February 23rd, 9:30pm.

  "Do you regret meeting me?"

  "Hm?"

  I gulped down the blood in my mouth and pulled away for a moment, trying to meet Victoria's eyes but struggling from intoxication. I wiped the blood off my face.

  "Why would I regret meeting you?" My voice came out in a slur.

  "If we'd never met, you'd still be human." She mumbled back, just as out of it as me. "If I hadn't invited you over that night, you never would've had to walk home in the dark. It's kinda my fault you got attacked."

  "If you're going down that route, we could blame anyone I've met for what happened." I grumbled, looking back to her bleeding wrist. "I could never regret meeting you, you're the only thing keeping me from drowning in all this. If anything, don't you regret meeting me?"

  "I could leave at any time." She shrugged. "Anything that happens to me because of you is my own choice."

  Instead of replying, I bit back into her wrist to continue drinking. I felt her flinch a little, even after all this time.

  "How are you still hungry? You fed before we left the carnival." She frowned. "You're gonna drain me dry at this point."

  I mumbled something that was supposed to sound like 'I dunno' but came out as a mess.

  I could only guess it was the result of being on the animals-only diet for half a week. I'd already had my fill but the cravings weren't going away. It was a little frustrating.

  "Okay, okay," she flicked my forehead, "Enough."

  "Ow!" I pulled away.

  "You probably shouldn't bite me when I'm drinking, now that I think about it." Victoria glanced to the beer in her other hand. "Did it taste any different? Thinner or something?"

  "A little diluted." My nose scrunched at the scent of the beer. "A little bitter."

  "Alright, I'll stop." She sighed, getting up. "Don't wanna taint my precious blood with drugs."

  Victoria unzipped the tent door and climbed out. She approached a bush and knelt down before pouring out what was left of the bottle. My eyes tracked her movements while I stayed on the bedding, constantly looking back to her wound. Still fresh, still open, still tempting.

  As she came back, she halted in the entrance and deadpanned.

  "Zach. Eyes."

  "I'm still hungry." I mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "Give me a second."

  "They're kinda glowing."

  "What?!"

  I grabbed my phone and stared at my blurry reflection in the screen. Glowing was an exaggeration, the red was reflecting at best. Like the eyes of cats in photos, almost.

  "Don't scare me like that." I huffed.

  Victoria climbed back in and sat herself down across from me. While I reached over and licked her wound to heal it, she picked up her phone and started shuffling through playlists, the speaker under her pillow only playing the first two seconds of each song before she'd change her mind rather annoyingly.

  Losing interest, I collapsed back on my sleeping bag and let myself drown in the buzzing sensation of the blood.

  "When we first met, why did you hate me?"

  A solid seven seconds is what it took for me to process her words through my daze. My eyes narrowed and I met her gaze.

  "I didn't hate you. What's with all this stuff about the past?"

  "You yelled at me when I tried to call an ambulance." Tori blinked. "You kept scowling at me all night."

  "I was fourteen. I was insecure." I countered. "My ankle was freshly broken, my skateboard was snapped in pieces, and I'd cut a cat in half, of course I was snappy when some stranger ran at me and started mocking me–"

  "I didn't mock you, I was just blunt." She smirked. "You tried to tackle me to stop me from calling anyone."

  "I'd severed a cat in half with my board!" I scoffed. "I thought I'd get arrested or something."

  "That poor cat." Victoria sighed. "It died so slowly, too. All the guts were everywhere."

  "Please don't remind me of the one thing human-me killed."

  "Sorry."

  "Look, maybe it took me a few weeks to warm up to you when you moved to my school, but I never hated you. I thought you were weird and probably sick, and I found your hair questionable at best, but the worst you did was confuse me. I could never hate you."

  "Would you hate me if I dyed my hair brown?"

  "No. What?"

  "What if I dyed my hair like a neon green and got a mohawk?"

  "Tori, you could be a zombie for all I care and I'd still love you."

  "Okay but what if I looked completely different?" She continued anyway. "What if I was blonde and wore everything leopard print and had tattoos only on my face, no where else?"

  "You think that's worse than being a zombie?" It was my turn to smirk. "Can't you get the picture? I don't care what you look like. You're you."

  For a brief moment, she went quiet and her cheeks burned. She cleared her throat rather obviously and averted her gaze.

  "Well I'd break up with you if you went blonde."

  "What?!" My jaw dropped and I sat up. "That's where you draw the line? I'm a murderer!"

  "So's my dad and he doesn't bleach his hair! Blonde would never suit you." She crossed her arms, her expression a little too serious. "I can excuse your crimes against humankind, but not against fashion."

  "You're naturally blonde!"

  "And I hide it with dye!"

  It was hard to tell whether it was the ambient light of the lanterns scattered across her face or the pink rising in her cheeks that made her glisten like a campfire. The slight pout in her frustrated expression was adorable. Maybe it was the alcohol making her a little extra stubborn. Either way, she'd never looked more beautiful.

  Her messily braided hair fell over her collarbone, shifting every time her hands waved while she ranted. Patches of blue face-paint and glitter lingered under her eyes from her swimming carnival makeup. Her mascara had smudged from the water. She was wearing one of the many shirts she'd snatched from my closet, the collar cut off to let it sit loosely and expose a shoulder. Her necklace was backwards. Her shorts were dirty.

  She was stunning.

  "Are you even listening to me?"

  "Not in the slightest." I murmured, infatuated. "But go on."

  Victoria only grew more pink. She huffed dramatically in hopes of hiding it.

  "Being high on blood is no excuse to drown out my incredibly important debates."

  "Uh huh."

  "I make good points! I have things to say! I have opinions to express!"

  "Mm."

  "Like the other day when we were debating which fast food brand has the best fried chicken. You couldn't even remember how any of them tasted and got bored when I was in the middle of explaining how roast chicken is far superior to fried in the first place."

  "I'm sure."

  "Or earlier when I was trying to tell you how you shouldn't be able to taste marshmallows if you can't taste anything else and – why are you so close right now?"

  "Huh?" I blinked.

  Oh.

  I was an inch from her face. I hadn't even noticed I was leaning in.

  "Um." She fully turned red and stared at me, not moving away.

  "Uh." I looked away but didn't make a move either.

  I felt her hand fall gently onto my own and my heart rate spiked.

  Why was I blushing? We'd been dating for four years. She'd held my hand before. We'd been this close before. Was it the blood? Had I not calmed down yet? Was it still enhancing every sensation?

  "Are you alright?" Tori whispered, her head tilting. "Does it burn?"

  I shook my head a little, blinking dumbly at her.

  "Are my eyes still red?"

  "Like a fire."

  "I feel normal. Mostly." I mumbled. "I don't think it's worth worrying about."

  Her hand squeezed my own tighter and I thought I might die. The song on the speaker only made me fall harder. I couldn't think about anything but her. Her eyes, her voice, her touch.

  "Can I try something stupid?"

  "What kind of stupid?" She smiled a little.

  "Like 'kiss you' stupid?"

  Her eyes widened and her smile faded with surprise. I could see the millions of thoughts racing through her mind about the offer, the risks, the past. I felt bad for catching her off guard.

  "Is that safe?" She finally spoke.

  "I feel fine." I shrugged, clearly flushing. "Worth trying?"

  Victoria hesitated further, her brow creasing. She took a few moments to study me, the state I was in. I understood completely, I couldn't blame her skepticism. I'd never been the one to initiate anything that ever ended well. Maybe part of her was worried it was a trap of some kind.

  I frowned. "We don't have to."

  "I think it would... be fine, if we monitored you." Tori replied quietly, blushing a little at the thought. "Would you be okay with stopping the second you feel any sort of pain or burning?"

  "Of course." I leaned a little closer. "I don't want you to get hurt."

  "Yeah." She smiled. "Um... yeah. It..."

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  I chuckled. "You good there?"

  "I'll be fine." Tori's hand came up to rest against my cheek. "We'll be careful. Okay?"

  "Okay." I whispered, biting back my nerves.

  Finally, after years of fighting the thought, I let my eyes fall shut and kissed Victoria.

  "AH!"

  Falling off the bed was not how I'd expected to wake up. I'd barely had the time to register reality and snap out of my dream. Without the warmth of Autumn and the blanket, I was left shivering from the winter morning. I pushed myself up from the carpet and groaned.

  "Ow."

  Autumn sleepily peeked over her shoulder to me. She didn't say anything, barely conscious. For a long moment she seemingly forgot to blink.

  "I'm fine." I assured her, getting up. "You can go back to sleep."

  She continued to stare. There was a slight cloudiness to her eyes.

  "Vic?" I frowned. "You good?"

  She tilted her head.

  Oh no.

  "Shit shit shit." I hissed, racing up to her and checking her over. "How did you switch? You were asleep!"

  My words didn't get through to her. Her shoulders slumped, her eyes glossed over. She barely comprehended that I was speaking. Somehow Autumn had gotten lost in the husk state Tori usually was, which meant her soul was back home right now. That wasn't that bad of an issue, but whether or not she was awake for it probably was. She'd never mentioned switching in her sleep, so I wasn't sure if this had happened before or not.

  What was I supposed to do?

  "Please come back." I grabbed her shoulders a little desperately. "Can you hear me? You can usually hear both perspectives, right? Are you awake?"

  Autumn lazily raked her hand through her messy hair, uninterested.

  "Victoria?"

  No response.

  "Autumn?"

  Nothing.

  "Breathe. Breathe." My feet sent me pacing the room. "She's fine. Maybe this happens every night. She'll wake up eventually and come back."

  Right?

  The growling of my stomach forced my eyes to roll. I didn't need a second problem at the moment. This had been why I'd always hated donor feeding. Sure it was the most ethical option, and it was fully consensual, but the rations had to be incredibly small else the donor would pass out, leaving me starving after just one day.

  Before February, I'd gone on and off with donor feeding from Victoria for a very long time. If she didn't have it in her to keep up with that much bloodletting, she'd let me feed on a stranger occasionally so long as they survived. I was okay with that, it was an alright system. I'd trialed a million different ways to feed on people without blacking out or killing them over the years, and narrowed the best opportunities down to raves and clubs where people wouldn't remember much anyway, or planned hookups, but I hated the latter. I'd have to have uncomfortable conversations on dating apps to lure someone somewhere I could feed on them. Maybe if I'd been single it wouldn't have felt so disgusting. In all fairness, it had been Tori's idea. Guess we were both sick in the head.

  "You're probably hungry too, huh?" I turned back to Autumn, who was still empty. "You donor feed like I do."

  I wondered if I could use that to wake her up somehow. Could I dangle chicken under her nose like sniffing salts? Maybe.

  "Uh, alright. I'll go raid your fridge." I took a deep breath. "You stay here. Got it? Don't move a muscle!"

  I pointed a finger at her with a dramatic glare while I slowly backed out of the bedroom. She was too interested in her hands to care. It really was uncanny how she became a new Tori with her soul gone.

  Maybe that was how all vampires acted without their souls?

  I shut the door and raced down the staircase as quickly as I could. Unlike my house, the curtains were all open here. Early morning sunlight infected the majority of the place. Dodging it all was like dancing in a field of lasers.

  "SHIT!" I growled at the sting that hit my right side once I reached the kitchen. "Oh for god's sake!"

  I jumped back into the shade and snarled at the window like it would care. My chest heaved. I chose to ignore the very clear burns that had formed on my arm and my cheek, and that my right eye couldn't actually see a thing.

  Being blinded in one eye wasn't that bad compared to all the shit I went through on a regular basis anyway.

  "I hate donor feeding!" I groaned. "I'm so weak!"

  The freezer was next to face my wrath. I yanked the door open and snatched the first packet of frozen meat I saw. Straight to the microwave to defrost.

  The quiet hum of the appliance kind of pissed me off, honestly. Everything was starting to. The electricity in the walls, the noises of the fridge's fans, the clock on the wall, the dog barking across the street.

  Donor feeding withdrawals were almost as bad as animal feeding withdrawals. I could last maybe twenty hours alright after drinking from a wrist, but after that checkpoint every extra hour doubled the hunger and the overstimulation. The withdrawals from human blood that came from a diet of animal meat were more like unnecessarily long hangovers... but with your chance of dying throughout the day spiking to 80%. Headaches, brittle bones, muscle deterioration, severe anaemia and all the problems that it came with, and of course the ability to turn to ash from UV radiation.

  "If I put my hand under those UV lamps used for nail polish while on animal blood... would I die?" I murmured the thought aloud as I watched the microwave tray spin. "Or would my hand explode?"

  I was tired, I'm sorry. I could barely form a coherent thought at all.

  As I was saying, donor feeding was not ideal, and spending every morning halfway to insane was proof that–

  BEEP BEEP

  Nevermind.

  I grabbed the packet of defrosted lamb chops and dropped it on the countertop. A slight wince left me as my claws shot out and I tore it open. I was supposed to be giving these to Autumn to wake her up, but at this point I was too hungry and they smelled too good.

  "Oh thank god." My eyes rolled in bliss at first bite.

  Whoever had bought these had paid a lot of money, they were clearly pretty high quality. The meat I'd usually buy was alright, but the lamb chops I was digging into like an animal were incredible. I could already feel my blinded eye healing.

  I ignored the juices running down my chin, and I didn't even notice the mess I was making. I was starving.

  One other thing I probably should've noticed sooner was the woman standing in the doorway in shock.

  Oops.

  "Fuck." I muttered, freezing.

  It was one of Autumn's roommates – which I'd forgotten even existed. She didn't blink, eyes too wide in fear. She'd only just woken up, judging by her pyjamas and the state of her hair, so it was taking a while to register what she had walked in on.

  I on the other hand looked ridiculous. Exhausted, rabid, probably wild. My vision was pinkish which meant my eyes had turned red, and I knew for a fact my fangs were dripping blood.

  "Um," I carefully put the meat down, "Hi."

  "Hi." The girl mumbled back.

  "Please don't scream." I panicked. "I-I'm not a threat or anything."

  Her mouth began to open like she was seconds from disobeying my plead.

  "No no no!" I ran over to her.

  She shrieked and dashed for the staircase. Following her, I growled in pain as the stupid sunlight hit my other side, and my other eye's retina was burned off.

  "Damn it!" I hissed. "Don't run!"

  The girl tripped on the final stair, giving me the perfect opportunity to grab her ankle. If only I could see.

  Instead, I leapt off my feet and pounced at her. For a moment I had to wrap my arms around her and restrain her while she thrashed, convinced I was going to hurt her. I huffed and pinned her down, glaring down at her with one side of my vision completely gone and the other only half working.

  "I said don't run!" I barked.

  She trembled and stared up at me like I was a monster.

  Shit, was I?

  To her I was a total stranger who had raided her kitchen to feast on raw meat. I didn't look human. Worse than that, I'd chased her and grabbed her.

  It was so easy to forget that people didn't automatically know I was a vampire, or anything about me. I was used to everyone in my inner circle being very much aware of it all. It had totally slipped my mind that I was expected to be human by this woman, and she had no idea what I was or if she was safe.

  "Shit, I'm sorry." I sighed, relaxing my grip on her but not letting her go just yet. "You must be so scared."

  The girl reluctantly nodded just slightly.

  "You're fine. I-I promise I won't hurt you." My vision began to recover finally. "I just wanted the lamb. Please don't scream or run away."

  No response.

  "Zach?!" Autumn's voice came from behind me as she marched out of her room, once again herself.

  Well fuck.

  I looked over to her and nervously smiled.

  "Hey..."

  "Oh my god!" She gaped. "What happened?!"

  Autumn came over and tore me off of the roommate. I took a little offence to that but kept quiet and sat still while she checked over the other woman.

  "I fucked up. I know. I'm so sorry." I started. "She saw me eating raw lamb. I didn't try to hurt her, I just didn't want her to scream."

  Autumn glared at me but turned back to her friend.

  "Paige, are you alright?"

  "I think so." Paige nodded, breathing shakily. "I just don't understand what's going on."

  "Are you alright?" I grabbed Autumn's shoulder. "You switched in your sleep."

  "Give me a damn second!" She raised her voice.

  My eyes widened at that. She wasn't usually one to yell. It made me feel... smaller? Kind of like a kicked puppy.

  "Ignore him, he's a moron." Autumn muttered to the girl. "Are you hurt at all?"

  "I told you, I'm fine." Paige frowned defensively. "The hell happened? Who is he? What is he?"

  "Zach, go to my room." Autumn growled. "Now."

  Wow. I really had fucked up.

  I nodded and silently obeyed, nervously locking myself in her bedroom. I leaned back against the wall and sighed.

  This was a first for me. Somehow.

  Been a vampire for four years but never once had a situation where I'd been exposed to an unknowing person. Everyone who knew had been there when it all started and figured it out alongside me. People like Jean, that bartender, and that lady whose name was Maxine I think had all figured it out on their own, that was different to this. It was a miracle I'd gone this long without this happening. Had I screwed up Autumn's situation? She'd worked so hard to build a secure life and live with it all a secret, and I'd exposed myself less than a day into her life. I sucked.

  The door opened and Autumn stumbled inside. I spun around and grabbed her arms.

  "Woah. Careful." I murmured. "What's wrong?"

  "I compelled her to forget." Autumn shook her head. "It's just... been a while, I guess. I wasn't even sure it would work."

  "But it did?"

  "First try."

  "Wow."

  "Don't say wow! You caused this!"

  "I'm sorry!"

  She pushed me away and sat back down on the edge of her bed, head in her hands. I stayed standing, a little dumb-looking I'm sure. I wiped my messy mouth with my sleeve and cleared my throat.

  "At least we have proof you can still use compulsion–"

  "SHUT UP!" Autumn barked.

  I stepped back, genuinely hurt by the volume.

  "D-Did you forget I have roommates? Did you not care?" She gripped the sheets. "Why the fuck would you think it's okay to eat meat like that in my home? This isn't your house, Zach! I can't afford to be exposed!"

  I had no reply. I almost forgot to breathe.

  "HEY!" She growled. "Say something for god's sake!"

  "You switched in your sleep..." I stuttered out. "I thought maybe food could bring you back, but I was so hungry I started eating the lamb on the spot. Then she walked in."

  "I switched in my sleep?" She grumbled. "I do that a lot. It's not a big deal."

  "How was I supposed to know that when you've never mentioned it?"

  "How did you forget I have humans in the house?"

  "I was starving! I was lucky I remembered the sun would hurt!"

  "What if I hadn't been able to compel her, Zach?" Autumn snarled. "What if you'd truly exposed us to Paige? That girl can't keep a lie to save her life."

  "Forgive me if I'm not accustomed to human society like you!" I yelled. "I didn't get what you have! I didn't get to make a new life with people who'd never met me. Everyone knew what I was from the day I died. Everyone was on my ass every damn second about every little thing. I got no independence. I had to get on my knees and beg my mother to let me continue at school. She only said yes so long as I was under constant supervision by you!"

  "Oh, I'm so sorry you were cared about! How horrible!" Autumn yelled back. "You didn't have to handle everything alone! You didn't wake up in a stranger's life and body. You didn't deal with any of the shit I've had to–"

  "But you had experience!" My fangs gritted. "I didn't get that! I had to figure it out the hard way. You got four years of secondhand experience and you took it and ended up so much better than me. You cannot tell me your life now isn't better than mine!"

  "At a fucking cost, my god! The hell is your point?"

  "My point is I don't know how to be human! I never learned how to blend in outside a classroom or shopping centre. I don't know how to hide. I don't know how to talk to people. Of course I messed up the second I was alone here! It's all I know how to do!"

  Autumn averted her gaze instead of replying. Her shoulders tensed further, her claws tearing her bedsheets. As much as she'd been waiting for a fight like this, and despite how many points she'd prepared in her head, she didn't have the energy for it. The compulsion had taken so much out of her, not to mention that she was already weak from hunger. It was asking too much of her body just to hold a sentence.

  I huffed out air from my nose and bit my tongue. I had my own problems, too. The right half of my body was halfway healed, while the left was still badly scarred, scabbed, and blinded. Every facial expression caused piercing pain under my skin, so what was the point?

  With one eye working, I looked back up to her again just in time to catch her head cocking sharply to the side for a split second.

  "Hey." I grabbed her shoulder.

  "What?" She glared.

  She blinked twice. Her lip curled. Her nose twitched.

  I narrowed my eyes.

  "You don't feel that?"

  "God, what is it now?"

  "You're ticcing, Autumn!"

  She froze, falling silent. A few more uneven blinks came and went, and her breaths sped right up.

  "No." She shook her head, which only triggered it to do it itself a few times. "No!"

  "Forget the fight, we can argue later." I kneeled on the mattress beside her, concern taking over my anger.

  "Piss off!" She kicked me.

  "Ouch! What the hell? I'm trying to help you!"

  "No." Autumn cried, head still twitching. "This is supposed to be gone."

  "Au–"

  "IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE OVER!" She sobbed, breaking into tears and curling up. "It's not possible. How is it possible? I-I had tests and scans done when I was a kid to prove it was my brain that was the problem. Isn't it the basal.. gangli-something that causes this? It's a physical thing, and I have a different brain now! There's no fucking chance that Autumn Laurence had Tourette's as well!"

  "You're right, completely right." I sighed, wincing a little at her unravelling. "I don't have an answer for you. You essentially had a brain transplant, I don't understand how it could come back."

  "What the hell?" She cried into her shaking hands.

  My gaze fell on them, how they looked a little more slender than I'd remembered. A really shitty thought hit me.

  "Could it be because you're reverting?"

  She looked up at me in confusion through her watery eyes.

  "Vic, your voice changed, you gained freckles, your eye colour switched from brown to blue." I spoke gently as if trying to tame a wild animal. "Face it, this body's becoming like the last one. It's morphing into the old you. Maybe not just in appearance, maybe from the inside as well."

  "That's terrifying, don't say that." Autumn grumbled. "That makes me feel disgusting."

  "I'm saying what I see!" I took her hand in mine. "As disturbing and horrific as it sounds, like it or not, you're turning back into yourself to some degree. Maybe your brain's going back, too."

  "That's stupid!" She cried. "Why?! I don't want to go back. I like being someone else. I like being a woman who doesn't look sick, doesn't get told to eat more, doesn't get concern instead of compliments. I don't want to be 'Victoria' again. I was so happy thinking I'd never have to deal with this ever again."

  "You told me you barely noticed your tics were gone."

  "I LIED!" Tears fell harder. "Of course I noticed right away. I was just scared that if I thought about it too much I'd jinx it. Look where that got me."

  I nodded. Nothing I could say would fix this, and that was okay. We would have to add this onto the burning pile of problems we were already dealing with. A previously unaffected human brain physically reforming into that of the soul occupying its body's brain and gaining the physical disabilities it had been affected by wasn't that bad, right? I mean, when you compare that to all the other 99 problems about Autumn's situation and then the fact that with two full days passing since Diego's threat the clock was ticking... like Autumn was.

  Oh god, we were screwed.