! I’ll do it!”

  Elise grinned. “That’s the spirit!”

  Then she immediately ran away.

  I blinked.

  “…Wait. WHAT?!”

  I spun back to the Empress, who was now charging toward me.

  “Oh, fuck me.”

  I held up a , pointing it right at her face.

  “SSSHHHHHH—”

  The mist sprayed directly at her.

  The Empress flinched.

  Paused.

  And then—

  She shook her head.

  A ing.

  I blinked.

  “Oh, e on!”

  I sprayed more.

  Nothing.

  She hissed angrily, clig her huge mandibles.

  The spray had only pissed her off.

  “This is some bullshit! Why aren’t you w?!”

  An arrow whizzed past me, hitting the Empress right in the eye.

  She screeched, reeling back.

  I turo see Elise notg another arrow.

  “That helped!” I shouted.

  Elise rolled her eyes. “Barely.”

  The Empress recovered way too fast.

  I emptied the st of my spray into her face.

  She recoiled slightly.

  Then charged forward anyway.

  I stared at my y s.

  “…Welp. I tried.”

  Then I turned and ran.

  I bolted past Elise.

  “It’s your turn!” I shouted.

  Elise hesitated.

  Then turned—

  And ran after me.

  The Empress roared, her massive legs shaking the ground as she pursued us.

  “Do you have any more tricks up your sleeve?!” Elise demanded as she ran beside me.

  I gred at her. “What do you think I am, a walking onry?!”

  “Yes.”

  I huffed. “I ’t just magically get rid of problems, okay?”

  Elise gave me a look. “Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been doing so far?”

  I hesitated.

  “…Okay. Fair point.”

  I yanked open my marketpce as I sprinted, desperately searg.

  Then, I saw it.

  Spider, No Spidering – 500

  I clicked it.

  “Got a spider problem? Raid Super Max not w? Then try our brand-new product, that gets rid of ONE spider with NO harm to one!

  Discimer: This item only works on ONE spider and ONE spider ONLY, and if you miss, that’s on you!”

  I stared.

  “…Are you fug kidding me?”

  Elise g me. “What? What did you find?”

  I gritted my teeth. “I might have something.”

  Elise’s eyes widened. “Then bring it out!”

  I sighed. “I have no money.”

  Elise nearly tripped. “Are you serious?!”

  “Very!”

  Elise groaned. “How much do you need?”

  I winced. “A lot.”

  Elise sed the battlefield. “’t you just sell some corpses or something?!”

  I gestured around us.

  “DO YOU SEE ANY?!”

  I whirled around, throwing up my hands.

  “Because I must be blind!”

  I pointed wildly at the rampaging, murderous Empress right behind us.

  “THERE’S NOTHING HERE!” I shouted as we ran for our lives.

  Elise groaned. “Then figure something out!”

  I huffed. “Oh sure! Lemme just pull a thousand dolrs out of my ass!”

  Elise side-eyed me. “ you do that?”

  I nearly tripped. “NO.”

  Elise sighed. “Damn. Worth a shot.”

  Behind us, the Empress roared, her massive legs shaking the ground as she skittered over rooftops, destroying everything in her path.

  I stole a gnce over my shoulder—

  And immediately regretted it.

  “…Y’know what?” I gasped. “I don’t wanna die.”

  Elise nodded. “Same.”

  I waved my hands frantically. “Then HELP ME GET SOME GODDAMN MONEY!”

  Before she could answer—

  A fming projectile flew overhead, smashing into the Empress’s side.

  She shrieked, momentarily stopping her charge.

  I whipped around just in time to see Matra standing a few feet away, smoke rising from her fiips.

  Beside her, Garron stood covered in even mreen spider guts, gripping his massive sword.

  “Finally!” Elise panted. “Where the hell were you guys?!”

  Garron gritted his teeth. “Fighting twenty giant spiders.”

  Matra rolled her eyes. “Babysitting him.”

  Garron gave her a look.

  I wheezed. “Yeah, yeah, cool, great.”

  Then, without wasting another sed—

  I opened my marketpd started selling everything I could get my hands on.

  A broken pnk of wood I ran past?

  0.05 ts.

  A rusty nail stu the dirt?

  0.02 ts.

  A random-ass pebble?

  0.01 t.

  Matra blinked. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Making money.” I grabbed a half-burnt piece of cloth, selling it for 0.07 ts.

  Elise watched me, fused. “Are you seriht now?”

  “Dead serious!” I picked up a chipped brick, threw it into the marketpce, and got 0.09 ts.

  Matra squinted. “You’re selling garbage.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, well, desperate times call for desperate measures!”

  I swiped a wooden spoon off the ground. 0.15 ts.

  I yanked a half-rotten board from a colpsed building. 0.03 ts.

  I grabbed a single chi feather that was floating by. 0.02 ts.

  Elise groaned. “This is actually painful to watch.”

  Garron raised an eyebrow. “What exactly are y to buy?”

  “Something to get rid of that!” I jabbed a fi the Empress, who had recovered and was now skittering toward us again, furious.

  Garron turned pale.

  Matra sighed. “I liked the part where we were winning.”

  I shoved my hands into a pile of rubble, selling a bunch of tiny rocks for 0.20 ts total.

  I checked my bance.

  268.50 ? 278.23.

  Not even halfway there.

  I groaned. “This is going to take forever!”

  Elise smacked my shoulder. “Dan! This isn’t w!”

  “No shit!”

  Matra grumbled. “Then maybe stop selling garbage and start selling something worth money?!”

  I froze.

  Then, slowly, I turo her.

  “…How much do you think I get for your e?”

  I kept selling.

  Anything and everything.

  A dented pot? 0.25 ts.A snapped b? 0.18 ts.A handful of dirt? 0.01 ts.Elise rubbed her forehead. “Dan, this is ridiculous.”

  I gred. “Do you have a better idea?!”

  Matra muttered, “Still waiting on him to sell his clothes.”

  I squi her. “Give me five more minutes, and we might be there.”

  Garron cleared his throat. “The corpses.”

  I blinked. “Huh?”

  Garroured back toward where they’d fought earlier. “The spiders we killed.”

  I stared.

  Then gasped.

  “Oh my god, you’re a genius!”

  I sprinted off toward the battleground, ign Elise’s shouted protests.

  What I found was…

  A massacre.

  A good twenty adult spiders y dead, some still oozing disgusting green fluids.

  I grinned.

  Jackpot.

  I whipped open my marketpce, visualized the corpses vanishing, and—

  278.50 ? 1,178.50.

  I gasped.

  “HOLY SHIT.”

  I turned, sprinting right back to the group.

  “I’M RICH, BITCHES!” I shouted as I ran.

  Elise groaned. “Oh, gods, no.”

  Matra raised an eyebrow. “I respect the hustle.”

  I slid to a stop beside them and immediately bought the item.

  Spider, No Spidering – 500

  Purchase firmed!

  I held my breath, waiting for some godly miracle on to drop into my hands.

  Something legendary.

  Something divine.

  Something game-breaking.

  And then—

  FWUMP.

  A single, rge arrow dropped into my hands.

  A very normal-looking arrow.

  Except… it was on fire.

  I blinked.

  “…What.”

  The others stared at it.

  Matra’s eye twitched. “That’s it?”

  I looked at the arrow.

  Then back at them.

  Then back at the arrow.

  I sighed.

  Shrugged.

  And ha to Elise.

  “Here. Have fun.”

  Elise stared at the fming arrow in her hands.

  Then at me.

  Then at the rampaging Empress spider in the distance.

  “…This is it?” she asked ftly.

  I crossed my arms. “Hey, don’t look at me. This thing cost 500.”

  Matra squinted. “For an arrow?”

  Garron sighed. “I expected something… bigger.”

  I threw up my hands. “Me too, buddy!”

  The Empress shrieked, barreling toward us, crushing buildings under her massive, spiked legs.

  Elise gritted her teeth, raising her bow.

  “Alright. Let’s see what this thing do.”

  She he arrow, pulling the string back tight.

  The fire burned hotter, almost glowing.

  The air around us shimmered from the heat.

  I swallowed. “Uh. Is it supposed to do that?”

  Matra narrowed her eyes. “That’s… iing.”

  Garron just took a step back. “Maybe aim well.”

  The Empress roared, her massive fangs dripping with acid as she prepared to unother attack.

  Elise exhaled.

  Then—released.

  FWOOOOOSH!

  The arrow shot forward, cutting through the air like a et.

  It struck right between the Empress’s eight eyes.

  The instant it nded—

  BOOM!

  The entire Empress burst into fmes.

  I stared.

  Matra stared.

  Garron stared.

  Even Elise looked shocked.

  The Empress screeched, filing as the fmes engulfed her body.

  She thrashed wildly, smashing into nearby houses—which also immediately caught on fire.

  She colpsed against the town’s wooden watchtower—which also caught on fire.

  Then, as she made one final agonized leap, she crashed into the barn, which—

  Yep.

  Also caught on fire.

  I slowly turo Elise.

  “…Did you just burn down half the vilge?”

  She hesitated.

  Then turo Matra.

  Matra nodded. “Yup. That happened.”

  The Empress finally stopped moving, her charred body colpsing in a heap of smoking, bed exoskeleton.

  Silence.

  I wiped my forehead. “Welp. Problem solved.”

  Elise sighed. “Now we just have another problem.”

  I g the raging fires spreading across the vilge.

  “…Yeah. That tracks.”

  IDislikeShonen