“Aren't neko lactose intolerant?” Echo asked.

  The group all looked judgingly into their glasses of chocolate milk and vodka.

  “Kinda.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I mean, a little.”

  “Sorta.”

  Echo giggled, finishing off her third glass. It was cold, but it made her feel warm. Weird.

  Cali pointed off into the distance. “Whales! They aren't- not fighting. I like whales. There’s an owl that needs to shut up…”

  “How much has she had?” Maki asked Maeve.

  “Mmmmmm two and a half glasses?”

  “Lightweight,” he muttered, finishing his fourth glass.

  Maeve smiled, leaning over to pour him another. “I don't know if she’s ever had alcohol before.”

  “She has,” Luke said, playing with Maeve’s tail.

  Maeve smiled sweetly at him. “Oh? What happened?”

  Cali’s ears focused on Maeve. “I don't exist in this reality,” she said solemnly.

  “I broke up with her,” Luke added.

  “Aha,” Maki decided.

  Cali’s attention suddenly twitched elsewhere.

  Echo poured herself another glass, still stuck on her original question. “If you shouldn't drink milk, then why didn't you mix vodka and orange juice?”

  “It tastes better this way,” Maki said.

  “Orange juice?” Maeve asked.

  “Yeah, that was my father’s favorite drink,” Echo said before she could stop herself. A part of her knew she should stop there, but she couldn't. “I’m not supposed to know anything about him, but if they didn't want me to know, they shouldn't have made me a Spy.”

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Maki watched her carefully. “Yeah, if they were trying to hide something…”

  Echo downed half her glass and refilled it. “I mean, he was paid to get my mother pregnant. And then leave forever. But turns out, he actually liked her, so he came back, and was executed for it. And then my mother conveniently died in childbirth, so Mom had no choice but to keep control until I turn nineteen, no choice at all! And come on. Everyone knows it wasn't an accident. But anyone who dares speak about it gets exiled, so what are they gonna do?”

  “Wait…” Maeve said, her eyes going wide.

  “I know what I’m gonna do,” Echo said, the words unstoppable. “I’m gonna put her under house arrest. Sure, the Empire isn't on fire or anything, she’s done a good job, but she’s totally evil, come on.”

  Maeve was still staring. “You’re not just named after the Princess Echo, are you?”

  “I’m the original,” Echo giggled. “Is there more vodka?”

  “When do you turn nineteen?” Maeve asked urgently, her eyes flicking to Maki.

  She winked, pointing at Maeve. “In twoooo months.”

  “Happy birthday,” Luke said absently, still very focused on Maeve’s tail.

  Echo’s eyes trailed to Maki’s tail, and she wondered if he would mind her playing with it like that.

  Maeve was thinking things over. “So, when you turn nineteen-”

  “Stop fighting,” Cali whispered.

  They all looked at her. She was holding her glass so tightly her knuckles were white. That was fine, but then her eyes and ears began to glow bright pink.

  “Stop fighting,” she begged, tears in her eyes, tail thrashing.

  “Maybe we should knock her out,” Maki said, alarmed.

  Pink magic pulsed out of Cali as she jumped to her feet and began pacing. “Stop fighting! Stop arguing! Just shut up and get along for two weeks and then everyone can go home! Shut up shut upshutup! Just be friends!” She screamed, throwing her glass against the wall so hard it shattered, then collapsed into a ball on the floor and sobbed.

  There was silence for a few seconds, as Echo went from stunned to realizing she wasn't able to speak any more.

  Gold magic filled the room, and suddenly the Watcher of Tiros was standing in their midst.

  “Ok, you kids have ten seconds to tell me what just happened.”

  Echo tried, but the magic, though fading, was still too strong in her mind. Cali was still a ball on the floor, and Maki and Maeve looked terrified.

  Luke, seeming completely unphased, held out a bottle to the Goddess. “Vodka?”